Delicate

Chapter Sixteen: Damaged Walls













when you love someone - you\'ll feel it deep inside

and nothin else can ever change your mind

when you want someone - when you need someone

when you need someone...











It’s too much, too dangerous. Severus thought as he stared at the witch sleeping beside him. She was under his skin, in his heart and it was becoming unbearable the deeper she went. He had only let one other get so close to him and she had destroyed him. Sure, it had been years ago, an adolescent infatuation, a desire for the woman he couldn’t have and maybe he shouldn’t have held on to it for so long but it had been the catalyst for two decades of misery. There was no changing the affect that Lily’s rejection had made on his life, no changing who it had shaped him into.





He reached out and moved a frizzy curl from where it clung to her cheek. She was exhausted after a long day at the school and then a skinny dip in the cold waters of the Atlantic Ocean. They had a light supper on the screened porch and then he had laid her back on the padded chaise and kissed every inch of her, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, paying special attention to all the places in between. His scalp still ached from her pulling his hair as he licked and nibbled between her thighs. She tasted so sweet, as though she were flavored according to his tastes.





Once he started it was like he couldn’t get enough of her. The more she arched and writhed beneath him the more enthusiastic he became in his devouring of her until she could take no more and pleaded with him for mercy. It was a heady thing to have a woman break apart in his arms, especially a woman like Hermione who held nothing back from him. She loved him. He knew it without a shadow of a doubt yet the longer they continued, the deeper his feelings grew the more nervous and wary he became. It should be the opposite really; he should be more secure in her feelings, in her faith in him.





The damage to his heart seemed irreparable at times. Was he even capable of love or had the scars of his past hidden that emotion for all eternity? He wanted to love her. But could he risk it? He never thought that Lily would betray him as she had, was he destined to be blinded by the women of Godric’s house?





“I can hear you thinking,” she said sleepily, her eyes still closed.





“Can you now? And here I thought I was the most skilled Occlumens of all time,” he laughed quietly. She rolled her head towards him and opened her eyes half way.





“Why are you staring at me like that, was I drooling?” She reached up and rubbed the furrow between his brows with her index finger.





“Not that I noticed, I was just wondering if you were out for the night and I was going to be forced to carry you inside to bed. I don’t fancy a night on this chaise,” he said as he shifted her so that he lay on his back and she on her side, her body pressed into his.





“Is that all? You looked…distressed,” she said softly, her chin resting on his chest as she looked up at him.





“I am fine, my face always seems to register more negative emotions, regardless of what I am actually feeling,” he jested, closing his eyes so that she wouldn’t look any deeper. He heard her sigh and then felt her lips along the tough, scarred flesh of his throat. She kissed, licked and nibbled her way down his throat, thoroughly sampling his skin. He didn’t move, didn’t speak, he just let her explore him passively. Soft hands threaded through his chest hair and fingertips stroked his nipples while her tongue traced his collar bones. She licked the flat disks with the tip of her tongue then shocked him when she raked her teeth over them extracting a little grunt from him.





She moved lower, her curls trailing over his chest and stomach as she followed the trail of silky black hair to his navel. His stomach muscles tightened when she dipped her tongue into the little dip then proceeded to continue her journey down. She nipped at his hip bones, her hands caressing his flanks as she adjusted herself to straddle his legs and support her weight over him.





“Severus?” He heard her say his name and slowly lifted his lids to find her staring at him, waiting for his permission to do what she wanted. The longing on her face was impossible to refuse, not that he wanted to. He was aroused, painfully so, had been for hours. It had taken great willpower not to take her on the rough sands after their swim, and even more not to plunge into her when she was all wet and pliable from his mouth.





His reasons for not making love to her fully were no longer the same. In the beginning it had been a control factor, he wanted to test her, to see if she really understood what it meant to be with a man like him. He had wanted to establish himself as the dominant partner, to drive home the fact that it would be HIS decision whether or not to fuck her. He had also not wanted to rush it, she was young and he didn’t think she truly knew her heart well enough to make such a commitment. She had proven herself again and again as the summer wore on. No, his reasons were no longer about giving her time. He was running scared and he knew it. If he took her, if he slid his cock into her body he would seal his fate. He would lose himself to a woman again, he would be vulnerable to her and she would have the power to hurt him. He couldn’t give her that kind of power, couldn’t make that mistake again.





He stroked her lips, his fingers sliding along her cheeks to cup the sides of her head. Her expression told him that she feared he was going to pull her away, that she wanted to please him and would be disappointed if he stopped her. He was disappointing her enough already by withholding from her. He should walk away, obliviate her memories of them and let it be but he couldn’t. He was damaged; a sadistic obsessive git who refused to give her his heart yet couldn’t make himself give her up. It was unfair and he knew it but he still couldn’t walk away from her.





“Suck me,” he whispered, pressing her bottom lip with his thumbs until she opened her mouth. His cock was heavy and hard, lying against his belly in front of her. She ran her tongue from the base to the tip before taking him in her hand and holding it erect. She circled the tip with her tongue, rubbing the flat of her tongue against the bell end and tasting the bitter, salty flavor of the ejaculate beading in the slit. He took a deep, audible breath through his nose when she closed her mouth around him, sucking him firmly between her lips and taking him deeper than he expected her too.





She had a hand wrapped around the base, stroking gently while she worked the tip with her mouth. Her tongue pressed firmly to the underside, the rough surface of it stroking him with every pass. Severus was impressed with her control and concerned for his own. She didn’t go at him like a wild thing, but lowered and raised her head slow and steady. She concentrated on pleasing him, not rushing to get it done. She licked, suckled and stroked him lovingly, applying herself to the task like a woman born to it. Maybe she was because he had never known anything like it.







“That’s right…just like that...” he felt her aroused whimper along his length when he spoke. Hermione responded beautifully to sex-talk and he knew that her pussy would be wet and swollen. All he would have to do is pull her up his body and push his cock up into her, lose himself in the heat of her body. The urge to throw it all to the wind and take the risk was there, but he just couldn’t. His hands tightened on the side of her head and he began pumping into her mouth, pushing his cock between her lips as she sucked. “Deeper, Hermione, swallow me….” Her little moan vibrated along his length as she relaxed and sucked him hard into the back of her throat. “Oh gods, yes!” he hissed through clenched teeth as she throated him. Her eyes were open, watery and focused on him as he received the best blow job of his life. The perversion of being sucked off by a former student not at all lost on him. “I’m going to come….I’m going to fill that pretty little mouth of yours and I want you to swallow me, all of me, understand?”





She moaned her acknowledgement around his cock as he tightened his grip on her head and began to fuck her mouth in earnest. She seemed shocked but not appalled. She didn’t try to pull away from him or check his invasion in any way; instead she relaxed her throat and sucked harder, her little hand sliding low to fondle his balls. They pulsed in her hand, jerking up tight against his body as his release neared. He was breathing heavily, his hips arching off of the chaise with every push into her mouth. Suddenly he froze, holding her head tight in his hands, his cock lodged against the back of her throat, his breath hissing through his teeth as the first rush of his semen splashed against the back of her throat. She suckled gently, fighting the instinct to gag as he pumped stream after stream into her throat. She swallowed reflexively her throat muscles working against the head as he swore softly and shuddered, then fell limp against the chaise.





He stroked her face as she eased off of him and climbed up his body to lie on top of him. Her lips were soft, wet and swollen and he couldn’t resist pressing a kiss to them. She was trembling in his arms as the night breeze blew through the screen and cooled their sweaty bodies.





“Um…that’s never happened to me before,” she said softly, shaking in his arms. That was when it occurred to him that he wasn’t the only one who had gotten off on the act. The little witch had been so aroused by sucking him that she had come as well.





“I can’t say it’s ever happened to me either,” he said, awe apparent in his voice. “I don’t think anyone has ever wanted me like you do.” He wasn’t really sure if he was speaking to her or himself. It was true; he was completely humbled by her desire for him and unnerved by it.





“No, I don’t think you understand, Severus,” she said softly, her cheek resting just above the place where his heart pounded. “I have never come with a man before. I’ve come close…but only when I thought of you. You…you make me come so easily…it freaks me out some times.”





“I don’t know if I should be upset that you are discussing previous lovers or smug because only I can make you sing,” he said, gently pulling her curls to the side so that the back of her neck could receive the breeze and cool her down.





“They may as well not exist for all the thought I have given them since I became involved with you,” she said, closing her eyes. “I only brought it up now because…because it’s so different with you. I am different with you.”





“It’s different with you as well, Hermione,” he said quietly, thankful that she wasn’t looking at him else he probably wouldn’t have been able to speak. “I’ll not pretend to understand why you wish to be with me, but know that I am a different man with you than I ever was with another.” He felt her smile when she turned her face into him and kissed his chest.





“I’m glad,” she said quietly. “I think I might be a jealous woman.”







“Yes, I noticed that you stiffened considerably when Minerva mentioned Ms. Sinclair this afternoon,” he smirked.





“Who is she?”





“She is an American Potions Mistress I met years ago while I was still an apprentice,” he said quietly. “She aided me in smuggling half-blood and muggle-born witches and wizards to safety. The Dark Lord believed I got my thrills from killing the victims of the revels, so that pleasure was saved for me. I had modified a petrificus spell to make them appear dead, and then I would ‘vanish’ the bodies to a hidden location, a cabin in the woods near Glasgow. When I was free I would go there and contact Gretchen who would take them to America and tend to them, then obliviate them and relocate them.”





“Was she ever your lover?” She asked, her body stiff as though bracing herself for the answer.





“No, she was not. She was just a woman I knew who wanted to help bring down the Dark Lord. She got a bit of a thrill out of it, likened herself to Harriet Tubman and The Underground Railroad,” he said. “Do you know anything about American History?”





“Of course I do,” she said. “Think about who you are talking to.” She laughed.





“I apologize, I should know better by now,” he said.





“Do you speak often?” She asked.





“Not really, we correspond on occasion and see one another at various events for Potions Masters, I haven’t seen her in about five years I suppose,” he said thoughtfully. “She will make a fine Headmistress I am certain.” Hermione yawned and snuggled against him. “I think we should go to bed.”





“Okay,” she said tiredly but didn’t move. Severus chuckled and sat up slowly, shifting her in his arms until he had her cradled against his chest.





“I think you are spoiled, Hermione, I find myself carrying you to bed more often than I should,” he said, kissing her brow as he went into the house, the doors closing wordlessly behind him and locking tight.





“Mmm…spoil me,” she murmured as he silently turned off the lights in his wake, bypassing her room and taking her to his. The covers on his bed turned themselves down and he laid her on the clean sheets, sliding in beside her and dragging the blankets over them both. “I like sleeping with you, Severus.” She said, rolling onto her side and pressing her back against him.





“I like sleeping with you too,” he whispered, kissing the back of her neck. “Good night, Hermione.”











When You Love Someone

(written by Bryan Adams, Elliott Kennedy and Michael Kamen)



When you love someone - you\'ll do anything

you\'ll do all the crazy things that you can\'t explain

you\'ll shoot the moon - put out the sun

when you love someone



you\'ll deny the truth - believe a lie

there\'ll be times that you\'ll believe you can really fly

but your lonely nights - have just begun

when you love someone



when you love someone - you\'ll feel it deep inside

and nothin else can ever change your mind

when you want someone - when you need someone

when you need someone...



when you love someone - you\'ll sacrifice

you\'d give it everything you got and you won\'t think twice

you\'d risk it all - no matter what my come

when you love someone

you\'ll shoot the moon - put out the sun

when you love someone















~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~





Good Morning my lovelies! So…a little more active this chapter LOL….shocked are ye? Just wait =)I hate work days, it makes it so hard for me to respond to reviews since I update before going in. I do have the next four days off though! So some general answers/responses…



Again, thank you all for the support on this story. I appreciate it.



For new readers…Music is always playing, I catalogue artifacts with my earbuds in at work LOL…I wanted you to know what I was listening to while I was writing, hence the song in each chapter.



The next SS/HG will be longer, I promise. It has a bit of a “phantom” twist on it, =)



And in response to Kelly’s email….I work in a museum, deep in the archives where I am all alone most of the time with only the creepy artifacts to keep me company. Sometimes I get so freaked out I have to go for a walk LOL