It Started With a Kiss

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Over the next two years Neville was in his element. Though it was difficult to start another lot of studying he settled into the routine of working in the Hogwarts greenhouses and quickly became a favourite with the Hogwarts staff and students. At the start of his apprenticeship Neville was only observing during lessons and helping Professor Sprout set the first through fifth year exams but towards the end of his two years indentures he was conducting lessons on his own and tutouring N.E.W.T students. Then the Christmas holidays came in the last year of his apprenticeship and now he was sprawled out on the lounge deep in thought after returning home from Hogwarts a day previously.

Every year they had been together he and Hannah’s relationship had grown from strength to strength where now five and a half years after ‘that kiss he was ready to ask her to marry him. While Hannah was downstairs busy working the front bar of the Leaky Neville got up and instantly disapparated to his family Manor in Upper Flagley.

‘Hello anyone home?’ He called to no one in particular as he entered the fornt parlour.

‘Neville is that you?’ Enid’s voice called from the kitchen ‘in the kitchen’

‘Where else?’ Neville said with a grin making his way into the kitchen and greeting his Great Aunt with a hug.

‘It’s great to see you kiddo’ Enid said heading back to the larder ‘didn’t expect you to be back up here so soon after Hogwarts let out how are things at the Leaky?’

‘Busy as usual with Christmas coming up’ Neville said leaning against the kitchen bench ‘I’m not working there today though Harry’s got me doing a nightshift for the Auror office tonight’

‘You should be sleeping then’ Enid said backing out of the larder with a basket of baking goods ‘so what do I owe this pleasure? You didn’t say you were coming’

‘I decided at the last minute’ Neville said ‘are Mum, Dad, Algie and Gran around?’

‘Only Algernon’ Enid said ‘he’s down in the propergating greenhouse with the Fanged Geraniums, your parents are at the Ministry and Augusta is at St Mungos for the Ladies Auxillary AGM. She won’t be back til this afternoon why?’

‘Well I have something important to discuss with you all and I’d rather you all be here in the one spot when I talk about it’ Neville said

‘Oooh sounds juicy’ Enid sad with a grin ‘care to let me have a snippet of info?’

‘Jeez Enie you’re turning into a gossip in your old age’ Neville said with a grin.

‘Oh sod off I am not you just look really earnest and I want to know what’s making you look that way’

‘If I tell you you must promise me not to tell a soul living or dead’ Neville said seriously.

‘I promise’ Enid said solemnly ‘if I didn’t have rheumatism I would get down on the floor and promise you’

‘Well I suppose I can trust you’ Neville said ‘I’m thinking of asking Hannah to marry me’

‘REALLY?’ Enid screeched her hands flying to her mouth.

‘Enie shut up!’ Neville hissed looking around ‘shhhhhhh!’

‘Sorry dear, oh are you serious? Really truly?’

‘Yeah I am’ Neville said a goofy grin on his face ‘after five and a half years I figured it was about time I did’

‘And make an honest woman out of her huh?’ Enid said with a grin ‘well she’ll be a very lucky girl Neville. Everyone in this family love her’

‘I know I love her so much you know Enie?’ I think I’d been thinking about it for a while now but it was like ten minutes ago when I was dozing in the lounge that I finally came to the decision’

‘So you haven’t asked her father yet?’

‘No’

‘You must do that before you tell the family’ Enid urged ‘I promise to keep things zipped but you must get his permission first. It’s only proper’

‘Y’think so?’

Yes I do. I know in these modern times tradition goes out the window but I think Mick and Hannah will like the tradition bit’

‘I suppose I better make a quick trip to Wolverhampton then’ Neville said with a goofy grin ‘can you get everyone to stay here for dinner but not let on why? I’ll be back by six o’clock’

‘Won’t Hannah get suss if you’re not back at the Leaky then?’

‘I’ll floo her and let her know I’ll be at Hogwarts transferring my things into Pomona’s old quarters’ Neville said ‘I’ve been doing that every evening since Hogwarts let out. Hannah’s been working evenings in the front bar recently so she shouldn’t get suss’

‘Okay then but if she does count on me to provide a cover story for you’ Enid said with a grin ‘go on and god luck!’

‘Thanks Enie!’

Neville turned on the spot and disappeared into the suffocating blackness that was disapparition. He arrived at Hannah’s childhood home seconds later and made his way down the drive out to the back where the main arena was to his surprise Zac Hannah’s eighteen year old brother was conducting a lesson there instead of Mick.

‘Oi Zac pal where’s your Dad?’ Neville asked as Zac sent his pupil and her horse of to the other end of the arena.

‘Oh hey Neville inside cooking the books’ Zac said.

‘Thanks!’

Neville turned and mae his way up the back porch and into the house.
‘Mick you here?’ he called.

‘Yeah mate in the office!’ came the surprised reply.

Neville made his way to the office and Mick greeted him with a firm handshake.
‘Surprised to see you here’ he said taking his seat behind his desk ‘what can I do for you?’

Neville flopped back in his chair now totally lost for words.
‘I....er....uhm...I dunno’ he finished lamely.

‘Well spit it out’ Mick said in amusement ‘I know you didn’t come here just to stutter at me’

‘Well....no’ Neville said ‘oh here goes...IwanttomarryhannahandIcameheretoaskyourpermission’

‘Pardon?’ Mick said ‘mate take a deep breath I don’t want you droppng dead on my office floor because you forgot to breathe’

‘I-want-to-marry-Hannah-and-came-here-to-ask-your-permission’ Neville said stuttered ‘may I marry her?’

Micks eyebrows disappeared into his fringe.
‘You want to marry my girl?’ he said.

‘Yes sir’

Mick grinned.
‘What took you so long to ask?’ he said with a chuckle ‘I’ve been expecting you to pop the big one for years’

‘W-ell..you have?’

‘Oh yeah especially after you graduated from Auror training’

‘Well I suppose the time hasn’t been right til now’ Neville said ‘I was in Auror training then my Herbology apprenticeship and Hannah was getting the new and improved Leaky Cauldron up and running....hey hang on how long have you been expecting me to ask her? Can I marry her? I’m going to anyway’

Mick laughed loudly.
‘No doubt you will’ he said ‘but yes Neville you have my blessing go ahead and waltz my little girl down the aisle’

‘Oh great!’

Nevilles whole body relaxed and he exhaled loudly.

‘So when are you going to ask Hannah herself?’ Mick asked.

‘Oh hell I hadn’t even thought about that’ Neville admitted ‘I’m not going to go home right now and ask her I was thinking maybe on Christmas day’

‘Great stuff, how about a ring? I take it you haven’t got her one yet?’

‘No I hadn’t thought that far’

Mick ‘tsk’d’ jokingly.
‘Would you like her Uncle David and I to make one for her?’ he asked.

‘Oh would you?’

‘Sure it would be my pleasure. How about tomorrow you drop by the shop in Diagon Alley and meet with us. Hannah will be busy at the Leaky I’m sure you could arrange something to get away’

‘Yeah I could’ Neville said with a grin ‘I’m doing some releif work for the Auror office in the Christmas Holidays so I could come in my lunch hour’ Neville said.

‘That’s perfect how about Tuesday at half twelve? I’ll clear my schedule and make sure Dave does too. If we both work on the piece we can get it ready by her birthday party’

‘Great and can you swear him to secrecy?’ Neville pleaded ‘don’t even let him tell Jas, I know Hannah’s close to her Aunt but I want as few people as possible knowing about this’

‘No worries mate, does anyone in your family know?’

‘Only Enid’ Neville replied ‘and tonight I’m going home for dinner I’ll tell my parents, Gran and Algie then but I’ll make them promise not to tell anyone. I’m not even going to tell Harry and Ron and those two are my best mates’

Mick rubbed his hands together.
‘I think we can make this Christmas she’ll remember for the rest of her life’ he said with a grin ‘time to get the ball rolling eh?’

‘You got it’ Neville said ‘but can you make a ring by Christmas day? It’s only a week away’

‘We’ll have to put in some extra hours but we’ll manage’ Mick assured him ‘we’ve done it before’

‘Thanks a lot Mick’

‘No worries matey’

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The next day Neville flooed his way to the jewellery shop owned by Hannah’s father and Uncle as soon as Hannah made her way downstairs to the front bar. Mick was waiting for him as he walked through the front door and quickly ushered him out the back where the large workshop and offices were. David Hannah’s uncle who he had met on several previous occasions greeted him warmly with the usual bone breaking handshake.

‘Neville good to see you again old son I believe we have some work to do!’ he said with a grin.

‘Yup we do’ Neville said returning the smile ‘thanks for not saying anything’

‘Wouldn’t dream of it’ David said as they sat down at a work bench ‘this is important stuff’

‘Okay so where do you want to start?’ Mick asked Neville sitting down opposite Neville next to David with a pencil and sheaf of parchment.

‘I have no idea’ Neville said ‘I’ve never designed a piece of jewellery before’

‘Have you had even a breif idea what you think Hannah would like?’ David asked.

‘Well that much I do know’ Neville said ‘I know she wouldn’t want anything too over the top. Something elegant yet simple’

Mick began scribbling away.

‘How about stones?’ David asked pulling open a drawer and taking out a large velvet pouch ‘any thoughts about what stones you’d like on the ring?’’

‘I’ve only just decided to propose to Hannah’ Neville said with a grin ‘I’ve barely thought about the ring itself’

David opened the drawtring on the pouch and emptied the contents on a small plastic tray. Neville looked down and saw some of the most beautiful diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds and curiously a piece of ammythest the size of a golf ball uncut and cut.

‘We have a nugget of South African gold we’ll make the actual ring from’ he said sorting the gems into separate piles with a poke form the end of his wand ‘it’s the gems you have to worry about. Most grooms who have come to us to design rings recently have gone for the traditional princess cut diamond on white gold but if you want something a bit individualistic I’d steer away from the plain diamond. I think plain diamonds are boring anyway’

‘They look nice’ Neville said poking at the emeralds ‘they’re green like her eyes’

‘That’s a good start’ David said brightly scooping up the emeralds and putting them on a separate tray.

‘And Ruby’s her birthstone they would make a good mix wouldn’t they?’ Neville said uncertainly ‘red and green? And maybe a few tiny diamonds around the edges. Geez I dunno jewellery design really isn’t my thing it’s Hannah’s but I can’t ask her to design her own engagement ring can I?’

Mick and David laughed.

‘No but you’ve given us enough to make a start on a design’ Mick said ‘basically you want something original, not over the top and essentially something Hannah’

‘Yes exactly’ Neville said ‘something delicate but not airy fairy....like Hannah’

‘I think we can create something that you and Hannah will like’ David said ‘leave it to us we’ll get back to you on Christmas Eve and get you in to see the final product’

‘Thanks guys’ Neville said getting to his feet ‘thanks a lot’

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Over the next week Neville threw himself into working for the Auror office and the Leaky Cauldron in an attempt to distract himself from the Christmas party which as coming up now in twenty four hours at her old family home in Wolverhampton. Hannah had just gone downstairs for the lunchtime rush when the floo in her and Neville’s flat lit up and David’s head appeared in the grate.

‘Neville you got a minute mate?’ he said to Neville who was on the other side of the room at the dining table going over his fifth years study plan for the rest of the school year.

‘Is it done?’ Neville asked eagerly leaping up from his hair and rushing over to the grate.

‘Yup come and have a look’

Davids head disappeared form the grate and Neville stepped into it. He threw down a handful of floo powder harder than he normally would have and almost shouted ‘Abbotts Jewellers!

Ferocious green flames erupted up around him and carried him off to Abbotts Jewellers. He arrived in the back rooms with a thud and the momentum then threw himout of the grate and across the rom where he tripped up and banged his head rather painfully on a cast iron leg of a work bench.

‘AH FUCK! he bellowed rolling onto his knees and clutching at his head ‘ow ow ow!’

There was a deep chuckle and David grabbed his arm pulling him to his feet.
‘Banged your head a bit?’ he said in amusement ‘that’s too much floo powder’

‘No kidding’ Neville hissed through watering eyes still clutching at his stinging scalp ‘ah bugger it stings!’

‘You’ll live’ David said with a grin ‘want to come and have a look?’’

‘Yeah yeah go on’

Still rubbing his head Neville followed David to the very back of the shop where he was led into a room that contained a huge safe. Mick was standing behind a wooden table upon which rested a muggle style reading lamp and a single small velvet pouch. David shut the door behind them and locked it with a tap from his and.

‘Is that it?’ Neville asked Mick momentarily forgetting his head pain and pointing to the velvet pouch.

‘Uh huh want a look?’ Mick said with a grin.

‘Of course!’

Mick reached into the pouch and pulled out a mahogany wood ring box. He them flicked open the lid to reveal the singularly most beautiful piece of jewellery that Neville had ever seen. Inside resting on the dove coloured velvet was a modest yellow gold ring with four perfectly round cut stones set in it going in a Ruby/Emerald/Ruby/Emerald sequence. Between each stone was a tiny diamond no bigger than a grain of rice and the reading lamps light made it sparkle as Mick turned the box from side to side.

‘Oh wow that’s beautiful!’ Neville exclaimed taking the ring from the box and laying it in his hand ‘delicate yet not too fine’

‘We stayed back last night to finish it’ Mick said ‘the diamonds were a pain in the arse to set right we had to do it the muggle way, but Dave and I think we got it just right in the end.’

‘Yeah you did’ Neville said putting the ring back in the box ‘it’s great guys thank you so so much!’

‘No worries mate we were glad to help David said cheerfully clapping Neville on the back ‘take it now and keep it in a safe place yeah?’

‘Of course I’ll guard it with my life’ Neville said as Mick put the box back in the velvet bag and tied a secure knot in the cord ‘thankyou so so much guys see you both tomorrow night yeah?’

‘Be there or be square’ Mick with a chuckle.

Neville pocketed the pouch and quickly flooed back to the apartment to resume poring over his notes on venomous plants and to once again take his mind off the proposal.

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The Leaky Cauldron was open on Christmas day as it had been for the past few years to allow for those wizarding families who didn’t want to go through the hassle of cooking their own Christmas dinner. Neville and Hannah had their old school friends over in the morning for what had become a traditional get together and gift giving then at quarter to six flooed to Wolverhampton where for the first time Neville’s family consisting of his parents, Gran and Algie and Enid were combining their Christmas dinner with Hannah’s family consisting of her Dad and his girlfriend Victoria, brothers Zac and Jake and their girlfriends and her sister Louise and her fiance William as well as Mick’s brother David Hannah’s Unlce and his Wife Jas.

When they arrived Augusta was helping Victoria with the roast turkey and Zac and Jake were furiously testing the latest video game on the newest version of game console in the lounge room.

‘Will you two never grow up?’ Hannah said to her brothers kneeling down behind them and giving them a hug.

‘Hannah banana you got me killed!’ Zac complained as his video character gave a blood curdling scream and died in a unrealistically large pool of blood.

‘Diddy dums’ Hannah said with a grin as her brothers turned around and hugged her ‘what’s this game called? ‘Super Mega Death Pits of Doom Three?’

Zac rolled his eyes.
‘No Army Super Combat’ he said ‘latest big thing out. Uncle David got it for me from America’

‘There is a game called Pits of Doom though’ Jake said with a grin ‘but I left it at my unit. Shall I go back and get it?’

‘No if you went now Dad would hex you’ Hannah said getting to her feet ‘Neville and I came in through the kitchen and Augusta and Vicky were just taking the turkey out of the oven’

‘Hey Neville!’ Zac greeted Neville after turning of the video console and t.v with a flick from his wand ‘or should I still call you Professor?’

‘Ha ha no’ Neville said ‘you graduated last Summer and anyway I don’t become a Profesor til next September ages yet’

‘Not that far’ Hannah said as the four of them made their way back into the dining table which was elaborately decorated with red, green and silver christmas decorations each plate bearing a name card of those invited.

‘Oh great timing!’ Victoria said brightly as they entered the kitchen ‘everything’s ready places at the table everyone!’

Neville found his and Hannah’s seats and sat down. Above the table flew an animated sleigh driven by a santa and pulled by reindeer and every minute or so the fat little santa would crack his whip and bellow ‘HO HO HO ME-EEERY CHRISTMAS!’

‘Okay turkey, ham or chicken anyone?’ Mick said getting to his feet and seizing a carving knife and fork.

‘All three!’ Zac and Jake chorused.

‘Pigs’ Hannah said affectionately sipping her egg nog ‘leave some for us won’t you lads?’

‘Yeah whatever Miss Christmas Pudding Hoover 2004’ Zac said with a great snorting laugh.

‘Oh that incident was sixteen years ago’ Hannah said her cheeks going red.

‘You know Neville one Christmas when Hannah was eight years old we had Christmas lunch at Nanna and Pop’s in Doncaster Hannah got up during he night and ate the whole brandied plum pudding that was meant to feed the adults?’ Zac said ‘Nanna and Pop, Mum, Dad, Uncle David, Aunty Jas?’

‘I was eight years old!’ Hannah protested as Mick, Louise, David. Jas and Jake howled with laughter ‘how was I supposed to know it had sixty proof booze in it?

‘And she got so drunk Marie Hannah’s Mum and I had to spend the morning in St Mungos with her’ Mick said with a loud snort ‘you’ve never seen anyone so sick in your life!’

‘And those three turds’ Hannah said pointing to her brothers and sister 'spent the whole day laughing at me. It was the worst Christmas ever I was sick as a dog and couldn’t eat anything’

‘I was five and Zac was four and we both remember it like it was yesterday’ Jake said with a grin.

‘And as a result of that incident I can’t stand brandy’ Hannah said to Neville levitating her plate over to her father ‘even now I don’t like serving it behind the bar. The smell makes me retch sometimes’

Neville grinned.
‘I’ll remember that’ he said ‘can you retreive the memory so I can see it in real time in a penseive Mick?’

‘Oh don’t you start’ Hannah said rolling her eyes ‘I bet you’ve done something worse, or at the very least equally as embarassing’

‘Nope nothing like that’ Neville said with a grin dropping a baked potato on his plate ‘but I’m only twenty three there’s loads of time for me to start doing embarrassing things at Christmas’

Over the next two hours Neville and Hannah sat around the table with their families slowly eating the enormous feast that had been prepared then eventualy Neville flopped back in his chair the waistband of his trousers uncomfortably tight.

‘I can’t eat another bite’ he sad levitating his plate over to the sink where it landed with a soft chink ‘if I did my guts would bust and no one wants to clean that mess up’

‘Well how about we retire to the lounge room for gifts?’ Mick suggested waving his wand so all the dirty plates flew to the sink ‘if we take time doing that there’ll be room for dessert’

‘Not brandied plum pudding I hope’ Hannah said making a face.

‘Nope Baileys Choc Fudge Ice Cream’ Mick said ‘I thought a departure from tradition would be nice’

‘Yum I’ll have some of that’ Hannah said pushing her chair back form the table.

Everyone got up form the table and made their way down the hall to the loungerom where a huge Christmas tree elaborately decorated in gold and silver was sitting in the corner with a huge pile of gifts under it. Neville sat in front of the fireplace and Hannah cuddled up to him her fingers laced through his.

‘Guests first’ Mick said indicating to Augusta.

Augusta flicked her wand and a small wrapped box flew to Mick and Vicky, Zac and Jake and their girlfriends and Hannah.

‘Just a small token of thanks for having us in your home’ she said ‘these are from Neville, Algernon, Enid and I.

Zac opened his box and took out a bag of Honeydukes finest hard caramels.
‘Oh hard caramels!’ he declared excitedly ‘gee thanks for these Mrs Longbottom they’re my favourite. How’d you know?’

‘Oh a bit of research dear’ Augusta said twiddling her thumbs and looking at the ceiling.

Hannah laughed as she opened her own packet of old English boiled lollies.
‘Thanks very much Augusta’ she said popping one into her mouth.

Hannah’s family gave their gifts which also happened to be sweets from Honeydukes then Hannah who was closest to the tree then began giving out the gifts according to the affixed labels.

‘Dad this is yours’ she said sending a small box over to her father ‘and Zac this is yours, Vicky this is from Dad, Neville this is yours’

This went on for fifteen minutes til each person in the room had a small pile of presents in front of them even Paco and Merlin Hannah’s dogs got a new chew toy each. There was general chatter as the presents were opened and everyone got to enjoy their gifts. Then when there was nothing left but an enormous pile of paper in the centre of the lounge room and Neville started looking under the tree.

‘What’s up?’ Hannah said as she unwrapped a new quill and parchment set from her father.

‘I think you missed one’ Neville said getting on his knees and getting under the tree.

‘You sure?’ Hannah said ‘I cast the summoning charm just incase there was any in the back.

‘Yeah but this one looks like it’s stuck’ Neville said ‘hang on’

Neville made sure his hands were hidden before he took Hannah’s ring box out of his trousers pocket and flicked his wand so a ‘To Hannah Merry Christmas Love Neville’ label appeared on it. He then backed out.

‘Here we go’ he said brushing pine needles out of his hair ‘it’s for you’

Over in the corner of the room Enid gave him a barely discernable wink. Neville returned it then sat back down next to Hannah.

‘It’s from you!’ Hannah exclaimed reading the label.

‘Go on open it’ Neville said nervousness swooping through his belly.

Hannah broke the ribbon then ripped off the red wrapping revealing the ring box. She then flicked it open to reveal the delicatley made Ruby, Diamond and Emerald ring. Hannah’s jaw dropped and she stared at Neville incredulously.

‘Han I’ve been thinking about it for a while’ Neville said taking the ring out of the box and holding it out to her ‘I love you so so much and want to be with you forever will you marry me?’

Hannah’s hands flew to her mouth and she squealed loudly everyone else burst into whoops, cheers and whistles. Zac said loudly ‘took you long enough!’

‘Well?’ Neville said as tears began streaming down Hannah’s cheeks ‘you’re letting me hang here’

Hannah nodded through her tears.
‘Y-yes’ she hiccuped nodding hard ‘yes I will marry you!’

Neville slid the ring over Hannah’s finger then opened his arms. She launched herself forward and engulfed him in a hug knocking him back onto his bum. Neville laughed and returned the hug kising her on the lips.

Enid, Mick and Dave slapped each other high fives and hissed ‘yesssss she said yes!

‘S-so you two knew?’ Hannah eclaimed extricating herself from Neville.

‘We were the first Neville came to’ Enid said with a grin swirling her egg nog.

‘He came to me and asked for permission to marry you’ Mick said.

‘You did?’ Hannah said looking at Neville.

Neville turned scarlet.
‘Yeah I did’ he mumbled.

‘Okay this is getting entirely too mushy for my taste’ Jake announced flicking his wand and summoning a bottle of Champagne from the kitchen and some glasses form the liquor cabinet ‘how about we give a toast then get into pudding?’

‘You always think of your stomach you bottomless pit’ Hannah said dryly catching a glass just in time for the Champagne bottle to tip over it ‘you must have the highest metabolism known to mankind. Wizard or Muggle’

‘Yeah our horses eat less than Jake does’ Zac said.

‘Shut up Zachary’ Jake said.

‘Bite me in the halls decked by holly’ Zac said laughing at his own joke.

There was a collective groan from those in the room.

‘Okay I propose a toast’ Jake said a moment later lifting his glass ‘to my big sister Hannah and Neville congratulations to you both’

‘Neville and Hannah’ everyone chorused.

‘Oh and if you hurt her we’ll kill you’ Zac added with a great snorting laugh.

‘Jake shut up you loon’ Louise said making a face ‘congratulations guys I wish you all the happiness in the world’

Hannah hugged her sister.
‘Thanks Louie’ she said.

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Within a month Neville and Hannah had decided on a wedding date....July tenth.

‘It’s right in the middle of the school holidays’ Hannah said shortly after the new year ‘it’s far enough after Hogwarts letting out that you can relax and if we honeymoon for two weeks we can get back in time for you to get things organised for the school year. I’d love a Summer wedding everyone’s got time off. It’s in the quidditch off season so it wouldn’t interfere with Ginny’s commitments with the Harpies and that’s when most of our friends who work in the Ministry take time off’

‘Sounds good to me’ Neville said flipping through their kitchen calendar to July ‘how about a venue for the ceremony? Do you want to have a ceremony in a nice garden somewhere or do it at your family home or mine?’

‘We can’t do it at mine’ Hannah said ‘it’s all set up for horse activities there’s nowhere practical to hold a wedding ceremony. It’d be too complicated to turn the dressage arena into a space big enough for a marquee. I don’t want it to be anywhere anyone other than the people we invite can see so your place would be better. There’s that huge grassy area next to the swimming pool and in front of the greenhouses that would be perfect for it. We can do what Bill and Fleur did and hire a marquee and charm a spot of grass to turn into a dance floor’

‘Hmm’ Neville mused as the mental image of a huge marquee pitched on the Manor’s back lawn danced in front of his minds eye ‘we could do that and being in Summer we wouldn’t have to worry about anyone freezing their danglies off’

‘Nice to know I’m marrying such a kind, thoughtful and considerate man’ Hannah said with a grin encircling his waist with her arms.

‘Now all we have to do is decide when we should realy start organising things’ Neville said turning around ‘July tenth is six months away but that’ll go by quick’

‘I reckon booking the marquee and catering will have to be the big things we have to do early’ Hannah said ‘venue is no issue and maybe flowers everything else we can leave for two or three months. The guest list is going to be a pain in the bum. I have a huge family and I can’t leave any of them out’

‘We could elope’ Neville said with a laugh ‘somewhere where it never rains. The Caribbean. Or we could go to America and have one of those cheesy muggle style weddings in a drive through chapel by a celebrant that looks like Elvis’

‘No way’ Hannah said ‘Louie, Ginny, Susan and your Gran would hunt us down and kill us if we did that. Plus this is my wedding day I want it to be classy all the way not cheap, fast and nasty’

‘Photos!’ Neville exclaimed suddenly ‘we’re going to have to book someone good for that early too’

‘Oh Merlins pants this is going to take every day of the six months we have left to the actual day to organise isn’t it?’ Hannah said after a moment of silence.

‘I reckon so’ Neville said with a grin.

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The weeks and months went by and by the end of the Hogwarts year after the exams had been completed and the seventh years had been sent off into the big bad world with their certificates. Neville was in his quarters with Professor Sprout moving his things from his current quarters into the ones Professor Sprout was vacating with Hannah’s help when McGonagall arrived looking stressed.

‘Hey Minerva!’ Neville said brightly sending an four drawer filing cabinet into his new quarters with a flick of his wand ‘pull up a pew’

Then as a joke he flourished his wand and conjured an old fashioned church pew

‘Ha ha’ McGonagall said rolling her eyes but sitting down on the chair all the same.

‘Hey Professor!’ Hannah said brightly noticing McGonagall as she exited Neville’s old quarters carrying a dining chair ‘what’s up?’ she added seeing her old professors stressed expression.

‘I have just had four resignation letters placed on my desk’ McGonagall said as Neville conjured a glass and filled it with water from the end of his wand.

‘Really four??’ Neville exclaimed incredulously.

‘Who’s resigned?’ Sprout asked exiting her old quarters.

‘Rosemary Talbot, George Morris, Lois McIntyre and Alistair McEwen’ McGonagall said making a face ‘so now the posts of Transfiguration, Ancient Runes, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Muggle Studies is open’

‘And you were hoping to go away on a holiday!’ Hannah said sympathetically ‘you’ll spend all Summer holidays interviewing candidates now’

‘I know’ McGonagall said dryly ‘I already have a candidate in mind for Transfiguration but have to meet with him. And one for Defence but I don’t like m chances of getting him here’

‘Who do you like for Transfiguration?’ Neville asked ‘Draco Malfoy? I know he filled in a lot for Rosemary last term’

‘He did and he’s the man I have in mind for the job permanently’ McGonagall said ‘he’s an excellent teacher and his students seem to like him’

‘I’ll bet the entire contents of my Gringotts Vault I can guess who you have in mind for the defence job’ Hannah said conjuring a chair and flopping down into it.

‘Harry’ Neville Sprout and Hannah chorused.

‘How did you know?’ McGonagall said in amusement.

‘It’s the obvious choice’ Hannah said ‘and he was in here a lot last term helping out the younger student in the practical lessons and in the careers week he was in here giving talks to the O.W.L and N.E.W.T students about becoming an Auror’

‘I don’t fancy your chances of getting him back to Hogwarts for the D.A.D.A job though’ Neville said ‘Harry’s going along as the director at a great rate of knots’

‘Three arrests last week’ Sprout said leaning against the stone wall ‘that would have to be very satifying for a man who’s made a big point of defending the dark arts since he left Hogwarts’

‘That’s what I thought’ McGonagall said ‘but on my way down here I thought that with a bit of creativity you three might be able to help me devise a plan to at least put the idea of teaching to Harry. I honestly think he’s the best person for the job’

‘I don’t know how much I can do’ Sprout said ‘I’m not a member of the teaching faculty anymore’

‘You wouldn’t have to be’ Neville said thoughtfully ‘Minerva how about having a small social dinner in the staff room with the current teachers and ask Harry at sweets? He might take it as a serious offer if all the teaching staff agree with your idea. Friday night is a good night for Hannah and I. You could even get Ron and Hermione along. Hermione thinks Harry is so good at defensive magic he ought to join the duelling society’

‘Hmm that’s not such a bad idea’ McGonagall said thoughtfully ‘would seven thirty in the staff room be alright for you?’

‘Yeah perfect’

McGonagall got up and vanished the church pew with a flick from her wand.

‘I shall see you Friday night then’ she said brightly.

‘I think we’re in for a job of convincing Harry to take the D.A.D.A job you know’ Hannah said after McGonagall left.

‘Well you can only try I suppose’ Sprout said ‘but I think it might prove easier to do than you might think. Harry is a reasonable fellow. Just don’t harraunge him and you’ll be fine’

Hannah got up with a sigh.
‘Sounds fair enough’ she said ‘c’mon let’s get this stuff done otherwise we’ll still be doing it right up until the wedding’

*****************************************************************************************

‘You know I’m glad I’m only ever going to do this once’ Hannah said to Neville as they readied themselves for dinner at Hogwarts later that week on Friday night ‘organising a wedding is a pain in the arse’

‘Well at least it’s all done now’ Neville said doing up hs shirt ‘all we have to do now is oversee the marquee going up at the Manor next weekend and it’s literally all done. Gran, Algie and Enid can oversee the stuff that need to be done on the day and we can concentrate on actually getting married’

Hannah grinned.
‘And having a really really energetic wedding night’ she said with a giggle ‘I want to start on making babies right away’

‘We could do that now’ Neville said with a laugh lacing up his shoes.

‘Not right now we need to be at Hogwarts in ten minutes’ Hannah said rolling her eyes ‘and you reckon I have the libido fo a nymphomaniac on death row?’

‘Well you have been lately’ Neville said standing up and drawing his wand ‘what was the deal with shagging in the kitchen cool room last night with a disillusionment charm on? Do you know how hard it is to come in silence when Chef is sorting through the onion bin?’

Hannah collapsed in a fit of giggles.
‘But that was fun’ she said holding out a hairbrush they had been using for a portkey recently ‘the thrill of getting caught’

‘Well not that I really minded it was just weird’ Neville said taking the brush ‘let’s go yeah? Portus Hogwarts third floor!

Hannah grasped the brush as it glowed blue and together she and Neville left their apartment. They arrived on the third floor of Hogwarts Castle right in front of the staff room door.

‘You know I’m still surprised by the accuracy of my portkeys even now six years after having a portkey license’ Neville said as he pushed open the staff room door.

‘Well you’ve been creating them for a while now maybe you’ve just gotten the hang of it’ Hannah said spying Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny on the other side of the room ‘c’mon let’s socialise’

*****************************************************************************************

After the meal where the main subject of conversation was the cirruculum of the coming Hogwarts year in particular Neville’s move into the Herbology post there was a lull in conversation where Neville gave McGonagall a meaningful look and an ever so subtle head jerk in Harry’s direction. McGonagall took the hint turned to Harry.

‘Harry as you know at the end of the war Hogwarts finally managed to secure a permanent teacher for the D.A.D.A job but George Morris resigned at the end of term to return to the Ministry and we need a replacement' McGonagall said 'and recently your name was suggested at a staff meeting as that replacement. I've thought about at and I would like to offer you the job of Defence Against The Dark Arts professor'

Harry snorted his Redcurrant Rum up his nose.
‘EXCUSE ME?’ He bellowed wiping his nose of the alcohol that was now dripping from his nostrils.

Harry coughed hard for several moments then turned to McGonagall his face scarlet from the coughing fit.

‘You ARE kidding aren’t you?’ He said taking a great gulp of water ‘me a teacher? You’ve got to be kidding!’

‘Why not?’ Professor McGonagall inquired raising an eyebrow ‘I can’t think of anyone else who would be more suited to the job. You’ve fought against more dark magic than the entire Auror department. You are the HEAD of the Auror department, Your duelling skills are second to none and you do have teaching experience’

‘At what?’ Harry exclaimed ‘Gobstones?’

Ron sniggered.

‘Dumbledore’s Army’

Harry snorted derisively.
‘Minerva that was a rebellious fifth year fun group’ Harry started ‘I only did it because of that bitch Fudge forced on us do defence. That’s hardly teaching’

‘Harry that is a load of bullshit and you know it!’ Hermione burst out.

Neville along with everyone stared at Hermione floored at her burst of uncharacteristic bad language, but she stared them all down defiantly. Ron actually gawped at her his mouth hanging open.

‘Harry you were brilliant in the D.A!’ she continued ‘I don’t think I would have been capable of producing a corporeal Patronus ever but now I can create one! That’s advanced magic even for a mature graduated witch or wizard! And I did that when I was fifteen!…’

‘Yeah but..’

‘I am not finished!’ Hermione cut across him ‘And think about it. Everyone who was in the D.A survived the war and especially the final battle! Seamus floored three Death Eaters with one curse! Ginny took on Bellatrix LeStrange and survived to tell the tale! Dean produced a reductor curse so powerful it destroyed half the Entrance Hall and killed three Death Eaters and there’s you! You vanquished Voldemort! There’s no better Defence teacher out there!’

‘But I’m only twenty three!’

‘Wha’s tha’ got to do with dragon eggs?’ Hagrid said gruffly.

'I'm the exact same age and I'm about to take up a Professorship' Neville added.

‘Age is just a number’ Ginny said sipping at her Firewhiskey in a ladylike manner.

‘You sound like Dumbledore’ Harry said to her in amusement.

‘Harry Hermione’s right’ Neville said ‘You are the best candidate for the job. Minerva has talked to me about it and we think there’s no one else in the Auror department that would be better suited to the defence job than you’

‘Harry I think Neville and Minerva and Hermione are right’ Ron said ‘You are brilliant at defence. If I were a student now I’d want you to teach me you have a wealth of experience no one in the magical community can hope to compete with. And it may sound like something Dumbledore would say but Ginny’s right age is a number. That’s the least relevant factor in this conversation’.

Harry stared around the table at McGonagall, Flitwick, Slughorn, Neville and Hagrid.

‘You really want me to take the job?’ He said sceptically.

‘YES!’ They all chorused.

‘This is a huge decision’ Harry said slowly ‘I can’t say yes right here and now. I’m pissed as an it. Let’s wait til at least I’m sober again’

‘We don’t expect you to make a decision right here and now’ Professor McGonagall said ‘start of term is weeks away’

‘Please consider it Harry’ Neville said ‘It’d be great to have you back in the castle again’

‘Okay I will consider it but please no one rush me’ Harry said taking a deep breath.

‘We won’t mate’ Neville said setting down his empty goblet ‘well everyone we better go it’s a big day at the Leaky tomorrow and we have last minute wedding plans to take care of’

‘See you Minday at the Ministry yeah?’ Harry said shaking his hand.

‘Yep no worries mate see you then’

‘Well that went better than I expected’ Neville said after they left the staff room and started making their way down into the Entrance Hall ‘Harry seemed more open to the idea of being a teacher that I thought he would be. At least he didn’t outrightly dismiss the idea’

‘Yeah I know that surprised me’ Hannah said I think the key is not to rush him. I just hope Minerva had someone else in mind if he says no’

‘She’ll probably take on the classes til she can find someone else’ Neville said ‘but Harry wouldn’t leave it til the last minute befoe giving her a decision he’s not that sort of person to leave her hanging’

‘True’

*****************************************************************************************

A week later on a Friday afternoon Harry met Seamus, Dean, Neville and Ron in the Leaky Cauldron before the final robe fitting for Neville and Hannah’s wedding on the Sunday. Harry was Neville’s Best Man and Ron, Seamus and Dean were his groomsmen. They stayed for a pint where the topic of conversation quickly turned to the bucks night which was to take place later that night and an even Harry and Ron had wholly organised. After the fitting they would be starting the evening of celebrating the last few days of Neville’s bachelorhood. Neville looked very apprehensive as Harry and Ron joined him, Seamus and Dean in a booth at the back of the pub.

‘Why so worried mate? Ron joked ‘Robe fittings aren’t that bad’

‘It’s not the robe fittings I’m worried about’ Neville said eyeing Ron with suspicion ‘I’m worried about what you, Harry, Dean and Seamus are going to do to me’

‘Who said we were going to DO anything to you?’ Seamus with an evil grin ‘You’re too pessimistic Nev. Nah we’re just going out for a night of how did McGonagall say in our dancing lessons before the Triwizard Tournament Yule Ball in our fourth year? ‘Well mannered frivolity’

‘You’re full of leprechaun shit Finnigan’

Seamus laughed.

‘Well you do have the option of us casting a memory charm on you at the end of the night’ Harry said brightly ‘then you won’t remember a second of it’

‘No way Harry I’ve seen the memory charms you do I do want to be more than a blob with a pulse when I walk down the aisle on Sunday Neville said sipping his pint ‘Plus I think Hannah would murder you if you did that’

‘I wouldn’t do that to you Nev’ Harry joked ‘This is me your best bud your school dormitory pal’

‘The person who got me into my first ever detention at school’ Neville countered.

‘Nev that was twelve years ago loosen up!’ Dean said ‘We’re not going to do anything to or with you we wouldn’t expect you to do to or with us on our bucks night. Geez it’s almost like you don’t trust us!’

‘I don’t’ Neville said draining the last of his pint ‘this past week Hannah’s father her uncle and brother in law and even Percy when I had to go and see Kingsley about something have regaled me with tales of their bucks night and I do not want to end up in the middle of Muggle London tied to a bus stop stark bollocking naked and alone covered in honey and feathers and without a wand’

Ron fell about laughing.
‘Oh so Perce told you what Bill, Charlie, George, Harry and I did to him then?’ he snorted.

‘Yes!’ Neville exclaimed ‘you can forget about discounted pints here if you do that to me’

‘Nah we won’t do that mate’ Ron said ‘each bucks night has to be unique if we did the bus stop trick to you again it would be old’

‘And we’re not going to tell you what we’re going to do’ Harry said with an evil grin ‘that would totally ruin the fun of the evening’

‘Fun for who?’ Neville yelped.

‘Take a teaspoon of cement and harden up mate’ Dean said with a grin ‘nothing we do to you tonight will have any lasting damage. We promise’

‘I bloody well hope not’

*****************************************************************************************

The bucks night started six hours later at nine PM up in Neville and Hannah’s apartment with a bottle of Firewhiskey between them.

‘Okay first toast for the night!’ Dean declared after everyone’s shot glass was full ‘to Neville and his last week of bachelorhood. May you live it to the full party hard but not get into any major trouble’

‘TO NEVILLE!’

They all shot their drinks then quickly followed up with three more each.

‘Really that stuff tastes like shit’ Neville said making a face as his fourth shot burned it’s way to his stomach.

‘Nah it’s luffly!’ Ron who was the first in the group to show signs of drunkenss.

‘You’re supposed to savour Firewhiskey like red wine’ Seamus said ‘we should start on house lager and vodka then when we can’t stand up swill some Firewhiskey in a snifter’

‘You guys are going to kill me’ Neville said going to the fridge and taking out five bottles of house lager.

‘Nah we won’t Seamus is just Irish down to the pubes and everyone knows drinking is a religon in Ireland’ Dean said dryly ‘the damage we’ll do to you is nothing compared to what Seamus did to his cousin Fergus’

‘It’s going to be a religon here tonight too’ Harry said with a grin as Neville handed out the beer.

‘So do we have a schedule for tonight or are we just going to go to every wizarding and muggle drinking hole in Britain and get shit faced?’ Neville asked.

‘Harry and I haven’t made solid plans but there is a strip club in Muggle London we plan on taking you to’ Ron said.

‘Yeah it’s called the Spearmint Rhino’ Harry said ‘I saw it in Chelsea when Mack and I were doing some survalliance a few weeks ago. It’s just opened up. All neon light tubes booze and girls with sequined nipple tassles’

Seamus and Dean snorted loudly.

‘Oh that’ll make the night just perfect it will’ Neville said dryly ‘nipple tassles is exactly what I hope to get out of tonight’

‘Well let’s down this and head on over to Chelsea then’ Dean said lifting up his bottle ‘boys this is a bucks night and we are going to have fun’

An hour later Neville, Harry, Ron, Seamus and Dean arrived at the Spearmint Rhino. They were let in by the burly bouncer and headed straight for the bar. Waitresses wearing nothing more than sequined bowties and the breifest of g-strings wandered around carrying trays of drinks taking orders from the men grouped around the tables dotted around the room. Loud muggle style doof doof music was blaring from the state of the art sound system and on stage a tall thin woman dressed as a naughty schoolgirl was twisting and gyrating against a brass pole.

‘Bloody hell look at the boobs on that bird!’ Seamus exclaimed pointing to the woman on stage ‘they can’t be real. Real boobs aren’t that round. Lav’s aren’t like that’

‘Yeah well she has real one’s doesn’t she?’ Dean countered.

‘What’ll it be boys?’ the barmaid who was equally as well endowed in the boob department yelled over the music.

‘Vodka neat’ Harry said.

‘Your best Irish Whiskey on the rocks’ said Seamus.

‘Screaming Orgasm’ Dean said with a snigger.

‘Excuse me?’ Ron exclaimed ‘what the hell is that?’

‘Haven’t you given Hermione one of those mate?’ Harry said with a laugh.

‘Oh fuck off Harry’

‘Make it two’ Dean said ‘give him a taste sensation’

‘I’ll have some absinthe’ Neville said ‘neat’

‘That stuff is revolting’ Harry said making a face ‘Hermione gave me a bottle for my twenty first and I’ve only ever had one shot out of it. She drinks more of it than I do’

The boys collected their drinks then made their way down to a table on the edge of the stage. The naughty schoolgirl pole dancer was now down to her tie and black sequined bra and currently gyrating her bum in the face of a leering man who reached up and tucked a twenty pound note in her suspender belt.

‘Do you think any wizarding strippers would dare use their Hogwarts uniform for that sort of act?’ Ron wondered as the pole dancer gave the man suggestive wink and returned to her dancing.

‘Probably but none of the girls we know would’ Neville said ‘not in public anyway’

‘You know this could be a research mission’ Harry said to Ron and Neville.

‘How?’ they chorused.

‘Well we can watch the girls here and take home any ideas we like and ask the girls if they would do them for us behind closed doors. I have to say I fancy the idea of Gin...’

‘STOP!’ Ron bellowed ‘I do not want to think of you and my sister getting jiggy with it’

‘Why not? We get jiggy with it every night’ Harry said collapsing in a fit of alcohol induced giggles ‘and everyone in the house knows you nail Hermione like a carpenter in the times you forget to silence your room’

‘I should make that spell permanent’ Ron muttered his face glowing a bright scarlet as all around him his friends snorted.

‘Glad you’re going to be at the other end of the Manor when we move there’ Harry said ‘don’t think I could handle hearing you bellow ‘oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah Ooooh ‘Mione I’m gonna cum’ again’

By now Dean, Seamus and even Neville who was rather lightheaded from his consumption of alcohol were in hysterics. The pole dancer noticed their hilarity and sashayed over.

‘Hey luv it’s Neville’s stag night show him a good time yeah?’ Harry said with a snigger tucking a fifty pound note in her suspender belt.

‘Oh Harry....n-no...’ Neville protested weakly as the pole dancer jumped down off the stage and whipped off her tie looping it around his neck and yanking it forward so Neville’s face was forced into her cleavage.

Harry, Ron, Seamus and Dean howled with laughter as the stripper in nothing but her suspender belt and sequined g-string began to gyrate and bump and grind against Neville coming close but not quite touching him. The others slipped a note into her belt all four of them receiving a dance in turn but almost hyperventilating from the effort of laughing so hard.

At the end of it all the dancer gave the group a lacivious wink and an air kiss to Neville before shaying back onto the stage.

‘Merlins saggy left nutsack Neville you should’ve seen your face!’ Ron wheezed still recovering fom the last few minutes ‘your expression was priceless!’

‘I th-thought you were g-going to h-have a heart attack!’ Seamus sniggered taking a fortifying swig of Whiskey.

‘I could kill you guys she wasn’t exactly backward in coming forward was she?’ Neville said finishing off his third Absinthe ‘bloody hell when she shoved her chest in my face I thought I was going to suffocate’

‘Well there’s more where that came from’ Dean said cheerfully leaving his seat ‘this round is on me the same again for you lot?’

*****************************************************************************************

For the next four hours Neville being led along by Harry, Ron, Dean and Seamus apparated, portkeyed, flooed and Knight Bussed all over Enlgnad getting progressively drunker and drunker. They travelled through dozens of muggle and wizarding clubs and pubs and taking part in a karaoke competition at the Three Broomsticks and at one point they went skinny dipping off the Blackpool Pier where if it wasn’t for Seamus’s amazingly quick thinking they would’ve been arrested by the local Muggle police. After clumsily disapparating back into muggle London they stumbled down Charing Cross Road totally paralytic and loudly singing ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ By this time Neville had all his clothes hexed off him and was now getting around in nothing more than a very breif leopard skin loin cloth and a black leather studded dog collar

‘Ah h-hicere we go’ Ron hiccuped stumbling ahead of them several meters.

‘RON I AM NOT GOING INTO A GAY BAR! Neville bellowed as they passed a large neon sign flashing ‘Gay Abandon’ under which a long line of obviously gay men and women were waiting to get in.

‘We’re not going in there you idiot, shut up and come on!’ Ron hissed beckoning Neville and the others forward. He led them over a pedestrian crossing and turned sharply left entering a large brightly lit tattoo parlour with a huge sign over the front counter that read ‘Tattoo You’

‘Fuuuck oooorf I am NOT getting a tattoo!’ Neville who was having issues standing up slurred ‘Hannah will murder me!’

‘Who gives a sch-it what Hannah think-sch mate!’ Ron said pulling Neville inside ‘I don’t give a sch-it what Hermione think-sch!’

‘You’re not about to get married!’ Neville whined ‘And what are we doing in a muggle tattoo parlor?’

‘Neville shut up Harry hissed.

‘C’mon Neville you’ve had fun so far let-csh continue this on a bit’ Dean said ‘I fancy getting myself a tattoo. I brought a design with me’

‘You KNEW we were coming here?’ Neville exclaimed.

‘Yeah didn’t you?’ Ron said with a snort ‘c’mon Nev we’re not asking you to get a dragon on your back. Just something small. Like a snit-sch or somethng’

‘Would the bloke know what a snit-sch looks like?’ Neville hissed to Harry as they made a pretence of looking through a folder of tattoo designs ‘I sooo cannot believe I am doing thisch!’

‘So you’re going to get one? Harry said with a grin.

‘Yeah why not? You only live once’

‘That’s the spirit Nev they do body piercing too’ Harry added pointing to a nearby sign listing the various types of body piercing.

There was silence for a few seconds as Neville read the sign

‘They put bits of metal through your cock?’ He exclaimed is disbelief ‘geez the things muggle-sch do’

‘I’ll get it done if you do’ Harry said with a laugh under his breath ‘I dare ya. Apparently it hurt-sch but you can casht a painkilling charm on yourself or take some painkilling potion when you get home. Ginny has load-sch back at the Burrow’

‘Harry I am not putting a piece of metal through my cock!’ Neville said drunkenly ‘I am getting married in seven day-sch! Hannah is going to notice-sch I have an addition to my wang eventually!’

‘It’s put there to make sex-sch better you know’ Seamus said to them.

‘How the hell do y’know that?’ Neville said in surprise.

‘Mate my Dad’s a muggle he’s told me all about it’ Seamus said ‘go on get it done give Hannah a real thrill’

Ron, Harry, and Dean fell about laughing.

‘Can I ‘elp you lads? A heavily tattooed thickset man wearing leather pants and a ‘Tattoo You’ polo shirt asked them.

‘Yeah I’ll go first’ Harry said ‘I want to get a Prince Albert and this tattoed on my left shoulder’

Harry handed the man a sheet of parchment with a design of a Golden Snitch with its wings spread.

‘Right y’are follow me we’ll get your piercing done first you lads right for the moment?’ The man said to Seamus, Dean, Ron and Neville.

‘Yeah we’ll order another four Prince Alberts!’ Seamus said with a grin ‘bucks night’ he explained.

‘Ah a lads night out eh? Who’s the lucky man?’

‘Nev here’ Ron said elbowing Neville in the side ‘Sunday afternoon’

The man grinned.
‘Congratulations matey’ He said ‘because you’re getting married we’ll swing ya a twenty percent discount'

‘Er thanksch’ Neville said as the man walked away 'Your generosity knows no bounds' He added in a whisper that made Seamus snort with laughter.

*****************************************************************************************

Two hours later. Ron, Harry, Neville, Seamus and Dean left ‘Tattoo You’ and headed up Charing Cross Road.

‘I can’t believe I did that’ Neville slurred ‘I can’t believe I did that. I got a fugging ring thorugh my cock ohmigod!’

‘Well the tattoo parlour was Harry’s idea for the night. Seamus’s was the Spearmint Rhino now it’s time to get pissed back at the Leaky Cauldron! Dean’s part of the night’ Ron said with a girlish giggle.

‘Ron I am already pisched!’ Neville moaned ‘in fact I am the walking comatose! We all are! If I drink any more I will passch out and end up in St Mungo-sch!’

‘Lets try that theory out shall we?’ Ron said pulling Neville down a side alley where the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron was ‘first drink’s on me’

The group stumbled into the Leaky Cauldron took a private booth and ordered a bottle of Firewhiskey between them. Despite his earlier declariation of being nearly comatose under the urging of Ron, Harry, Dean and Seamus Neville grabbed the bottle and sucked on it like a lollipop the whole bottle gone within a minute.

‘Fuckin’ e’ll Neville you’ll ‘ave a job of getting’ ‘ome after tha’ Seamus slurred staring at Neville incredulously.

‘I feel like doing something reckless-sch!’ Neville declared suddenly sitting up.

‘Like what? Ron sniggered.

‘Streaking!’

Harry gawped at Neville.
‘You streak?’ He exclaimed incredulously ‘Neville you’re rancid and having issues putting one foot in front of the other at a walk!’ How the hell are you going to run?’

‘Watch me’

Neville waved his wand and his loincloth and dog collar disappeared he then leapt out of the booth held his arms above his head as to catch the attention of everyone in the bar then took off through the main bar and out the door. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Harry, Ron, Seamus and Dean roaring with laughter take off after him and follow him outside into Diagon Alley where he proceeded to gallop past Flourish And Blotts in a drunken stumble. Before he reached the Daily Prophet offices he heard Harry’s voice over his shoulder cry ‘Occulto in extraho fimus!’(According to an English to Latin translator this means ‘Cover In Dragon Manure’).

Suddenly appearing out of nowhere great clods of dragon shit appeared and stuck to Neville’s skin but that didn’t stop his progress down Diagon Alley. He thundered past the Daily Prophet offices, Madam Malkin’s and Scrivenshafts and then did a spectacular cartwheel over a table in front of Florean Fortescue’s ice cream parlor. He then regained his less than steady footing and took off again in a drunken run toward Knockturn Alley.

Neville lost sight of his friends after thunderng past Scrivenshafts but they caught him right down near the apparition point just past 'Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes'. Harry pulled out his wand and transfigured a nearby pebble into a cloak.

‘Here put this on’ He said hurridley pushing the garment at Neville.

‘Harry I can’t believe you got Neville with the Dragon Dung Hex!’ Ron exclaimed staring at Harry incredulously.

‘I can’t believe you did e-hicther’ Neville slurred.

‘I told Hermione last week I would’ Harry said with a gleeful snort.

'Neville Longbottom I can’t believe you sch-treaked down Diagon Alley!’ Dean rushed clutching at a stitch in his side ‘do you remember cartwheeling over a table in front of Fortescues? I’ve never seen you hop on one foot let alone cartwheel like a gymnast!’

Neville grinned then suddenly he felt faint and everything went black.

The next thing he recalled through his alcohol induced haze were his friends and George Weasley and Angelina Johnson standing over him. Somehow he had been put in a hospital gurney and taken somewhere else other than Diagon Alley.

He slowly sat sat up with Harry and George’s help. That small movement caused a wave of nausea to wash over him, he leaned sideways then vomited spectacularly over the edge of the stretcher splattering the coffee table and causing Ron and Harry to leap out of their chairs to avoid being covered in vomit.

‘Awww yuuuuuvk Neville that’s groooooos!’ Seamus groaned.

George pointed his wand at the mess and muttered ‘Evanesco’ the vomit and its smell instantly disappeared. Neville laid back down and wrapped himself in the cloak Harry transfigured.

‘OhmigoooodwhatdidIdo?’ he moaned.

‘Really want to know?’ Harry said with a grin ‘How d’you feel?’

‘Like a Hipogriff danced on my head’

Angelina and George snorted.

'Angelina, George what are you doing here?' Neville slurred getting off the stretcher and slumping into the chair which had been Harry’s minutes before. He hadn’t yet noticed he was still covered head to tail in Dragon manure.

‘Mate you’re in our shop’ George said going to the kitchen and bringing out another bottle of hangover potion ‘Harry and Ron dragged you to the shop front. I put you on the stretcher and you’ve woken up here’

‘Do you really want to know what you did?’ Dean asked grinning evilly.

‘Yeah go on!’ Neville said closing his eyes as if to steel for a bombshell ‘but first Harry can you please get this shit off me?!’

Harry pointed his wand at Neville and muttered ‘Finite Incantatem’ and the dragon manure instantly vanished.

‘You stripped off in the middle of the Leaky Cauldron and streaked down the entire length of Diagon Alley’ Harry said ‘in the process cartwheeling over a table in front of Fortescue’s and passing out right on top of the apparition point. That’s when Ron and I dragged you here. I had to transfigure a pebble into a cloak to give you some modesty’

Neville groaned loudly as everyone else fell about laughing.

‘Oh and we all got out cocks peirced’ Seamus chipped in ‘and you got a tattoo of a Chinese Fireball dragon on your back’

‘Hannah's going to kill me!’

‘Nah she’ll be alright mate’ George said giving Neville another glass of potion ‘Here drink this. It’ll make you feel better’

Neville took the glass and drained the contents in one gulp.
‘Thanks guys’ He said gratefully putting the glass on the coffee table.

‘No worries’ George replied ‘I hope you lot aren’t going to do the same to me on my bucks night next week’

‘I’m not going to do anything I’ll be on my honeymoon’ Neville said running his face with both hands.

‘Hey I should reiterate we didn’t make Nev do anything!’ Ron exclaimed ‘not once did we but the full body bind on him and force feed him alcohol!’

‘I have to admit that no you didn’t’ Neville said ‘did anyone see me streak?’

‘Yeah everyone in the Leaky Cauldron front bar and all the pedestrians walking down Diagon Alley when you cartwheeled the table at Fortesue’s’ Harry said ‘But you did it so fast I don’t think anyone recognized you’

‘Thank Merlin for that’

‘Do you lot want to crash here? George asked ‘none of you look in any condition to do any more partying. And you’re sure as hell not in any condition to apparate or floo anywhere’

‘That may be a good idea’ Ron said ‘can I have some more potion? I feel shithouse. And if I go home half cut Mum’ll kill me’

‘Aww is ickle Ronniekins scared of what Mumsy wumsy will do with her big bad wooden spoonie?’ George teased ‘since when do you give a shit about what Mum thinks?’

‘Oh sod off you big git you don’t live at home any more you don’t have to put up with her blasting you’ Ron said taking the flask of potion.

‘Ron you’re twenty four years old when are you going to move out of home?' George said waving his wand on one big sweeping movement so five sleeping bags on five blow up mattresses appeared on the floor.

‘I don’t wanna leave home yet’ Ron said pulling off his cloak and dumping it on the lounge ‘I like my situation like it is thank you very much’

‘I’m going to see about setting myself up at Godric’s Hollow you can move I with me if you like’ Harry said discarding his cloak on top of Ron’s ‘There are laods of rooms there. Pick one’

‘There you go you and Harry can wreak havoc there’ George said placing the hangover potion on the coffee table.

Ron climbed into his sleeping bag.
‘Aww but what about ‘Mione?’ He moaned.

‘Awww ickle Ronniekins wuvs his ‘Mione wione!’ George teased.

'Fuck off George or I will hex you so bad you and Angelina won’t be able to have kids!’ Ron threatened.

‘Ron you are pissed as an ant!’ Angelina said with a laugh ‘You couldn’t levitate a feather at the moment’

‘Sod off Ange’

Soon Neville, Seamus, Dean Harry and Ron were soon ensconsed in their sleeping bags and within minutes they were all sound asleep.

*****************************************************************************************

Neville awoke several hours later to a loud snapping noise.

‘Bloody ‘ell Harry what was that for?’ Dean groaned from next to him ‘Oooooohmy heaaaad’

‘Afternoon lads’ Angelina said brightly.

‘Afternoon? What time is it?’ Neville groaned sitting up.

‘Now ten past four’ Angelina said ‘here’s some coffee to help you guys wake up and I’d take some hangover potion if I were you but we’re nearly out. George’s downstairs making some more because you lot have nearly gone through ours’

‘Then why do we still feel awful?’ Ron groaned.

‘Because you pissed your way through the wizarding world’s entire Firewhiskey supply and you have to drink a lot of hangover potion to feel normal again’ Angelina said ‘I’m going downstairs to the shop help yourselves to some grub. There’s some leftover chocolate cake and some ham and cheese sandwiches on the sideboard if you feel up to eating and the loo is down the hall if you fancy spewing in that instead of on the coffee table’

‘Ha ha Angelina ta’ Neville said making a face.

Within half an hour Dean, Seamus, Neville, Harry and Ron were sitting at the dining table eating the sandwiches and drinking lemonade.

‘I’m not doing that again for a while’ Dean said resting his head in hands ‘my head feels like a herd of Centaurs has galloped on it and I need to shave!’

‘We all do’ Harry said 'Bloody hell we've still got George's stag nights to go too. I’m not sure my constitution is going to survive that much alcohol consumption'

‘That’s a month away’ Seamus said.

‘Reckon you three could handle something similar to this for George’s stag night?' Ron asked Neville, Dean and Seamus. ‘You’re all invited. Bill, Charlie and I are organizing it’

‘What Percy isn’t contributing to the festivities?’ Harry said with a laugh.

‘No way you know Perce is such a stuffshirt his idea of a good night out is a game of chess and a civilized chat about cauldron bottoms’ Ron said rolling his eyes ‘he shit himself on his stag night when George and Charlie stripped him naked put in him in the full body bind covered him in honey and feathers and tied him to a bus stop in muggle London. Even his colleagues from Kingsley's office thought it was funny’

‘I remember that’ Harry said with a laugh ‘no wonder you didn’t include him in the plans for George’s stag night'

‘If we have to we’ll tie him up again’ Ron said taking a swig of hangover potion ‘Bill said he’d do everything to Perce as he’d do to George if he didn’t go along with everything’

Seamus snorted.

‘That’s mean’ He said with a grin leaning back in his chair and stretching luxurious ‘but funny’

‘Like what you did to me’ Neville said with a grin.

‘Yeah sorta’

Twenty minutes later George came upstairs carrying an enourmous bottle of purple liquid which Neville figured was more hangover potion.

‘How are you lot feeling? He asked ‘suffering in your boots?’

‘Sod off George you big git’ Ron said ‘we’re going soon if you must know’

‘Great you can eat Mum and Dad out of house and home instead of us’ George said putting the bottle of potion on the kitchen bench ‘Hang on…you already do’

‘Fuck off’

‘Ooh original’

A few minutes later Dean got to his feet.

‘Well I better be off’ He said ‘thanks for putting me up Angelina, George’

‘No worries mate anytime come for a visit again when you’re sober eh?’ George joked shaking Dean’s hand.

‘Will do catch ya later guys’ Dean said to Harry, Ron, Seamus and Neville ‘see you all during the week’

‘Here take this with you’ Angelina said giving Dean a bottle of hangover potion ‘You’ll need it I think’

‘Ta’

Dean pocketed the potion and with a crack he disapparated.

‘Well I think that’s my cue to shoot off to’ Seamus said standing up and putting his cloak on ‘I’m going home having a shower then dying’

Angelina levitated a bottle of hangover potion to him.

‘No one’s leaving here with out some Hangover Potion’ She said.

‘Thanks bye’

And like Dean Seamus disapparated with a crack.

‘Well just the terrible trio remain’ George said filling three more bottles with hangover potion.

‘I’m not going to risk apparating’ Neville said pocketing the bottle George levitated over to him ‘mind if I floo?’

‘Nah go ahead’ George said ‘Look after yourself won’t ya?’

‘Yeah will do’

Angelina, George, Harry and Ron followed Neville into the loungeroom.

‘Okay Neville no going out on any more all night benders now’ Angelina said holding out the pot of floo powder.

‘Oh ha ha veery funny’ Neville said grabbing a handful of powder ‘The Leaky Cauldron!’

Green flames erupted around Neville and he was swept up in them and taken through the dark nothingess back to he and Hannah’s apartment above the Leaky Cauldron. There he had a hot shower and a shave and went right back to bed.

In a week he and Hannah were to be married and after all this time it couldn’t come fast enough.