Closer

WARNING :
I would like to warn that there is mention of drug use in this chapter. If you don't wanna hear about drug use don't read this.
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Hermione Granger yawned as she opened her eyes. Slowly the world around her came went from being blurry to clear. She stretched her arms around and let out another yawn. She was surprised to find she didn't accidentally bump Severus.

She was alone in bed.

The notice of this simple fact caused her to blink a couple of times in confusion. Where was Severus? She wondered.

"Perhaps he is already awake," she whispered to herself.

The young witch slipped out of bed and into Severus' sitting room. The room was still and quiet. There was no sign that he had been there. She walked back into the bedroom and pulled on a pair of muggle jeans and a sweater.

She was determined to find out where he was and she would be crazy to walk around the dungeons in just her nightgown. It was always so cold down there.

Hermione walked the short distance to Severus' classroom and opened the door. The classroom sat empty and quiet. She let out a frustrated sigh and looked down at her watch.

Breakfast didn't start for half an hour. There was no way he would already be headed up there. He never went up early. Something fishy was going on. Hermione could feel it.

She made the walk up to the ground levels of the castles. Someone was bound to know where the ex-death eater was. Maybe he had been called off this morning. It seemed unlikely but it was possible.

When she reached the hallway upstairs she didn't run into any students. It was still early for them to be awake and roaming the hallways. She quickly walked to the Great Hall.

She was relived to see there were other teachers in the Great Hall. Filius, Minerva, and Sibyll were sitting at the table talking. Hermione walked over and stood near them.

"Excuse me," she said breaking up their conversation. "Have any of you seen Severus?"

"No I haven't," Filius said looking up at her. "Is he missing?"

"Yes," Hermione said her voice starting to shake. "I haven't seen him since last night. When was the last time you guys saw him?"

"I saw him late last night," Sibyll explained. "He was over by the lake. He was acting funny."

"Funny?" Minerva asked in a worried voice. "What do you mean funny?"

"He was acting very strange and lost," she explained. "I think he was second guessing his relationship with you."

"What?" Hermione half shouted. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I made him promise not to make any quick decisions," her fellow teacher said.

Hermione was ready to strangle her. She lunged for her. Minerva quickly jumped up and grabbed her.

"Hermione!" Minerva said holding her back. "Calm down love."

Filius and Sibyll both jumped a little in surprise. Neither of them had seen Hermione nearly lose it like that. Minerva started leading her out of the Great Hall. She didn't let go of her until they were in the hallway.

"Calm down," she said once again. "Don't blame her for this."

"This can't be happening," Hermione said leaning against the wall. "We were doing so good."

"He'll be back," Minerva promised. "It isn't like Severus to run from something. He'll be back. Perhaps he just needed a little air. This is a big change for him too."

Even though Hermione knew Minerva was right she couldn't stop her eyes from filling with tears. It wasn't fair for Severus to run away.

"I can't raise these babies alone," she said letting a few tears slip out.

"You're not going to darling," Minerva said putting an arm around her. "It's going to be alright. Come on. I don't need your help today. You need to rest. All this stress is bad for the babies."

Hermione couldn't help but cry. She should have known things were going too perfect. Severus had ran and she was all alone.

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Severus had planned in his head to go to Russia. He had an aunt who lived there and she would take him in. He barely made it to London.

At one in the morning he found himself wondering the dark and dangerous streets of London. The large city was no place to be wondering around at night. He wasn't scared of being alone in the dark. He wasn't afraid of much.

He was debating what to do. He felt bad about running. He felt bad for Hermione. He felt bad for the babies. He didn't want to feel the sadness this whole thing was causing him.

If he ran he would have to deal with the guilt for the rest of his life. If he went back he would be ruining Hermione's life.

"Dammit!" he cursed shoving his hands into his jeans.

He was surprised to find his wallet in his pocket. He didn't normally carry his muggle wallet on him. Oh yes. These were his only pair of muggle jeans. He had pulled them on because Hermione insisted he looked good in them.

Severus pulled out of his wallet and looked at the contents. There was a small wad of money and his ATM card. During the year before Albus' death he had transfered a lot of his money to a muggle bank account. He was afraid that the wizarding world would freeze his back account if he had to kill Albus.

He had money. That meant he had money to buy a way to forget his problem.

During the war he had turned to drugs a couple of times to get through the pain. He knew charms that would keep him from getting addicted so it was no big deal.

He could go to Mike's place, get a little to get him by, and think it over in the morning. He had sworn off drugs when the war ended but a little here and there wasn't going to hurt him.

Severus made up his mind as he slipped his wallet back into his pocket. He didn't really have a choice. He just couldn't deal with the pain. He started walking into the direction of an old friend's house.

As he started to take that long and sad walk all he was could think was 'I'm all alone'.