Meant to Be

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Chapter Sixteen



They next day, Remus turned up early, having overestimated the time it would take to get ready. Teddy had behaved, for a change, and cooperated - keeping his clothes on despite his new found fascination with what lay under his nappy, and eating his breakfast without throwing it across the room. It was almost as if he knew this was an important day for his father. As he walked over to his desk to throw down his coat, he whispered to his son, begging him to behave today.



Teddy was very high spirited and full of energy, like his mother. And, like every toddler, he wanted to get his own way all of the time, Remus the first to admit that his son had been slightly spoilt by well wishing friends who tried to give him extra attention to make up for the fact he didn’t have his mother. But he could be shy around strangers, clinging to familiar people - he‘d gotten that wariness from his father. Remus was worried about how he would be in the nursery with an unknown carer. But he had to work, so Teddy was going to have to adapt as well.



‘Hi! Remus, wasn’t it?’ said Martha as she walked over to her desk. He nodded and she noticed Teddy, who‘s hair turned dark at the sight of the unfamiliar person. ‘And is this your son? Oh, he’s gorgeous. Is he a Metamorphmagus?’

Remus mumbled an affirmation and Martha tickled Teddy under the chin, the little boy burying his face in his father‘s chest.

‘He can be a bit shy around people he doesn’t know,’ Remus explained and Martha nodded.

‘My grandson is the same,’ she confided. She walked over to her desk and put her files down.



‘Jessica told me you’d be bringing your son in today,’ she said. ‘She said to tell her when you arrived so she could take you up to the nursery.’

Martha indicated Jess’ office and smiled back at him. ‘We didn’t expect you so early, but Jessica’s already here. You can go in if you like. I’m sure she won’t mind.’

Remus thanked her and he walked over and tapped on Jess’ partially opened door.

‘Come in,’ she called, looking up as he came into the room.

‘Good morning,’ he said, suddenly uncertain about her meeting Teddy.

He wanted this first meeting to go well; he really wanted Jess to like Teddy and for his son to like her. He and Teddy came as a package now. If he and Jess didn’t get along, Remus couldn’t even consider asking her to be a part of his life again. And he really wanted her to be in his life again.



Jess’ eyes shifted from his face to Teddy, a strange expression flickering on her face. It was gone quickly and she stood up and gave him a smile.

‘Morning,’ she said quietly, moving around the desk to stand in front of them. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘A bit nervous actually,’ he admitted with a smile. Jess’ smile widened reassuringly, but her eyes shifted back to Teddy.

‘You’ll be fine,’ she assured him. Remus also looked at Teddy, who was looking at Jess curiously.

‘And this is Teddy,’ Jess said softly. She moved a little closer and she and Teddy looked at each other.



‘Nice to meet you Teddy,’ she said quietly, holding out a finger to him. ’I’m Jess.’

To Remus’ enormous surprise, Teddy took her finger, holding it for a moment before he reached out with both arms to her, trying to launch himself out of his father’s grip.

Remus chuckled and Jess laughed.

‘He’s very outgoing,’ she commented but Remus shook his head.

‘No,’ he said, perplexed by Teddy‘s reaction. ‘No, he’s not. Not usually. He takes ages to warm up to strangers.’

He hissed in pain as Teddy kicked him in the ribs, trying to get to Jess, chattering unintelligibly.



‘I…I could take him,’ she said, unsure if she should offer. ‘If you don’t mind. It’ll save you from a broken rib.’

Remus laughed and held Teddy out to her, transferring his son to her arms. Teddy immediately stopped fidgeting and stared at Jess, reaching out to touch her hair.

‘He’ll rip it out,’ Remus warned and Jess smiled.

‘I’ll take my chances,’ she said, looking closely at the little boy. ‘He looks very much like you, Remus. How old is he?’

‘Fifteen months,’ Remus answered, taken aback by how gentle Teddy was being. He was stroking Jess’ hair carefully, not yanking on it as he usually did. ‘He’s not usually like this. No one I know wears their hair down around him; they learn after the first handful is ripped out.’

‘He‘s telling fibs about you, Teddy. You’ve got a gentle touch, haven’t you?’ she said, smiling at Teddy. ‘Just like your dad.’



As a surge of desire slammed into him, she seemed to realise what she’d said and looked up at Remus with wide eyes.

‘Sorry,’ she said but he shook his head.

‘It’s fine, Jess,’ he told her, the strength of his reaction to her words shaking him. ‘I do remember that I enjoyed touching you very much like he is now.’

He saw her swallow hard and her lips trembled before she turned to Teddy, whose own hair was now a bright blue. She didn’t know if it was such a good idea to spend any more time than necessary with Remus, not when it was so very obvious that their connection, and attraction, to each other was as strong as ever.

‘I’ll get Martha to take you up to the nursery,’ she said, holding Teddy back out to Remus. But he didn’t want to go, clinging to Jess, who looked uncertain of what she should do.

‘He likes you,’ Remus said, thrilled that Teddy had taken to Jess so quickly. ‘Just like his dad.’



Jess turned back to him, trying to hide her smile. She gave in when she saw Remus’ smile, cursing herself as she did.

‘Let’s introduce him to the child carers,’ she said, and they made their way to the nursery, Teddy reluctantly letting go of Jess when Remus coerced him with a truck. He settled quickly, Remus having more trouble leaving.

‘They’ll come and get you if he gets upset,’ Jess said softly, laying a hand on his arm. Heat shot through him and he turned to her.

‘Yeah,’ he said, following her out of the room. ‘I’m just not used to being away from him.’

They took the stairs down the two floors to their Department. ‘He seems like a lovely little boy. It must have been hard, raising him by yourself,’ she said, trying not to notice his arm brushing against hers.

‘I’ve got a lot of support,’ he replied, then stopped her as they reached their floor.



‘Jess,’ he said softly, taking her arm gently. ‘I need to say this. You were right back then. I couldn’t bring myself to trust you because the last person I trusted let me down; betrayed me. You deserved better, and I’ve spent every day of the last five years regretting my stupidity.’

Jess’ lip shook as she looked at him. ‘I can’t do this with you,’ she said in a low voice. ‘It’s too complicated right now, and this really isn’t the time or the place.’

‘Jess, please,’ he said. ‘I know you’re my boss and that this is difficult but I need you to know how sorry I am hurt you.’



She took a deep breath then looked up at him, her eyes sad and her voice shaky.

‘I was right, you know,‘ she said. ‘You were damn hard to get over. But until I saw you yesterday, I really did think I’d managed to finally do it. Boy, was I wrong.’ She sighed audibly.

‘I knew you were the best person for this job, but I didn’t know if I should put your name forward,’ she said, looking down at the floor. ‘I didn’t know if I could be close to you again. I was almost hoping Kingsley would reject the idea that we needed a full time support person. I think this may have been a very big mistake.’

His hand ran lightly up her arm to her shoulder as he said, ‘Jess, I….’ before the sound of footsteps interrupted him.



A man trudged up the stairs, looking startled to see them there. When he had passed, Jess looked up at Remus.

‘We do need to talk about how we are going to do this,’ she said, back in ‘boss’ mode. ‘But not now. Now, you need to start work.’ She opened the door, but he stopped it opening fully.

‘Come to my place tonight,’ he whispered, his mouth close to her ear. ‘We could have something to eat, then we can talk about all of this.’



He could smell her perfume; the same as she used to wear, and it was all he could do to not press his face into the spot on her neck where he knew the scent would be strongest.

Jess felt her body responding to his nearness, goose bumps breaking out over her skin. ‘That’s not really appropriate,’ she said and he chuckled.

‘Since when do we worry about that?’ he asked and Jess couldn’t help smiling.

‘I’ll think about it, ok,’ she said, then pushed open the door, walking over to her office quickly.



Jess was busy for most of the day with head of department meetings and catching up on some paper work. Remus didn’t see her again until she appeared at his desk late in the afternoon, smiling at him.

‘How was your first day?’ she said, leaning against his desk.

Remus leant back in his chair grinning, ridiculously pleased to see her.

‘Fine,’ he said. He indicated the files on his desk. ‘I’ve read through the cases and I’d like to arrange a couple of visits tomorrow. Will you come with me for the first ones? To tell me if I’m doing everything properly?’

Jess nodded and said, ‘Of course I will. I wouldn’t throw you in the deep end.’

She stood up and stretched slightly. ‘How’s Teddy?’ she asked with a smile. ‘Is he coping?’

Remus smiled and nodded. He’d gone up there at lunch time to check on him. ‘He’s loving it,’ he confirmed. ‘He’s having a great time with the other kids.’

Jess smiled and turned. ‘Good. I’m glad he’s enjoying himself,’ she said.



He watched her as she walked back to her office, his eyes falling to her ass. His breath escaped him in one short sharp blast as memories of how that ass had felt in his hands came flooding back. Groaning under his breath, he turned back to the last file, reading through it quickly when he saw it was nearly time to pick Teddy up. He packed up then paused before he left, looking over at Jess’ office. Feeling slightly guilty about using his son in the way he was about to, he left to pick up a mutinous Teddy, who fought him as he walked downstairs.

‘DaDa!’ he said, frustrated. Remus understood he wanted to walk and as soon as he was off the stairs, he put him on the ground, letting him totter unsteadily through the desks.



‘Do you want to see Jess?’ Remus asked, and Teddy stopped, looking up at him. Remus crouched down next to him.

‘You do, don’t you?’ he said, smiling at his son. ‘You want to go and see Jess?’

‘Sss,’ was his son’s reply and Remus grinned.

‘Come on then,’ he said, guiding the toddler to Jess’ office. He knocked lightly on the slightly open door, but Teddy had no such hesitation, pushing it open and walking straight into the room. Jess looked up, smiling when she saw Teddy, who’s brown hair turned blue when he saw her.



‘Hello,’ she said, looking up at Remus quickly then back to Teddy, who ran around the desk and tried to climb up her legs.

‘Hello Teddy,’ she said, smiling down at the boy who was frantically trying to get up into her lap. She automatically lifted him up, then looked up at Remus.

‘Is it ok if I pick him up?’ she asked, relieved when he nodded, moving around the desk to crouch beside her chair.

‘He really has taken to you,’ Remus said, seeing Teddy stand on Jess’ lap and put his arms around her neck.



His chest tightened when he saw her holding his son, and he realised that, despite the fact he’d met and loved Tonks, Jess had always held a big part of his heart, and seeing her again made him realise how very much he had missed her. And how much he wanted her back in his life.

‘Have you thought about what I asked? Will you come to our place for dinner?’ he asked now. Jess looked over at him, and he could see uncertainty in her face.

‘I don’t think I should…,’ she began but he interrupted her.

‘I don’t know how I’m going to get Teddy home without you,’ he said, blatantly manipulating her. ‘You’d be doing me a big favour.’

When she still looked hesitant, he went for the big one. ‘Please, Jess? You don’t want to upset him…’



Jess laughed at him and shook her head, recognising the tactic for what it was but stood up anyway.

‘It’s sad I’ll use any reason to stay near him for longer,’ she thought to herself.

‘Can you grab my coat and bag, please?’ she asked in a put upon voice.

Remus laughed and handed her the things, taking a complaining Teddy off her. Jess put her coat on and they moved to the elevator, Remus putting Teddy down again.

‘He wants to walk everywhere now,’ Remus said as they watched the boy trying to stay steady in the moving lift. They laughed when it stopped and he fell to his bottom, looking a bit shocked to find himself in that position. Remus picked him up, but he made a hissing noise and held his hands out to Jess.



Remus was secretly delighted, but pretended to pout. ‘Looks like you’re the favourite now,’ he said, handing Teddy to Jess who both grinned. ‘You don’t mind taking him, do you?’

Jess shook her head and Teddy copied her, making her and his father laugh. Teddy giggled as well, putting his hand on Jess’ mouth as she smiled. They lined up for the Floo, Teddy snuggling into Jess in a way that made Remus wish she’d let him do that. They stepped into the Floo together, Jess insisting on handing Teddy back to his father.

‘I might drop him or something,’ she said nervously. Remus took her hand as he called out the name of his house, making sure she got out at the right fireplace. They slid out onto his floor, Teddy squealing in happiness when he recognised his house.



Remus put him down and he went running into the kitchen, banging on the fridge. ‘I think he’s hungry,’ Jess commented with a laugh and Remus nodded. He slid his coat off, taking Jess’ and throwing them over the couch.

‘He’s always hungry,’ he said, moving into the kitchen and lifting Teddy up, swinging him into the air and making him giggle before plopping him in a high chair. He got out a small bowl of the leftovers Molly had given him last night and pointed his wand at it, heating it quickly. Jess kept him entertained, making faces at him until his dinner was ready.

‘Alright, Ted,’ Remus said, testing the food to make sure it wasn’t too hot. ‘Molly’s stew coming your way.’



Jess looked up at him sharply, wondering who the hell this Molly was. Remus pulled up a chair and tried to feed the food to Teddy but he refused, shaking his head. Remus frowned in frustration then looked at Jess.

‘Would you mind trying?’ he asked, holding out the food. ‘You’re having better luck with him than I am today.’

Jess took the food off him and held out the full spoon to the boy who, to his father’s consternation, immediately opened his mouth. Jess put the food in and gave Remus a bashful look.

He laughed and stood up. ‘I’ll get the grown ups something to eat,’ he said, opening the fridge.



Jess watched him out of the corner of her eye, talking to Teddy in between bites. ‘He seems to like the stew,’ she said, scrapping the bottom of the bowl and feeding him the last spoonful of food.

‘Mmm,’ he said, finishing heating the rest of the stew for them. ‘Molly tends to fuss a bit and sends us home laden with food each time we visit. She’s a fantastic cook though, so I’m not going to complain.’

Jess couldn’t stand it any longer. ‘Who’s Molly?’ she asked, trying for a casual tone but not sure she succeeded.

Remus glanced over at her, the corner of his mouth turning up when he heard the curiosity in her voice.

‘A friend,’ he said, putting a plate in front of her. ‘She and her husband are both good friends.’

There was no mistaking the look of relief on Jess’ face and Remus felt his heart thump harder.



He sat down on the other side of Teddy and they ate, chatting and talking to Teddy.

‘Just throw the dishes in the sink,’ he said when they finished. ‘I’ll bath Ted and put him to bed. You relax - there’s mead in the fridge. Just…don’t go anywhere.’

He looked as surprised as she did at the slight tone of desperation in his voice and quickly picked up his son, flustered. ‘Won’t be long.’

He disappeared into the bathroom and Jess ran some water in the sink, washing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen.

‘What the hell am I doing here?’ she muttered as she wiped the table and high chair down.



Seeing Remus again had bought back all those old feelings that she’d never really put aside, not to mention the way her body was reacting to being close to him. She’d been really nervous about meeting Remus’ son, but Teddy was so sweet. He looked a lot like Remus: he had his eyes and his mouth and his colouring - when his hair wasn’t turning blue. She’d known his mother had been an Auror and a Metamorphmagus, and that Remus had married her very quickly.

‘I should leave right now,’ she told herself, instead moving to the fridge and opening the bottle of mead. ‘I don’t trust myself around him. And I don’t know if we can do this again; if we should do this again.’



They still hadn’t talked about the reasons behind their break up and until they worked through that, nothing could happen between them.

‘Ok,’ Remus said with a smile as he came back into the kitchen. ‘I don’t know what they did to him today in the nursery, but he’s never gone to sleep so quickly before.’

Jess smiled and handed him a glass of mead, leaning back against the kitchen counter as she sipped hers.

‘He’s beautiful, Remus,’ she said. ‘You’ve done a wonderful job with him.’ He smiled and stood next to her, also leaning against the bench.

‘He’s a really good kid,’ he said. ‘But Jess, I’m serious. He’s never taken to someone like he did with you today. He seems to really like you.’

Jess blushed and looked into her glass of mead. ‘Well, I like him too,’ she mumbled, then took another drink.

‘Tell me that when you’ve met the real Teddy,’ he laughed, a warmth flowing through him when she said she liked his son. ‘Once he gets to know you, he can be a real terror.’



Jess laughed and they drank their mead in silence for a few moments. ‘You know, I never managed to get over you either,’ he said suddenly, turning to look at her. ‘I thought I’d be able to move on with Tonks, and I did love her, but it wasn’t the same as us. I….I thought about you a lot, Jess. Every day. I missed you every day.’

He saw her bite her lip, staring down at her drink as though the meaning of life was in there.

Remus closed his eyes briefly then asked softly, ‘Could there be a chance for us again, Jess? Could we try and….start over? Maybe go on a date or two this time?’



She smiled and turned to look at him. ‘As soon as I left, I wanted to turn around and come back,’ she told him. ‘And there were so many times I almost did. Every day I woke up and for a few moments, I forgot that I did something so stupid. Then I rolled over and you weren’t there….I really missed you too.‘

She moved to the table and sat down heavily. ‘I got married just over a year after we broke up. Jeff was kind and thoughtful and he loved me, and I cared for him, but I didn’t love him - not the way I should have; not the way I loved you. He deserved better than someone who couldn’t give him her whole heart, so we got our bond broken. He’s married again now - she’s a nice girl and she loves him like I never could have.’



She stood up again and put her now empty glass on the sink. ‘You didn’t answer my question,’ he said, moving closer to her.

When she stayed staring down at the sink, he put his glass down and turned her face to his.

‘I don’t know,’ she whispered, longing evident in her eyes. ‘It’s been five years, Remus and I’m nowhere near over you. But why do you think things would be different between us now?’

‘Because I learnt from my mistakes, Jess,’ he insisted, cupping her face in his hands. ‘I’d never shut you out like that again, I swear.’



Jess frowned and looked away again. ‘I don’t know,’ she repeated, moving towards the door. ‘It’s getting late. I should go.’

Remus followed her, catching up when she reached the front door. ‘Jess,’ he said. ‘Think about it. Please?’

She nodded, turning to face him. ‘That shouldn’t be hard. I’ve thought about nothing but you for the last five years,’ she admitted and her words were too much for him.



He leaned over and kissed her, his mind going blank as his lips touched hers and his body immediately responding . The rush of desire that ran through Jess nearly floored her, her knees going weak as her hand rose involuntarily to hold his head closer to her. His own hands moved to cup her face again, wanting to feel her skin under his fingers. As his thumb ran over her cheek, he heard her give a little moan and he lost all restraint. He deepened the kiss and pulled her tight to him, beginning to tremble when her body pressed against his. Her arms came up around his shoulders and she kissed him back, moaning again when his tongue ran over her lip tentatively.

‘God, Remus,’ she mumbled against his lips and their kiss became heated. His hands ran through her hair, holding her head to him. Their tongues stroked over each other and Remus groaned, pushing her up against the door as he tried to get as close to her as he could.

‘Jess,’ he said breathlessly as her teeth scraped over his lip, biting gently, sending a surge of lust through him.



His hand moved down to rest on her hip, pressing his body hard against hers. ‘Jess, I want you so much,’ he whispered, his mouth moving from her lips to her neck. ‘I need you; I need to be inside you again.’

Jess whimpered desperately, her leg lifting to wrap around him, pulling him closer. ‘I want you inside me,’ she gasped, her head falling back as his tongue licked the hollow of her throat. ‘I want that so much.’

His hands pushed up her skirt, allowing him to move between her thighs. Jess’ fingers fumbled at his fly, his strangled groan loud when her hands brushed over the front of his pants. As his hands reached under her skirt to remove her underwear, he became aware of a noise.



‘Remus,’ said Jess breathlessly, also hearing it. ‘Teddy.’

Her leg dropped down and she gently pushed him away from her. Remus took a deep, shuddering breath and ran a hand through his hair before doing up his fly. He saw Jess pull her skirt back down and run her hand over her head.

‘Don’t go,’ he said, taking her hand. ‘I’ll settle him then we…’

‘No,’ she said, shakily. Her common sense had returned once he stopped touching her and she sent a silent thank you to Teddy for his timely interruption ‘That shouldn’t have happened. It should never have gone that far, Remus.’



Teddy called out ‘DaDa’ and Jess smiled. ‘You’re being summoned,’ she said, then her face turned serious when she saw how miserable Remus looked. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let it happen. I just….I still can’t bloody think when you touch me.’

A smile tugged at Remus’ lips at her irritated tone. ‘At least I know there’s a chance for us now,’ he said, his hand touching her hair gently, much as his son had done that morning. ‘I won’t give up, Jess. Not until we’re together again.’

‘Go and look after your son, Remus,’ she said, a faint smile on her face as she turned and left the house.

Remus made his way into his son’s bedroom and picked him up, kissing the top of his head.

‘You have incredibly bad timing, Ted,’ he murmured.