Fighting For My Love And Right

It was soon seven pm and the sun was still out, but that didn’t help on Harry’s mood. He tried to not think about what had happened, he needed to stay in control. If he didn’t have any control over his feelings he could most likely become another Dark Lord, but he knew better, war and power solved nothing, and it would surly not help him in this situation. He only had a couple of hours left before he had to make the decision if he wanted to carry Lucius Malfoy’s second child, Draco’s little brother and his own heir.

Every second seemed to pass slowly by, and as the time passed his anger dissolved, leaving him with the same emptiness he had before.

Without knowing what to do he decided to walk down to the lake, his goal was the centre of the lake. Why he wanted to be there wasn’t known for him, he only wanted to do something he chose without having anyone telling him not to or saying t was dangerous.

There were no clouds on the sky, every trace of the dark and gloomy day was gone, except the holes where he had been standing when the older Malfoy came earlier that day; he couldn’t believe it was hours since he found out the truth, it felt like he had been sad his whole life and never knew what happiness was.

Once he stood beside the lake he undressed, letting his clothes fall down behind him. When he was striped down to his boxer shorts he looked around to see if anyone was there; there was no one around him, most of the students was inside the castle and having supper, slowly he walked out in the cold water. He hadn’t been swimming for a long time, but swimming was something nobody could forget once they learned, just like riding a bike; only that he was never tried to ride a bike thanks to the Dursley’s.

When he reached the centre he stopped, he thought he heard something; it must have been an illusion because he didn’t hear anything the next seconds while he waited. He didn’t bother to swim any further, maybe he should head back in, the thought of having a cramp and then drown was not something he wished. Even if he wanted to die killing himself would not make anything better, it would only inflict pain on the ones he loved and mock his parents for offering their life for his. Even as tempting it was he didn’t want that to be his future.

Slowly he turned around but didn’t get half way before someone was dragging him through the water. He tried not to panic but when he felt water enter his mouth he couldn’t help kicking and splashing and trying to be set free.

‘Stop it or you’ll drown.’ He recognized the voice, but what was Draco doing in the lake? ‘I can’t believe this is the second time I have to save you from the lake.’ Was he thinking that Harry wanted to kill himself? He knew that it could seem like that but he wasn’t stupid, something worse had to happen to him so he would be able to kill himself. ‘Don’t move; I’ll take you back on land. What the hell are you trying to do? Have you lost your mind?’ He wanted to answer Draco but he couldn’t think of anything good to say, his mind was just as blank as his feelings.

‘Why are you here?’

‘Because you are trying to kill yourself, that’s why.’ If his answer had been something completely different maybe Harry would snap out of his depression. But since he didn’t hear the right words he didn’t bother saying anything else, Draco didn’t have to know that he wasn’t going to kill himself.

‘Why?’ He tried once more, please let Draco say he cared about him or if possibly even loved him. Draco didn’t say anything for several seconds; maybe he was afraid of telling him the truth.

‘Because you are so stupid to put yourself in danger while you are pregnant.’

‘Let me go, I’ll swim in by myself.’ Draco didn’t release Harry; he was actually holding him tighter into his chest. ‘I said let me go.’ Harry knew that if he tried to hit Draco or do anything violent then they could both go under the water, so he let himself be lead back to the shoreline.

Draco collapsed at once he was on dry land, but he didn't let go off Harry. They lay like that for several minutes, Harry wanted to touch Draco and kiss him, he could if he bent his head backwards and stretched it a couple of inches, but Draco didn't say anything about loving him, so what was the point. Draco only wanted to help him because he was carrying his brother; at least Harry knew he cared about somebody else beside himself, but he hated that Draco didn’t like him.

Draco's hands held him tighter, and slowly he cuddled Harry. Harry wanted to stay but he didn't want Draco's affection if he couldn't admit his feelings. Quickly he got up from the ground, surprised that his own body didn't object to the loss of Draco's hands, he surly knew he loved the Slytherin's touch. Harry tried to open his mouth to say something to the boy that has swam into the lake to save him, fully dressed; but he didn’t want to cry so he began to walk up to the castle, Draco then called out for him.

'Harry, please stop.'

'Why?' Would he say what Harry wanted to hear?

'My father was here and he told me what he told you.' Harry's heart was screaming in pain; would he never say a word about his feelings? He could at least say that he didn't love Harry; at least then Harry would try and get over him.

'Yes, he told me exactly what you two have done; I can't believe that I thought you were different from your father. You two make quite the pair, both spoiled Slytherin brats that think they are better than others. You two have more in common now, both have raped the Harry Potter, saviour of the wizard world; that is a good story to share with your Death Eater friends.' He couldn't believe his own words, his feelings was mixed up and he felt he was on the edge to cry, but he had to stay strong.

'No, you got it completely wrong.' He must have wanted to say something else but Harry interrupted him.

'Wrong!? How can anyone get that wrong? I know I was raped, and finding out that you were involved makes me sick. I hate you Malfoy!' He turned away from the blond and was running up to the castle half naked and stil wet. Draco must have known he was mad because he used his last name, until that moment Harry had forgotten that he used to call him Malfoy; it had been Draco for a while. When he reached the shadows of the school he realized he was almost naked and wet. 'Dobby.' The house elf once again appeared, ready to serve Harry. 'Can you take me up to my room? I have forgotten my clothes.' he had to remember to give Dobby something special later; he had done almost everything Harry asked him about lately.

Once he was up in his room Dobby disappeared again, leaving Harry alone in the dorms. He went over to the showers as fast as he could so he could clean himself up, the water in the lake wasn't that clean and he was covered in dirt after lying on the ground with Draco. Draco was surprisingly not on his mind the entire time he was in the shower, he was to busy trying to clean himself. But once he was in his bed he remembered the clothes he forgot by the lake, the two bottles of potion was still in his robe and he couldn’t loose them. He didn’t want to walk all the way down to the lake and meet any students on his way, so he found his broom and an extra robe and jumped out the window, closing it so none of his room mates would lock it if they found it open.

He rode his broom fast, wanting to reach back to his room before any of his room mates decided to go to bed. When he reached the lake, only seconds later, he noticed someone standing there. Unsure if it was safe to move closer he went higher, trying to figure out who the mystery man was. When the one down on the ground moved Harry saw that it was Draco, there was no way he could mistake the young boy with the short platinum blond hair with anyone, he couldn’t even mistake him for his father either. Draco was walking forth and back beside his clothes, he must have been waiting for Harry. He knew that if he wanted his things back without Draco noticing him he would have to knock him out, but he couldn’t hurt him. Slowly he sank down behind Draco, not letting any sound escape him. The blond was startled by Harry but he didn’t use his wand.

‘Are you trying to kill me?’ One hour earlier he said Harry tried to kill himself, not he was trying to kill Draco? He was never easy to please.

‘How long have you been standing here?’ Harry was sure he had been there since he left, but Draco would never admit it. ‘Anyway, I just came to get my things.’ Quickly he took what was his and got on the broom again.

‘Please Harry.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me that your father is the father of my baby in the first place? That would have saved me lots of time that I have been using to follow you and be sad over the fact that I would maybe never see you again.’ Harry wanted to wait for him to answer but when he felt the tears stinging his eyes he kicked off, making sure Draco couldn’t see his face in the dark. ‘Never talk to me again; I can’t stand more lies.’ He didn’t look down at Draco when he left, to see the boy would only cause him to cry even harder than he already was.

He entered the bedroom and was surprised none of his room mates has come yet, it was already nine. Maybe they were all having another party, and he was still not invited. While he undressed and sat himself on his bed he couldn’t help feeling bad about what he just had done to Draco. But he had raped Harry as well; the sad feeling was quickly exchanged with fury.

He didn’t have to wait for long until someone came in, ten minutes after he had closed the curtains he could hear all his room mates shush each other, they had seen the curtains on his bed closed and didn’t want to disturb him; did they still think he would curse them? He knew that he shouldn’t think about their stupidity; only two more days, one when he woke up, and then they wouldn’t have to be afraid of him anymore.

He lay in his bed, listening to their whisperings while slowly playing with a bottle containing yellow liquid, should he take it or not? He tried to think of a reasons for why he should abort the baby, but didn’t find any more reasons beside who the rapist was. There was nothing else, the child was a gift, it was powerful and it would be only his. Whatever Lucius Malfoy did he would not touch his child, Harry would make sure of it. But what about Draco? He tried to be nice to Harry and also saved him a couple of times, maybe he could see his brother, if he would behave.

Slowly he placed the small bottle under his pillow, the baby was his and his alone, how he became pregnant and who raped him had nothing to say now, nobody could mess with him.

He closed his eyes and felt peace the second time that day, first time was when he was laying by the lake in Draco’s embrace. Maybe the boy did feel something for him but was too afraid to admit it. Slowly he fell asleep with the yellow liquid beneath his pillow, there was no way back now.

--**¤**--

Maybe this day would turn out better, Lucius could not do or say anything to scare or hurt him; and he was strong and would not be bossed around. Harry stretched once more before getting up from bed; he had made a decision all alone and was pleased about it, the baby was his.

All his room mates was still sleeping, at least they didn't have a party without telling him; that would really piss him off. He told himself to relax; the way everyone was behaving was because they didn't know the truth. Down in the common room he meet Hermione, she smiled and greeted him but didn't do much more besides that; Harry didn't know what to talk about if she wanted to chat anyway so it didn’t bother him that much. He walked quickly through the common room and then down to the main hall, a quick breakfast and then he would decide what to do with the rest of the day.

He thought the main hall would be empty this early but it was half full, there were mostly students from the first three years but a couple of the older students were there too. The end of the school was different for everyone, fifth and seventh years had exams while the other years had ordinary school and some had the days off. When Harry first started school he didn’t think his last year would end like this, he wasn’t sure what to think either since the whole wizard world was something completely new. But he survived it, sometimes just by the hair; and now he was done, soon eight years since he found out he was a wizard and marked by one of the most evil man of his time, and he was still standing and breathing. While he thought about how the world has treated him he had walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down, ignoring the looks and whisperings that was going on around him.

He would survive this, not the first time he has been marked as an enemy by the wizard world, and you would think they would learn over the years to know the truth. But everything that has happened has made him stronger, and now he would not let anyone fuck with him, not even his friends, not even Ginny or Luna.