One's True Nature

16

Draco had no idea how long Harry had been tossing and turning in bed. He only knew as he was accidently jerked from the blankets, something was very wrong. He turned to Harry almost instantly and tried to shake him awake. Harry didn't wake, his face was a screwed up mass of panic. He was clenching his fists so tightly that Draco could hear the skin being scraped in the palms. He tried calling to him softly and shaking him a bit harder, but nothing happened. Harry continued to be trapped. Draco, had he been thinking would have called someone, surely one of Potter's friends' would be able to understand. However, Draco wasn't thinking and the next moment he'd grabbed his wand.

"I am really sorry for this Harry." Draco whispered.

Draco lifted his wand and pointed it at Harry's sweating forehead. He figured he would help Harry, by joining him in his nightmare. He admitted to himself as he muttered the spell that he was curious. Draco's body went limp in the real world as his mind entered Harry's dream. Draco Malfoy wasn't one to feel like an idiot, but once he had slipped beyond the veil of conciousness, he realized his mistake. He was trapped inside Harry's body somehow, expiriencing the dream as if it were his. He swore in his head and tried to shake off the disorientation he felt.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING YOU LITTLE FREAK?! And Draco felt himself freeze. He felt Harry's fear and sudden desire to disappear. He didn't move, but everything in his body said that that is exactly what he should have been doing. And as his shakey small five-year-old hands fumbled with very poorly repaired glasses, Draco saw why.

"N-n-nothing uncle, h-h-" And Draco felt the words stop as a powerful hand collided with his small head. The body stagged backward and crashed against the cupboards along the floor. Draco realized this was a kitchen and then he realized how hungry the little Harry seemed.

"I TOLD YOU BEFORE BOY, FREAKS DON'T EAT!" Now Draco felt the front of the shirt Harry had on being gripped tightly. He was begining to panic, just like the small Harry was. He was lifted off the ground. He looked into the eyes of this terrible man that was hurting Harry and he was sharing the fear with the small boy as he watched small hands try to grab his own throat. He was being choked. Draco felt the boy's small chest pump hard, trying to gasp for air as he felt he was now being carried by the arm and then suddenly thrown into a small space. Harry's eyes were closed, he was crying terribly, shaking desperately. Draco's chest hurt, or he imagined it did.

"P-p-p-please- I was jus- just hungwy." Harry sobbed, causing his glasses to become wet. Draco was on fire with confusion, he began to realize that this wasn't exactly a dream, it was some kind of horrible memory. How could anyone have treated a child like this? Draco didn't know, as he continued to listen to Harry sob, unable to do anything. He tried to think of any way out of this. He had invaded Harry's thoughts, he certainly wasn't going to earn any goodwill from Harry by doing this.

Suddenly, the door opened and a dish was pushed in through the corner of the cupboard door. Harry didn't move. Maybe it was posion. Draco could feel the dread course through the small boy's body and mind. He couldn't believe a child would be so mistrusting, though, after what he just expirienced a few moments ago, it made sense.

And then there he was, huddled over the small dish, still crying a bit, trapped in his cupboard. Draco felt the feelings of little Harry, how awfuly hungry and frightened. He felt himself eat the two slices of bread as if someone might change their mind and come take it back. He was so unsettled by the shear power of the little boy's fear. He was sure of one fact as he felt the boy heave from eating too fast, if he threw up, he would eat it. He tried desperately to wake himself. This wasn't real. This had to be just a bad dream, he can't have lived this way.

Then suddenly, with a wash of a clearish white blur, the memory changed and Draco felt great physical pain. He felt the arms of a still small Harry trying to ward of the blows of the same great big hands from earlier. He was panicked by the simple fact that Harry didn't seem to be able to defend himself. He wanted to intervene, but he was an observer in the most intimate of senses. He could expirience everything Harry had. He didn't want to, this was all wrong.

"PUT YOUR GOD DAMNED ARMS DOWN BOY!" The piggish man above him bellowed. Harry did as he was told. A blow struck the side of his head and Draco felt himself fade. There was the clear indication from wetness that blood now ran from his head, but that wasn't the worst of it. Harry's thoughts were terrifying and Draco felt them now. Powerful and deep.

'Maybe I'll die this time.' 'Maybe that's alright, if I die.' Harry didn't hardly breathe, his body pained, his muscles locked, he laid curled up on the carpet. 'Maybe I can see my parents when I die.' 'Maybe they wil love me' And Draco started to understand something. He wanted to be sick. This was real, this was real, it was so fucking real and the guilt that assaulted him forced him violently from Harry's mind.

When Draco felt himself awaken, he dared not look at Harry. He got up, collected his clothes off the floor and got dressed, he was angry, he was upset, he hated himself. 'You hurt him all the time.' Draco sneered at his reflection in the mirror, he never remembered a time when he hated it more. He felt pure rage build in his body as the memories he'd expirienced started to leave imprints. He jerked his shirt on and ran his hands through his thining hair. He wanted to scream.

He left the house quietly, with no coat, he just walked to the green house, which was empty for the holiday. He had to vent, he had to let this out before he hurt someone. He got inside the moderately sized greenhouse and screamed bitterly. He smashed some pots and even threw some soil samples around. He let his magic go, in a burst, several breakable things popped like party baloons. Draco wasn't feeling any better. He let his magic burst forth freely than ever. He was cracking up, he knew it. He started to laugh as he thought of what he had said to Harry.

"Protect him?" Draco said to no one. "You probably caused more of his pain." Draco gritted his teeth as tears forced their way from him angry eyes, his magic still erupting in irregular intervals. He smashed his fist on one of the long wooden tables that ran the length of the building. The pain wasn't satisfying. He screamed in frustration. Then suddenly, he heard a noise behind him and just as he was about to turn and face this intruder with his wand, every muscle in his body froze.

"Gods Malfoy, the fuck were you doing out here?" Ron asked in a harsh whisper. He unfroze the man and kept his wand trained on him, incase Malfoy was crazy, or dangerous. Ron's eyes searched the man's downcast face. He saw Draco's hands pressed hard against the table. One was slightly bloodied. "Are you alright?" The red head asked cautiously.

"No." Draco was surprised when he spoke, it sounded like a whimper of an injured dog. "God Weasely, why didn't I realize how bad I was hurting him." Draco's eyes never left the table. "How can someone hide something so awful like that?" Now Draco looked up into Ron's very confused gaze. "Sorry, I must seem pretty awful right now." And Ron's gaze went from confused to understanding.

"Listen, do you want to talk about this-" And Ron gestured to the random chaos and destruction throughout the place. "Whatever it is?" Ron asked carefully, his voice warm and gentle. Draco looked at him for several seconds before puting his head down and nodding slightly.

They sat face to face on the floor. Draco's knees were pulled up to his chest and Ron sat propped up against his hands. They both spent long moments in thought. Neither man was too sure of what the other wanted to know or how to start the conversation in a non-threating way. It was Draco who finally spoke and it was so soft that Ron had to strain to hear what he said.

"I saw how Harry lived as a child." Draco's words were so light, he barely heard them himself.

Ron raised an eyebrow and his mouth opened stupidly. "What?"

"I saw in his dreams Ron, I didn't mean to- I just- I wanted to help him, he was having a nightmare and I couldn't wake him, so I thought-" And Draco stopped to take a breath which came more as a shiver. "I entered his mind, I saw how they treated him, the muggles, they hated him." Draco's face screwed up in pain and Ron got up and went over to sit beside him.

"I know mate, I don't know from expirience, but I could see it in his eyes." Ron said as he put his arm around Draco's shoulders. "How he got through whatever it was, I'll never really understand."

"How could he keep that all in?" Draco asked in a nearly childish tone.

"That's just Harry, it's usueless to get him to talk about it. He bears it all alone, even if he has people who are willing to take the pain with him." Ron was fighting the urge to cry.

Draco could hear the pain in his voice. He wanted to comfort Ron somehow, but he didn't even really understand what was happening. "All those things, I did so many awful things to him." Draco ground out through a bitter breath.

"I think he gets you though, Malfoy." Ron said with a squeeze of the man's shoulders.

"What?" Draco was shocked by this train of thought.

"Because all he knew was hate and bitterness and all that." Ron said breathing out. "He doesn't know how to accept love. Not easily anyway, he avoids anything with those emotions because he doesn't understand them, because he never had them. Make sense?" Ron asked.

"I guess so, but what does that have to do with me?" Draco was very confused.

"Malfoy, you treated him the way he understood how to deal with. When you fought with him and he fought back, I never saw him more excited or generaly having feelings." Ron seemed in the middle of a sudden breakthrough.

"You mean, I spoke his langauge or something?" Draco raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Something like that, yeah. It was like, he'd be really, really devistated and we'd try to love him through it. Then, he'd go and have a big row with you and he'd be all charged up, like someone gave him a soul." Ron's voice cracked. "Maybe you can break his walls down and help him Malfoy, we've all tried, but he doesn't understand." Ron was crying and Draco squeezed the redhead's hand.

"You really care about him, don't you?" Draco asked softly.

"He's like my brother, I'd protect him with my life and sometimes I do." Ron was shaking.

"What do you mean?" Draco's voice was coaxing.

"On missions, sometimes, he just gets careless, like it doesn't matter if he dies." Ron sniffed. "I don't think he even realizes he does it." Ron smiled really painfully. "You know, I used to be jealous of Harry's fame, but I've watched how it's slowly killed him over the years, I don't mind being his shadow, I owe him that much."

Draco was in shock and for the first time, he felt burdened like the time he'd been assigned the mission to kill Dumbledore. Now however, he was being asked to help Harry Potter, the most powerful wizard in the world. The daunting task made him sort of dizzy.

"I'll help him if I can." Draco said softly

"I know." Ron replied standing up "We should get back to the house." He helped Draco to his feet.

"I should clean up my mess." Draco smiled as he looked around.

"It's alright Malfoy, I can clean it up, I sleep light anyway." Ron clapped him gently on the shoulder. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Weasely."

Draco was so overwhelmed with everything going through his head, he didn't know if he would be able to sleep. He undressed himself in the bathroom and walked back to the bed. Harry seemed to have stilled and breathed lightly. Draco slipped under the sheets and let out a soft sigh and shivered slightly, he was chilled to the bone. He snuggled under the blanket, hoping for warmth.

"Draco, where'd you go off to? Are you ok?" Draco froze at Harry's soft and sweet, but powerful voice. A far cry from the boy in the nightmare.

"I went for a walk Harry, bad dream, sorry, didn't mean to wake you up." Draco said softly, still shivering slightly.

"Bad dream?" The man's eyes opened. "Me too." He seemed sort of innocent to Draco, like a little boy. He paled at the flash as he had that thought, of a man hitting Harry.

He didn't have time to dwell on these thoughts as a hand traced up to his cheek, the owner's eyes widening in surprise.

"Draco, you're freezing!" Harry's words were panicked. "Come here, snuggle closer, I'll warm you." Draco thought of rejecting this, but his teeth chattered instead. He did as instructed and Harry hugged him to his body, the way a parent holds a child to protect it.

"You are really warm Potter." Draco sighed. "It must be that disgustingly noble heart of yours."

Harry chuckled. "Good night, Merry Christmas Draco."

"I Love you Potter." Draco said snuggling into Harry's warmth and falling asleep.

"I Love you Malfoy." Harry said absently, already shutting his eyes.


End Chapter 16
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A/N: Christmas is the next chapter. I thought it would be this one, but I needed this scene to fit somewhere, I liked it here. I hope you like it too. "A Christmas of Chaos is next. Please Review.