The Headmaster

Chapter 16 The Headmaster

The only things Severus did over the weekend were sleep and eat bland foods. When he woke from his naps there was always someone there, to watch over him. He would have been aggravated if it weren’t for the fact he was so weak. He took his wand in hand, the first night at home, and thought he would venture a little magic, something simple like stoking the fire in the fireplace. After he attempted his spell, he fell exhausted onto the bed. All he accomplished was to extinguish the little flame that was left in the hearth.

“Would you like me to help you with a bath?” Remus asked slyly. The two were getting along famously in recent years but this, intimacy, could put a strain on there friendship.

“I most certainly would not like you to give me a bath. If you would, a cleansing spell would be efficient until I am able to bathe myself.”

“Severus, you do realize it may be months before you can take care of yourself.”

With a heavy sigh Snape said, “The curse affected my body not my mind, Remus. I implore you; let me keep the little dignity that I have left.”

“If you change your mind, Draco, Neville, Ron, and I would be, what’s the right word, ‘willing’ to take care of your ablutions. There is nothing wrong in taking help when needed, Severus.”

“Not for you perhaps but I have been taking care of myself since I was a toddler. I am far too old to rely on the kindness of others. Please understand, I appreciate everything that everyone has done for me, I really do, but let me do as much as possible, for myself. Just bring me a bowl of hot, soapy water and I shall take care of my own filth.”

“Severus?”

“Get on with it man. What has been chomping at your bit since you walk in?”

“How… how would you like us to take care of your body waste?”

Severus was almost bowled over, he hadn’t even thought of how he would use the bathroom. There was no way in hell he could get there by himself. To be carried to the loo would be so humiliating that he would rather die. Diapers? Unthinkable.

“There are charms to take care of my needs,” Severus spoke hesitantly.

“There only good for a week or two at the most. You know as well as I do, that they cause permanent kidney and intestinal damage, if there is prolonged use of the charms.”

“Remus, what would you have me do. Have you and the others lift me up and carry me to the loo every time I have to go? I think not.”

“You may not have a choice. We’ll go a week and use the charms on you, at the end of that time we’ll have Alvin check you over and see what he has to say. If you no longer can use the spells you ‘will’ be taken to the bathroom by one of us and we ‘will’ stay with you until you’re finished and then we ‘will’ clean you up and take you back to your bed.”

After a rather long gap in their conversation, Snape finally spoke. “I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“No, not really. We are not here to hurt or humiliate you but to support and care for you. We’re your friends and we all want to make this as easy as possible.” Remus began smiling. “Besides, Minerva would have our hide if we hurt you any more than you all ready are.”

“I don’t like this. Not one little bit.” Severus sulked.

“Severus you’ve already been through hell and back, likely more than once. You can survive this, I guarantee it.”

Severus turned his head and stared out of the window at perfectly coifed garden of Malfoy Manor. “I suppose.” Remus heard the defeat in his voice but couldn’t see the sting of tears in Severus’ eyes.

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Harry leaned against the wall his arms crossed in defiance. He glared at Severus who glared right back.

“I’m going to leave you two alone now. I’ll be back in an hour. That, I believe, is more than enough time for the first day.” Luna started to close the door behind her. Her last words, before she left, were for the two of them to play nice.

“I hate being treated like a child,” muttered Severus after Luna was no longer in hearing distance.

“Finally agree with you on something,” Harry grumbled under his breath.

It hadn’t started out to be a staring match but neither one nor the other would shift their eyes. Moments passed and the two pairs of eyes continued to be locked in case of wills.

Harry, never moving his eyes away from his adversary, was the first to talk. “They said I was in love with you.”

“Are you asking or telling me?” Severus flinched and his eyes shifted away from Harry’s. There could be too much to be discovered if either one of them pushed into the other’s mind.

“Were we?”

Severus paused before answering. “I have been told that the curse would not have been so effective if you weren’t.”

“That’s a bull crap answer and you know it. Tell me about us.”

“Believe me, when I say, you don’t want to know.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know and ‘don’t’ put words in my mouth.” Harry pushed off the wall and paced the length of the room. “What could I have possibly seen in you that I was supposed to love so much. You’re an arrogant, dictatorial, snappish, opinionated, rude, ugly son-of-a bitch. What was I in love with?”

In a voice was calm but the under tone resonated anger. “You may attack me however you wish but I will not allow you to attack my mother, in any form.”

Harry had to stop to think what he had said. “Oh. It was just an expression. The attack was on you, not your mother. I meant nothing by it.”

“Please remember, that words are sometime more painful than a slap across the face and likely, may last a life time.”

Exasperated Harry rubbed his face with his hands. “I’m sorry, I meant no offense to you mother, only you.”

“I know and thank you. I appreciate the apology.”

Harry had a flash of memory. A moment the two had spent together. A touching, soul rendering moment when Snape had told him about the abuse he sustained from his mother. The memory faded as quickly as it struck.

“You hated your mother?” Harry stated in a question.

“Of all the things to remember.” Severus rolled his eyes. “No, Headmaster, I didn’t hate my mother, she hated me. I, on the other hand, loved her unconditionally and to this day miss her.”

“Why did she hate you?”

“You do realize that I am not about to answer that question. If we were… as we were, I may have been inclined to tell you, but as our relationship stands, I think not.”

“We really had a relationship. That is so unbelievable.”

“Why is that Mr. Potter? Your old Potions Master is incapable of having feelings. I assure you, we had deep feelings for one another and given a bit more time we would have had a love that people only dream of.”

“How do you feel about me now?” Harry had pulled a chair close to the bed and sat. He propped his elbows on his knees and leaned forward to rest his chin in his hands.

“As I said before, I am not about to express ‘any’ feeling I may have had.”

“You still have a crush on me.” Harry’s eyes twinkled in delight. He had something to hang over Snape and torture him with.

“Do not be juvenile. ‘I’ do not have crushes.”

“That may be but even after all this time you’re still in love with me. Poor old Snape, been longing for me for the last three years. Do you have any idea how pitiful that is?”

“I assure you, Mr. Potter, I do. Now, I find myself tiring. I presume you can show yourself out.”

“No problem. You know Snape, I thought that coming here everyday would be a slow torture for me, but now I’m looking forward to making your life so miserable that ‘your’ friends will throw me out on my ear.”

“I look forward to our next meeting, Mr. Potter.”

“I sure you are. Ta ta, Snape.”

“Good bye Potter.” Severus laid his head back onto his pillow until he heard the door of his room click shut. “Are you satisfied Mr. Montoya?”

From the bathroom came the therapist and Remus.

“I’m sorry he was so rude.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. In fact, Harry doesn’t either. It is what it is. I think that he should be released from his oath and all of us just forget this escapade.”

“You may not believe me Mr. Snape but my concern is not only for Harry. It seems that everyone has been devastated by the war. Harry deserves some happiness in his life, as do you. He needs to once again to know you and make a decision at that time. You both have changed in the last few years. You both may find out that you truly do hate one another but at least give it a chance.”

“I could never hate the boy… the boy…” he said wistfully, “far from a boy anymore. He has grown into a beautiful, desirable man. Leave him alone, let him find his life he deserves and not force him into facing his past. Besides his intense hate for me, the curse has no other effect on him. He can live a full and useful life without me in it, leave him be.”

“Severus.” Remus sat next to his friend. Pulling him into an embrace Remus ran soothing hand up and down Severus’ back. “Give it a month. At that time if he shows no sign of affection for you, we’ll call this part of the oath off. Okay?”

“Seeing him everyday, knowing how much he despises me, is worse than being in Azkaban. I don’t know if I can survive it.”

“A month Severus is all I ask. For Harry’s and your sake that’s all we ask.”

“A month, that’s all you have.”

“Thank you Severus. I know everything will work out. It has to, for both of your sakes.”


A/N Thank you all so very much. This is only my second story and there is so much to relearn. I am hoping the more I write the better I become. Years ago in school, my teachers would rave about my imagination and grade me down for all of my mistakes. The more things change the more they stay the same…I will endeavor to be more careful in the future. Thank you all for your support. If anyone cares I am in the process of starting another Harry/Snape story. In this one Harry is once again the savior of the wizard world but not against Voldemort but against the established wizard government. Love you all… LadyJayVee