Dearest Harry - Eileen's Story

Chapter Sixteen


Thanks Kim and TQA for your usual stellar job!!!


This time when Harry awoke, someone was holding his hand. He didn’t want to open his eyes because then they might stop and it was really, really nice.

He felt warm and safe and he couldn’t help himself, he smiled.

“Hello, love. Looks like you’re awake then? How’re you feeling?”

It was his Gran, his Gran’s voice, and Harry didn’t quite know what to do. He suddenly felt deeply embarrassed about what had happened the last time that he had seen her. He felt such a fool! Why couldn’t he have done his healing bit when they were alone? Because he knew that people were going to say things and it was going to feel really uncomfortable. He didn’t regret healing her, not for a moment, but it had been bad enough when everyone had found out about the Dursleys; they had spent the last week treating him like he was made of glass and this time he’d been in a coma for six days or something. They were going to go really overboard now, weren’t they?

She squeezed his hand gently.

“It’s alright love, we’re alone. You’ve no need to feel shy or embarrassed.”

Harry’s eyes sprung open.

“Hhhow did you know how I felt?” he asked.

Eileen smiled at him kindly.

“I know that you and Sev haven’t always got on in the past,” she said, ignoring Harry’s snort. “He told me that. We’ve done a lot of talking in the last six days while you were sleeping, him and me, and he’s told me a lot about you and your school days; well, what he knows of them anyhow, and a little of your childhood, what he has found out over the past week or two.”

She looked very sad when she said the last bit, and Harry squirmed a little. He couldn’t help feeling a tad guilty that his Gran was upset. But Eileen perhaps read his thoughts again because she squeezed his hand reassuringly before she continued.

“Suffice to say that no one will give the whereabouts of the Dursleys because they’re worried about what I might do to them.” Her eyes flashed like Snape’s did when he was really angry, an emotion that Harry had never seemed to have any problems provoking in him. But he felt quite comforted when he recognised it in his Gran, because it was on his behalf this time, and that made his tummy feel all fluttery.

“Severus said he’d always thought that you were a lot like your Dad, ‘cause you look like him, apparently.” Harry snorted again.

“But I have my mother’s eyes!” he finished somewhat bitterly.

“Aye lad, that you do,” she said, touching his cheek with the back of her hand. “And I’m right glad of it. I never got to see my daughter, so I’m thankful that her beautiful eyes live on in her son, my grandson.”

Harry felt a lump in his throat when she said that and he felt all hot.

Eileen squeezed his hand again and carried on speaking.

“But Severus says that the way you are yourself: the way you defend people, your bravery, your personality; it’s much more like Lily than he ever realised. He says he’s seen another side of you, one he didn’t know was there; told me you’ve made him right proud this last week or two.” Harry was sure that his jaw had dropped. Severus Snape had told his mother that he was proud of Harry? “He told me he’s sorry about the way he treated you in the past, the way that he didn’t see what your life was like. I told him he should be sorry, treating my grandson like that. Mind you, they are all sorry downstairs, come to that; they’re all regretting a lot of things that happened that shouldn’t have. Seems to me like I got here far too late and they all could do with their arses kicked!”

Harry stared. Little old ladies didn’t use words like that, did they? Surely not? But Eileen’s eyes were flashing with anger still and it seemed that his Gran did use words like that and maybe had done on his behalf. He wondered what things had been like for the adults who had previously guided his life over the past few days now that Eileen was on the scene.

“Any road,” she carried on, “you and Sev seem quite alike in a lot of ways too.”

Harry opened his mouth to say that he and Snape were nothing like each other, but a look in his grandmother’s eyes stopped him.

“You both take on far too much of a burden and you both carry too much guilt. It’s them, who were meant to be looking after you, are the ones that should feel guilty love, not you. You are a smashing lad, with nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about and I am right proud to have you as my grandson.”

Harry opened his mouth to say that he was nothing to be proud of that he was reckless and a bit stupid, he thought, and runty and clumsy sometimes, oh and gay.

But Eileen had reached out and cupped his cheek. Her eyes were like her son’s, but whereas as far as Harry could remember Snape’s eyes looked at him with hatred and contempt, these shone with pride and with love.

“I just wanted to say, before we go downstairs to get you something to eat and drink, that I have dreamed of meeting you since you were a tiny babe, longed for it, and yet you my love, are so much more than I ever dreamed of. I’m right proud of you too.” She stood up and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I’ll just be outside while you get dressed, if that’s all right? I’ve waited seventeen years to be escorted into a room on the arm of my handsome, grown up grandson, I’m looking forward to it.”

Harry felt as if he had been sucker punched. Nobody had ever said such things to him, not ever. Even when Dumbledore had said he was proud of Harry, it hadn’t felt like this. This was nice; this was lovely. And, all at once, Harry felt better than he had in a very long time.

He was dressed in moments and, after a quick trip to the loo, Harry and his grandmother made their way downstairs.


Harry was hot. He kicked the covers off; he was too hot and too not tired to sleep. He had just lived through one of the strangest days that he had ever had and, considering how weird his life was, that really was saying something. His mind was turning over, thoughts appearing as if from nowhere and getting tangled with others and taking his mind in all sorts of weird directions and, of course, there was the fact that he had been asleep for six days and he just didn’t want to sleep anymore.

When he had finally managed to get downstairs with his Gran, it had been fairly late morning and everyone had obviously been up and about for hours. All the adults present had more or less ignored him, - albeit in a sort of ‘looking at him sorrowfully every so often, or smiling sadly from time to time and effusing about the deliciousness of his scones’ sort of way - which suited Harry fine, even if he did suspect that it was because they had been warned off by his granny! So finally, he had managed to get some time alone with his friends. He felt like he hadn’t seen Ron and Hermione in ages. Every time that they had been together, someone had interrupted them to ask how he was feeling, or see if he’d needed anything, but today all the adults in his life seemed to be eying Eileen warily and avoiding him, even Snape, and Harry could not have been more relieved.

They were in a corner of the library well away from prying eyes and ears, “You should have seen it, mate,” Ron was saying, “Your Gran was great; she was bloody fantastic!” Harry smiled to himself; he thought she was quite amazing too, even though he hardly knew her.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Well all the adults have been a bit sort of overawed over the last few days, Harry,” Hermione said. “I mean, what you did for your Gran, the healing, well I had never seen anything like, it. Nobody has. Madam Pomfrey has been in and out of here every day; she was here this morning, in fact. It was so incredible, so amazing. I mean, do you know how advanced the magic that you did was Harry?” She paused to take a breath and Ron said.

“Shut up, Hermione. Or I’ll tell Eileen that you are upsetting Harry.”

Hermione’s mouth shut with an audible clack.

Harry stared, “What on Earth did Gran say to everyone?” he asked.

Ron was about to continue when they all heard a thump and several books fell to the floor. Draco stood up from behind a small table, blushing. They had come to the library for some peace away from the adults and none of them had thought to ask the other boy. They had wanted to catch up, just spend some time together and, of course, they needed to discuss how the hunt for Horcruxes was progressing.

Harry’s eyes flew to Ron’s and, just for a second, they looked at each other. Then Ron gave an almost imperceptible nod.

“Come and join us, Draco,” Harry said. The Horcruxes could wait, and Harry had made himself a promise the night before that he would be nicer to Draco and now was as good a time as any to put that into practice. Draco’s jaw dropped, but then the Malfoy pride kicked in and he raised his chin with a touch of the old arrogance and said.

“I don’t need your pity, Potter! I…I just came in for a book.”

Harry almost laughed. Of course Draco needed their pity, well maybe not their pity but certainly their friendship! This was the boy who had blubbered all over Harry only last night, after all. But, rather wisely for Harry, he said none of this and it was in fact Ron who told Draco to, “Stop acting like a dickhead, shut up, and sit down.”

And Draco did with such alacrity that Harry realised that he felt a little bit in awe of Ron. Draco didn’t have Crabbe and Goyle to defend him and that maybe, just maybe the other boy really wanted to stay.

Then, whilst Harry sat there and listened, his friends told him about what life had been like at Grimmauld Place whilst Harry had been sleeping. How Mrs Weasley had gone around with red eyes, occasionally stopping whatever she had been doing to break into sobs. How Poppy Pomfrey had seemed to pop in from nowhere every twenty minutes or so for the first couple of days, just “to check” on Harry. How Lupin had wandered around as if followed by a huge dark cloud and how the house had seemed to be steeped in mourning.

Then Eileen had come downstairs all sprightly and steely eyed and she had told all the adults to pull themselves together, including Snape. Had told them all off thoroughly for not being a better support to Harry in the past and warned them all about crowding him when he woke up, which explained the space he’d been given to spend time with his friends.

She had told them, apparently that, whilst Harry was indeed a very special boy, he was also a normal teenager, who undoubtedly missed his friends and needed to be treated like he was normal and not some sort of freak!

And Harry had felt hot and cold all over when Ron had said that. Lying in bed now, trying to sleep even though he was not tired and even though it was only half past ten, he couldn’t help remembering that his Gran, his Gran! had said that he was not a freak.

That had always been one of Harry’s deepest fears: that when the world saw him as he truly was, he would be rejected by wizards too. After all, they had all looked at him strangely, avoided him, stopped speaking to him when they learned about his parselmouth abilities and when he had conjured his first Patronus he had stunned Professor Lupin, who Harry felt have never quite treated him in the same way after that. The fact that his magic had been so fluky - strong in some areas and weak in others - made him deeply uncomfortable, because he didn’t want to be singled out or different. So Harry had tried to hide his abilities because he didn’t want others to think him strange, not like the Dursleys had.

That had been their word, used over and over since he had been so small that he didn’t remember the first time; perhaps they had always used it in regards to him?

There wasn’t going to be any hiding of abilities possible now though, was there?

Harry had had enough, he was uncomfortable; he punched his pillow and sat up instead. He still couldn’t sleep and he was worried about Malfoy. The boy had seemed increasingly preoccupied as the day had worn on. Once or twice, when Harry had glanced at him, Draco had been staring ahead of himself with shadowed, haunted eyes and Harry had had the strangest urge to go to him and hug him.

Everyone had gone to bed early tonight because of Draco. Well, and because of Remus too, but Remus had been a werewolf since he was six years old. For Draco, this was only the second time that he had changed and it was obvious to anyone looking at him that he was absolutely terrified. They had all had an early dinner, even though sunset wasn’t until about 8.45pm. Draco’s nervousness had seemed to infect them all. The two men would still not change for hours after sunset, but every one wanted to be up in bed; no one wanted to see the two of them head off to the specially prepared rooms in the cellar.

Remus had explained that he and Draco would not transform into werewolves as soon as the sun had set. In fact, nothing would happen at all until moon rise and tonight, at this latitude*, at this time of year, that would be just before midnight.

Draco had sat trembling as Remus explained all these details in a matter of fact way and Harry had found himself worrying about how well the blonde boy was going to cope with his transformation when it did come.

Harry’s bed was a mess now; he had been tossing and turning for what seemed like hours and still he couldn’t settle. The bottom sheet had become all wrinkled up and Harry just could not get comfortable at all. So he clambered out of bed and started straightening the sheets. Ron, who was fast asleep in the far bed (the one pushed up against the end wall), turned onto his back at that point and Harry let out a sigh. Because, just as he thought, seconds later Ron began to snore.

Harry knew there really was no hope for sleep right now because, unless he was asleep already, Ron’s grunts and snorts, as he knew from past experience, were not going to give him any peace at all.

So he found his wand, which he had laid on his bedside table, popped on his glasses and cast lumos to help him find his way out of the room. Harry didn’t really have any plans as where he might go; perhaps a spot of reading in the library might help him sleep? As an afterthought, he quietly opened the drawer beside his bed and slipped out his invisibility cloak. His Gran seemed to have done a very good job of getting the adults in his life to back off, but Harry decided he was not going to take any chances and he was sure that he would get a massive lecture if Molly or worse, Snape, found him wandering about with two werewolves in the house. Even if the individuals in question were safely locked away in the cellar by now.

He didn’t bother being too quiet because an enraged Hippogriff could have rampaged through the rooms and Ron wouldn’t notice once he was asleep, and Hermione and Ginny were almost certain to be asleep by now, plus their room was across the landing with the door shut. And the one good thing that could be said about a drafty old house like this one, was that there were so many creaky boards and ill-fitting windows and doors, they wouldn’t notice Harry creeping by outside.

So he picked up his invisibility cloak and wrapped it around himself; ensuring that every inch of him was covered, he set off downstairs in the direction of the library.


*The Latitude and Longitude for London, England is 51. 32N and 0.05W
While the sun sets in August at about 8:45 pm at this time of year, the moon rise is much later, occurring between at sometime between 10:00 pm and 2:00 am. For the purpose of this story, I went for around about midnight.