Smoke & Mirrors

Disclaimer The characters and sheer genius belong to J K Rowling. Any smut is mine, but I don't make a penny/eurocent/cent from my warped imagination.

Chapter 16 Moonshine

"Do you have any of those moon-herbs left?" Harry asked.

"Mmm?" said Snape absently. He had been absorbed in his scroll for some time, poring over it so intently that his curtains of black hair swung forward, almost obscuring the parchment.

"Moon-herbs!" Harry said loudly. "Do you still have any?"

"What do you want them for?" asked Snape, unrolling another inch of parchment.

"Tonks told Hermione that Remus is out of Wolfsbane potion," Harry said. "I promised I'd make some more."

Snape regarded him over the scroll. "You'll need to hurry, then," he said. "Full moon is the beginning of next week."

"Oh, right," Harry said. "So, do you have any moon-herbs left?"

But Snape had once more buried his hooked nose in his scroll, and didn't reply. Harry thumped his fist on the table in frustration. It was several days now since Snape's return: although he had largely recovered from the centaur's arrow he still seemed disinclined to do very much. Apart from immerse himself in his research, that is. Research he refused to explain to Harry, who found the old worry about Essences potion antidotes creeping treacherously into his thoughts every now and then, no matter how he tried to suppress it.

Furthermore, in spite of the augmented Blood-Replenishing potion, Snape no longer seemed much interested in sex - he had treated another of Harry's displays of 'blatant exhibitionism' with a wounding indifference. All his energies now seemed to be channelled into his research. Still, Harry remembered him being similarly affected when they'd been staying with Remus and Tonks, working on the improved Wolfsbane potion... and speaking of which...

"Severus!" Harry said crossly. "About those moon-herbs –"

"Yes, yes, I have some here," Snape replied, waving a hand towards his small bag of possessions in the corner of the room. "But don't forget they are to be added only at the last moment, before the potion is drunk. You'd better brew a cauldronful of the basic potion first – do you remember how?"

Harry cast his mind back to the time when they'd worked so closely together on the Wolfsbane potion. "I remember it took ages!" he said. "All those rituals and things..."

Snape looked faintly embarrassed. "Ahem, well, ye-es... some of those rituals could perhaps be described as ...nugatory..."

Harry wasn't sure what 'nugatory' meant, but seeing Snape's expression thought he could make a pretty good guess. "So... you're saying... for instance, the one where I had walk barefoot seven times through the nettle patch, reciting the Kama Sutra...?"

"Not ...strictly... necessary..."

"And the one where I had to climb an apple tree at dawn," said Harry, growing increasingly indignant, "and then wank all over its branches?"

"A glorious sight," Snape said reminiscently, "but not absolutely obligatory for a good Wolfsbane potion."

"The one where I had to go into the garden at midnight, naked, and collect all those slugs?"

"Tonks said they'd never had such good salads," murmured Snape.

Harry grinned reluctantly. "And – don't tell me – the one where you made me walk through a hawthorn hedge without using magic – naked again, obviously... and..."

Snape slowly shook his head.

"It took me ages to get the thorns out," Harry said ruefully. "In fact, NONE of those bloody rituals made a blind bit of difference to the potion, did they?"

The smirk on Snape's face was answer enough.

"Ha!" Harry shouted. "I knew it! I thought at the time they were all a con. You were just getting back at me for telling Remus and Tonks about your rent-boy with the enchanted nipple ring, weren't you?"

"He wasn't my rent-boy," Snape said airily. "I just, ah, made use of him from time to time. But yes, I did feel you needed a lesson in... discretion. And –" he glanced sideways at Harry "– you also seemed to need an... outlet... for your teenage hormones."

Harry blushed. It was true that then, as recently, he had tried to arouse Snape sexually, but without success: all the elder wizard's energy had seemed tied up in the work of potion creation, just as now it was tied up in his research in those scrolls of his. "Anyway," he said, trying to recover his composure, "I've still got the parchment of instructions you gave me – I'll just cross out the unnecessary bits –" giving Snape a dirty look "– and I'll start on it right away. I suppose I can get the other ingredients from your Potions cupboard."

Snape nodded absently, now engrossed in jotting down notes in the margins of his scroll.

"Good," Harry said, dragging his trunk out from under the bed, and starting to search through it for Snape's instructions.

Harry worked hard all afternoon, with the result that when Hermione called in at the hut that evening, he was able to report that the basic Wolfsbane potion was now ready.

"Oooh, good," Hermione said happily, "Tonks will be pleased, she hated the thought of Remus having to use that stuff from Thorow-wax & Squill's again."

"Did you ask her about sneaking you into the Ministry for a look at their records?" asked Harry.

"Yes," Hermione said, "but it's tricky; even though Ministry security isn't as stringent as it was in Voldemort's heyday, it's still pretty tight. She thinks this Sunday will be the best time, one of her watch-wizard pals is going to be on duty, and there shouldn't be anyone else about. Remus and Ron are coming with us to give a hand."

"I'll come too," Harry said firmly. "I could do with a break from this place." He shot a dirty look at Snape, engrossed as ever in his scroll. "I'll get Dobby to pop in and keep an eye on him."

**************************

Harry followed Ron out of the fireplace into the Ministry of Magic. The Atrium was deserted apart from a solitary wizard at the security desk. As Tonks, Remus, Hermione and Ron headed in his direction, Harry lagged behind, looking at the pool in the centre of the hall. It now contained an unadorned iron fountain with just a dribble of water running down into the pool. It seemed a far cry from the golden statues which had made up the Fountain of Magical Brethren, destroyed in the duel between Dumbledore and Voldemort. Harry shuddered at the memory of that night and hurried to catch up with the others, who were now reaching the security desk. The watch-wizard looked up at them a bit apprehensively.

"Wotcher Bob," Tonks said. "Coast clear?"

"Yes miss, but for gawd's sake get finished before Eric gets back."

Tonks nodded reassuringly; they passed through the gates, and walked towards the lifts.

"I noticed they've not replaced those golden statues in the pool," Harry said.

"Yeah," said Tonks. "The fountain they've got there now's supposed to be just temporary. They've been talking about running a competition for a new design, but everything takes ages in this place, I don't know if anything's been done about it yet."

"They could have nude statues of Hermione giving Draco Malfoy a blow job," Ron muttered under his breath to Harry, so Hermione couldn't hear.

"If we don't get bloody Quercus and his mates sorted out," Harry said, equally quietly, "It'll probably be a nude one of ME, under about half a dozen heaving arses."

Most of the lifts were already at the Atrium level, their golden grilles folded back. Remus, Tonks and Hermione got into the nearest but Harry headed for the lift next to it. "I think I'll just take a look around Amos Diggory's office first," he said over his shoulder. "I'll meet up with you in Records."

"I'll give you a hand," Ron said, following his friend into the lift. Harry pressed the number four button: the grilles slammed shut and the lift shuddered and began to rise.

"How's things, Harry?" Ron asked. "Not seen much of you since the git got back. Did that powdered horn from my dear brothers do the trick?"

"Well, yes and no... the first night after he took it was pretty good... yeah, I know you don't want details," seeing the expression on Ron's face, "... but now he spends all his time reading this scroll, research he says, but he won't tell me what into."

"What's in the scroll then, mate?" asked Ron. "Don't tell me you've not sneaked a look."

"Oh yeah, I've TRIED," Harry said. "But he's bewitched the bloody thing. I can't even open it, it just stays rolled tight."

"You could try shoving it up your arse." Ron sniggered. "What're you looking at me like that for? After all, from what you were saying, that worked for his doorknob."

"I don't think he's likely to play the same trick twice," Harry said. "Definitely not predictable, our Severus."

"YOUR Severus, mate –" Ron was saying, when he was interrupted by a cool female voice announcing:
"Level Four, Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, incorporating Beast, Being and Spirit Divisions, Goblin Liaison Office and Pest Advisory Bureau."

The lift doors opened and Harry and Ron stepped out into the corridor. "You go that way, I'll go this," Harry said. "Give me a yell if you find Amos Diggory's office."

"No need for that, mate," Ron said, grinning. He pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket. "See, floor plan of the Ministry – there are SOME advantages in my dad working here."

"Nice one," Harry said appreciatively, poring over the plan. "Sooo – looks like we go along this corridor here, then turn right, and it should be the third office along on the left." As they walked along the corridor they passed a window streaming with icy sleet and rattling in sudden violent gusts of wind. "Magical Maintenance in a bad mood, then?" asked Harry, remembering what Mr Weasley had told him about the Ministry's enchanted underground windows.

"Yeah, Dad reckons they're a bit pissed off with their last pay rise – didn't get as much as the security wizards or something – oh look, this must be it." They had arrived in front of a solid oak door bearing a brass plaque engraved with several names. Amos Diggory's was at the bottom.

Diggory's desk was easily identified; it had a black-and-white wizard photograph of Cedric prominently displayed on top. Harry winced, suddenly feeling a strange reluctance to start searching the desk. Ron, however, had no such qualms. Harry stood back, guiltily watching his friend rummage through the drawers.

"Here," Ron said eventually, brandishing a piece of parchment. "I recognise this writing! It's Charlie's! And..." rapidly scanning the parchment "... it's a memo reporting those goblins who nobbled you, look..."

Harry came over and read the memo over Ron's shoulder. "Now that's interesting," he said. "Look what he's written on it..."

Scrawled boldly across the bottom of the parchment in red ink were the words no action to be taken. They were initialled AD.

"No action?" Ron said indignantly. "But Charlie said dragon baiting is seriously illegal; what's he mean, no action?"

"It just proves he's in it himself if you ask me," Harry said. "Covering up for them."

"I'm going to tell Charlie," Ron said.

"I shouldn't..." Harry said slowly. "Or if you do, make sure it's in confidence. We don't want Diggory finding out we've been searching his office, do we? And we don't really know what's been going on. Best keep it to ourselves till we know more."

They carried on poking around the office for a while, but without uncovering anything of any interest. Harry looked out for the record of Kreacher's arrest and interrogation, but if it existed, it wasn't anywhere to be found.

"We'd better go and join the others," Harry said at last. "I don't think there's anything else in here."

Using Ron's floor plan and a handy lift, they made their way to the Records Office, where they found Hermione and Tonks, ankle deep in parchment. Hermione, her bushy brown hair looking even wilder than usual, had Know Your Wizarding Families in one hand, and in the other a scroll so long it had unrolled halfway across the floor. Tonks was hauling yet more scrolls out of a dusty filing cabinet. There was no sign of Remus.

"How's it going?" Harry asked.

"Not too good," Tonks said, pushing all but one of the scrolls into his arms.

"It's hopeless," Hermione said despairingly. "I'm beginning to wonder whether there's anyone dodgy at the Ministry at all: maybe it's all moonshine..."

"Moonshine!" Harry exclaimed abruptly, dropping the scrolls. "Bloody hell, I just remembered – it's nearly full moon – Remus had better come home with me and I'll finish sorting out his potion for him. Er – where is he?"

"Said he had an idea, and wandered off," said Tonks, shrugging. "Dunno where he was going. He's always a bit weird this time of the month. 'Spect he'll be back soon." She went back to scanning the parchment she held in her hand.

Harry and Ron joined in the search through the parchment records. Harry had been hoping he might find a name corresponding to Kreacher's mutterings, but he soon began to find it a thankless task. There were so many names, in such tiny writing, it seemed hopeless. He was glad when Remus reappeared; it gave him an excuse to stop searching. "Remus, sorry, in all the excitement I was forgetting your potion. Come back to Hogwarts with me now, and I'll give it you," he said.

Remus nodded bemusedly. "Oh, thanks, Harry. Shall we go now?"

"We'd all better go soon," said Tonks. "Or Bob won't half create. I said we'd be well clear before Eric comes on duty."

"Yes, I suppose so," Hermione said, pointing her wand at the litter of scrolls on the floor; they promptly rolled themselves up neatly and flew back into place in the open drawers, which slammed shut behind them. "It's all been rather disappointing, though."

"Tell you what," said Tonks brightly. "Why don't you and me go for a girly night out? Haven't had a night out for ages." She squinted in concentration and her hair changed to a delicate shade of lilac, scattered with deep purple and gold sparkles. "How do I look?"

"Really nice," Hermione said, laughing. "Oh, OK then, but I can't stay too long... I've got to be back at Hogwarts first thing to help set the first years' end of term tests."

Ron groaned. "You're getting far too keen on this teaching lark, Hermione," he said. "I think I'll pop over to Diagon Alley, say hi to Fred and George. And I can tell them just what I think of the way they label their packaging," he added darkly.

**************************

It was night by the time Harry and Remus arrived at the gates of Hogwarts. Harry glanced apprehensively up at the starlit sky, but as yet there was no moon to be seen. They slipped through the icy grounds like shadows and arrived at Hagrid's hut. Remus looked around, puzzled.

"Here," said Harry, handing Remus a slip of parchment in Professor Flitwick's handwriting. As Remus read it his puzzled expression cleared and he smiled.

"Harry Potter's hiding place is the gamekeeper's hut formerly belonging to Rubeus Hagrid – I see my former colleague is as proficient as ever at complex Charms." And he followed Harry into the now-visible hut.

"Severus, I'm back!" Harry called. Then, in a more puzzled tone, "Severus?" He cast a quick glance around and stiffened as he saw Dobby lying unconscious on the rug in front of the fire. "Rennervate!" he commanded, pointing his wand at the house-elf's limp body.

Dobby's tennis-ball green eyes opened and he gazed up at Harry. "Harry Potter!" he squeaked. "Dobby must tell you... Professor Snape has gone into the Forbidden Forest!"

"WHAT!" Harry shouted. "Is he mad? With those psycho centaurs in there? Why didn't you stop him, Dobby?"

Tears came into the house-elf's large eyes. "Dobby tried, sir! But he failed and must punish himself!" So saying, he tried to push his hands into the blazing fire, but Harry grabbed him just in time and held him back.

"No, Dobby! I forbid you to punish yourself, right? Tell me exactly what happened, quickly!"

"Professor Snape said he was going into the Forest, sir," Dobby squeaked. "Dobby said he should not, that Harry Potter would not like it – and he said –" Dobby looked embarrassed and made a lunge for the fire again; Harry stopped him. "– he said Harry Potter should thank him, for he was going to get the memory of... of.. Harry Potter being fucked by Dark Wizards, sir... from the bad wizard in the Forest."

"And how did he think he was going to do that?" demanded Harry.

"He will be torturing him, sir!" squeaked Dobby. "If all else fails, he will be torturing him! Dobby said Harry Potter will not approve, and Professor Snape Stupified Dobby, sir!"

"Right," Harry said, trying to think. "Right... OK, Dobby, I'd better try and stop him. You stay here with Remus." He grabbed a goblet from the shelf and hastily filled it from the cauldron of Wolfsbane potion. "Here, get that down you, the moon'll be up any minute," he said to Remus, handing him the goblet. "I'll go into the Forest. Oh, Severus is a bloody nuisance..." And muttering crossly under his breath, Harry left the hut.

His feet slipping and sliding on the icy snow, his wand-light casting eerie blue shadows, he plunged into the silence of the night-time Forest. It took him several false starts to find his way through the tortuous paths, trying to remember the morning Crookshanks had led him, hung-over, to confront Quercus. The moon rose as he trudged through the snow and its light helped illuminate his path. At last the narrow track he was following opened out into a glade he recognised; at its far end stood the big oak where Quercus had built his winter refuge.

Harry stared up into the moonlit tree – something about its shape seemed unfamiliar. Maybe he'd got the wrong tree? But then he saw broken branches and a litter of twigs and moss strewn over the ground, the unmistakable remains of a squirrel's dray. His heart began to thump. Who had destroyed the dray, and why? What had happened to Quercus? And where, for Merlin's sake, was Severus?

As he stared at the ground, his thoughts whirling, something whistled past his ear and landed with a thunk in the oak tree. Harry spun round. A grim-looking black centaur was notching another arrow to his longbow. It was Bane, one of the most anti-wizard centaurs in the Forbidden Forest.

"Is there to be no end to this wizardly trespass amongst us?" bellowed Bane. "That sneaking little squirrel animagus who came to live in our domain spied on our most secret rutting rituals. And he was only the first of many!"

"But –" began Harry, thinking that many was rather an exaggerated description of himself and Snape, "but we didn't –"

"Silence, human!" roared Bane, furiously pounding his front hoof on the ground. "Rest assured, we shall make an example of YOU!" So saying he raised his hand in a signal. Harry looked wildly around and his stomach felt as though he'd suddenly plummeted in a lift.

Stepping quietly into the moonlit glade came another half dozen centaurs. All carried longbows with arrows notched and ready. None looked at all friendly.

TBC >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A/N Hi! *waves* Anyone still reading this? You've been awfully quiet lately... remember, feedback is love ;D