Tainted White

Dearest readers...a little early Christmas presentAnd a thank you for your patience......new chapter that needs to be read and reviewed. Thank you for sticking with me.


Draco Malfoy had a reason to fear for his life.
He had a reason to fear for his newfound fairytale of a life.

You see, he remembered how easy it was to live his life day by day, not caring if he's gonna see the sunrise in the morning. He remembered how easy it was walking not knowing if his next step is going to be his last.

It was so easy.

It was so easy when he had nothing to lose.

It was so easy when he didn't have a life to lose.
It was so much easier to be brave.

Today, he had a life to lose.

It terrified him thinking that maybe, maybe he was already losing it.

He was losing her.
She didn't have to say it.
He felt it.
Because when the first drops of spring rain touched the glass of the window, his house felt so much colder than any year before. The fire was burning. Yet it was cold.

He was shivering inside.

And he stopped asking her if she was ok. He knew she wasn't.
He never even asked if they were ok. It was obvious they weren't.

He was slowly losing his mind wondering if his daughter would be cursed to grow up in the same cold house he did. Seeing the same cold faces because her parents were both lost.

Unable to voice their fears.

'Are you afraid that she's only here because she feels obligated? To you? To your child? Don't you think she'd leave in a second if it wasn't for this little person...this little angel?

You know she loves her more than she loves you.
Does she even love you anymore?

How could she love you after what you made her lose?

You see now Draco, only now when you have them how hard it was for her to lose her family....Only now you see the hell she lived in. And you showed her no mercy.

It's killing you, isn't it....knowing that you could lose them any second?

It was killing her too.....and you can't tell if she's alive anymore. '


He was scared of being left alone only with memories of a life he was never meant to have.

He couldn't remember.
He couldn't remember the last time she touched him.

And he needed her so bad. He needed her to show him she's stilll here with him. He needed her to touch him. To kiss him. He needed her to be his again. His only.

No world, no newspapers, no child.....in one terribly selfish moment he wished it was all gone.

He wanted her surrender...he wanted it again. He needed it more than anything.



You should know, Draco, that one man's misery makes a shaky foundation for another's happiness.



He heard the door open behind him. He didn't bother to turn in his chair. His gaze was still fixed to the red fire in front of him.

It was cold.

He recognized her steps. She was barefoot.

It seemed strange to him, considering the cold.

''Draco...?'' She half whispered behind his back. ''Are you awake?''

He closed his eyes. ''Yes.''

Hermione couldn't put a colour to his voice. Was he sad? Angry? Sorry?

Hurt. Hermione...He's hurt. You're doing it all wrong.

''She's asleep finnaly...I'll just take a shower and go to bed....you coming?'' Hermione half whispered.She knew what was going on. But she didn't have the strength to deal with it.

''Why?... You want me to?'' With a complete resignation in his voice.

''Wh...are you drinking?''

''Yes, I am...Hermione.'' He said standing up.

''Around my child?'' She said while approaching him.

A bitter laugh from a man she loved. ''Oh, yes...It's wrong to let her see her father drinking...seeing him ruined is a much nicer picture. '' He took a sip and placed an empty glass on the table. ''She is mine too...'' He said and his eyes pierced through her. '' I do remember the night I made her. Vividly.'' She felt a light blush warming her cheeks. ''But you seem to want to forget,'' he finnished.

''What are you talking about?'' Hermione muttered.

You know what he's talking about Hermione. Don't play dumb.

''Oh, you've forgotten already? You should join me for a drink then. It'll help you remember.'' So, he's mocking you....serves you right.

He was standing in front of her. Sad and beautiful. He was looking at her....in that manner that made her insides burn. That stopped her breathing. That made her shaking with anticipation. Anticipation turning into need. Into fear. He was still a mystery to her.

So when he took a step towards her, and when his finger traced her jaw, she was actually surprised. When he leaned down to watch her more closely, she really didn't expect it. She thought he gave up on her. On them.

Desperate looked so good on him. Achingly.

And then a whisper...that voice that made her close her eyes...''Maybe if you remembered how it felt to have me...inside you...around you...above you...maybe you'd reach out for me again.''

And it was as if it never happened before. As if she never had him this close.

''Draco...''
''Tell me...tell me how it felt. Because I see the flashes...images of your damp skin and I remember how surreal it felt against mine...I hear the sounds...your breathless moans...''

''Please...''

And he couldn't tell anymore if she was begging him to stop or to go on.

''But what it turned me on beyond belief....every time...how you'd part your lips each time I'd enter you....like you didn't expect it...like it surprised you...''

''Draco....''

''Tell me how it felt...for you...because I can only guess...''

Lips on her neck....sucking the life out of her.
''Don't torture me...please.'' She begged.

''Me wanting to make love to you is a torture?'' He was angry.

''Don't put words into my mouth.'' Trying to fix it, Hermione? Please do.

''Then speak your own words Hermione.'' The voice was no longer a whisper. It was a roaring storm threatening to explode. '' Explain yourself. Is this my punishment? For taking you away from them? Sleeping in the same bed unable to reach for you?...Come on...voice your thoughts...so I can trash them.''

She backed away. Closer to the door. Trying to put the distance between them. But Draco Malfoy was sick of distance. And he was erasing it. Tonight.

''Answer me! I'm sick of this....sick of you walking around like a fucking ghost. '' He saw the damned tears in her eyes again. He was tired of her tears. ''They're gone...live with it. They abondened you. It's over. Done. ''

Don't you want to slap him Hermione? Hurt him as much as his words are hurting you?

He caught her hand before it connected with his cheek. Pulled her roughly to his chest, and slammed her hands to the wall behind her. ''Guess they didn't love you that much after all...'' he whispered...the fire in his eyes turning into hunger...''I would have forgiven you anything.''

With her hands pressed tightly to the door behind her, she leaned in and kissed his neck.



When her kisses came to his lips she felt his hands at the back of her head, pulling her closer...she felt his tongue entering her mouth and she realized how much she missed him........

When her fingers reached the heated skin of his stomach he couldn't tell if it was pain or ecstasy....

Her palms went flat up to his chest and he took a moment to see her teary face and swollen lips but at the sme time fought not to close his eyes.

She pulled the sweater and the t-shirt underneath it together over his head, and when she did his fingers pressed into her hips and roughly pulled her closer. She heard a sharp intake of breath from him and she moaned when she felt his erection between her legs...her lips went to his throat, fingers unzipped his pants and he picked her up and put her on the liquor table with the glass breaking around them.

She felt his hands squezing her ass and seeking her bare skin under the pajama shirt that belonged to him but she enjoyed wearing...hands went up her back, and just above her wiast they slid on her front side, touching the skin over her ribs, cupping her breasts, ripping the buttons and circling her throath, to pull her into a thirsty kiss.

That's how it happened.

Fast and hungry....raw and hard...wet and salty...like it used to happen before. When there was no world, no newspapers, no child...He was inside her before she even realized she was naked, controling her movements as always...watching her with those eyes she was scared of looking into because they were freezing and melting her at the same time. He had too much control over her.

When she let her exhausted body lean against his afterwards she forgot. He actually made her forget. She forgot about everyone else. She forgot she was a mother. For a moment there...they were alone.

That's what he did.

When he wrapped her into his arms.

He made her forget.



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