Hermione\'s Revenge

Epilogue

Severus and Hermione were married at a large ceremony that was held at Hogwarts and performed by Albus. The entire wizarding community had to be present, because Snape had taught potions to most of the younger wizards and they had to witness the dreaded Potions Master getting married. It was too difficult to comprehend his beautiful bride, twenty years his junior, would voluntarily marry him.

The wedding was a combination of wizard and muggle traditions. Hermione wore an elegant white wedding gand and her father proudly gave her away. Her mother cried along with Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey as all women do at weddings. Severus’ family all wore black to the wedding, not because they were protesting him marrying a muggleborn witch, but black is their signature color.

At wizard weddings, two witnesses are needed, whether male or female, so Hermione chose Harry and Ron. Severus agreed, because his only goal in life was to make Hermione’s dreams come true and if it included the Boy-Who-Lived and a Weasley, then so be it.

She finished her education and accepted a job at Hogwarts as the new Professor of Arithmancy. She continued to torment Snape, but he did not mind since her torments were now sexually endured. Neither one could believe that love had found them, but they didn’t question it, as they loved each other for the rest of their lives.


~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Wow! I can’t believe it’s over! I have enjoyed writing about this st I I don’t think I will ever be able to top it! I have to thank Amanda for her list, 404 Ways to Annoy Snape, because she is the one who provided the ideas. Chango Boy and I just applied them to our story. I need to also thank my beta, Cassandra. She had done a fabulous job! English is her second language. The English she speaks is British and the English I speak is American, so it made an interesting job for the both of us. *smile*

I am including the parts of the list, 404 Ways to Annoy Snape that I used in this story. I have written them down exactly as Amanda has listed them. You will notice that I did elaborate on some of them.

Thank you to all of you who read this story and to those of you who reviewed. You are all very precious to me, because my writing is special to me and for you to want to read it means a lot.

I am taking a small break from writing since I will be having surgery on June 11. I already have another story in the making, but I need to get through this surgery first. Take care and God Bless!

Hugs,
Corazon

1. Tell him you\'ve lost your pet werewolf and has he seen it?

2. Scatter rose-petals in front of him wherever he goes.

3. Sneak up behind him and shout \'Your robes are on fire!\'

4. Hug him. Say you were on strict instructions from Dumbledore to do it.

5. Go \'Da-da-da-dum!\' in a deep voice anytime he passes by or enters a room.

6. Replace all Slytherin insignia in his quarters with that of
Hufflepuff.

7. Make a voodoo doll of Harry Potter. Push pins into it in class and smile knowingly at Snape.

8. Leave him invitations to Sirius Black\'s \'Birthday party at the Whomping Willow\'

9. Leave copies of Lockhart\'s biography all around the place.

10. Introduce him with the words \"Here is a man who not only has a brilliant mind and a wonderful wit, but can also sing.\'

11. Eat chocolate cake in class. Offer to let him lick the plate clean.

12. Owl him long and detailed accounts of your summer holidays.

13. Dress like him and dye your hair black. Refer to yourself as \'Mini-Snape\'

14. Ask him what his middle name is.

15. Leave a well-worn and sickeningly cute teddy bear where it can be easily seen by staff and students. Ensure it has a tag, written in a child\'s hand, stating that he \'belongs to Severus\' and is called \'Chuckles\'

16. Make casual but loud references to Harry Potter being considered for an Order of Merlin.

17. If you\'re a gutsy Gryffindor, draw a lightening-bolt scar on his forehead when he\'s asleep.

18. If you\'re a well-read Ravenclaw, bring large piles of books to class, and verify anything he states. Loudly. (i.e.: \'He\'s right you know! or \'He\'s done it again!\')

19. If you\'re a feisty Faculty member, flick things at him during dinner at the High Table.

20. Get your potion horribly wrong. Smile when he berates you and ask if that deserves a detention.

21. Imply that you think Professor Lupin was the only deserving applicant for the Dark Arts job.

22. Leave anonymous notes on his desks. Have them say things like
\'Remember that summer in 72, Severus dear?\' or \'Meet me in the restricted section...and bring a friend!\'

23. Publish a newsletter detailing his life and everyday activities.
Call it \'The Daily Snape\'

24. Ask him why he saved Harry Potter. Ask him every day.

25. Knock over your cauldron, spill it everywhere and shout \'Surf\'s up,
Sir!\'

26. Transfigure all his quills into giant purple peacock feathers.

27. Ask him at the end of every Potions lesson if he knows a good love-potion.

28. Find out the passwords to his office and private chambers. Cast a spell to change them to \'Fluffy White Kittens\' and \'Flowers & Lollipops\'

29. Call him Severus.

30. If you\'re brave, call him Sev.

31. If you\'re really brave, call him \'Sevvie-kins\'.

32. If you\'re suicidal, call him \'Precious-little-Sevvie-kins\'

33. When he\'s teaching, say \'Delicious\' or \'Scrumptious!\' after every ingredient he lists off.

34. Ask him about his private life and personal hygiene.

35. Send him Valentines in February.

36. To avoid suspicion and create more annoyance, give vague hints in these Valentines that they are from a certain blonde Slytherin.

37. Offer him sweets. Every chance you get. Insist that he try the green ones.

38. Set his robes on fire.

39. Find out when his birthday is. Throw a surprise party. Shower him with gold ribbons and pink balloons.

40. Make a habit out of grabbing Harry Potter and dragging him into
Snape\'s office by his ears, crying \'Here he is Sir! I\'ve got him!\'

41. Turn in all your essays on perfumed paper covered in scribbled little love-hearts.

42. Procure some ferret-droppings. Leave a large pile of them in his desk. Insist that Draco Malfoy did it.

43. Fall completely, head-over-heels in love with him. Let everybody know about it.

44. Ask him if he\'s ticklish. Tell him if he lies \'you\'ll know\'.

45. Offer to \'bewitch his mind and ensnare his senses.\'

46. Conclude potions lessons with the words \'See you next time folks!
Same bat time! Same bat channel!\'

47. Sign him up for Madam Hooch\'s new class. \'Physical Fitness for the
Mentally Depressed\'

48. Every time his back is turned in class, move one seat closer to him.
Continue until you are directly in front of him or the lesson ends.

49. Sit with him at Quidditch matches. Promise loudly to \'protect him from those nasty little Gryffindor girls.\'

50. Tell him at great length about your newly brewed potion, which you have called \'brown-gunk-in-a-bottle\'.

51. Should he ever sarcastically enquire if you would like a detention, hold up a hand and say \'I will not be swayed by your sweet words of temptation!\'

52. Transfigure his cauldron into a large sack of milk-duds.

53. \'Forget healing potions, Sir! Lets bottle some fame!\'

54. Volunteer to assist him. Drop or break anything he requires you to be in contact with.

55. Ask when he\'s \'gonna get to the brewing glory part?\'

56. Leave Harry Potter bound and gagged outside Snape\'s rooms every morning for a year.

57. Ponder aloud on the color of his underwear.

58. While he\'s out, fill his rooms completely, wall-to-wall, floor to ceiling, with balloons.

59. Refer to him as \'Lord and Master of all things Slimy\'

60. Trip him up in the halls. Every single chance you get.

61. Approach. Kneel. Propose. Run.

62. Enquire of him if he would like to borrow some shampoo.

63. As he stalks by, enquire loudly of your friends if he \'isn\'t just the cutest little thing you ever die?\'e?\'

64. Enquire after his boxers.

65. Ask him if he\'s \'sure about that, sir?\' whenever he states a fact in class.

66. \'Are you cheating on me?\'

67. Chant softly. \'Snape Snape Snape...\' whenever he walks by. Continue until he is out of hearing range.

68. When he looks like he\'s about to snap at someone shout \'Sic \'em
Severus!\'

69. If he is more than 5 feet away from you, but still within striking distance, launch yourself at him.

70. At the end of each potions class, leave him a \'report card\' detailing how you think he did that lesson. Comments like \'has potential\' \'adequate\' and \'moderately intimidating\' are perfect.

71. Greet him for the first time each day with the warning \'You stay out of my dreams, you master of temptation, you.\'

72. When he attempts to scare you in class, yawn, look bored and tell him you\'re \'Sorry, but the thrill is just gone.\'

73. \'How\'s that rash healing up, Professor?\'

74. Be seen licking your fingers clean after Potions Class.

75. \'Severus Snape! What WOULD your mother think?\'

76. End each class with a wink and a \'See you tonight, Professor\' put sarcastic emphasis on the word \'Professor\'.

77. Tell him, when he gets livid over some incident or other, \'Take a time-out now, Sevvie, go face the wall.\'

78. ‘There, there, Professor. You\'ll get your Order of Merlin someday,
I\'m sure.’

79. Tell him you\'re sure Draco Malfoy has a secret crush on him.

80. Lick your lips hungrily throughout Potions Class. Stare at some of the more grotesque contents of his jars.

81. If somebody wakes you, mutter as if coming out of a dream \"Severus, dear, come back to bed.\"

82. Sing that awful \'song that never ends\' in an incredibly high pitched voice during class.

83. Upon the announcement of one of the many detentions you are bound to receive, whip out a diary and attempt to schedule a time \'Well, I\'m all booked out Tuesday, um.... Thursday, is Thursday good for you?\'

84. Attempt to hide inside his robes whenever Neville Longbottom\'s potion threatens to explode.

85. Ask him if he\'s got a girlfriend.

86. Fall asleep in Potions.

87. Find out when his birthday is. Throw a surprise party. Shower him with gold ribbons and pink balloons.

88. Enjoy his classes a little *too* much.

89. Bake him a cake!

90. \'Accio Snape!

91. Hide under your desk in potions. Pretend you\'re sure he can\'t see you, even if he bends to look
straight down on you.

92. Hide in his office and giggle until he finds you.

93. Bake him a cake.

94. Set your own robes on fire. Insist that he save you.