Funerals and Weddings
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Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
63
Views:
24,914
Reviews:
272
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Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
63
Views:
24,914
Reviews:
272
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Ch. 15: Talking
For disclaimer, summary, story codes and other information, please see the prologue.
Chapter the Fifteenth: Talking
24 September, continued: same DADA class period
It was then that Marchbanks issued his next unorthodox set of instructions: to get with their partners, enclose themselves in a bubble…and talk.
“Talk?” Ernie Macmillan asked, perplexed. “What do you want us to talk about?”
“As I said, you must be able to trust your partner. So I want you to get to know each other a little. Please be open with each other—discuss your strengths and weaknesses, especially in the areas of casting and defence of Dark Magics. Talk about your experiences. Share any doubts or fears you have, in particular those that may relate to this course. And—this is important—choose a ‘safety’ word and a ‘help’ word. The safety word will be used between the two of you if one feels overwhelmed or unsafe or in need of a break—say the word and your partner is obligated to stop. The help word will be to get my attention should you need it in an emergency. At the end of your chat, I will ask you to write up an oath—including the class rules I have discussed with you, your safety and help words and anything else you and your partner feel is important. Sign it and return it to me at the end of class. Don’t fret—only my eyes will see your parchment—it shall not be for public consumption. Questions? No? Well, then—begin!”
Harry caught Draco’s eye and motioned with a jerk of his head to an open space at the back of the hall. Harry cast the Bubble Charm before turning to look at Draco. An awkward silence ensued. Finally, Harry spoke:
“Well, Malfoy, we’d best get started. Shall we sit?” Suiting actions to words, Harry sat crossed-legged on the floor. Draco did as well, arranging his robes around him.
“Well, I guess I’ll start,” Harry said, a little nervous with Draco’s silence. “I’ll begin by saying thanks for the notes you loaned me for Potions—I got an “E+” on the assignment. The notes really helped.”
To Harry’s surprise, Draco smiled. Had he ever seen Malfoy smile—not smirk—before? “Too bad you didn’t manage an “O” but an “E+” is quite good—especially from Snape. Good on you.”
Harry’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Malfoy…did you just give me…a compliment?” He was even more discomfited when Draco ducked his head and nodded. Harry, ever curious, pushed. “Why?”
Draco looked up. “Because you deserve it. But I know that’s not what you are really asking—you’re asking why I, Draco Malfoy, would give you, Harry Potter, a compliment. The truth is…I’m…tired. Tired of petty rivalries. Tired of fighting. Tired of aping Lucius to the point that I don’t really know who I am anymore...” The blonde trailed off, looking a bit uncomfortable at having revealed so much.
Harry sat for a moment, bemused. He cocked his head and regarded Draco thoughtfully. “Are you asking for a truce, Malfoy?”
Draco’s laugh was self-deprecating. “Yes, I suppose am I. I wouldn’t blame you if you refused, but I hope that at least during this class we can declare a cease-fire. I think…I think we could learn a lot from each other if we try.”
Harry nodded. “I agree. Tell you what. We’ll start with a truce for DADA classes. If all goes well for the next week or so, I’m willing to entertain the idea of more…permanent…truce. I’ll be honest with you though—it’s not going to be easy for me to trust you. Old habits die hard and I’ve spent the last five years watching my back around you. To be blunt, you’ll be earning my trust; I’m not just giving it to you. I can’t.”
Smiling wryly, Draco nodded. “How very practical of you. Rather Slytherin, if truth be told; I thought it was part of the Gryffindor code to offer loyalty and trust to all. But I understand; I’d feel the same way if I were in your shoes. I know I haven’t…well, I’ve spent a lot of time hating you and I’ve done things to show how much I hated you.”
Harry smirked. “Well, this Gryffindor at least follows the motto of “once bitten, twice shy.” And you’ve bitten me—and my friends—far more than once. So it will take some time,” Harry paused, then decided to ask the question he’d wanted to ask for a long time: “Malfoy, why do you hate me?”
Draco was silent for a few moments, thinking. He’d wanted an opportunity to try and end his animosity with Harry. He wanted to spend time with him—time not spent insulting each other. The Dream only came a few times a week now—not nightly—but it was enough to create such a…longing…inside of him. He’d never wanted anything the way he wanted The Dream to become reality.
He remembered Dumbledore’s admonition about needing patience in regard to his dreams and about needing to keep his switch of loyalties secret. He knew he still needed to be seen as a future Death Eater—this plan had been worked out in a subsequent meeting with the Headmaster, with the approval of the Order. This way Draco’s housemates would still speak freely around him and Draco could report any information that could be of value to the Order. It pained Draco some to spy this way on his friends, but not nearly the way it pained him to keep up his Malfoy persona with Harry. Warring with himself over the issues, he’d finally come to the conclusion that he could maintain his cover without having to torture Harry— if he could manufacture a way to negotiate a truce. He’d lent Harry his Potion notes as a small step in laying groundwork for broaching a truce—but now, being assigned as Harry’s partner provided the perfect opportunity. If anyone questioned his lack of ill will towards Harry, he could use the partnership as his excuse. Now he just had to figure out how much he could safely say to Harry without giving anything away.
Taking a deep breath, Draco spoke. “Did hate you. Past tense. As to why…I guess I had a lot of time to think this past summer. Take a look at myself, you know? And…well, I didn’t like what I saw. I saw a carbon-copy of Lucius. Naturally, I’ve tried to please him my entire life—but I don’t want to be him. I want to be my own man. There are still many things that Lucius believes that I believe as well (Draco almost choked saying this but he had to keep his Death Eater Wannabe status intact and intimating that he still shared Lucius’ ideas about Mudbloods and the Dark Lord was a way to do it), but that only means that I’ve actually thought it through, instead of just mindlessly taking on his ideas as my own. I make my own decisions now. So to answer your question, I think I only hated you because my—Lucius hated you. I’ve grown up hearing him curse your name. Hating you wasn’t something I particularly decided to do, it was something I learnt to do. I’m not trying to absolve myself of blame—I mean, I wasn’t under the Imperius Curse or anything so my actions were my own—I’m just trying to explain how it all got started, I guess. Hating you was a habit and one I never thought to break until this past summer,” He paused. “Does that…make sense?” Draco finished and looked at Harry seriously.
“Yeah, I get it. I can see how growing up with an idea your whole life—especially one that a man you practically worship espouses—could become…well, the truth, in a way. A fact of life. You’re right that it doesn’t excuse your own behaviour in the time I’ve known you, but it does help me understand the motive behind it. May I ask why you decided not to agree with your father’s hatred of me?” Harry was still curious, and a little suspicious.
Draco hesitated. “Well, it’s a really long story and one I’m not sure I’m ready to tell you yet anyways. Besides which, it’s almost the end of class and we have to decide our words and write our oath. Shall we get on with that then?” Draco hoped his avoidance of the question wasn’t too obvious.
Of course, it was obvious and Harry wanted to push but there was something in Draco’s expression that held him back. His gut was telling him the Slytherin was sincere, but years of conditioning were hard to overcome. Deciding to take things as they happened, Harry nodded.
“Right. Ideas for a ‘safety’ word then?” he asked.
Just as class came to a close, Draco and Harry signed their oath, which in addition to the required elements, added a stipulation that secrets shared between the two of them would be kept as secrets. Both felt better including this clause. It would help them build some trust if they knew the other couldn’t betray them. As he left the class with Ron and Hermione, Harry was still puzzling over Draco’s suggestion of “Lumos” as their safety word (Harry had picked “wand” for their ‘help’ word). Draco had said that it was one of the first spells he learnt as a child, so he could see in the dark and that it had always made him feel safer when he was young. Harry had a niggling suspicion that Draco’s explanation was nothing but a fluffy bit of waffle, but he couldn’t think of any other reason and hadn’t questioned Draco further. Joining Hermione and Ron’s conversation, Harry put the matter from his mind for the time being.
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A/N: Again, I know there’s not a lot of action but this chapter was originally part of Ch. 14 and I thought it was waaaaay too long so I split it into 2 chapters. We’ll venture into Harry’s dreams in Ch. 16… just a little teaser! Reviews feed the muse! Thanks!
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Chapter the Fifteenth: Talking
24 September, continued: same DADA class period
It was then that Marchbanks issued his next unorthodox set of instructions: to get with their partners, enclose themselves in a bubble…and talk.
“Talk?” Ernie Macmillan asked, perplexed. “What do you want us to talk about?”
“As I said, you must be able to trust your partner. So I want you to get to know each other a little. Please be open with each other—discuss your strengths and weaknesses, especially in the areas of casting and defence of Dark Magics. Talk about your experiences. Share any doubts or fears you have, in particular those that may relate to this course. And—this is important—choose a ‘safety’ word and a ‘help’ word. The safety word will be used between the two of you if one feels overwhelmed or unsafe or in need of a break—say the word and your partner is obligated to stop. The help word will be to get my attention should you need it in an emergency. At the end of your chat, I will ask you to write up an oath—including the class rules I have discussed with you, your safety and help words and anything else you and your partner feel is important. Sign it and return it to me at the end of class. Don’t fret—only my eyes will see your parchment—it shall not be for public consumption. Questions? No? Well, then—begin!”
Harry caught Draco’s eye and motioned with a jerk of his head to an open space at the back of the hall. Harry cast the Bubble Charm before turning to look at Draco. An awkward silence ensued. Finally, Harry spoke:
“Well, Malfoy, we’d best get started. Shall we sit?” Suiting actions to words, Harry sat crossed-legged on the floor. Draco did as well, arranging his robes around him.
“Well, I guess I’ll start,” Harry said, a little nervous with Draco’s silence. “I’ll begin by saying thanks for the notes you loaned me for Potions—I got an “E+” on the assignment. The notes really helped.”
To Harry’s surprise, Draco smiled. Had he ever seen Malfoy smile—not smirk—before? “Too bad you didn’t manage an “O” but an “E+” is quite good—especially from Snape. Good on you.”
Harry’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Malfoy…did you just give me…a compliment?” He was even more discomfited when Draco ducked his head and nodded. Harry, ever curious, pushed. “Why?”
Draco looked up. “Because you deserve it. But I know that’s not what you are really asking—you’re asking why I, Draco Malfoy, would give you, Harry Potter, a compliment. The truth is…I’m…tired. Tired of petty rivalries. Tired of fighting. Tired of aping Lucius to the point that I don’t really know who I am anymore...” The blonde trailed off, looking a bit uncomfortable at having revealed so much.
Harry sat for a moment, bemused. He cocked his head and regarded Draco thoughtfully. “Are you asking for a truce, Malfoy?”
Draco’s laugh was self-deprecating. “Yes, I suppose am I. I wouldn’t blame you if you refused, but I hope that at least during this class we can declare a cease-fire. I think…I think we could learn a lot from each other if we try.”
Harry nodded. “I agree. Tell you what. We’ll start with a truce for DADA classes. If all goes well for the next week or so, I’m willing to entertain the idea of more…permanent…truce. I’ll be honest with you though—it’s not going to be easy for me to trust you. Old habits die hard and I’ve spent the last five years watching my back around you. To be blunt, you’ll be earning my trust; I’m not just giving it to you. I can’t.”
Smiling wryly, Draco nodded. “How very practical of you. Rather Slytherin, if truth be told; I thought it was part of the Gryffindor code to offer loyalty and trust to all. But I understand; I’d feel the same way if I were in your shoes. I know I haven’t…well, I’ve spent a lot of time hating you and I’ve done things to show how much I hated you.”
Harry smirked. “Well, this Gryffindor at least follows the motto of “once bitten, twice shy.” And you’ve bitten me—and my friends—far more than once. So it will take some time,” Harry paused, then decided to ask the question he’d wanted to ask for a long time: “Malfoy, why do you hate me?”
Draco was silent for a few moments, thinking. He’d wanted an opportunity to try and end his animosity with Harry. He wanted to spend time with him—time not spent insulting each other. The Dream only came a few times a week now—not nightly—but it was enough to create such a…longing…inside of him. He’d never wanted anything the way he wanted The Dream to become reality.
He remembered Dumbledore’s admonition about needing patience in regard to his dreams and about needing to keep his switch of loyalties secret. He knew he still needed to be seen as a future Death Eater—this plan had been worked out in a subsequent meeting with the Headmaster, with the approval of the Order. This way Draco’s housemates would still speak freely around him and Draco could report any information that could be of value to the Order. It pained Draco some to spy this way on his friends, but not nearly the way it pained him to keep up his Malfoy persona with Harry. Warring with himself over the issues, he’d finally come to the conclusion that he could maintain his cover without having to torture Harry— if he could manufacture a way to negotiate a truce. He’d lent Harry his Potion notes as a small step in laying groundwork for broaching a truce—but now, being assigned as Harry’s partner provided the perfect opportunity. If anyone questioned his lack of ill will towards Harry, he could use the partnership as his excuse. Now he just had to figure out how much he could safely say to Harry without giving anything away.
Taking a deep breath, Draco spoke. “Did hate you. Past tense. As to why…I guess I had a lot of time to think this past summer. Take a look at myself, you know? And…well, I didn’t like what I saw. I saw a carbon-copy of Lucius. Naturally, I’ve tried to please him my entire life—but I don’t want to be him. I want to be my own man. There are still many things that Lucius believes that I believe as well (Draco almost choked saying this but he had to keep his Death Eater Wannabe status intact and intimating that he still shared Lucius’ ideas about Mudbloods and the Dark Lord was a way to do it), but that only means that I’ve actually thought it through, instead of just mindlessly taking on his ideas as my own. I make my own decisions now. So to answer your question, I think I only hated you because my—Lucius hated you. I’ve grown up hearing him curse your name. Hating you wasn’t something I particularly decided to do, it was something I learnt to do. I’m not trying to absolve myself of blame—I mean, I wasn’t under the Imperius Curse or anything so my actions were my own—I’m just trying to explain how it all got started, I guess. Hating you was a habit and one I never thought to break until this past summer,” He paused. “Does that…make sense?” Draco finished and looked at Harry seriously.
“Yeah, I get it. I can see how growing up with an idea your whole life—especially one that a man you practically worship espouses—could become…well, the truth, in a way. A fact of life. You’re right that it doesn’t excuse your own behaviour in the time I’ve known you, but it does help me understand the motive behind it. May I ask why you decided not to agree with your father’s hatred of me?” Harry was still curious, and a little suspicious.
Draco hesitated. “Well, it’s a really long story and one I’m not sure I’m ready to tell you yet anyways. Besides which, it’s almost the end of class and we have to decide our words and write our oath. Shall we get on with that then?” Draco hoped his avoidance of the question wasn’t too obvious.
Of course, it was obvious and Harry wanted to push but there was something in Draco’s expression that held him back. His gut was telling him the Slytherin was sincere, but years of conditioning were hard to overcome. Deciding to take things as they happened, Harry nodded.
“Right. Ideas for a ‘safety’ word then?” he asked.
Just as class came to a close, Draco and Harry signed their oath, which in addition to the required elements, added a stipulation that secrets shared between the two of them would be kept as secrets. Both felt better including this clause. It would help them build some trust if they knew the other couldn’t betray them. As he left the class with Ron and Hermione, Harry was still puzzling over Draco’s suggestion of “Lumos” as their safety word (Harry had picked “wand” for their ‘help’ word). Draco had said that it was one of the first spells he learnt as a child, so he could see in the dark and that it had always made him feel safer when he was young. Harry had a niggling suspicion that Draco’s explanation was nothing but a fluffy bit of waffle, but he couldn’t think of any other reason and hadn’t questioned Draco further. Joining Hermione and Ron’s conversation, Harry put the matter from his mind for the time being.
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A/N: Again, I know there’s not a lot of action but this chapter was originally part of Ch. 14 and I thought it was waaaaay too long so I split it into 2 chapters. We’ll venture into Harry’s dreams in Ch. 16… just a little teaser! Reviews feed the muse! Thanks!
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