When Living Ain\'t Easy

This one\'s the last til Monday, but it covers a few important bits that I wanted told.

Okay, plus the fact that I\'ve barely had two spare brain cells to rub together since Monday. Mom\'s feeling somewhat better, meaning that she\'s up and talking and bossing and ordering all sorts of things done that can\'t be done by one 30-*cough*-something woman with a bad back. But yeah, she goes back to work today, so I had time to whip this one up.

For everyone who\'s reviewed recently, big huge sugary messy kisses! It\'s such a pick-me-up to find my inbox loaded with your comments and good wishes. Especially about Mommy Dearest and her wire hangers. She\'s driving me crazy, but at least her health is much improved.

Possible note of interest for those of you who\'ve grumbled about the brevity of each chapter -- they\'re going to start getting longer... uh... have no idea how long this story\'ll end up, but with alot of the plot devices I\'ve got in mind, it might be a doozy, so expect 1) longer chapters soonish and 2) at least 35+ chaps. I just can\'t seem to write \"Harry hates Slytherins. Harry has wet dreams and shags Slytherins, even thought he hates them. Harry flipflops from hate to love after shagging said Slytherins.\" Love reading those on occassion, but can\'t write it worth shite.

Anyways, before this bundle of author\'s notes gets bigger than the actual chapter, let\'s move along, shall we?

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Chapter Fifteen : Exchanging Ingredients

Harry always felt at home in a kitchen. Besides cooking for the Dursleys, he had spent many pleasant hours in Hogwarts\' kitchen with Dobby, as well as helping out at the Weasleys\'. It wasn\'t like flying -- a natural talent -- cooking was something he had worked hard at learning.

Pulling out the proposed ingredients, he quickly started a creamy alfredo sauce in one pan and put water on to boil in another. The crab legs were already cooked, just needing to be heated up and added to sauce and pasta. Next he rummaged through the crisper for greens, pleased to find fresh spinach, carrots, sprouts, and chives.

By the time Severus joined him, Harry had the meal well in hand. The Potions Master huffed in mock annoyance, then proceeded to whip up a light vinagrette dressing. He sliced bread into thick portions, coated them with butter and minced garlic, and slid them into the oven to toast. Putting a kettle on for tea, he stepped back to watch his student\'s easy movements.

\"You won\'t offend me if you taste test anything for seasoning,\" came a soft voice intruding on Severus\' thoughts. Head bowed to the cutting board, Harry\'s even slicing never faltered.

\"After having sampled your handiwork at breakfast, I am confident that you won\'t poison us, Harry.\" Severus watched each neat cut being made, concluding that he should pay closer attention to his class\'s behavior. \"Actually, I was wondering about an entirely different matter.\"

The Gryffindor made an encouraging sound for his teacher to continue, never faltering in his careful slicing of chives and sprouts.

\"It has not passed notice by any of us how... calmly you are taking this arrangement. Knowing your history with Draco and myself, and worse with Lucius, one must question your sanity for such easy acceptance.\"

A soft chuckle was the nly response for several minutes while Harry completed his task. Finally he rinsed the knife, tossed all the vegetables into a bowl for a quick stir, and cleaned his workspace before turning to address the older man.

\"There\'s not much to tell, Severus. I\'m better off here than with my relatives. And the third alternative is much less appealing. Grimmauld Place... holds too many bad feelings,\" he said, adding a smile to soften the reminder. \"Besides, what else should I have done? Throwing a fit wouldn\'t have done much good, not with three wands turned on me.\"

Snape smirked in true amusement. \"Well yes, I can see that being a detering factor. However, you have not complained overmuch even after the wands went down.\"

\"Yeah, but try to look at it this way. If I were with the Dursleys, I\'d be mostly starved, overworked, ignored and/or ridiculed, probably beaten, and forbidden to even think about magic.\" Harry broke eye contact, opting to stare out the window. \"No matter how odd this may seem to you, I\'d rather be here than with them. And if you\'re honest about increasing my training, then it\'s even better. I can\'t afford to do most of the things my classmates do at my age. Make career choices? Hah! While all my friends are trying to figure out what to do with their futures, I\'d be happy just to know that I\'ll have one. If I manage to somehow survive beyond Riddle\'s little grudge, then I\'ll take the time to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.\"

As serious as his words were, the Gryffindor managed to end on a flippant note, drawing his eyes back to his teacher. \"If you\'re waiting for a temper tantrum or me shouting at the fates for their injustice, I\'m sorry to disappoint you. Right now I need all my energy focused on learning how to survive and get rid of the Dark Weenie.\" Here he paused to grin a truly evil smile. \"And just maybe give him a taste of his own medicine.\"

An eyebrow raised in question, Severus asked, \"I may regret asking, but what sort of \'medicine\' do you have in mind?\"

The mischievous grin brightened even further. \"Well... you know he\'s been sending me all sorts of hellacious visions, plus the nightmares and bleeding headaches... so I sorta had \'an eye for an eye\' planned out. There\'s gotta be a way to do that, right? Maybe a charm or potion that\'ll force him to suffer another round of teenage angst and hormones? It\'d be loads of fun for everyone involved if Tommy Boy were to have his sleep interrupted by so many inappropriate \'visions\' of his own. And I\'m sure we can supply him with enough of those.\"

Before Snape had the chance to ask for examples, the Malfoy men entered the room. \"Ah Harry, this smells wonderful!\" Lucius exclaimed over the growling of his stomach. \"And what have you two been discussing? You look like you\'re plotting something most devious.\"

Momentarily detoured from drinking in the delicious aromas, Draco\'s ears perked at his father\'s observation. He eyed his classmate warily. \"You\'re not going to aim your next prank at me, are you Potter? That would be most unkind after all the help I gave with your hair.\"

Harry replied in the most mature manner -- he stuck out his tongue at the blond.

Severus retrieved plates and silverware from the cupboard, then he assisted the Gryffindor in piling them high with the prepared meal. As all four men took their respective seats, he decided to enlighten the blonds on what he and Harry hahd been talking over.

\"Our Mr. Potter,\" he began as the rest dug into their food, \"has decided that the Dark Loard formerly known as Riddle needs to experience a resurgence of his teen years. I believe something was mentioned about angst and wet dreams.\"

Quickly swallowing his bite of salad, Harry nodded emphatically. \"Oh, I think he deserves it. A few perverted dreams to leave him unsettled and wondering where the hell *that* combination came from. Add in a healthy dose of inferiority complex, with a dash of \'nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I\'m going to go eat worms\' thrown in for good measure.\"

The chunk of crab meat didn\'t stay lodged in Draco\'s nose for long.

Harry\'s eyebrows nearly reached orbit. \"Don\'t tell me that you\'ve never heard that line before! It\'s one of the classic kids\' complaints. I think some children\'s poet even put it to verse.\" Seeing his companions shaking their heads, he tried to clarify, \"Okay then, even better. If you three have never heard it, then Lord Thingie surely missed it too. Which means we can use the original line as a subconscious smoke screen, layering other things beneath it.\"

\"As amusing as this is, shouldn\'t we be concentrating on more serious issues?\" Lucius asked, twirling a fork through his pasta. \"I shudder to think what His Royal Arse would be like caught in the midst of a second puberty.\"

\"Agreed! Harry, we should focus on your training above all else.\"

He couldn\'t help it. Honestly. Interrupting Severus just came as a bonus. \"There\'s always a risk, of course, but it\'ll make him so unhinged that he won\'t be watching what needs to be watched. If we can make his mind regress to, say, sixteen years old he\'ll be so worried about erotic dreams and his appearance that he\'ll not be as observant of our other activities. Then we waltz in and give him a specialized whammy.\"

Lucius\' dark eyebrow raised to his hairline, his eyes flicking toward Severus. \"Pardon me a moment, Harry.\" The older wizards exchanged a long, meaningful look, silently offering their opinions. \"I apologize for that, to you both. Yes, the \'un-talking\' in front of you is rude, but this is hardly a normal situation. Perhaps something can be done to simulate a second adolescence. In preparation, I believe we can even fabricate an \'ancient\' manuscript that states only the most powerful of wizards experience such an occurance. After that, he will likely revel in every torture you wish to send his way. However, such a plan has definite risks as well. He is likely to become even less predictable, and with his sadistic tendancies is liable to take this out on those closest to him-\" eyes once again catching Severus\' \"-as many teens seem to do.\"

The expression of worried concentration on Harry\'s face kept his hosts amused. The foursome ate in silence for some time before the Gryffindor spoke again.

\"Alright, I understand your worries. But what if this old scroll hints at a potion that can rejuvinate the body to match the magical puberty? Old Voldie\'s been looking for ways to get his original body back, right? He\'ll put his best Potions Master to the task of researching that, leaving Sev out of the line of fire.\" He paused in thought, then grinned. \"Y\'know, I bet if we do it right, that we can get him to down several different potions that\'ll weaken the hold his soul has on this body. Plus, while Severus is \'busy in the lab\', we can find the rest of Voldie\'s horcruxes and get them out of the way.\"

Another pause while he drank some tea, standing to refill his plate. \"The one worry I have... what if this-\" a jab at his forehead \"-is one of the horcruxes? I\'m all for destroying Snake Lips, but I\'d really rather survive the fight. Live to run away from the press another day.\"

All three Slytherins shared identical expressions of horror. Harry decided that none of them had connected his curse scar with the enchanted items holding parts of Tom Riddle\'s soul. He thought for a moment, then conjured up a blackboard and chalk.

\"Right. We should write all this down, make it easier to double check as we go along.\" Harry cast a quotation charm on the chalk, then sent it to float by the board. \"The Headmaster-\" he was proud of the strength in his voice when mentioning the recently deceased \"-had this theory that there were six or seven horcruxes. He got rid of Slytherin\'s ring, but the locket we foud was a fake. Remind me later to tell you about that. And I took care of one unintentionally -- that\'d be the diaryy that you gave Ginny a few years ago, Lucius. We figure that he\'d try to get an item from each of the Founders, and we\'re pretty sure that Helga Hufflepuff\'s cup is one of them. That leaves Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, plus my scar and one other. I kinda think the unknown one is Nagini -- she\'s been his familiar a long time, right?\"

As each item came up on the blackboard, Severus mentally tallied them with snatches of information he had gleaned over the years. He hadn\'t been part of the Inner Circle since before the Potter\'s died, but Harry\'s list started triggering memories. \"Ravenclaw had a private library in the North Tower at Hogwarts. I remember the Dark Lord bragging that he\'d found it during his school years. We should search for her artifact this summer.\"

\"That sword you used in second year, Harry, it was Godric Gryffindor\'s, wasn\'t it?\" Lucius directed his gaze away from the board, back to the young hero. Not waiting for an answer, he went on, \"Although I find it unlikely that he could have gotten his hands on it. Dumbledore kept a very close watch on his trinkets, particularly when Riddle was nearby. But if I recall correctly, Godric was the most prolific at creating enchanted objects. He left them scattered all over the school. We used to joke about him not picking up his toys.\"

\"Father, that may be more true than you know.\" All eyes turned to Draco, who visibly preened under their appraisal. \"There\'s a pin holding together two tapestries in the Slytherin common room. During a... practice duel, I happened to witness one of my housemates touch it. He was rushed to the Infirmary and spent several days there.\"

His Head of House growled at the young blond, \"And why did no one see fit to tell me about this?\"

Draco\'s cheeks pinked slightly, the only indication that his favorite instructor\'s censure had affected him. \"You always teach us to be self-sufficient, sir. And fighting in the common room happens so often that we didn\'t think much about it. I only mentioned it because of something that happened the last day of term. I was tagging my trunks for the trip home when the Bloody Baron floated into the room, chasing Peeves. That damned poltergeist knocked over every loose item in the common room before he got to those tapestries. Then he just... froze for a minute. As if he were Stupified or something. I now that most jinxes don\'t work on spirits, so it seemed rather odd, stuck in my mind. I had planned on mentioning it to you, but this summer\'s activities distracted me.\"

Harry told the chalk to jot down both possibilities, his eyes blazing with renewed fervor.

\"Do not expect this to go so smoothly, Mr. Potter,\" the stern voice of the greasy git returned. \"If Rowena Ravenclaw had a library built somewhere on Hogwarts grounds, it must be masked by every cloaking charm available. None of my colleages knows of it. Don\'t you think that Flitwick would have found such a place as his position of Head of Ravenclaw? As for the pin... what sort of horcrux would that be?\"

Coughing to dispel the air of tension rapidly flooding the room, Lucius rejoined the conversation. \"Sev, you have a valid point on both counts, if one thinks rationally. AYet we all know that the Dark Lord has not been what one might call sane since he began this mad scheme. It just might be the silliest items that we need to find. After all, what better place to hide something you wish to remain beyond suspicion than in plain sight, an object that the world would take for granted as harmless?\"

\"And most of Slytherin House would look at that one harmless artifact as a sort of trophy, wouldn\'t they?\" Harry piped in. \"Something personal from their rival House\'s Founder, taking up such a mundane task.\" Both blonds smirked indentical grins, verifying the assumption. \"I\'d like to look it over, either way. If it\'s just a pin, we\'ve lost nothing but a few minutes. But if there\'s a possibility...\"

\"As you say, Harry, there is little to lose to disprove the theory.\" Standing, Severus summoned all the used dinnerware and set them to wash. Within minutes, with the aid of four competent wizards, the kitchen was sparkling once more. The quartet retired to the sitting room.

\"Now then, Harry. We should move our discussion on to this morning\'s display, hmm?\"

Looking like a deer caught in a Lumos spell, Harry gulped and nodded. \"I\'m really sorry about that, sir. Honestly, I thought I\'d learned how to control those... outbursts a bit better. But you two just rubbed me the wrong way with those secret looks -- I hate it when people keep things from meee that I need to know -- and i guess I just lost it a bit,\" he finished, talking more to the rug than to his companions.

Lucius rolled his eyes, then stared at the Gryffindor speculatively. \"Harry, look at me.\" He waited till the young man returned his gaze. \"We are not scolding you. As a young person matures, such mishaps are liable to occur. We were more taken aback by the quantity of random magic, and by how well you pulled it back into yourself. Such control is often difficult for the most powerful wizard to obtain.\"

Harry snorted in disbelief. \"You guys can\'t honestly tell me that you\'ve never gotten so mad as to blow someone up with just a thought. Literally. She survived, but mainly because the Ministry of Magic got to her in time to deflate the daft bint. I\'ve spent the past four years having to learn how to control my magic, and my temper.\" Here he grinned sheepishly. \"Granted, some days are easier than others.\"

Severus didn\'t need to see his old friend\'s face to imagine the expression he was sure to be there. His own must hold a similarly gobsmacked look. If the Boy Who Lived had already entered his last magical surge at age fourteen, then they might stand more than a slim chance of success.

\"Very well. I suggest that we spend the next day testing your power levels, as well as whatever defensive and offensive spells as you have learned thus far. From there we can form a more comprehensive syllabus for your summer training, and pencil in times to visit the school in search of those two mythical artifacts.\" He ignored the not-so-subtle protests at his wording. \"For this evening, I propose that we determine just how brave we are. A venture into one of the most dangerous areas known to mankind. We must be strong, stealthy, courageous. Only working together as a cunning team do we stand a chance of survival, heading inot the darkest pit of iniquity imaginable.\"

Severus paused for effect, scanning the room til every face was firmly fixed on him. \"The local Muggle shopping center closes at ten. We should depart soon if we are to properly attire Mr. Potter.\"

Harry and Draco perked up at once, then raced to their room for shoes and money. That left Lucius behind to growl at his lover, glaring daggers at the man\'s build-up speech. \"You\'re such a bloody drama queen.\"