I'm Beautiful, Damn It!

We don’t own Harry Potter!
Chapter 16

Draco woke early the next morning.

“I’m cold.” he thought. He decided to find some clothes to put on. He looked over at Hermione sleeping peacefully and covered her with a blanket. He crossed the common room still littered with the evidence of the night before.

“Crotch pheasant” he whispered.


Hermione woke and felt around for Draco. She sat up and glanced around her room, no signs of him. She got out of bed and walked into the common room. She quietly walked over to his bedroom and leaned against the portrait to hear if he was in there.

“What are you doing?” the portrait shrieked. Hermione jumped and covered herself best she could. Draco heard a commotion outside his door.

“Nothing.” She said to the man in the portrait. Draco opened his door.

“What is going on?” He asked laughing at a naked Hermione. “Get in here.” Hermione stepped inside. She walked over and sat on his bed. He sat down beside her.

“We have the best slumber parties.” He said smiling.

“Yea, we do. That was the best one I’ve ever been to.” She said smiling back.

“Do you want to go down to breakfast?” He asked.

“Sure. I’ll get dressed.” She left his bedroom. Draco watched her all the way to her room before getting dressing as well.


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Draco and Hermione headed to Great Hall. On their way there they ran into Ginny.

“Hi.” Hermione said.

“Going to breakfast?” Ginny asked.

“Yea.” Hermione replied.

“Me too.” Ginny said. All three of them continued to the Great Hall. Once inside Hermione and Ginny headed to the Gryffindor table and Draco headed to the Slytherin table.

“Are you not going to sit with us?” Ginny asked. Draco looked over at the Gryffindor table and back at them.

“No I don’t think so. Maybe next time.” His said and gave Hermione a pat on the shoulder as he walked away. The morning owls started to deliver the morning mail as Draco sat down to eat. A large brown owl came flying toward his head and dropped off a letter in his food and took off again.

“Damn owl!” Draco hissed as he tore the letter open. He read it quickly, wadded it up, and threw it on the table and went back to eating.

Hermione had watched the whole thing.

“I wonder what that was.” she thought.

When she was done eating she went back to the common room to study. Draco came in a few moments behind her.

“I seen you got some mail.” She said as she gathered some books.

“Yea, I did.” He replied.

“Well, you didn’t seem happy about it.” She said.

“I was just told that I can’t come home for Christmas. Some shit about Mother and Father going away on holiday to ‘rekindle their romance’ or something like that.” he said, frowning.

“Oh...” she said, feeling a bit awkward. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” he sighed. “Not like we really did anything special anyway.”

She gave him a sympathetic look before opening her book and starting her Potions homework.

She was trying terribly to concentrate, but the big heavy sighs that Draco was emitting were extremely distracting.

“Something on your mind, Draco?” Hermione asked, throwing her quill down onto her parchment.

“No, no..” he said, his voice sounding heavily depressed. He laid his head on his folded arms and looked up at her with puppy dog eyes.

She looked away and went back to her essay. He let out another heavy sigh.

“Draco!” she cried. “What is the matter?”

“Nothing!” he said, making a hurt face. “I’m just sitting here and you’re snapping at me.”

He pouted.

“You’re such a drama Queen....well, king.” she replied, turning back to her essay once again.

He raised his head and looked onto her paper.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked.

Hermione threw her quill down again.

“I am trying my hardest to get my Potion’s essay done, but you keep interrupting me!”

He sat silently for a few moments.

“Are you going home for Christmas?” he asked.

“Yes, Draco.” she replied, not looking up from her paper.

“So I’m going to be all alone?” he cried. “But only losers stay here over Christmas holiday! Like Potter!”

“No actually,” Hermione stated. “Harry will probably go home with Ron.”

“See? Even Potter isn’t geeky enough to stay here!” Draco buried his head in his arms.

“Maybe your parents will change their minds and not rekindle love or something.” She said looking at him.

“Maybe.” He sighed. Hermione turned back to her essay. He sighed again.

“Draco!” She screamed.

“What?” He said innocently.

“Don’t you have an essay to write or something?” She cried.

“Yea, I do.” He said. Hermione looked at him.

“Well?” She started.

“Well what?” He asked.

“Aren’t you going to do it?!” She yelled.

“I suppose so.” He sighed once more before going and getting his books.

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Draco spent the next several weeks sulking around the common room. He barely got any homework done and tried desperately to prevent Hermione from doing hers.

They were once again seated in the common room. Draco had been complaining for the better part of an hour and a half. Hermione was just about to yell at him when Ron burst through the door slamming it hard behind him and pressing himself up against it, as if a giant Troll were about to barge through at any moment.

“What the hell Weasl-” Draco began, but stopped when he seen the flustered, terrified look on his face.

“Ron, what\'s going on?” Hermione asked, very worried.

“Its Pansy!” Ron bellowed. “She keeps cornering me and telling me I got her pregnant!”

Hermione gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Draco on the other hand, just laughed.

“I’ve been there before!” Draco said, shaking his head. “5 times, to be exact. Have you been trying to break up with her?”

Ron still looked terrified.

“Well,” he began. “I....I was kind of avoiding her. I was just tired of being drug around by the rope, that\'s all.”

“She\'s still using the rope?!” Hermione cried, shocked.

Ron nodded solemnly.

“I didn’t even know we were dating, then suddenly she\'s going on about me neglecting her and stuff! Next thing I know, she\'s screaming she\'s pregnant! What am I going to do? My mother is going to kill me!” he cried, covering his head with his hands.

“First of all,” Draco started. “She\'s not pregnant. She just wants attention. Secondly, we’ve all met your mother. If you value your life, the last thing you want to do is owl her and tell her you knocked up a girl at the Halloween Ball.”

A loud thumping came from the other side of the portrait.

“RONALD WEASLEY!” Pansy screamed. “ARE YOU IN THERE?”

“Hide me!” Ron cried. “Please! Don’t let her hurt me!” Ron grabbed the front of Hermione’s shirt and fell to his knees. “Pleeease!”

“Crotch Pheasant.” Hermione said. Her bedroom door swung open, along with Draco’s. “Thank you!” Ron cried and ran for Hermione’s room.

Once Ron was safely inside, Hermione opened the common room door. There stood Pansy in a baggy sweat shirt and pajama pants. Apparently she had enchanted the sweat shirt to periodically flash the phrases “Mummy to Be” “Baby on Board” and “A Bun In The Oven”.

Hermione looked at her disbelievingly.

“Umm...Do you need something Pansy?” Hermione asked.

Pansy turned to the side, rubbing her not existent belly.

“Oh I was just wondering, have you seen the father of my child? Ronald Weasley?”

“Pansy!” Draco snapped. “You’re not pregnant! You parents perform a contraceptive charm on you every summer. Leave poor Weasley alone! Are you trying to get him killed?? I mean, you’ve met his mother! Do you know what she\'s going to do to him when it gets back to her that you’re spreading around that you’re pregnant? And stop rubbing your stomach!”

Pansy glared at him.

“He should have thought about that before making love to me in the broom closet!” Pansy shrieked.

“If you see Ronald, let him know I’m looking for him!” she hissed as she turned to walk away.

Draco picked up his wand and enchanted her shirt. It now read: “I’m not pregnant, just fat.” flashing in bright, bold colors.

Hermione shut the common room door. Ron’s head poked out of her bedroom.

“Is she gone?” he was visibly trembling.

“Yes, Weasley, she\'s gone.” Draco said.

“Maybe you should head up to Gryffindor Tower where you’ll be safe.” Hermione suggested.

Ron nodded and poked his head out of the common room door, looking from left to right. When he thought the coast was clear, he broke into a run.

As the door clicked shut, they could hear Pansy screech “RONALD!”

“Wow,” Draco said, turning to Hermione. “And I thought I had problems.”

Hermione walked over and sat down on the couch, trying to take in everything that had just happened. She\'s had to deal with Pansy this year more than any other and she couldn’t say she was exactly happy about it. Though it was always entertaining.

Draco walked over and laid his head on Hermione’s shoulder, looking up at her with big puppy eyes.

“May I help you?” she asked, laughing at him.

“Why yes you may!” he cried “How nice of you to offer!” He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her softly.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled, kissing him back.

Draco lifted her up into his arms and they both disappeared back into his bedroom.