Triumph Out of the Bitter Taste of Ashes
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
34
Views:
6,796
Reviews:
244
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
34
Views:
6,796
Reviews:
244
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter Fifteen
Rilla -- Thanks! : ) I thought, somehow, a guy wouldn\'t like the idea of \'fainting\'. ::smirk:: it\'s such a . . . \'girl\' thing to do.
Shanta-K -- Hmmm, Yes, I can see why you might feel that way. I\'m kinda getting frustrated with where the muses are going as well. Part of me wants to rush it. I tried with chapter 14 to do a overview type thing where \"time passes\" but they wouldn\'t let me. Couldn\'t get more than 3 paragraphs. lol Sorry about the abruptness of Hermione\'s arrival. I\'d thought about doing her pov just before her arrival -- the detection of the spell cast to find her, their decision to seek out help at Hogwarts etc -- but never managed it. Might it have been better if I had?
AN: Okay, lol. My apologies for any confusion. No, Ron was *not* with Snape and Draco during their conversation. I *assumed* (which I shouldn\'t have done) that it would be obvious that Snape would have chased him off before beginning that rather *sensitive* conversation with Draco, so originally I\'d had that occur \'off screen\'.
I corrected that assumption, by adding a few lines to the end of chapter 10 and part of one at the beginning of chapter 11. : ) I did mention it in an \"author\'s alert\", but obviously I goofed by not leaving it up long enough. Again, my apologies for the confusion. It was entirely my fault.
AN: Sorry. : )~ ----- my sheepish look.
I just want everyone to know, I truly value *all* the comments made by readers who feel the want or need to comment. There has been *nothing* said in any of the reviews that I have taken exception to. : ) I had wanted to share my viewpoint on a subject that seemed to interest a wide variety of readers, nothing more. ::grin:: Perhaps even invite discussion about differing viewpoints on such an interesting character as Snape.
I hope that anyone reading *any* story of mine feels comfortable enough to speak their mind honestly. Constructive criticism is always helpful to a writer looking to improve the craft. : )
cheers : )
Kiri
(Things will speed up after this chapter, I believe.) ::Please! Kiri begs::
**********
Chapter Fifteen
**********
Severus Snape slowly made his way from the infirmary to his private chambers. **At last!** he thought as the door swung shut behind him. He was under absolutely no delusion about how much time he was going to be spending alone for the next couple of days, and he wanted to take advantage of the fact that he could be alone now. He was, unfortunately, the only person here at Hogwarts to whom Draco could speak about what was troubling him. He seriously doubted, the boy had confided the worst of his fears and torn feelings to the Weasley boy -- not if Severus wer jud judge by the *touching* scene he\'d interrupted. Ronald Weasley was far too judgemental and quick to temper for that to be the case.
Oh, he was under no delusions that once past the initial shock Draco would continue as he had today. Today had been an extreme anomaly. **Thank Circe!** What would probably happen is that the boy would find reasons to search him out, spend time in his company. They would be perfectly sound reasons, too, nothing there to \'give away\' his real reasons. The reason being that he \'needed\' to spend time with someone who not only knew everything, but didn\'t change their opinion about him. Good or bad, wouldn\'t really mattered even, Severus suspected, the \'sameness\' of treatment would be what . . . comforted him. At least that seemed likely to him. It was certainly what *he* would have wanted, to be treated *the* *same*.
The problem was, well the biggest problem on *his* part, was the fact that as much as he knew all this, he also knew he simply didn\'t have the temperament to coax Draco through this. Sooner or later -- probably sooner, he admitted to himself honestly -- he was going to lose his temper, and that was going t the the end of Draco asking, silently or otherwise, for help.
And, of course, that little conundrum didn\'t include Miss Granger\'s little problem. The chit didn\'t have long to decide what to do, and either way -- not that he really thought this would end more than one way -- Miss Granger would not be the only one suffering through the decision.
He knew full well what Draco had been in the middle of saying when he\'d fainted in the school hallway. It had just hit the poor boy that the baby Miss Granger -- his school mate -- was carrying, a child of rape, was related to him, was, or rather would be, a sibling. That would be true forever, regardless of whether Miss Granger terminated or not, regardless of whether either Miss Granger or Draco liked it or not.
He seriously doubted, too, whether that project he\'d assigned the two students would actually get done, then cringed at that stray, utterly selfish thought.
**Damn it all to Dante\'s hell and back!** Snape thought viciously, striding toward his liquor cabinet. He was going to get thoroughly pissed and completely forget about students\' troubles for a few hours. Who cared if polite custom said it was too early! He\'d spent enough of today worrying about others. Now was *his* time, his time to be alone, his time to be concerned with himself. He just thanked Merlin it wasn\'t a weekday.
**
Ron stormed away from the Gryffindor tower. Harry knew something. How Harry did, Ron didn\'t know, but he knew *something* about why Hermione had refused to see them. The problem was, Harry wasn\'t talking, and it was driving Ron crazy. He knew he wasn\'t entitled to know *everything* that went one . . . at least his brain did . . . when he could hear it. The problem was, to his heart, it felt like both his best friends were locking him out.
Clenching his hands into fists, Ron tried to figure it out on his own. If no one was going to be honest, well, then; he\'d just do what the *three* of them had been doing since 1st year. He wasn\'t going to stop now, just because no one else thought he could understand what was going on. He wasn\'t just \'good ol\' Ron, friendly, but dumb as a post. Sure, he wasn\'t as into school as either Harry or Hermione. He chuckled; in Hermione\'s case he didn\'t think he knew *anyone* who took school as seriously.
He smiled as a moment from 1st year flashed through his mind.
~~~~~\"I\'m going to bed,\" Hermione said primly, \"Before we end up dead, or *worse*, expelled.\" With a nod worthy of a queen, Hermione closed the door on them.
Ron leaned toward Harry just the slightest bit. \"That girl has *got* to resort her priorities.\"~~~~~
She hadn\'t changed much since then, a little less self-righteous -- **Thank Merlin!** -- but seemed to maintain the same viewpoint of death vs. expulsion, expulsion being worse by several orders of magnitude.
He sighed,dingding out a side door, and attacked the problem the way he would a chess game . . . logically. Except for when playing that game, making logic over-ride his temper wasn\'t something he often managed to do, but right now, he had to if he wanted to figure this out. There was no one else to calm him down.
He organized his thoughts carefully. This was like he was planning an attack, after all, an attack to find the hidden truth. He *knew* several things. Hermione had been taken by deatheaters. She had been tortured by them. He knew Mr. Malfoy, the older one, had been a deatheater.
He *suspected* Malfoy had been the one, or one of the people, to hurt Mione. That, of course, wasn\'t proven, it was all circumstantial. He was sure enough, however, to accept it as tentative truth, considering Hermione\'s reaction to Draco this morning.
He also had several other little clues as to the missing truth. Harry and Hermione were both acting very strangely. He was sur sure how Harry\'s behavior fit in, but was reasonably sure Hermione\'s was a direct result of it, whatever \'it\' was.
The problem was, he couldn\'t seem to connect the dots, make all the little clues fit. He knew, or at least thought he did, what deatheaters did to--
It was then the lightening struck. He paled and his stomach lurched. \"Oh, Mione!\" he exclaimed. He wished, now, he hadn\'t been so insistent on figuring it all out. He wasn\'t sure he could handle it. It was just assumption at this point, but he was pretty sure he was right; it certainly fit all the facts. He just really, *really* wished it didn\'t!
He swallowed, shuddering. **No wonder she didn\'t want me or Harry anywhere near her!** he thought in anguish. He didn\'t know what to do now. The thing was, there wasn\'t anyone he could talk to about it, to figure out if there *was* anything he could do to help. This wasn\'t exactly something he could throw out to just anyone to get advice.
Ron began to run. He was seriously confused, hurt, and angry -- especially angry. Bloody hell, was he angry. Rage flowed freely inside him and he desperately wanted to lash out, lash out and destroy the cause of Hermione\'s pain, and he suspected Draco\'s. But there was nothing left to lash out at. Lucius Malfoy was already dead. Voldemort was dead. Professor Snape had got there first -- in *both* cases -- killing the bloody bastards the same day, the day that nearly everyone he knew had fought to survive.
He ran until he gasped for air, his side aching with every jolting step. He continued to run until a sight he hadn\'t expected to see startled him out of his mindless flight.
Draco Malfoy was sitting by the lake, alone. Ron stopped far enough away not to disturb the blond Slytherin. He wasn\'t stupid. He was still too angry to talk reasonably. He knew that. None of this was Draco\'s fault, but Ron knew damn well if they started talking, he would lash out. Draco was the closest thing to being the person he *really* wanted to destroy, and he knew he couldn\'t trust his uncertain temper not to get in the way of anything they might say to each other.
Feeling incredibly alone, Ron dropped to the ground and simply watched Draco. He sat there for Merlin only knew how long before he couldn\'t do it anymore. There was one way; he just hoped Draco would cooperate. He really didn\'t want to screw this up.
Slowly, he walked toward Draco, somewhere along the line realizing the other boy was sitting in exactly the same spot he had been earlier. He drew in a swift breath as his gut tightened and his heart pounded. What it meant to Draco, idn\idn\'t know, but Ron, torn though he was, thought that maybe, just maybe, he liked the idea that Draco didn\'t regret what had happened.
That was a very scary thought, but for now, he shoved it aside, circling around to approach Draco from the front. He was only a few feet away when Draco\'s head snapped up, within touching distance when Draco began to speak.
Ron reached out and lightly rested two fingers across the mouth his had touched earlier. He shook his head and sat down next to Draco, letting his hand fall \'carelessly\' onto the blond\'s knee. He stared out over the lake, not looking at his companion, and after several silent minutes had past, he felt a hand lay gently across his.
He smiled, and stole a sideways glance. Draco was doing the same. He struck him as kind of funny, in an awkward sort of way. His smile widened, though he knew he looked quite goofy when he did that. He blushed when Draco smiled back, quickly returning his attention to the lake.
They sat there together, not saying anything, not needing to, until the sky began to darken. With nearly simultaneous sighs -- which caused a snort of laughter from both of them -- they rose and headed back toward the castle.
Ron grinned, secretly very pleased when Draco slid a hand into his as the walked. Neither of them said anything, completing the short trip in companionable silence.
TBC
Kiristeen
Feedback: muchly appreciated! : )
Kiristeen@kiristeen.com
.
Shanta-K -- Hmmm, Yes, I can see why you might feel that way. I\'m kinda getting frustrated with where the muses are going as well. Part of me wants to rush it. I tried with chapter 14 to do a overview type thing where \"time passes\" but they wouldn\'t let me. Couldn\'t get more than 3 paragraphs. lol Sorry about the abruptness of Hermione\'s arrival. I\'d thought about doing her pov just before her arrival -- the detection of the spell cast to find her, their decision to seek out help at Hogwarts etc -- but never managed it. Might it have been better if I had?
AN: Okay, lol. My apologies for any confusion. No, Ron was *not* with Snape and Draco during their conversation. I *assumed* (which I shouldn\'t have done) that it would be obvious that Snape would have chased him off before beginning that rather *sensitive* conversation with Draco, so originally I\'d had that occur \'off screen\'.
I corrected that assumption, by adding a few lines to the end of chapter 10 and part of one at the beginning of chapter 11. : ) I did mention it in an \"author\'s alert\", but obviously I goofed by not leaving it up long enough. Again, my apologies for the confusion. It was entirely my fault.
AN: Sorry. : )~ ----- my sheepish look.
I just want everyone to know, I truly value *all* the comments made by readers who feel the want or need to comment. There has been *nothing* said in any of the reviews that I have taken exception to. : ) I had wanted to share my viewpoint on a subject that seemed to interest a wide variety of readers, nothing more. ::grin:: Perhaps even invite discussion about differing viewpoints on such an interesting character as Snape.
I hope that anyone reading *any* story of mine feels comfortable enough to speak their mind honestly. Constructive criticism is always helpful to a writer looking to improve the craft. : )
cheers : )
Kiri
(Things will speed up after this chapter, I believe.) ::Please! Kiri begs::
**********
Chapter Fifteen
**********
Severus Snape slowly made his way from the infirmary to his private chambers. **At last!** he thought as the door swung shut behind him. He was under absolutely no delusion about how much time he was going to be spending alone for the next couple of days, and he wanted to take advantage of the fact that he could be alone now. He was, unfortunately, the only person here at Hogwarts to whom Draco could speak about what was troubling him. He seriously doubted, the boy had confided the worst of his fears and torn feelings to the Weasley boy -- not if Severus wer jud judge by the *touching* scene he\'d interrupted. Ronald Weasley was far too judgemental and quick to temper for that to be the case.
Oh, he was under no delusions that once past the initial shock Draco would continue as he had today. Today had been an extreme anomaly. **Thank Circe!** What would probably happen is that the boy would find reasons to search him out, spend time in his company. They would be perfectly sound reasons, too, nothing there to \'give away\' his real reasons. The reason being that he \'needed\' to spend time with someone who not only knew everything, but didn\'t change their opinion about him. Good or bad, wouldn\'t really mattered even, Severus suspected, the \'sameness\' of treatment would be what . . . comforted him. At least that seemed likely to him. It was certainly what *he* would have wanted, to be treated *the* *same*.
The problem was, well the biggest problem on *his* part, was the fact that as much as he knew all this, he also knew he simply didn\'t have the temperament to coax Draco through this. Sooner or later -- probably sooner, he admitted to himself honestly -- he was going to lose his temper, and that was going t the the end of Draco asking, silently or otherwise, for help.
And, of course, that little conundrum didn\'t include Miss Granger\'s little problem. The chit didn\'t have long to decide what to do, and either way -- not that he really thought this would end more than one way -- Miss Granger would not be the only one suffering through the decision.
He knew full well what Draco had been in the middle of saying when he\'d fainted in the school hallway. It had just hit the poor boy that the baby Miss Granger -- his school mate -- was carrying, a child of rape, was related to him, was, or rather would be, a sibling. That would be true forever, regardless of whether Miss Granger terminated or not, regardless of whether either Miss Granger or Draco liked it or not.
He seriously doubted, too, whether that project he\'d assigned the two students would actually get done, then cringed at that stray, utterly selfish thought.
**Damn it all to Dante\'s hell and back!** Snape thought viciously, striding toward his liquor cabinet. He was going to get thoroughly pissed and completely forget about students\' troubles for a few hours. Who cared if polite custom said it was too early! He\'d spent enough of today worrying about others. Now was *his* time, his time to be alone, his time to be concerned with himself. He just thanked Merlin it wasn\'t a weekday.
**
Ron stormed away from the Gryffindor tower. Harry knew something. How Harry did, Ron didn\'t know, but he knew *something* about why Hermione had refused to see them. The problem was, Harry wasn\'t talking, and it was driving Ron crazy. He knew he wasn\'t entitled to know *everything* that went one . . . at least his brain did . . . when he could hear it. The problem was, to his heart, it felt like both his best friends were locking him out.
Clenching his hands into fists, Ron tried to figure it out on his own. If no one was going to be honest, well, then; he\'d just do what the *three* of them had been doing since 1st year. He wasn\'t going to stop now, just because no one else thought he could understand what was going on. He wasn\'t just \'good ol\' Ron, friendly, but dumb as a post. Sure, he wasn\'t as into school as either Harry or Hermione. He chuckled; in Hermione\'s case he didn\'t think he knew *anyone* who took school as seriously.
He smiled as a moment from 1st year flashed through his mind.
~~~~~\"I\'m going to bed,\" Hermione said primly, \"Before we end up dead, or *worse*, expelled.\" With a nod worthy of a queen, Hermione closed the door on them.
Ron leaned toward Harry just the slightest bit. \"That girl has *got* to resort her priorities.\"~~~~~
She hadn\'t changed much since then, a little less self-righteous -- **Thank Merlin!** -- but seemed to maintain the same viewpoint of death vs. expulsion, expulsion being worse by several orders of magnitude.
He sighed,dingding out a side door, and attacked the problem the way he would a chess game . . . logically. Except for when playing that game, making logic over-ride his temper wasn\'t something he often managed to do, but right now, he had to if he wanted to figure this out. There was no one else to calm him down.
He organized his thoughts carefully. This was like he was planning an attack, after all, an attack to find the hidden truth. He *knew* several things. Hermione had been taken by deatheaters. She had been tortured by them. He knew Mr. Malfoy, the older one, had been a deatheater.
He *suspected* Malfoy had been the one, or one of the people, to hurt Mione. That, of course, wasn\'t proven, it was all circumstantial. He was sure enough, however, to accept it as tentative truth, considering Hermione\'s reaction to Draco this morning.
He also had several other little clues as to the missing truth. Harry and Hermione were both acting very strangely. He was sur sure how Harry\'s behavior fit in, but was reasonably sure Hermione\'s was a direct result of it, whatever \'it\' was.
The problem was, he couldn\'t seem to connect the dots, make all the little clues fit. He knew, or at least thought he did, what deatheaters did to--
It was then the lightening struck. He paled and his stomach lurched. \"Oh, Mione!\" he exclaimed. He wished, now, he hadn\'t been so insistent on figuring it all out. He wasn\'t sure he could handle it. It was just assumption at this point, but he was pretty sure he was right; it certainly fit all the facts. He just really, *really* wished it didn\'t!
He swallowed, shuddering. **No wonder she didn\'t want me or Harry anywhere near her!** he thought in anguish. He didn\'t know what to do now. The thing was, there wasn\'t anyone he could talk to about it, to figure out if there *was* anything he could do to help. This wasn\'t exactly something he could throw out to just anyone to get advice.
Ron began to run. He was seriously confused, hurt, and angry -- especially angry. Bloody hell, was he angry. Rage flowed freely inside him and he desperately wanted to lash out, lash out and destroy the cause of Hermione\'s pain, and he suspected Draco\'s. But there was nothing left to lash out at. Lucius Malfoy was already dead. Voldemort was dead. Professor Snape had got there first -- in *both* cases -- killing the bloody bastards the same day, the day that nearly everyone he knew had fought to survive.
He ran until he gasped for air, his side aching with every jolting step. He continued to run until a sight he hadn\'t expected to see startled him out of his mindless flight.
Draco Malfoy was sitting by the lake, alone. Ron stopped far enough away not to disturb the blond Slytherin. He wasn\'t stupid. He was still too angry to talk reasonably. He knew that. None of this was Draco\'s fault, but Ron knew damn well if they started talking, he would lash out. Draco was the closest thing to being the person he *really* wanted to destroy, and he knew he couldn\'t trust his uncertain temper not to get in the way of anything they might say to each other.
Feeling incredibly alone, Ron dropped to the ground and simply watched Draco. He sat there for Merlin only knew how long before he couldn\'t do it anymore. There was one way; he just hoped Draco would cooperate. He really didn\'t want to screw this up.
Slowly, he walked toward Draco, somewhere along the line realizing the other boy was sitting in exactly the same spot he had been earlier. He drew in a swift breath as his gut tightened and his heart pounded. What it meant to Draco, idn\idn\'t know, but Ron, torn though he was, thought that maybe, just maybe, he liked the idea that Draco didn\'t regret what had happened.
That was a very scary thought, but for now, he shoved it aside, circling around to approach Draco from the front. He was only a few feet away when Draco\'s head snapped up, within touching distance when Draco began to speak.
Ron reached out and lightly rested two fingers across the mouth his had touched earlier. He shook his head and sat down next to Draco, letting his hand fall \'carelessly\' onto the blond\'s knee. He stared out over the lake, not looking at his companion, and after several silent minutes had past, he felt a hand lay gently across his.
He smiled, and stole a sideways glance. Draco was doing the same. He struck him as kind of funny, in an awkward sort of way. His smile widened, though he knew he looked quite goofy when he did that. He blushed when Draco smiled back, quickly returning his attention to the lake.
They sat there together, not saying anything, not needing to, until the sky began to darken. With nearly simultaneous sighs -- which caused a snort of laughter from both of them -- they rose and headed back toward the castle.
Ron grinned, secretly very pleased when Draco slid a hand into his as the walked. Neither of them said anything, completing the short trip in companionable silence.
TBC
Kiristeen
Feedback: muchly appreciated! : )
Kiristeen@kiristeen.com
.