Why him?

I still thank everyone for reading my story, and my beta for helping me.
It has been a lot to do and I completely forgot about adding this chapter, forgive me.
Before Blaise realizes what he feels for Harry he has a lot of obstacles to get through, I hope you enjoy this one.
oOoOoOoOo

Because I couldn't get Harry off my mind I had problems sleeping; I found that I was unable to sleep more than three hours. I think the thing that prevented me from sleeping the most were the memories I had of reaching my orgasm, as well as remembering that I had previously fucked Harry. Everything seemed a lot more clear to me now, except why the night we had sex ended up in a fight.

There's still a lot that is hidden from me, and even if the reason for our fight is still a mystery, I've discovered the truth about a lot of other things that's been happening to me lately. Even if I somehow remember everything, I don't feel like it was a waste to take the potion; at least now I know how Harry feels about me, even if I don't like it.

“You're free to go Mr. Zabini,” said Pomfrey, distracting me from my thoughts. She'd just finished checking me for the after effect of the healing potion. With Harry on my mind I thanked her and left.

I was planning on going down to the Slytherin common room when I was met by a large group of students outside the library. I would have walked straight past them if I hadn't seen a couple of red-headed Weasley's. Something told me that Harry would be somewhere amongst them, and I was right. Behind the Granger girl stood a dark haired boy, the same dark haired boy who had shown me that his mouth does more than talk back.

“I need to talk to you, Potter,” I said, making Harry jump. Everyone there looked at me in shock; obviously they hadn't expected me to request that. I noticed that the Weasley girl tried to take hold of Harry's arm and talk him out of it, all the while she was staring at me like she wanted to kill me. Because she was holding him I thought I didn't have a chance, so you can imagine how shocked I was when he snatched his arm out of Weasley's grip and walked straight towards me.

I didn't want his friends to listen to our conversation so I walked away from them with Harry following me.

“What do you want, Zabini?” he asked in an exasperated tone when I finally stopped walking. His attempt to sound bored and annoyed failed as I recognized the slightly wobble in his voice which indicated there was a trace of excitement inside him.

“What was last night for?” I tried to stay calm, but that wasn't easy when all I could think of was the image of Harry's mouth on my cock.

“You don't care about me so why should I need to tell you?” he asked heatedly. Almost like he had lifted a confunded charm from me I remembered a part of why we fought the day we first had sex; Harry was mad at me because I didn't care. “What happened to your face?” Why wouldn't he stop asking? Could he never take a hint?

“That's private," I said shortly.

“So you can have secrets but I can't?!” The volume of his voice was higher than when we began, and I knew that the best would be to calm him down before I say anything else. Maybe if he knew a little of what happened he would lay it to rest.

“It was a Death Eater, all right?” Harry's face looked like it had been drained from all blood and I half-expected him to faint. If that happened I would be in trouble again.

“Who?” he whispered.

“Nobody important.” Would he never give up? I know something bad happened to me but considering what could have happened I was lucky to even be alive. “Why are we fighting?” I asked suddenly, and I could see that my question confused him. “Why did you leave the secret bedroom that night we fucked?”

Potter still looked confused but he seemed to have understood what I meant.

“You used me,” he answered, his voice wobbly. That made sense since I have no intentions of ever being in a relationship. “Why are you even asking me this?”

“Because I can't remember any of it,” I said before I could stop myself.

“Did the Death Eater do it to you?” His protective character is admirable, and I would have no trouble in answering him if we were friends;. However, since we no longer were friends - or lovers, come to that - he didn't need or have the right to know anything. But something pushed me to tell him the truth anyway.

“No, I took a potion.”

“What?" he exclaimed. "Why?”

“I don't want to talk about it. I've told you what happened; you should be pleased over the information you've got." I looked behind Harry and saw his friends standing in the same position as when Harry left them, the Weasley girl looked most furious and ready to attack me.

“I have a right to know, especially after what you did to me.” I wanted to say something about us not being in a relationship so he had no such right, but I had a feeling that the conversation wouldn't go too well if I did tell him that.

My goal was to stay calm and keep him calm too, but the next thing that escaped me was even worse than what I wanted to say first. “I probably wouldn't have done it if you weren't whoring yourself with a Weasley.” I could see I struck a nerve. “Do you think I would want someone that slutty?” I found myself continuing without being able to stop.

“You always think I do things because of you!” he shouted, and we both seemed to forget our surroundings and barked our arguments at each other.

“Aren't you?! Stop me if I'm wrong, but I didn’t get the impression that you were over me last night when you were stalking me,” I snarled. He looked shocked and hurt. “If you really want to be with me then get rid of the Weasel, break off your damn engagement,” I said without thinking. If my mind was in its right place then surely I wouldn't have said something like that.

“Why would I ever want to be with someone as selfish as you?" he growled at me. "Anyway, I'm not the one who has to change; you need to stop fucking everything that moves!”

I slapped him. How dare he treat me like I was the slut? I was surprised when he slapped me back and left, and as much as I wanted to stop him I decided to let him leave. If we were alone I would show him what I do with annoying brats like him.

I could see that his friends looked shocked; it was only the Weasley girl who had a different reaction - pure, unadulterated rage. Before I would over analyse things I left them; I didn't want to stand there and worry about what stupid things she would do to me.

*

Two days can pass extraordinarily fast when you have a lot of homework. the N.E.W.T. exams were closing in and the teachers wanted to be sure we would pass. Of course they didn’t have to worry about me, I might not be the best but that is entirely my choice; I don’t want to be like Granger with my nose buried in a book all the time.

The third day began as usual, but during lunch I saw something that both shocked me and disgusted me at the same time. I was in the hallway when I looked down on the floor beneath me and saw Harry basically sucking Weasley’s face. If I was alone I would find my wand and make sure that they would never come close enough to touch each other ever again, but I didn't want to get into more trouble. Watching him made me wonder why I cared about his opinion and his decision of being with Weasley.

That didn't stop me from feeling possessive over Harry, though. To control my rage I held my wand so firmly that I feared it would crumble in my palm. What on earth did he think he was doing? Kissing her like that in the middle of the hall where everyone could see them, just like the time after the Christmas holiday! It seemed as though every time I saw Harry I remembered something that the potion erased... the only bad thing about that was that there are more bad memories than good.

“Don’t they know what dignity is?” drawled Draco when he saw what I was looking at. I wondered how long he was standing there and if he knew what I was thinking. “Hey, Potter, why don’t you get a room? I'm sure that if you two begin now you would break the baby record her mother made!” I didn’t say anything as Draco was trying to insult them. It wasn't one of his best insults towards Harry, the only thing it seemed to do was to put me in a worse mood.

Harry and Weasley looked up at Draco but turned their attention towards me like it was I who had said something. I should have left as soon I realized Draco would attempt to annoy Harry.

Seeing me staring at them, Weasley put her hand on Harry’s cheek. He then turned around her and kissed her neck. While he was doing that she stared directly at me while giving Harry access to touch her everywhere. I didn't like what he was doing, but thought it was cute since he was trying to gain my attention. Weasley was still staring at me, and that kept me from walking away. Then she smiled at me, an evil smile, like she knew something I didn’t, like she has won.

“He's so pathetic, don’t you think?” Draco asked me, but that didn’t mean he expected me to answer; he preferred his own voice more than mine. “I'm sure that weasel only wants him for his money, Merlin knows they don’t have enough money for more than one child.” He continued to talk about them until it was time for class. Draco hadn't seen anything strange with Harry's behaviour, which was strange because usually he knows everything.

*

I couldn't avoid seeing Harry and Weasley kissing and cuddling more than once that week, and frankly it was bugging the hell out of me, but I couldn’t let it show. I wanted to find a way to see Harry alone but he always seemed to slip out of my hands once we were in the same room.

My memory slowly returned, each day that passed reminded me about small things that happened between Harry and I. Most were little things that really didn’t matter, but that made me understand better why things ended the way they did.

There wasn’t much I could do to stop Harry's behaviour in the days that followed; Harry was ignoring me, even if I could clearly see he wanted to come over and do something, like slap me.

At last the trip to Hogsmeade had arrived. Maybe that would get my mind off of everything. Of course Harry would be going with her, and even if it annoyed me I couldn't allow myself to care.

That was when I decided to ignore Harry, block him out of my mind, concentrate only on myself. And I was doing a good job until one day I met Harry as he was walking out of Snape's office. As much as I tried to ignore him and the memories, I couldn't get rid of them. He had just exited the room and was locking the door behind him, looking down at the floor while doing so. I wondered if he was purposely ignoring me. If he looked at me, or even showed me that he knew I was around him I would have ignored him, but not now that he was avoiding me.

When he reached me I brutally grabbed his wrist, that shook him out of his strange trance. When he looked up at me it was almost like he hadn't expected anyone to be around him.

“Blaise.” His voice was almost a whisper, and his eyes looked like they were empty. He wasn’t himself; something was wrong, I could feel it.

“What happened to you?” I said without thinking how I sounded. This is why I hate relationships, you always need to care for the other one. But we aren't in a relationship, I reminded myself.

“I mixed the wrong ingredients,” he said flatly. At first I didn't understand him, but then I remembered that he came from detention with Snape.

“I’m talking about you," I said wearily. "You don’t seem to be the same person any-more.” He looked the same and his voice was the same, but something inside him had changed. I was shocked to see how different he really was, and shocked that nobody else had noticed it.

“I'm the same,” he protested feebly, and I would have believed him if he said it with more earnest.

“You’re not, and that's probably why you're sucking Weasley’s face in the middle of the hallway every damn day.” How dare he lie straight to my face? I’m not one of his followers who believes everything is fine when he says so.

“I am, now let go of me.”

“No! I won’t, you can’t twist yourself away now, Harry.” I held him harder, he wouldn’t get away like he had before. He tried to push me away and hit me, but nothing he did would make me release him.

After what seemed like minutes, things changed. He stopped fighting and began to cry; the sudden change startled me. I watched him, trying to figure out what really happened and wishing that he would get up and spit in my face or do something horrible, just so I didn’t need to act like I cared about him.

“I don’t know,” he said softly, as though he was answering a question in his head.

“What?” I didn’t understand him, he was acting strange and everything that he said seemed to have no connection.

“I don’t know what's going on,” he sobbed. He wasn’t crying his eyes out, but the few tears that were escaping his eyes was enough for me to want to run away.

“What do you mean?” I didn't want to care about him but I couldn't help it.

“Well," he began, "I wake up in great form, and then everything begins to get hazy, like I’m in a dreamlike kind of state.” The information he gave me woke me up; something really was off, any intelligent wizard could figure that out.

“What do you do before you feel like that?” I asked gently. Harry had stopped crying and was wiping the last trace of his tears away; I was so glad that I didn’t have to see that any-more.

“I wake up, eat, go to class... and that's when I begin to feel strange.” If that was all he did then it wouldn’t be too difficult finding the reason, or who caused it. Even without proof I knew it was Weasley; she's the only one who would do something like that and get away with it like she is doing. Sadly there are a number of spells and potions she could be using, but finding out which one she was using wasn’t my only task. I had to prove it for the rest of the Wizarding World that Harry's girlfriend put him under a spell.

“You should try to stay away from Weasley,” I said, knowing my reason for why he should stay away from her; but Harry didn't know and the next thing he did was to push me so I stumbled backwards.

“Stop telling me what to do!” I didn't care about his sudden change, seeing as he was clearly still under the influence of whatever Weasley used on him.

“I only meant...” I tried to tell him the reason but couldn't finish my sentence as Harry stopped me.

“You always think that you own me, you bastard!” And before I could stop him he had run up the stairs, leaving me alone in the hall outside Snape's office.

The way he reacted in the end almost made me change my mind about helping him, but not helping him wouldn't help either of us.

*

I know that I should relax when I see Harry and Weasley together. He's not himself, I repeated mentally. After he told me that something was wrong with him I could see it every time I looked at him. But that didn't mean I would blame the massage, kisses or everything else they did on Harry acting strangely.

I knew they would both be going to Hogsmeade, and that gave me an idea. Not only would I seek out one of my old friends, but I would use him to test Harry and Weasley and see how much they will take from me.

Later that evening when I was sat in the common room I sent an owl to a former Slytherin who I knew lived in Hogsmade. He was actually my teacher and mentor when I realised I liked to have many partners. He taught me how to become a better lover, and how to manage and hide my affairs. I waited for a response, which came one hour after I sent my letter.

Blaise, of course I remember you, how could I forget? I would love to meet you Saturday. I'll will be waiting for you.
Ruben

I shouldn't be surprised that he remembered me, or wanted to meet me; after all, he never had me. He was the one that taught me most of the things I know now, but our relationship never crossed that line, surprisingly enough. I don’t really know the reason why we never got together; of course we were both quite active in finding new partners, but that shouldn’t have stopped us from testing each other out. And I couldn't say it was because I thought about him more as a brother, because I did want to fuck him. Maybe my feelings towards him have changed now, seeing as it has been two years since he finished school.

At least I would use him to challenge Weasley, or Harry for that matter; I didn't know which one yet but I didn't care.