A Series of Connecting the Dots

Author's Note: Thanks to Laurel and Robert for beta reading this chapter. And it's my turn again!!!

15-Draco- I’d Rather Be

Saturday. Virginity. Sex. Love. Harry Potter. Michael Corner -all things I didn’t want to think about today but couldn’t seem to avoid. Mere hours ago I had been enjoying Harry’s company during our tutoring sessions while simultaneously wallowing in my own self-pity. Now I was just down to the latter.

How could he give himself over to another boy when there was obviously something between us? How could I actually expect him not to? I was so terribly conflicted over the entire situation; not my feelings for Harry, no those were solid and true even if they were based on a false beginning. Rather, I was feeling conflicted over what to do about my feelings for him. Just the very fact that I even had feelings for Harry meant that I was no longer a Malfoy. I might as well be stripped of my trademark white-blond hair since I was clearly no longer my father’s son.

Try as I might I couldn’t banish my love for Harry into some box that I could simply lock away in the dark; not, this emotion – unlike those before it – refused to be sent away in such a manner. Part of me hated it; the way my love for him slinked through my veins like some foreign toxin, and part of me wanted more - craved the warmth it filled me with in spite of being unrequited. How anyone could live years, or even decades, with such a mournful love life was beyond my grasp. I was only a few weeks in and already I felt like throwing myself from the Astronomy Tower, figuring it would be far better a fate than letting my affection for Harry rip away everything I used to find familiar.

Upon entering the Great Hall for breakfast I searched for Harry’s beautifully familiar face only to find him absent from his usual solitary place at the Gryffindor table. I couldn’t help but wonder if Harry was missing because he was already cleverly seducing Corner in his dorm.

As my eyes flicked to the Ravenclaw table to see Corner sitting alone I realized they must be meeting up later. I was both relieved and sickened by this thought. Corner’s eyes met mine briefly and he seemed relieved, as if his mind had been forming all sorts of scenarios for why Harry and myself would both be missing from breakfast. Unfortunately, none of his twisted assumptions were true. I had slept alone, woken up alone, showered alone and even made the journey to the Great Hall utterly and completely alone. I nodded briefly in his direction, wanting to keep the peace as much as possible. I didn’t care if the boy liked me or not, but I didn’t want him changing his mind about letting Harry be friends with me because, above all else, I wanted Harry to be happy; a feat which would have been impossible if Corner and I continued to openly hate one another. The least I could do was pretend to be cordial towards him.

Nott was whispering heatedly with another Slytherin when I got to our table; I couldn’t make out what they were saying but it seemed rather scandalous. However, based on how closely Pansy was listening in, I could tell it would take no time at all before whatever they were discussing privately would become public knowledge.

“What are you going to do?” the fourth year asked, loud enough for me to hear when I took my seat.

Theo scanned our little group to see who was listening in, but eventually just sighed and slumped further in his chair as if resolved to the fact that everyone would know soon enough anyway. “Father says I’m going to have to marry her and I had better be grateful she’s a pureblood, even though she is a blood traitor. At least the child will be pure and not some tainted half-breed.”

“That’s big, Theo,” the boy exclaimed, shaking his head.

“Tell me about it,” Nott sighed. “I don’t even like her that much, she was just decent shag and now I’m stuck with her for the rest of my life,” he grumbled.

I tuned the conversation out, hoping they weren’t talking about the redheaded harpy I suspected they were. Rumors had been circling in our camp over the last few days that Ginevra was pregnant but I had no idea it had been Theo’s. It would serve the bitch right if she had to marry someone who didn’t even care about her after what she’d done to Harry. I didn’t dare tell Harry of course, because that might harm him beyond emotional repair: hurting Harry was the absolute last thing I wanted to do right now. However, an unexpected smile curled on my face when I imagined Weasley’s reaction to the news as he realized his precious little sister was a Slytherin-loving slut.

Breakfast was over too soon; I would have rather remained in the Great Hall all day if it meant I could keep an eye on Corner to make sure he kept his filthy paws off of my Harry. The Gryffindor really did deserve so much better than that tool of a Ravenclaw, even if it wasn’t me; Harry deserved an equal, and Corner, though obviously adoring, was by no means as perfect or as powerful as Harry Potter. But then, perhaps I wasn’t either; Merlin knew I had my own flaws not so far under the surface of this new man I was becoming. The Dark Mark, carefully concealed under a layer of Vanishing Cream and a long robe sleeve, was indicative of that fact.

As predicted, the Slytherin common room was abuzz with the news of Nott’s little slip - well, big slip actually - but for the most part I tuned it all out. I thought briefly about hiding away in my room, but the chatter and gossiping was the exact distraction I needed –even if I wasn’t actually listening to it. It might even keep me from storming up to the Ravenclaw dorms to pull Harry out of Corner’s arms myself.

The distraction only helped a little however, since I couldn’t care less about any of the details and tuned the gossipmongers out, thoughts of what Harry was up to right then filling my mind. I could envision his sun-kissed form writhing on royal blue sheets, calling out Corner’s name through swollen and abused lips. It was making my entire body shudder with revulsion to think of my Harry in another’s bed, but I couldn’t seem to banish the thoughts.

I got up from my spot on the sofa, ignoring the eyes watching my retreat, and headed for my own room, hell-bent on finding something in my collection of potions that would help me block this day out through blissfully empty slumber. My hand was on the doorknob when I heard a persistent and violent knocking at the common room door. Normally I wouldn’t give such an intrusion a second thought, but something stuck me to the place while Norman Scuttlebaum, a second year who was quite terrified of me and my family’s reputation, went to answer it.

I couldn’t hear the person asking, but when the young boy repeated that they were requesting me, I flew across the room as fast as my legs would carry me, hoping against hope that it was the only person I wanted to see. I wasn’t let down. Harry stood there looking disheveled even in the shadow of the dungeon corridor, but regardless of his state he had the widest smile I’d ever seen planted on that beautiful face of his.

Had it already happened? Was he coming to cruelly rub it in? No, that wasn’t Harry’s style; he wasn’t spiteful or mean like so many of the people in my life. Harry was lovely and pure and far too good for me. It was obviously something else that drove him to my door, panting like he had run through the entire castle to get here.

“Potter, what are you doing harassing my housemates?” I teased, trying to study his expression and discern his reason for trekking all the way down here to ask after me. It was only then that I took a step forward into the hall and noticed the already purple bruise shading his otherwise perfect jaw. “Did he hit you?” I demanded with a growl, ready to Cruciatus that arsehat of a Ravenclaw into insanity; no one hurt my Harry and lived to speak of it. No one.

“Ron,” he replied simply, as if it were nothing at all to tell me his former best friend had inflicted such a wound. My vengeance, however, simply shifted faces as I imagined Cursing a redhead instead of a brunet.

“Are you okay?” I asked quietly, my fingers automatically going to the afflicted jaw as if my touch alone could heal him. I wanted so desperately to help him, but I still didn’t even know why he was here and not with his boyfriend. I didn’t understand the sudden shift in events; Harry had never come calling on me at the Slytherin dorms before. I was unprepared for the unprecedented nature of his visit. “What happened?”

I got no response, just a set of gleaming emerald eyes staring back at me, as if willing me to invade his mind and pull out what he wanted to say aloud. The pieces clicked together for me at once, the fight, which had no doubt happened because of the very news that every Slytherin in the common room was currently gossiping about. The afflicted jaw must have been Weasley jumping to conclusions about the baby’s paternity, but even before I heard the baby was Nott’s I knew it wasn’t Harry’s. No doubt Weasley would have worse in store for the real father on their next run-in, though it looked like the brunt of the boy’s anger had been taken out on Harry’s poor jaw.

My first instinct was to carry the boy off to see Pomfrey, but he looked so vulnerable and happy just standing there in the Slytherin doorway that I could do nothing but stare back. That was, until I saw the spark in Harry’s bright eyes. Something had changed; something was vastly different than it was last night, or perhaps even just twenty minutes ago. There was clearly some reason he had run to me with his injury and not his boyfriend but I didn’t dare make assumptions that could very well be wrong; I couldn’t stand the hurt - I’d already endured so much. Still, Harry seemed determined, bold, and looked almost hungry as he stood there in front of me, his emerald gaze locked on my own.

I didn’t know what to say or do, his silence was killing me as my mind clutched onto the hope that Harry had come for me and not for my protection from some Gryffindor bully. I wanted to violently squash the hope I felt, I hated it for getting me so riled up again, but when Harry whispered my name I felt hope tighten its hold on me and I knew I’d never be released, and I didn’t want to be.

“Draco.”

Hearing Harry speak my name for the first time meant so much and I would move the heavens just to hear the almost reverent way in which it fell from his beautiful lips. I knew it was bold, perhaps a deal breaker if I had been misinterpreting him, but I couldn’t help myself; I pulled him against me with more violence than I had intended and I kissed him. I had a momentary lapse of helplessness, thinking for just a second that I had gotten it all wrong, before he kissed me back. Suddenly my life held meaning, suddenly the world wasn’t such a horrid place filled with idiots and liars. No, my world was now Harry’s and his mine.

My pulse was erratic as we kissed and it was far better than anything I could have imagined in my wildest fantasies. I pulled him closer, trying to absorb all the pleasure he gave me and pull it inside of me as I kissed him. He moaned into my mouth sending me higher until I worried what it would be like to crash back down to Earth from such a glorious touch.

I didn’t have to wait long for the answer as a shrill voice interrupted our bliss. “Piss off,” Pansy hissed to the second year who had opened the door for Harry. “You’re too young to see this!”

“But everyone else is watching,” Scuttlebaum whined as he was shoved away.

Parting from those succulent lips pained me so much that I lashed out at our intruders with the kind of venom I usually reserved for Hufflepuff’s, not my own housemates. I was desperately worried that with the kiss broken, whatever spell Harry was under would be too and I would find that nothing had changed between us, that we were still just trying to manage an awkward and tense friendship. In fact, Harry’s hand clinging to my own was the only thing that kept me from hexing the arses off of everyone in that common room. “Why don’t you all piss off,” I growled. “Bunch of perverts,” I added in a lower tone as an after thought before pulling Harry away from the Slytherin vultures and into my dorm, locking the door behind us with a flick of my wand.

My whole body called out for me to attack those lips again, but the logical part of my brain stopped me and demanded answers; I needed to be sure of that this was before I let my emotions run away with me. “I think there might be an explanation in order,” I told him, clutching his hand tighter within my own, unwilling to let him go. Part of me was afraid I had made it up to my room earlier and had fallen asleep; I was terrified this was only my vivid imagination putting Harry here with me and not reality at all. His smile dropped at my words and he bit into his bottom lip, a gesture that was too adorable for words, before looking up at me with that haunting green gaze.

“I left Mike,” he replied simply, looking guilty.

My mind rejected the words and I cocked my head in question, bidding Harry to repeat himself. “You left him? Today?”

Harry nodded. “Earlier today. I would have been here sooner, but-” he muttered, his sentence trailing off as he gestured to his abused jaw.

I had nearly forgotten Harry’s injury in my haste for snogging and answers –it was fairly obvious where my priorities lay. With a precise spell my mother had taught me ages ago I healed Harry’s jaw, smiling as the forming purple bruise receded from his perfect features. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before beaming up at me in thanks.

“Did you break things off before, or after?” I asked cautiously, hoping he understood my question; I didn’t think I could form the words to directly ask him if he was still a virgin. I directed him over to my bed as I spoke, pushing the curtains aside before I offered him a seat. I could feel his pulse speed up against my hand as he sat down, pulling me to the mattress to sit beside him. It was as if he was just as afraid to let our hands drop as I was.

“Does it matter? Would you turn me away if I was no longer a virgin?” he asked me hesitantly, and all I could do was stare at him a moment as I tried to form an answer to a question I hadn’t expected. All my scheming from weeks ago flitted through my mind, my resolve to take the Gryffindor Golden Boy’s purity and my petty and mean reasons behind my wish for it. I no longer felt that way about the boy who sat across from me. I loved Harry, and I didn’t care if he was still a virgin or not; who was I to judge anyway? However, my love for him didn’t change the fact that I didn’t want to be runner up for Harry’s affections. I needed to know how and why things between them ended before I turned over my heart into his hand.

“It only matters in the sense that I don’t want to be your second choice,” I replied at last, trying to put it as delicately as possible. “What happened?”

He winced, as if reliving the moment he broke up with the Ravenclaw. One thing that always fascinated me about Harry was how big his heart was; never capable of shutting someone out completely once they’ve wormed themselves into his life. Lucky for me I guess. “I didn’t actually have sex with him, but we came close…” his voice trailed off as he looked to be reliving the most likely tragic moment –for Corner at least. “I just couldn’t go through with it.”

“Why not?” I asked, probing his gaze for the answer. “I thought that was what you wanted.”

“Mike loves me,” Harry began, looking a bit ill over it. “But I don’t love him. I think I might be in love with someone else.”

Harry looked at me meaningfully and my heart skipped a beat at his words but I refused to show my joy. I was still too worried that this was all some elaborate prank. Up until moments ago Harry seemed set on his future with Corner and I was still leery of hope. Perhaps Harry was just confused and looking for an outlet, and as much as I wanted the boy in my life I cared too much for him to fall into that role; I would only end up demanding more of him than he could give. “Anyone I know?” I asked, my tone teasing, but the shake in my voice betrayed my nerves.

“Well, he is a Slytherin,” Harry replied, playing along. “So, there is a good chance you’ve seen him around a time or two.”

“Didn’t anyone tell you that Slytherins are bad news, Harry?” I asked, my eyes flicking to the gorgeous flush on Harry’s cheeks. “What does he look like?”

“He’s alright,” Harry remarked coyly and a slow smile curled on my lips.

“Only alright?” I pressed and Harry nodded and laughed –a laugh that made my entire body feel lighter.

“Yeah, you know, perfect blond hair, brilliant gray eyes, beautiful pale skin,” he commented casually. “In fact, come to think of it, he looks a lot like you.”

“Ah, well that explains the kiss, must have been a case of mistaken identities. I think I know that bloke,” I told him, trying to keep my face serious. “I can take you to his dorm if you like,” I offered, pulling Harry up and toward the door. I only got three steps before he grabbed my tie with his free hand and pulled me to him roughly.

His lips sought mine and I yielded at once, relishing in the feel of his swollen lips pressed to mine, the taste of his tongue probing my mouth. I moaned for him, a noise that vibrated up through my chest and he kissed me harder in response. I pulled us back to the bed, refusing to break the kiss as we moved. We fell sideways to the mattress, and when we finally broke apart, we were staring at each other from inches apart. “So you chose me?” I asked, my voice a soft whisper against his skin.

“I chose you,” he confirmed, a tender smile on his abused lips. Merlin, how I loved this boy.

Harry let my hand go so that he could reach up and caress my face, and I nearly winced at the loss, not even realizing that Harry’s hand had almost melded with my own as if he was already becoming part of me. “I don’t want to let you go,” I admitted, imagining what it might feel like to have Harry wrenched from my life now that it seemed I had him at last.

“Then don’t,” Harry replied firmly, clutching me to him.

I leaned in and pressed a delicate kiss to his forehead, right on his famous scar and Harry gasped, his fingertips going to the lightning bolt shape as if I’d hurt him. “I’m sorry!” I exclaimed, angry with myself for injuring him so soon. “Did that hurt?” I hoped he could hear the apology in my voice.

“No,” he assured me quickly, and though he was still wincing, his hand was on my arm before I could pull away. “It’s just, no one ever touches it. They gawk at it and make assumptions about me because of it but… I think you’re the first person to ever touch it like that. Most people seem afraid of it.”

I sighed with relief, happy that I hadn’t inadvertently caused Harry pain of some kind. I smiled across at him and ran my fingertips gently along the jagged lines of the scar before pressing another kiss into it. “I love it,” I told him honestly, but he frowned at me, his nose wrinkling up slightly to show me he didn’t believe my words, or care for them if he did. “I do,” I promised. “It’s a symbol of your strength and power. It’s an important part of you and I love every part of you.”

His eyes closed against my words and I could tell he was fighting not to blush. I used the distraction to place a kiss on his nose, another on his cheek, and then a soft press of lips to his temple. I could only reach half of his face from the way we had fallen into bed, but I propped myself up with my elbow and made the most of the part of his face exposed to me. My hands brushed back his adorably unruly hair and he sighed my name at the touch, his eyes remaining closed.

“Say it again,” I urged, trailing my fingertips down his arm.

“Draco,” he obliged, his voice a seductive whisper. If I hadn’t already been hard from just kissing and lying there with him, just the sound of Harry’s voice saying my name would have brought me to full arousal in an instant. Then he said something else, a sibilant hiss that made his tongue roll curiously in his mouth and I nearly came in my trousers. I had never heard anything so erotic in all my life –well, perhaps once, in second year.

“What was that?” I asked, my voice fully betraying my lust.

“Your name in Parseltongue,” he replied easily. His eyes were open now and twinkling at me with amusement. Apparently it was clearer than I would have liked that his special ability turned me on so thoroughly.

“You like that, hmm?” he cooed, sounding far too smug about it.

“I might,” I conceded and pulled him against me so that he could feel exactly how much I liked it. I gasped as he grabbed me through my denims. I had not expected the Gryffindor to be so bold, but I was glad he was; I preferred him this way. I was in no need of some weeping willow who wasn’t comfortable enough in his own skin to be sure of who he was and what he wanted. Harry seemed comfortable; in fact, he seemed more confident than I felt at the moment. Harry responded by rattling off another string of hisses, making my eyelids flutter involuntarily at the sound. I had no idea what he was saying, but he could have invited me to assist him in stomping puppies and I would have agreed to it in that moment. “What did you say?” I prodded when I could breathe again without panting.

“Nothing.” His smirk plainly said that ‘nothing’ was a gross understatement of what he’d actually said, but I was distracted from questioning him further when his nimble fingers reached for the button on my trousers.

“Why did you come here, Harry?” I asked abruptly, suddenly worried about what his intentions were. I wanted the raven-haired boy more than anything, but not like this, not moments after he’d left his boyfriend’s bed. I internally scoffed at my reasoning. Here I was, suddenly too moral to shag Harry Potter, who was practically offering himself to me on a red and gold platter, when just weeks ago I had been wishing for this very opportunity. Call it growth or stupidity, I wasn’t even sure which it was myself, but I couldn’t take him this way.

After so much time spent scheming and chasing I found I didn’t have it in me to bed Harry like this. I wanted a relationship, I wanted to sit with him in class and share our meals together and fall asleep next to his warm naked body –and, of course, I wanted sex, lots of it- but in that moment I just wanted to melt into him and let us just be together.

“To tell you that I’m yours if you want me,” he whispered, looking suddenly anxious. “Was I wrong in assuming that you did?”

“Merlin, no!” I proclaimed far louder than needed. I didn’t want Harry to get the wrong idea about why I was hesitant. “It’s just that you were with Corner just this morning. Don’t you think that maybe you’ll need some time to adjust to this?”

Harry grinned and shook his head in mock-dismay. “You’re turning me away after you fought so hard for this very thing?”

“I’m not turning you away,” I insisted. “I’m just issuing a rain check. I want more than just sex from you and I don’t want to rush into anything.” With that said, I kissed him, hoping he felt just how much more I wanted of him. I was a greedy Slytherin and I would demand much from Harry in return for my love and I needed him to be ready. I would require his trust, respect and love in return –and his body as well, oh yes, there was no way I could forget about the glorious body I was sure lurked under those form fitting denims and tee shirt.

Harry melted into me and I slowed the kiss, making it into a more tender movement as I explored his still far too clothed body with my hands. He twisted himself slightly in my grasp so that his entire body was lined with mine, every inch pressed against me. I felt like I could feel his blood thrumming in his veins as I heard his breath come in needy gasps, and I could feel my whole body responding to him even though all we were doing was lying there fully clothed, ‘innocently’ kissing. Eventually my roaming fingers found the hem of his shirt and lifted, freeing him from the confines of the smooth cotton so that I could get a better look at him.

He was magnificent; his body perfectly sculpted and gently kissed by the sun’s rays, his chest heaving from what I hoped was want and not fear. I let my fingertips roam every inch of his chest, pausing to pinch at his hardening nipples, making the boy gasp and nearly arch off the bed. I quirked an eyebrow up at him, finally feeling I had the upper hand after his bout of Parseltongue. But, when I attacked his nipples with my tongue he made the most cock-hardening noise I could have imagined. It was a cross between a stream of snake-speak and a deep throaty moan, making me reconsider my previous pledge of temporary chastity.

Within moments he was tugging me free of my own shirt, his hands immediately going to the clasp on my trousers the minute my shirt was off. I grabbed my wand, which had at some point been discarded on the bed, and used it to close the curtains shut and cast a silent bubble around us in case anyone decided to break my locking spell on the door. I shared the room with four other boys after all and they were all Slytherin through and through. We both scrambled out of the remainder of our clothes and soon I was graced with the very sight that had been haunting my dreams for weeks, only it was far better than anything my imagination had conjured up for me thus far.

I hadn’t realized how much darker Harry’s skin was than mine until it was pressed naked against me. Even his legs, which I doubt saw much sunlight, were a few shades darker than my own flesh at its darkest point. Everything from our skin to our hair, even our eyes stood out in stark contrast to one another. Light meets dark, sun meets moon, yin meets yang. We couldn’t be more polar opposites if we tried, but I think that only fueled my feelings for him. Harry was a bit of a mystery to me; he had made entirely different decisions from me, and led a completely different childhood than I had, all while carrying immense pressure and managing to keep his head held high.

His body was virtually unmarred at first sight until I looked closer. In the flickering candlelight I could see several faint scars on his body and I lovingly traced each one with my tongue, making him gasp and writhe beneath me. “Harry,” I whispered against his skin, letting my tone vibrate across his heated flesh. “You’re perfect.”

Another string of Parseltongue met my ears and thrummed through me and I could no longer take the lust Harry brought forth within me. I licked a trail down Harry’s body, smiling as he groaned in appreciation and took the boy’s cock into my mouth. When I looked up the expanse of his torso, propped up on straining elbows, I saw his green eyes staring back widely at me, as if he hadn’t expected the movement, but as soon as I twirled my tongue around his shaft, dipping gently into the slit at the top, his entire body sagged back to the pillows with a shuddering moan.

He tasted like warm honey, salt and desire as I devoured him, and his hand tangled in my hair. He wasn’t forcing my head, just urging me onward –not that I needed the encouragement; I’d been dreaming of doing this for weeks. I had one hand clutching his thigh, digging my fingertips into the supple flesh, as my other hand pumped the base of his cock while I worked the top with my mouth. When I felt his body start to tense up, however, I pulled away to an audible whimper.

When I looked up, Harry was practically pouting up at me and I smiled before crawling back up his body and taking his full bottom lip between my teeth. “I don’t want you to come that way,” I told him to ease his flustered state and assure him that I wasn’t yet finished with him. He looked confused for a moment, as if he couldn’t think of any other way. I just smirked and with a rough movement, I switched our positions so that I was lying on my back gazing up into his wide eyes. “I want you to make love to me, Harry,” I told him firmly, my cock twitching at the very words and the thought of what they may lead to.

“What?” Harry asked, looking slightly shocked. “But you told me you always topped.”

“You’ll be my first,” I whispered, sounding calmer than I thought I would be after making such a decision so easily. It seemed right though –for both of us. We would both have our first time together, and this way I could prove to Harry that I wanted more than just to fuck the Great Harry Potter by giving over my heart and body completely.

His face flushed but a slow smile curled onto those pretty pink lips until he crashed into me with a desperate kiss. Harry’s hands traveled my body as we kissed; sending electric sparks straight through to my still hard groin. I wanted so badly for him to take me and I realized that I had never felt as alive as I did then, completely vulnerable and naked for Harry’s judgment. I knew I was in good hands though, and I lifted my legs to lock them around Harry’s waist, loving that he rutted against me from the movement.

I cast a silent spell and my wand twitched on the bed beside us. I chuckled darkly when Harry yelped in response to the outcome of the Charm. It had probably startled him to find his cock suddenly slick and, no doubt, he would find it even more startling to find that I was stretched and ready for him. His fingertips dug into my arse as he lifted me to gain a better angle and lined himself against my entrance. “Please,” I begged; I was never much for the sentiment but I had never wanted anything more in my entire life than for Harry to possess me completely.

He slid into me agonizingly slowly, each inch filling me to the bursting point, but just when I thought it might be too much pain to handle, he hissed my name in Parseltongue and my body automatically relaxed into the feeling of him thrusting inside of me. “Faster,” I pleaded, and he obliged me, a new string of snake sounds meeting my ears. I was really going to have to force him to teach me the language; I should be able to learn it -I was a Slytherin after all.

It didn’t take long for the combination of Harry’s hisses and long deep strokes inside of me to bring me close to the edge of complete bliss, leaving my cock feeling like it was ready to burst. Harry didn’t even have to touch me before my orgasm exploded between our entwined bodies, pulling his name from my throat in a raspy scream. I could tell the exact moment of his own release because he squeezed his eyes shut and lolled his head back and I heard my name chanted over and over in Parseltongue before he finally sighed and fell upon me. He stayed wrapped around me and continued to fill me as we both grew flaccid and warm in our sticky embrace. I pressed a kiss to his now sweaty forehead and he looked up at me, his eyes shining with so much love that I thought my heart would break from the sight.

Merlin, how I adored him. His messy hair, his pouting lips, his piercing emerald eyes were all lovely to look at, but that heart of his… Harry’s heart was what made me swoon like a silly teenage girl. “I love you, Harry,” I whispered. I loved him more than myself, more than my own blood.

His eyes widened slightly at my words, but he eventually relaxed against me, his chin propped up on my chest, and he grinned. “I love you, too.”

Those words from his perfect lips made all of my doubts that this was just some fluke rendezvous disappear and made all of my life seem as though it was leading up to this singular moment with Harry in my arms. I just stared at him; my legs still wrapped around his tired body, as I fanned my fingers through his sweaty, raven locks. But, my calm peace wasn’t to last long apparently. It wasn’t until his fingertips drifted over the place where the Dark Lord had marked me that I realized the full weight of what we had just done.

My body tensed slightly and my eyes flicked down to see if there was some faint ghosting of the mark visible on my arm, but there was no sign for Harry to see that he had just lain with a Death Eater. For the first time in Harry’s company I felt ashamed and completely unworthy of his affection. I didn’t want to lie to him, but as he rested there so comfortably against my bare chest, I couldn’t work up the nerve to tell him what I really was. I couldn’t risk his leaving me now; he was my everything. Possibly worse was the fact that no spell or potion would ever keep this memory out of my head if Voldemort probed me, there was no easy way for me to hide this now that we had taken things so far. I might have sealed my own destruction by giving myself over to my father’s enemy.

“You’re going to have to teach me Parseltongue,” I mused, breaking my negative thoughts and the silence that had drifted between us.

“Not on your life,” he teased with a smile. “It’s too much fun knowing that you don’t understand me.” I gave him my best Malfoy pout, one that would win me any treat I wished for when I was younger, but he only chuckled up at me and shook his head resolutely.

“Prat,” I balked, but he kept laughing.

“Arse,” he responded in turn, trying to keep his tone serious and failing.

“Gryffindor,” I countered but he only stretched up awkwardly to kiss me before I had time to protest.

“Gryffindor lover,” he whispered when he pulled back, smirking at me every bit like a Slytherin.

“Touché.”

We laughed and talked about the most light-hearted, unimportant things either of us could think of, but I didn’t care. I was so happy there in his tight embrace. I felt as though the whole world had melted away and left us here alone together, and it was perfect. Unfortunately, I eventually had to let my roommates back into the room, and Harry had to get back to his own dorms before curfew, but everything between us had changed. My entire life had been turned completely upside down by those beautiful green eyes.

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The comfortable companionship I had felt with Harry the day before turned into an awkward moment of truth the next morning at breakfast. I hadn’t been giving the meal much thought really, my mind was focused simply on seeing Harry again while I made the walk from the dank dungeons across the castle to the Great Hall. When I walked in, the Slytherin table went silent, holding their breath to see what I would do. It was only then that I realized Harry and I were the new gossip amongst our house; the public snogging of mortal enemies would do that I suppose, especially when followed by several hours locked alone together in my room. I wondered how far the news had traveled already, but it seemed confined only to my house for the moment, probably because each and every Slytherin student was terrified to let a rumor about Draco Malfoy leak to the general public, as well they should be.

The other three tables were abuzz with the usual Sunday morning clamor with an added dash of pregnant Gryffindor gossip thrown in for good measure. I spotted Harry at once, his green gaze locked on me from the far end of the Gryffindor table. It was then I became aware I was going to have to make a decision and I didn’t want to make the wrong one. Did I head for Harry, thus confirming the Slytherin rumors and allowing the other houses to pick up on our newfound relationship? Or did I go to my own house table to quell the rumors and later talk to the Gryffindor about what level of openness he wanted us to have to the rest of the student body? We hadn’t discussed any of this, and in hindsight we should have. Our being a couple –and again, this was me merely assuming that after yesterday we were indeed a couple- was going to blow the gossip about Ginny’s pregnancy out of the water and I knew Harry was a very private person. I wasn’t sure he was ready for that yet, I wasn’t sure I was ready either, for that matter. My father finding out about us could have deadly consequences.

With a deep breath I damned them all and headed toward Harry’s lonely spot at the Gryffindor table, scrutinizing his every move to see if he wanted me to divert my path or keep going. He gave no gesture either way so I found myself standing there awkwardly by where he sat, staring down at the empty place on the bench beside him. “Is this seat taken?” I asked and his previously calm and stony face broke into a smile. He shook his head and I sat down and wondered what to do next.

I’d never had a boyfriend before, not really. Hell, I’d never really had a girlfriend either. Everyone liked to assume that I had dated Pansy because she rarely left my side, but that was not of my doing and I certainly didn’t encourage it. Parkinson was more like my stalker than my girlfriend. I didn’t even know if I could safely call Harry by that title anyway, I didn’t know how he felt about it. I doubted he was the type to just shag someone and call it a day, but what else did he want from me? What did normal couples do? And why was I suddenly being such a neurotic girl over the whole thing?

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly before giving Harry the full weight of my gaze. “So, now what?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound as nervous as I felt. I had no reason to be nervous; this was my Harry, he was kind and perfect and all mine… right? Still, what if I messed it all up? What if the rumors about our relationship reached my father’s ears, or worse, Voldemort’s, and I wasn’t able to lie my way out of them? What if Harry had changed his mind about me after he’d left my room last night?

Millions of questions raced through my mind, but I received no answers because Harry’s gaze left mine and flicked instead to a figure that had come up behind me. “Ron,” he greeted curtly and I whirled to face the boy who had attacked my beautiful Harry yesterday.

Harry must have seen my body tense and my hand reach for my wand, because he set a calming hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. I remained still, but I didn’t like it. I wanted to Hex Weasley’s freckled face off for the bruise he’d left on Harry’s jaw. I just sat there and waited, as patiently as a Slytherin could, for Harry to lead the conversation with his old friend and housemate. Even if I were in fact his boyfriend, it wouldn’t be my place to interfere.

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Author's Note: bum bum bum!!! Now what's going to happen? What will Ron do?! Also, I know there have been some complaints about the repeatativeness of the chapters, but we feel it's important the reader gets both sides of all major events, and in this case, it'll mean double the smut, so hooray for sticking with us!!!