HP Fandom Cliff Notes
folder
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
23
Views:
6,629
Reviews:
49
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
23
Views:
6,629
Reviews:
49
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Lames (Lily/James)
Lily/James
Lames (Lily/James)
“I'm so amazingly beautiful.”
“I'm a wealthy young pureblood wizard.”
“We make a great wealthy white suburban couple, don't we?”
“Oh yes. All our single friends love us.”
“Their lives revolve around us.”
“They are completely devoted to us, just like they should be.”
“And those who didn't like us back in school were ugly outcasts, so who cares?”
“True, they are inconsequential. No act of teenage cruelty will ever come back to haunt us.”
“Let's make a baby.”
“All right.”
*sex sex sex*
*nine months later*
“Awww, it's a male baby! How utterly fitting!”
“He's got my eyes!”
“Let's call him Marmaduke.”
“How 'bout Harry?”
“Oh, fine.”
*dangerous times*
“I'm scared.”
“Don't be, love. We are perfectly safe here. We are a wealthy white suburban couple. Nobody could hurt us. Remember, all our single friends love us, and are completely devoted to us. Nobody would ever betray us.”
*sound of door opening*
“Oh crap.”
“Run, Lily, run! Take the baby and run! I'll hold them off!”
“But, James!”
“Protect the Potter line from extinction! Stand in front of the Killing Curse if you have to!”
“Fuck you, James!”
*killing curses thrown around*
“I am the Dark Lord. I just killed your husband. Hand over the child.”
*shrug* “I don't think I'm cut out to be a single mum, to be perfectly honest. You wanna raise him? Here you go.” *hands baby Harry over to Voldemort*
“He's...” *voice shakes with emotion* “He's beautiful.”
*proudly* “He's got my eyes.”
*speculative look* “You doing anything tonight?”
“Huh? Are you asking me out?”
“No, but one of my Death Eaters fancies you. His hair is a bit greasy, but other than that, he's not so bad to look at. And you know, skilled hands, sexy voice...”
*bright smile* “What do you know, things are looking up.”
--- THE END----
awww if you got a giggle outta this, do leave a comment!
Lames (Lily/James)
“I'm so amazingly beautiful.”
“I'm a wealthy young pureblood wizard.”
“We make a great wealthy white suburban couple, don't we?”
“Oh yes. All our single friends love us.”
“Their lives revolve around us.”
“They are completely devoted to us, just like they should be.”
“And those who didn't like us back in school were ugly outcasts, so who cares?”
“True, they are inconsequential. No act of teenage cruelty will ever come back to haunt us.”
“Let's make a baby.”
“All right.”
*sex sex sex*
*nine months later*
“Awww, it's a male baby! How utterly fitting!”
“He's got my eyes!”
“Let's call him Marmaduke.”
“How 'bout Harry?”
“Oh, fine.”
*dangerous times*
“I'm scared.”
“Don't be, love. We are perfectly safe here. We are a wealthy white suburban couple. Nobody could hurt us. Remember, all our single friends love us, and are completely devoted to us. Nobody would ever betray us.”
*sound of door opening*
“Oh crap.”
“Run, Lily, run! Take the baby and run! I'll hold them off!”
“But, James!”
“Protect the Potter line from extinction! Stand in front of the Killing Curse if you have to!”
“Fuck you, James!”
*killing curses thrown around*
“I am the Dark Lord. I just killed your husband. Hand over the child.”
*shrug* “I don't think I'm cut out to be a single mum, to be perfectly honest. You wanna raise him? Here you go.” *hands baby Harry over to Voldemort*
“He's...” *voice shakes with emotion* “He's beautiful.”
*proudly* “He's got my eyes.”
*speculative look* “You doing anything tonight?”
“Huh? Are you asking me out?”
“No, but one of my Death Eaters fancies you. His hair is a bit greasy, but other than that, he's not so bad to look at. And you know, skilled hands, sexy voice...”
*bright smile* “What do you know, things are looking up.”
--- THE END----
awww if you got a giggle outta this, do leave a comment!