The Burden of Memory

Authors Note: *** To anyone who hasn't already seen, I've posted a new Oneshot called Only Fools Rush In. It's quite long, so be warned. Don't get me wrong, I love Lara, and she'll get her own happy ending, just not with Draco. Thanks to Shannon who has been working as beta on this story since the beginning! Also, I've started a yahoo group for anyone who wishes to join which I will be using for various things related to my fiction including update alerts, story/chapter discussion and other things. If you're interested you can join at groups dot yahoo dot com/group/Digitallace/

Chapter 15 Distractions

Draco padded quietly to Harry’s bedroom door. He had just said his goodbyes to Hermione, who was in a bit of a hurry to leave after Harry’s outburst. Ron was probably over at Lara’s spilling Harry’s secret and that infuriated him. He would rather Lara take out her anger on him rather than Harry who, despite a couple brief lapses in judgment, was actually trying to put her before his own happiness.

Though his perception so far, and everything he could remember about Harry, told him that this was not an uncommon thing for Harry to do. It seemed that what Harry wanted was almost always secondary to what the people he loved wanted.

He knocked once and waited, but no answer came so he knocked a second time and was greeted with a shouted ‘go away’ from inside.

“Harry, it’s me. Please open up,” Draco called through the firmly shut door. It was times like these he missed his wand. Though he only remembered a few spells, and usually only noticed that his was missing when Harry used magic, which wasn’t a lot. Harry seemed to like doing certain things without the use of a wand.

Draco was about to give up and go back to the living room, allowing Harry to sulk in peace, when he heard the click of the door unlocking and looked up to see a pair of brilliant green eyes staring back at him.

“I’m sorry,” Draco whispered before Harry could tell him to bugger off.

Harry nodded, a frown still etched into his forehead making his scar look lopsided, but he opened the door a little further to allow Draco passage inside. He paced over to the bed and sat sullenly on the edge of it, not meeting Draco’s gaze.

“You just had to push it didn’t you?” Harry muttered and Draco went to sit beside him, happy when Harry didn’t move away.

“I really am sorry. I just… it didn’t seem like you were going to tell him and I started getting upset,” Draco replied.

Harry shook his head. “I wasn’t going to tell him,” he huffed.

“Are you ashamed of me? Is it like Ron said? Harry Potter’s too good to be with a death eater?” Draco asked, getting up and moving to the other side of the room. He felt the air escape him and his eyes betrayed him as tears welled to their surface.

“Merlin, no,” Harry shouted, watching Draco from across the room. “It’s all about baby steps with Ron. It took him seven years and several temper tantrums before he came to terms with his feelings for Hermione. I was just going to let the first bit of news settle in before I threw in the other. I think it was Hermione that put it best when she said Ron has the emotional depth of a teaspoon,” Harry muttered.

Draco sighed and nodded. He could understand that, and most of him had, but then there was that part of him that thought Harry was keeping it from his best friends because he never intended for anything to happen between them. “And you and I?” Draco asked tentatively, not sure what Harry’s answer would be.

“Have a lot of work to do,” Harry grumbled. “I’ve been neglecting your memories and I think we should get back to them right away. Until you’re one hundred percent I don’t feel like we can possibly pursue a relationship.”

Draco looked at him incredulously. “You really think I’m going to change my mind?” he asked, feeling the first stirrings of anger boiling under his flesh.

“Look at how quickly you changed your mind about Lara,” Harry noted and Draco gaped.

“That’s not the same thing at all and you know it,” Draco shouted and Harry merely shrugged.

“What happens if we’re looking through your memories and it turns out you were in love with someone else? Will you just drop those feelings and decide to be with me instead?” Harry asked. “Or, what if your parents already have someone picked out for you to marry? Did any of this ever occur to you?”

Harry made frustratingly good points and Draco was unwilling to hurt Harry as he had Lara, so he supposed he had to give, but he didn’t like it. In fact, the very thought of letting Harry win an argument seemed to go against his very nature, but he steeled himself and nodded curtly. “Fine. Then lets get this over with so that I can fuck you already,” Draco grumbled.

A shocked bark of laughter escaped Harry’s lips and he gaped at Draco’s boldness. “Who says you’ll be the one doing the fucking?” Harry asked, a wide grin plastering his face.

“Really Potter, you didn’t think I was going to be the bottom did you?” Draco asked haughtily.

“I hadn’t actually thought about,” Harry replied, still unable to wipe the crooked grin from his face.

“Liar,” Draco challenged.

Harry blushed furiously and looked away, eliciting a deep chuckle from Draco. He stalked over and straddled the raven-haired boy, suckling the skin beneath Harry’s ear. “So tell me, Harry,” Draco whispered against his ear before biting the lobe lightly. “Who’s doing the fucking in your fantasies?”

The Gryffindor shuddered violently beneath him, breathing soft moans of pleasure against Draco’s touch. “You,” he finally whispered and Draco grabbed his face roughly in response, kissing him deeply, letting his tongue show Harry exactly what he had in store for him when the time came.

Draco ground his cock against Harry’s lap and felt the immediate response as Harry arched up to meet him, and pressed himself more fully against Draco’s body. Harry’s head fell back, his lips parted slightly as Draco drove his hand between them, massaging Harry’s erection through his jeans.

“Fuck,” Harry whimpered as he pushed into Draco’s hand and dug his fingers into the firm jean clad thighs still draped over his own.

“My pleasure,” Draco whispered against his neck, nipping and licking the soft flesh.

“Wait,” Harry breathed and scurried backward, away from Draco’s urgent lips, leaving Draco to nearly fall to the floor.

“You’re really quite stubborn,” Draco huffed, shifting his trousers to better accommodate his erection.

“So I’ve been told,” Harry replied, still trying to catch his breath, but looking deeply apologetic.

Draco rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest. “Well, you might as well get off of the bed since we’re not going to get off in the bed.”

Harry chuckled and slid off to stand in front of Draco, pulling him into a soft kiss. “Sorry,” he whispered afterward, still clutching Draco’s sharp hips.

“Tease,” Draco grumbled with a smirk.

“So it’s true then?”

Harry and Draco looked over in unison to see Lara standing in the doorway looking very violent and heartbroken. Draco tired to step away but Harry held him firmly against his own body. “If you’re referring to my having feelings for Draco, then: yes, it’s true,” Harry replied.

Her gaze drifted to Harry’s face, and then down to his hands, still holding Draco intimately close. “How long have you been fucking my fiancé, Harry?” she growled.

“We haven’t,” Draco blurted and regretted it immediately when Lara’s angry eyes fell on him instead.

“Please. You expect me to believe that? Look at you both. You’re all rumpled and nearly salivating,” she scoffed.

Harry cringed and let his hands fall from Draco’s waist. “Lara, I swear we haven’t done anything more than kiss.”

She shook her head and Harry saw the wet trails on her cheeks and the redness of her eyes. “I expected more from you, Harry,” she said, he voice quivering with a new wave of tears.

“I know you did, and I couldn’t be more sorry,” Harry replied sullenly.

“So now you’re just going to date him?” she asked, a furious sadness emanating from her body.

“No,” Harry and Draco both responded in unison. “I’m going to help him get his memory back and then we’ll see what happens,” Harry replied.

She looked up then, a bit shocked at Harry’s words. “You’re not going to date him now?”

Harry shook his head. “No. I still feel the same way as I felt when you were dating him. We can’t be certain of things when he doesn’t have all his memories.”

Draco nodded and sighed. He had accepted Harry’s terms so there was no reason to balk at them now in front of Lara. “We didn’t want to hurt you,” he added. “Harry was adamant about making sure you were okay with it before we did anything.”

“And if I’m not?” she asked suddenly, turning to Harry. “If I asked you not to date him?”

Her eyes were a brilliant green and just looking at her tear streaked face he was reminded of his mother. Harry winced and looked back and forth between them. On one side, Draco Malfoy, his oldest enemy turned potential love interest, and on the other side Lara, one of his only living family members that still spoke to him and didn’t treat him like a leper.

“Lara,” he whined. “Please don’t make me choose.”

The injured animal look spread across her face and she nodded. “You would choose him,” she said, more a statement than a question.

“I didn’t say that,” Harry amended.

“You didn’t say anything,” Draco said, looking equally hurt.

Harry ran his hands through his hair and bit down hard on his bottom lip to keep from screaming. “Stop it, both of you. This isn’t fair. I won’t be making a decision either way until Draco gets his memory back. Why don’t we discuss this then?” he said firmly.

“Do you really think you can live with him, sleep with him every night and nothing will happen?” Lara demanded. “Ron said you were flirting with each other all day. I saw you kiss, what more is there to dating aside from actually fucking?”

Harry paled and Draco felt a smug grin plaster his face. Harry was already dating him. Lara was right.

“I… we’re not dating. Dating has to be a conscious thing,” Harry protested.

“She has a point, Harry. We see each other all day every day, we even sleep in the same bed, we’re admittedly attracted to each other, what else is there?” Draco asked, closing the gap between him and Harry and snaking his arms around the other boy’s waist.

Harry stared at him incredulously and then finally shugged his indignation. “Fine. We’re dating. Are you happy now?” he demanded, a subtle smile pulling at the edge of his mouth.

“Yes,” Draco said with a nod. “Very.”

“Well I’m not,” Lara scoffed. “Harry, I want you to leave him. Send him back to his parents.”

“What?” both boys shouted in unison.

“You’ve already proven that he can’t stay here without you dating him and I don’t want you dating my ex,” Lara replied.

Draco clung tighter, willing Harry to tell her to back off, but knowing that he wouldn’t. “Maybe he doesn’t want you dating his best friend,” Draco countered and Harry scowled at him.

“Stop making it worse,” Harry hissed in his ear. Lara however blanched and nodded.

“Fine, you’re right, Harry. Maybe we should just calm down and think about things for a couple days,” she said softly.

Draco could feel Harry relax in his arms at her words and his grin was infectious. “Thank you, Lara,” he said and his cousin nodded curtly and left.

After a few minutes of silence, Draco rounded on Harry. “So did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” Harry asked innocently.

Draco rolled his eyes. “Did you mean what you said, that we’re dating?”

Harry leaned forward and placed a delicate kiss on the corner of Draco’s mouth. “Yes, I meant it.”

Draco pressed against him and pushed him toward the bed. “Does that mean what I think it means?” he asked with a seductive wink.

Harry’s eyelids fluttered at the sound of Draco’s voice and he didn’t resist as Draco lowered him gently to the mattress. They kissed gently at first, but as their hands roamed across each other’s bodies, pulling at clothing and grazing against bare flesh, their lips became more urgent.

Draco looked down hungrily at Harry’s bare muscled chest and abdomen. It was lightly tanned and honed to perfection. He guessed that Harry had let his Quidditch training lapse since leaving Hogwarts to become a war hero but it didn’t show.

His eyes widened at the thought and a slow smile crept across his face. “Harry, I remember Quidditch.”

Harry beamed up at him. “Really? Just now?”

Draco nodded. “I remember every lesson and every game.”

“How?” Harry asked curiously, tracing slow velvety patterns across Draco’s jean clad legs.

A faint blush colored Draco’s cheeks. “I assumed it was what made your body so damn sexy.”

“I can’t remember the last time I played Quidditch. No, these are from Auror training,” he said, poking at his abdomen and chuckling. “Grueling stuff, Auror training.”

Draco dropped down to trace his tongue along the lines of Harry’s torso, looking up every now and again to see Harry’s eyes flicker closed and his lips part in a soft moan. “Is that why you stopped? Too hard,” Draco asked after tracing every line he could see.

“No,” Harry replied with a pout, both from the accusation and the loss of contact.

“Then why?” Draco asked, genuinely curious. He wanted to know things about Harry, his innermost thoughts and secrets, things he would never even tell Weasley and Granger.

Harry sighed and looked away. “They wanted a mascot. Someone to show the wizarding world that the Ministry was good and right and just, and who better to do that then the boy who killed Voldemort?”

“Who indeed?” Draco replied. “What’s so wrong with that?”

Harry glowered at him, but softened his face immediately. “Sorry, I forget that your memory is less than it’s best at the moment.” He sighed and sunk heavily into the mattress, Draco’s weight on his legs a deep comfort.

“Well all through school they slandered me, telling the Prophet that I was a crazy attention seeking child, but then when they realized I was right their stance changed and suddenly they wanted me at their side. ‘The Ministry’ against Voldemort, when really it was just me against Voldemort. I learned early on that the Ministry was corrupt and mostly wrong and terribly unjust at a very early age,” Harry said, staring up at him, his eyes sparkling with an emotion Draco couldn’t name.

“They offered me the Department Head position right out of training and I knew that if I stayed, I would be nothing but a figurehead for the rest of my life, and my being there, my name attached to the Ministry’s decisions, would make it easier for them to get away with even more corruption,” Harry finished with a shrug.

“So you quit?” Draco asked.

Harry blushed slightly. “I left.”

Draco’s eyes widened. “You just turned tail and hid from them? Harry they can’t touch you, not without inciting another war. No one would stand for it.”

“I know, but it’s just easier this way,” Harry replied with another shrug.

“Easier for who?” Draco asked. Yet again, Harry’s true nature came forth in that he would rather live in hiding then to cause anyone, even the Ministry, discomfort.

“For everyone,” Harry replied.

Draco pressed the length of his body against Harry’s and kissed him deeply; trying to distract him from the serious conversation he had started. He hadn’t meant for things to get so glum, and even though Harry returned the kiss, he could tell the raven-haired boy’s heart wasn’t in it in the same.

He rolled over to Harry’s side and kicked his leg over to cover both of Harry’s. Harry smiled and snuggled into him, pressing tender kisses into Draco’s cheek. He could stay like that for hours, just holding Harry in his arms and kissing his sweet mouth.

“I think we got distracted,” Harry whispered against his cheek.

Draco chuckled and nodded. “I think we did. I think we should pick it back up tomorrow, what do you say?” Draco added with a wink.

“It’s a date,” Harry chuckled and sank deeper into Draco’s arms.

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Authors Note: hehehehe. This chapter makes me giggle. If you don't review, I might just bring Lara back to create more havoc!