Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

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No One Must Hear
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Remus stared up at the nearly full moon, high above the trees of the Forbidden Forest. He wondered if Romulus could see the waxing moon from Azkaban Prison, or whether he was confined deep within the building. Sometimes, when he first woke in the morning, Remus forgot where he was, forgot that his brother and protector had been taken from him. Then he woke fully… and remembered.

“He’ll be alright,” Firenze said quietly. “He’ll be back before you know it. Six years isn’t that long.”

“I’ll be nineteen,” Remus whispered. “If they don’t arrest me too.”

“They won’t.”

“You don’t know that. Rom didn’t think they’d catch him either.”

“Yes, he did.”

Remus shot Firenze a sharp glare. “What do you mean by that?”

“Romulus knew it was only a matter of time before the Ministry tracked him down. He’s always known. Why do you think he’s been pushing you to learn all the healing charms and useful herbs?”

“It wasn’t because he thought he’d get caught,” Remus argued. “Not that the charms will be much good now; I’ve not got a wand to use.”

“Not yet,” Firenze pointed out.

“Not ever.”

“So, you’re just going to give up?” Firenze snapped. “You think that’s what Romulus would want you to do?”

“I thought you said a jailbreak would be pointless?” Remus sulked.

“And it would be. No one’s ever escaped from Azkaban before. It’s not located in the middle of the North Sea without good reason.”

“I can’t bear to think of him all alone out there,” Remus whispered.

“He’ll be back before you know it.”

“But he won’t be the same,” Remus cried. “The dementors do things to people in there. They take their happy memories away. What if he forgets me?”

“He won’t.”

“But if he really loves me, then he’ll forget about me because his memories of me are happy.”

“He worries about you,” Firenze said quietly. “His worries won’t be happy memories, he’ll keep them.”

“But then he’ll be worrying about me all the time in Azkaban. It’ll make it worse for him if he’s got to worry about me.”

Firenze didn’t have a reply to that, and Remus turned back to look at the moon.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius cringed at the sound of raised voices coming from his father’s study. Regulus was sitting beside him on the staircase, wincing visibly as their mother’s voice reached new volumes of rage.

“It’s a perfectly respectable school!” Walburga yelled.

“It’s in Australia,” Orion countered.

“Far enough away that people here won’t know of our shame.”

“But the expense! Even if we sent him by muggle means the cost would be prohibitive.”

“Not if he stays for the holidays.”

“He can’t stay there forever.”

“He can come back during the summer,” Walburga compromised.

“I’ll think about it,” Orion replied.

Sirius turned to look at his brother and saw his expression of despair at the result of the argument.

“Guess I’m going to Australia,” he muttered quietly.

“At least you’ll be able to come back for the summer holidays.”

“Who says I want to?” Regulus snapped, and he jumped to his feet and ran back up the stairs towards his room.

Sirius sighed as he followed after his brother. “Maybe it won’t be so bad,” he said as he stretched out on Regulus’s bed and flicked through the brochure for Sheila Shuttleworth’s School for Squibs.

“It’s just a place to dump all us useless squibs together,” Regulus complained.

“It could be worse.”

“How?” Regulus laughed bitterly.

“They could be sending you to a muggle school here in London.”

“That’d be better than being taught things like History of Magic, knowing that I’ll never be able to do any magic myself.”

“There are other subjects too,” Sirius pointed out. “Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, Muggle Studies…”

“They make you do Muggle Studies, because most squibs end up living as muggles.”

“But you get to do Care of Magical Creatures right away,” Sirius said as he pointed at a page showing some of the animals the students would be studying. “At Hogwarts, we only get to take that starting in your third year. I’m going to be taking it next year; starting from the beginning, just like you.”

“But I won’t be studying any dangerous creatures. They only let squibs near the really tame ones.”

“Well, it’s not like they let Hogwarts students near stuff like manticores and dragons.”

“I’d still rather go to Hogwarts.”

Sirius couldn’t say anything in response to that. Of course Regulus wanted to go to Hogwarts…what eleven year old boy from a wizarding family wouldn’t want to go to the famous school? Then he remembered another boy who had been denied the chance to go to Hogwarts. “You’re not the only one who wants to go to Hogwarts, but can’t,” he offered quietly.

“I’m not?” Regulus asked. “Do you know another squib?”

“Not exactly,” Sirius said. “Just a kid in Hogsmeade who can’t go to Hogwarts.”

“Why not?”

Sirius hesitated, knowing that he was on the verge of saying too much. “Not all wizard children get to go to Hogswarts,” he finally said.

Regulus didn’t look convinced, and Sirius couldn’t meet his gaze.

A small gulf had appeared between the two brothers when the word squib had first been brought up in relation to Regulus. They’d tried to ignore it, putting aside the uncomfortable idea that there was another squib in the family. They’d both seen the scorch marks on the tapestry downstairs, and although the family rarely spoke of those whose names had been expunged from the family tree, both boys knew that their great-uncle Marius had been a squib.

“I don’t want to be blasted off the tapestry,” Regulus whispered.

“You won’t be,” Sirius assured him, though he didn’t feel as confident as he pretended. “I thought they’d blast me off for being in Gryffindor, but they didn’t.”

“That’s different. You’re not a squib.” He spat the last word as though it were a vile curse that should never have been uttered. Sirius knew that in the house of Black the word squib was worse than any curse…

-o-xXx-o-

“What’s that?” Remus asked weakly, pushing away the foul smelling concoction that Firenze was trying to press into his hands.

“A herbal remedy,” Firenze replied. “I know it isn’t as good as your brother’s potions, but it should revive you a little.”

“I don’t want reviving,” muttered Remus, closing his eyes and laying back in the bracken, unheeding of the uncomfortable ground.

“You’ve had a rough night, cub,” Firenze said. “But we have to head back, we can’t stay this deep in the forest for much longer.”

“Don’t see why we had to come this far in anyway,” Remus complained, though he did sit up and accept the small cup from the centaur’s outstretched hands.

“You know why.” Firenze nodded approvingly as Remus scrunched up his nose and drank.

The full moon of the previous night had taken its toll on the young werewolf and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in a comfortable bed and sleep the day away.

He knew why they’d travelled so deep into the forest; it was safer that way, both for himself and the residents of Hogsmeade. With the Ministry still snooping around, there was no possibility of returning to his basement cage and the depths of the forest, kept under control by the powerful, young centaur, had been his only option.

“Come on,” Firenze said, and he stretched out his hand. “I’ll carry you for a while.”

Remus let himself be pulled up onto Firenze’s back and leaned his forehead against the centaur’s shoulder. “You didn’t have to stay with me,” he whispered.

“’Course I did,” Firenze replied seriously, passing Remus his few belongings.

“I could have bit you,” Remus pointed out. “You’re half human.”

“You could have tried,” Firenze laughed. “If you had, I think you’d have found my horse half would have had something to say about it.”

Remus gave a half-hearted chuckle as he searched through the pocket of his robes. His fingers found the cool smooth mirror almost immediately and he pulled it out.

“Sirius?” he called as he tapped the mirror. A few seconds passed before a sleepy looking Sirius appeared in the glass.

“Remus? You’re okay?” Sirius asked around a wide yawn.

“Just tired,” Remus replied with a yawn of his own. “How come you’re tired? You’ve not been running round a forest all night.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Sirius admitted sheepishly. “I…”

Remus frowned as Sirius’s voice trailed off into nothing. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he could see an embarrassed flush on the face of his friend. “You shouldn’t worry about me,” he told him, though he was secretly quite pleased that his friend thought that much of him… especially since he now knew his secret.

“I’ll be back at Hogwarts for the next one,” Sirius said.

“I know,” Remus said with a smile. “I miss you.”

“Me too,” Sirius replied. Remus watched as his friend’s eyes darted away, looking towards something to Sirius’s left. “Someone’s coming,” he whispered, before the mirror went blank once more.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius stood near the barrier that separated platform nine and three quarters from the rest of Kings Cross Station. Platform ten was crowded with dozens of muggles who had just stepped off the delayed train from Stevenage. Consequently, it was rather difficult for Sirius to find the appropriate moment to slip unnoticed through the barrier, much to the annoyance of his mother.

“You could have gone through then,” Walburga chided impatiently.

“The driver of the train over there was looking,” Sirius replied, nodding discreetly towards the newly pulled in train.

“Well, I can’t wait here all day,” Walburga complained. “You’ll just have to go through alone.”

“But I…” Sirius began, but his mother was already stalking back the way they’d come.

“Hey! Black!” a familiar voice called out. “That your mother?”

Sirius turned to Peter who was nodding in the direction of Walburga Black. “Yeah, she’s in a hurry.”

“I’ll bet,” James snickered at the side of Peter. “Doesn’t want to face the rest of the purebloods, not now one of her precious sons is a squib.”

“How did you know that?” asked Sirius, more than slightly irritated at the attitude of the two boys who he’d actually started to consider his friends.

“Can’t keep stuff like that a secret,” James laughed. “So, it’s true then?”

“So, what if it is?” Sirius snapped as he steered his trolley nearer to the barrier.

“What’s your problem?” Peter asked.

“Yeah,” James added. “I thought we’d got that broomstick removed from your arse last year.”

Sirius glared at James one last time before he pushed his way through the barrier, not bothering to check whether any muggles were watching.

Any fleeting thoughts of escaping the questioning of the other Gryffindors disappeared when they appeared alongside him.

“So, where’s your mother?” Sirius asked James. “Too distraught to come say goodbye to her little angel?”

James looked like he was about to make an equally scathing remark, but thought better of it. “I don’t care if your brother’s a squib,” he said instead.

Sirius shrugged, not in the mood to talk about Regulus. Especially since most of the summer had been spent listening to arguments about Regulus’s schooling. “We’d better get on the train; it’ll be pulling out soon.”

The other boys nodded and followed Sirius to the train.

The train was crowded, and there were few seats spare.

“Come on, in here!” James said as he pushed open a door.

“But…” Sirius stalled, having already passed the compartment, and seen for himself the solitary student already seated in there.

“It’s only Rita,” Peter pointed out, following James inside.

“Only Rita.” Sirius groaned and braced himself for a long journey.

“Sirius!” Rita exclaimed. “How are you? Have you had a nice summer? It was so nice to see you at the Ministry. Why haven’t you written?”

Sirius busied himself with stowing away his luggage, trying to ignore the smirks on the faces of the other two boys.

“So, what were you doing at the Ministry?” James asked casually, once they were all seated.

“It was so exciting,” Rita enthused. “I was reporting on the Lupin trial; you did hear about it, didn’t you? It’s been all over the Daily Prophet! I’m doing a story for the school newsletter.”

“You got to see the Lupin trial?” James asked Sirius enviously.

“Yeah,” Sirius admitted, turning to look out of the window as the train started to move. James and Peter jumped up from their seats and rushed into the corridor, eager to wave to their parents. Sirius remained in his seat and was surprised to see that Rita hadn’t moved either. “You’re not going to wave to your parents.”

“My dad had to leave me here,” Rita explained with a shrug. “He heard a rumour about a shop that keeps materialising in different places and wanted to check it out.”

“Least we won’t lose our seats,” Sirius reasoned with a small smile. Rita smiled back before turning to her notebook once more.

“It’s so frustrating,” she muttered.

“What is?”

“It keeps removing Remus’s name from the parchment. The spell to stop his name being reported must have been really strong.”

“It was performed by the most powerful wizards in the Wizengamot,” Sirius pointed out, even as his stomach turned at the idea of Rita being able to talk about Remus at all. Even if she couldn’t put his name in the report, she could still tell the whole school about him.

“You know he’s our age?” Rita commented. “He’d probably be at Hogwarts with us, if he hadn’t been bitten.”

“What’s that?” James asked as he came back inside the compartment and threw himself into the seat beside Rita, nosily scanning the top page of her notebook.

“Romulus Lupin’s brother,” Rita replied, clearly in her element at being the centre of attention, knowing something that the others didn’t.

“He’s the one that’s still on the run, right?”

“You’ve been following the trial?” Rita sounded rather surprised, although slightly impressed too.

“My dad’s in the Wizengamot,” James clarified. “He said that the younger brother was still on the run, but he wouldn’t say much else. Wouldn’t even tell me his name.”

“That’s because there’s a reporting restriction spell on the case,” Sirius pointed out.

“Doesn’t mean he couldn’t tell me all about it,” James sulked.

“Maybe he thought you couldn’t be trusted not to tell everyone else about it, too?” Sirius suggested.

“Then he’d be wrong,” James snapped, before turning to Rita. “So, what was his name?”

“Remus,” Rita informed him knowingly.

Sirius felt his stomach start to somersault and he couldn’t bring himself to meet the questioning gazes of the other two boys. He was only thankful that they didn’t say anything about the supposed coincidence of the name in front of Rita.

Sirius knew that he couldn’t put off the questions forever, and wasn’t surprised when James leaned across the table during the start of term feast and whispered, “It is him, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sirius lied.

“Sure you don’t,” James replied. “Come on, you can tell me…we’re mates now, aren’t we?”

“It’s a common name, just because…”

“Fine!” James cut him off. “Don’t tell me! I don’t care; just stop lying.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to say that he wasn’t lying, but James had already turned to Peter to ask him whether he thought he should try out for the Quidditch team this term.

The feast continued with the usual gasps of surprises at the delicious delicacies spread out in front of them. Sirius was just reaching for his second treacle tart when he felt the table lurching under his hand. Several other Gryffindors seemed to have noticed the movement and were edging away as best they could. Then suddenly the table gave a violent jerk, sending puddings and drinks flying.

“SIRIUS BLACK!” a voice yelled out above the uproar of the students.

Sirius felt his face turning a violent shade of red as he turned to face the furious glare of Albus Dumbledore.

“I will not tolerate this sort of disruption,” Dumbledore continued in a quieter, but still stern tone. “You will report to my office immediately.”

Sirius didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t done anything, but it seemed as though he was going to be blamed for the incident anyway. He’d always heard that Dumbledore was fair, and he’d certainly never seen or heard anything that would insinuate otherwise. So, why was he being singled out as the one to blame?

Sirius placed the treacle tart back on his plate and stood up. He could feel the eyes of the entire school on him as he walked out of the hall. He wished that he knew who was responsible for the prank, he’d hex them into the middle of next week.

-o-xXx-o-

“Ah, there you are,” Dumbledore said with a smile as Sirius stepped into the office. “I had one of the house elves send up a treacle tart for you.”

“Sir?” Sirius questioned, more confused than ever.

“You were about to eat a treacle tart, weren’t you?” Dumbledore asked politely as he passed Sirius the plate.

“I don’t understand,” Sirius said quietly. “I thought I was in trouble?”

“What for?” Dumbledore asked. “You’ve not been here long enough to have crept out to Hogsmeade this year.”

“But the table…”

“Oh, that was me,” Dumbledore admitted with a chuckle. “Not as effective as when I did that particular spell in my fourth year, but back then I didn’t really think about anyone being scalded by hot custard and sent the table flying without warning. I thought a gentle nudging to give everyone a warning would be better.”

“You?” Sirius whispered.

Dumbledore nodded and his smile turned rather sheepish. “I needed a way to speak with you, one that wouldn’t raise the suspicions of our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.”

Sirius frowned in confusion.

“Professor Spion works for the Ministry of Magic,” Dumbledore explained. “He’s here to teach, but also to search for Remus. It seems the Ministry believe I’m hiding Remus Lupin from them.”

Dumbledore chuckled slightly at the idea and several of the former head teachers looked equally amused.

“You said you could help him,” Sirius pointed out. “Back at the Wizengamot, you said…”

“And I intend to,” Dumbledore assured him. “But with Professor Spion watching my movements…well, it makes things harder. That’s why I needed to speak with you.”

Sirius nodded thoughtfully, the treacle tart forgotten.

“You’ll continue to take extra lessons with Madam Pomfrey,” Dumbledore said. “I’m also going to suggest to Professor Slughorn that he pushes you in Potions; he tells me you have a natural talent in the subject.”

“Are you giving me permission to go and see Remus?” asked Sirius cautiously.

“Certainly not,” Dumbledore replied with a wink. “The tunnel to The Hog’s Head is being watched at the other end. The Forbidden Forest is still out of bounds, particularly on the night of the full moon…but if you should happen to come across young Remus…”

“The morning after?” Sirius guessed.

Dumbledore nodded, clearly pleased that Sirius was following his train of thought. “You know how to access the school kitchens?” he asked.

“Yes,” Sirius admitted, wondering whether it was against the school rules to sneak into them, even before curfew.

“Good, good.” Dumbledore nodded. “I would recommend stopping off there before you take your morning walks, I think weekly walks wouldn’t arouse too much suspicion. Madam Pomfrey will be providing you with an emergency healer’s kit, make sure it isn’t seen, but have it with you just in case.”

“Remus can’t live in the forest forever,” Sirius whispered. “You said there was a new law that could help him.”

“It isn’t in force yet,” Dumbledore explained sadly. “It may never be. I’m doing what I can to push it through, but there are many at the Ministry who oppose the idea of a law that treats werewolves like the human beings they are for most of their lives.”

“Like Professor Spion?”

“Exactly. If he suspects you know Remus, he’ll try to befriend you in order to find him.”

“I won’t tell him anything,” Sirius assured the headmaster.

“Very good,” Dumbledore replied. “Now you should join your friends in Gryffindor Tower. I imagine you have a lot to talk about after the summer holidays.”

“They were asking about Remus,” Sirius blurted. “Rita told them his name and they know it’s the same Remus they saw in first year.”

“Oh dear,” Dumbledore sighed. “I feared this might happen as soon as I heard the reports from Professor McGonagall about a duo of pranksters, one of whom wasn’t a student.”

“It’s my fault,” Sirius whispered. “I accidentally told James Remus’s name; it was last year, but he remembered it.”

“His full name?”

Sirius shook his head. “Just his first.”

“And they’re sure it’s the same person?”

“I think so.” Sirius took a deep breath before he asked another question that had been bothering him. “You’re not really going to let Rita print that story, are you?”

“It won’t contain Remus’s name,” Dumbledore said. “But you’re right to be concerned. Rita will no doubt mention his lycanthropy, which could give rise to awkward questions from your friends.”

“Maybe they’ll understand?”

“They don’t know Remus, not like you do,” Dumbledore pointed out. “Even amongst the most liberal-minded wizards, werewolves are something to fear.”

Sirius hoped that Dumbledore was wrong.

“One more thing, before you go,” Dumbledore said as he opened one of his desk drawers. “Romulus asked me to see that Remus got this. I’m sure I can trust you to pass it onto him when you see him.”

Sirius held out his hand and Dumbledore dropped a heavy ring into his hand. He’d last seen the ring on the right hand of Romulus Lupin; it was the ring that displayed the Lupin family crest.

“He fears he might lose it within Azkaban,” Dumbledore explained. “He asked that Remus keep it safe for him.”

“Do you think he’ll survive?” Sirius whispered, as he continued to look at the ring. “Will he be the same when he comes out?”

“Prison changes everyone,” Dumbledore replied, equally quietly. “Azkaban, even more so than others.”

“You’ve taught him something to help him though?”

“I have.”

“What is it?”

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you,” Dumbledore told him with a sad shake of his head. “It would be too cruel to raise false hopes and…it’s dangerous…very dangerous. If he’s successful, Romulus will tell you himself.”

“But if it’s dangerous, he shouldn’t do it!” Sirius exclaimed. “He should just wait and then come home when he’s released.”

“Maybe he should,” Dumbledore mused. “But Romulus is stubborn, it is a trait of the Lupin family, unfortunately. He doesn’t care how dangerous something is, not when it comes to protecting and caring for his brother.”

“He’d do anything for him,” Sirius replied, recalling Romulus’s words the morning after he’d discovered Remus was a werewolf.

“Precisely,” Dumbledore agreed.