Situational Ethics

Situational Ethics

By Mizzfreestyle

Edited By Missy Padfoot

Disclaimer: I do not own anything HP related. It all belongs to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Inc., Warner Bros., and any other entities involved.

Chapter Fifteen:

"His Condemned Passion"

Harry was at the edge of his seat; his eyes wide and his posture petrified. With the door sealed and the air stiff, Harry felt as if he was going to fall apart, confess his sins and do anything required of him because when Dumbledore gave that stern eye, it was frightening. Combined with Dumbledore's possible knowledge of Harry's pregnancy, which only added to Harry's fear of being discovered, Harry was on the verge of fainting. For if they decided to scan his body, they would stumble upon more than Harry was ever willing to reveal."God no..." Harry's lower lip shivered. He could feel his soul slipping out of his body. Breathe... In and out and in and out... One and two...­

Suddenly, Dumbledore's face softened. Could there still be hope for Harry? Such compassionate eyes, surely they wouldn't coerce him to give up his child.

To Dumbledore, Harry's posture was just like that of a cat backed up into a corner. "Harry, why so tense? I only needed to talk with you for a few minutes. Nothing more."

Harry became the epitome of a deer caught in the headlights.

"Harry, you should never be afraid of me, unless there is real reason for it." Dumbledore paused then adjusted his spectacles. "Have you given me a reason to be angry with you?"

"No, sir." Harry answered quickly with a rash voice.

"Your posture suggests otherwise."

"Sir?"

"Wouldn't you agree?" Dumbledore asked while looking behind Harry. His eyes clearly focused on something else.

"Sir?" Harry turned around, prepared to see someone whose presence was undesirable. He didn't know who would've been the last person he would have wanted to see, but he had a long list.

Instead, from the shadows stepped out a tall, lanky man with a dull dress shirt, a black tie and faded trousers. Once his face came into the light, Harry's feeling of anxiety turned into utter excitement. "Remus!"

Harry got up quickly and threw his arms around the missed werewolf. "Hello, Harry. It's good to see that you're just as lively as ever." Remus rubbed Harry's back while watching Harry smile wholeheartedly.

If they only knew how much Remus' appearance lightened Harry's mood. But then, another thought crossed Harry's mind. Why was Remus summoned?

Harry pulled away, not a trace of his smile was left. He turned to Dumbledore and asked, "Why is Remus here?"

"I'm here because we have urgent business to attend to."

"I don't understand."

"Let us explain," said Dumbledore. "Harry, this Auror program at the Academy is prestigious, and yes, it's superb that you were accepted by the Minister's request, but I don't want you to attend the academy."

"Why not?" Harry sat down, looking rather confused yet relieved all at once.

"The reason is that all the Aurors who come out of that school are only trained to fight against your common criminals, not against a mastermind like Voldemort. Though their training is strict and demanding, they have not faced anything like what the Order has endured." Remus added.

"And that is why, Harry, we want you to decline the Academy's acceptance. We can teach you everything you'll need to know. We can train you physically, mentally and magically."

"And you'll be with people who love you. Not with utter strangers." Remus touched Harry's shoulder and smiled down on him.

"So I would be able to see you, Moody, Tonks, the Weasley's...­ and...."

"Yes, Harry. We'll be there beside you, teaching you everything we know."

"This is brilliant!" Harry exclaimed. I'll be with my friends!

"Yes, but we not agreed upon your training grounds." Remus pointed out. "While Sirius has suggested Grimmauld Place, we obviously know that it isn't going to sustain once you undergo training."

"Hogwarts won't be able to house you either because, like it or not, Death Eater's children are roaming the castle's halls even as we speak."

"The Shrieking Shack is no more enduring than Grimmauld Pace."

"And the Burrow is too crowded." Dumbledore concluded. He then gave Harry an encouraging smile. "But rest assured, we'll find a place."

SEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPE

There were numerous things troubling Harry. Some more deeply than others. One in particular was eating away at him; and while Harry did his best to conceal his distress, each and every time he saw Snape with his wife, he suffered from a great uneasiness in his gut. Snape was pouring his wife a cup of tea at the staff table and they were both engaged so deeply in conversation, that everything else had become trivial to them. Harry was sure that he was insignificant in Snape's thoughts and worries. Just look at them. Harry thought distastefully. He wanted to sneer at them, but his icily calm expression would have to do.

Alas, while his face remained emotionless, his eyes would relentlessly long for Snape.

At some point, Snape looked over the students' heads, eyes settling on Harry's for a good five seconds. Within that time span, Harry saw a conniving old bastard with the edge of his lip curved upwards. I will not have this. Harry finished one last turkey leg before he got up and slipped from the Great Hall quietly. If anyone suspected his displeasure, every newspaper in the Wizarding world would want in.

"Is something wrong with Potter?" Caitlin asked as she watched Harry leave the Great Hall with bewilderedness.

"When is there not something pecking away at him?" Snape placed his hand on Caitlin's lap to call back her attention.

"He hasn't visited in a week. Something must be troubling Potter, and I wish to know why. I can't have him looking like that. Not while the Daily Prophet is bribing our students into coughing up all the juicy news they can attain."

Caitlin stood up and touched her husband's shoulders briefly before she followed after Harry.

Young Harry was sitting on a window ledge facing the walls of Hogwarts when Caitlin came to greet him. His ambiguous countenance turned into a smile and Caitlin wondered if she had made a mistake. Maybe Harry was just frustrated and needed some air. Or maybe he wasn't feeling too good. Whichever it was, Harry didn't look as troubled as she thought. Just calm and quiet. "Hello Harry. I've come to join you if you don't mind."

Why? "You really didn't have to." I wanted Snape. But Harry would not tell Caitlin that her presence was unwanted.

"You haven't been around, Harry. I had thought that something was troubling you. If something's wrong... and if you need to talk to someone other than your friends...."

A small smile breached. "Thank you." There was a hesitant pause and then, "Actually, there is something."

"Yes? Go on." Caitlin responded all to eagerly.

"...I...­It's stupid, and possibly avoidable. Just the usual teenage stuff."

Caitlin's stressed gaze softened and she smiled. "Is that what's been on your mind, Harry? Well, let me hear it."

"There's this person I was with for a while." Harry ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "And, it never really went well, but lately this person hasn't done much more than tease me, lead me on, then push me away. But they don't really push me away. More like push then yank me forwards." Harry did this gesture with his arms, where he reached out far, then brought them back as swiftly as he could. His fist landed on his heart and he sighed. "No more. I want them to stop. Or just..."

"Just what, Harry?"

"Just¡­ just..."

"Yes, just what would you like this person to do?" Snape stepped forwards menacingly from behind the shadows, and his face bared that same, sinister smirk that Harry wanted to wish away.

"Severus?" Caitlin looked back and then looked over at Harry who was biting his lip, trying to hold back the furry he felt surging within. "I'm sorry, Harry. I'll talk with you about this later. Severus won't leave."

Reluctantly, Harry dismissed himself. He pushed himself off the ledge and headed off towards the Gryffindor common room. Harry would not talk again with Caitlin until the end of the day when he managed to sneak into the dungeons and finish what he had been telling her. Caitlin turned out to be very sympathetic towards Harry's distress, but if she knew who this person was, things would become... complicated. She told Harry a few words of advice. To sum it up, she told him to try, but if the person wasn't in to listening, to move on with his life and find someone who'll treat him better and listen to him.

After Harry had left the dungeons, Caitlin returned to her quarters and to Snape. The man was sitting on the couch grading papers but was not so deep into his work that he wouldn't greet her with a small kiss to her cheek. "What did he say?" Snape asked, while exempting the eagerness he felt.

"What? Potter? Severus, dear, I shouldn't really tell you."

"But I am your husband." Snape persisted.

"Yes, I know, but a secret is a secret."

"A secret is one of those things you proclaim to the world then tell them all to keep it hush-hush."

"Hmmm, I guess a little bit of information couldn't hurt." Caitlin plopped down lethargically beside Snape and rested her head on Snape's shoulder. "Young Potter is distraught over some young girl, I believe. Supposedly she knows about his infatuation with her, and from what I've learned, chooses to tease him about it and lure him in only to turn him away later. I gather that this has been going on over and over since it's effecting Potter this much. Such a cruel young lady. I wish he would've told me who she was."

It's for the best that you never know. Snape turned around and kissed Caitlin on her forehead.

However, Caitlin mistook Snape's dismissive gesture. "You know who this callous girl is, don't you?"

"Even if I did, I wouldn't be inclined to say so. Potter's a mature young adult. He has to be able to face reality alone."

Snape stood and walked towards the wall adjacent to the fireplace and, as if he was watching a movie, visions from nearly a year before flashed through his mind. Harry up against the wall, Harry panting and whimpering, Harry declaring his loyalty to Snape, Harry...Harry...­ Harry...­ Harry. Harry opening his eyes and swiftly capturing Snape's dark eyes so that he may embed his heart into them. Snape placed his hand against the wall then leaned his head forwards so that it touched the warm surface. He then breathed softly and closed his eyes. "Severus? Is something troubling you now?"

His face felt fiery and his cheeks guiltily burned. He closed his eyes in shame and turned his face away from the one who did not deserve all of this. But in Snape's heart, he felt a raging passion and an urge that relentlessly beckon Snape to pursuit it. He had once thought that he wouldn't be swept away by his folly, but alas, he can not deny that which clenches his at heart so tenaciously. Snape raised his hand quickly and gripped the folds of his shirt over his beating heart. When was the last time his heart accelerated for someone? When was the last time he felt distraught over the thought of losing someone? Snape could only recall his infatuation for Lily Evans. But even that didn't swathe him with as much heat and leeway as her son does to him now. Snape turned an obscure eye towards his awaiting wife and he asked softly, "Why don't you cut your hair? Maybe dye it a darker colour. I think black would bring out your brilliant green eyes and add contrasting balance to your fine, fair skin."

Along with that, why don't you get a sex change? Snape gestured for Caitlin to approach him.

Caitlin turned to look at her hair in the distant looking-glass. "My hair?" she repeated woefully soft as she went to him. "But, I thought you loved my red curls."

"It was only a suggestion." A harebrained thought passed through his head and yet he did not heed his sense of reason. He opened his arms and accepted her.

He then situated her with her back to the wall so that he could compare her height to Harry's. They were awfully close, just mere inches away. He would just have to dip a little lower for Caitlin's lips. No... it's Harry. Snape forced himself to believe. But then the lingering scent of lipstick overpowered Snape restless imagination and reminded him against his wish that those lips belonged to Caitlin and not Harry. Nevertheless, he kissed her and then was awakened once again by the foreign feeling of her lips. He would have to try a little harder to find what he sought. He pressed harder against her lips, hoping that her mouth would be as sweet as his dear Harry's. No. She tasted of bittersweet wine. Out of frustration, he gripped her hips harder and Caitlin gasped.

"Shh..." Harry...­ The rudest reminder had yet to be recognized. Her body was soft, curvy, and not at all like Harry's. Snape could not focus without picturing Harry's body with breasts and that desired hour-glass figure. Snape pulled away from Caitlin's body and looked at her through his emerald eyes. Those were the closest things he had that resembled a part of Harry. The eyes, through which one can see the other's soul. A link that was easily broken, but difficult to behold. What has become of me? "Severus?" Caitlin asked softly.

"Caitlin...," He was about ready to give up. Caitlin could not be his Harry. Drained from wishful thinking, he leaned down to rest his forehead in the crock of her neck. That was then that he breathed in her scent. What was he thinking? Why did he bother? They were two completely different people.

Suddenly, Snape moved forwards and pressed himself against Caitlin. She gasped briefly before he took her lips in his again. If his thought remained insistent, then maybe, just maybe, the person in his mind could become the person in his arms.

HARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER

For the next few days, Caitlin had been in a dandy mood. She skipped around the classroom with her curls bouncing much like a child and her deep green eyes glowing like jewels. "Professor, you look happy today." some girls giggled with Caitlin and did these funny hand gestures that Harry couldn't understand. But whatever. Harry turned around and watched Snape as he stood beside Malfoy and watched him add ingredients. Quickly, Harry sighed. He always felt encased during this class. There was so much that he needed to talk about with Snape but the man hardly gave him the attention he deserved unless Harry enticed a girl before his eyes. Much like with April. Then Harry thought about the most cliche' of ideas and decided why he hadn't put it into use. If Snape really felt something for him, then he would be inclined to ensnare his attention if Harry showed interest in someone else. If Harry had learned anything about Snape during the year they were together, it was that he refused to share.

However, there was one flaw Harry didn't take into account until he was facing April later that day. As friends, they could be wonderful, but girls weren't into that pretend to be my lover so my beloved will notice me thing. Girl wouldn't have any of that. Harry understood that clearly. Toying with someone to win another's affection wasn't the right thing to do. If that person wasn't willing to recognize you without some help, then is that person really worth it? Harry thought for a second, then noticed some students walking around. He leaned in and whispered to April. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said the other day." He got real close. Close enough so that his breath could tickle her ears.

She giggled and some students turned their eyes towards Harry and April.

"If you don't mind, I'll like to start off as friends. But, don't go around telling people what I told you. I don't need anymore publicity."

April giggled and placed her hand over her mouth to contain herself and then she nodded before skipping off.

Just behind the students, Caitlin stood looking kind of bewildered but happy all at once. She would have to tell Snape that she found out exactly who Harry was talking about.

That night when she got back to the quarters, she plopped down next to Snape and said, "Severus, you don't have to hide it anymore. I know everything."

Snape's eyes stretched to their maximum width and he set his glass of wine down. He felt like his heart was going to beat its way out of his chest. And even still, Snape dared to repeat, possibly in hopes that she was only playing with him. "Everything?"

"You look surprised. Did you think I wasn't going to find out?"

Snape wasn't careful for nothing. "I suppose I was hoping..."

"Nonsense, Severus. I know who is Harry's love interest and-"

"Bloody hell," Snape stood up and was about to open his mouth to say something when Caitlin stopped him.

"It's that April girl, isn't it?"

Every little thought that was running rampant in Snape's mind fled and his heart's pace began to ease itself. Calm and collected. "April? Ms. Samala?"

"Why of course! Just today I saw them in the halls, snickering and giggling and being hopeless lovers."

Harry only snickers when he's conspiring. "Well, yes. I suppose they are the couple of the year."

"She's a lucky girl, you know, Severus."

The comment sparked Snape's interest. Did Caitlin know something else? "Enlighten me."

"He'll take care of her. And he is the bachelor of the century. I'm sure every girl wants to be with him."

Not just that. I want... No! Snape shook his head. "I need rest." Snape dismissed himself, heading towards their room to clear his thoughts. How dare anyone get near Harry? And how dare these fruitless passions persist. Snape figured he was doomed to forever desire what he shouldn't have.

From across Hogwarts, Harry was retreating to his bed while the other students were away. He laid still on his bed for a few seconds, gazing up at the canopy and listening carefully to the sounds that surrounded him. Nothing sounded like active humans, so Harry lifted his shirt and carefully removed the band that sheltered his baby from the world. His stomach popped out and he smiled as he ran his hand over the lump and felt his skin which was forming a texture different from that around his body. Just a few more months and he¡¯ll be able to feel his baby move around. Harry wanted to giggle. He was unbelievably excited. His first baby. If anyone knew, he couldn't fathom what they would say to him. He was sure the world would think he was insane to have gone through with this, but the bump beneath his skin seemed so promising. If he died in the war, he had an heir to his fortunes. His blood wouldn't be lost. And if Severus Snape joined the heaping bodies upon the ground, well his blood too would be carried on. Two heroes joined in union in this one child. That what motivated Harry every day. Even if Snape was an arse.

Harry ran his hands over his bump over and over again. He didn't think he would ever have children after this. He didn't consider marrying anyone, but if he did, then it'd most likely be a girl and she of course would bare the spawns.

SEVERUSNAPESEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPE

"You wished to see me, headmaster? Oh...." They were not alone. Harry looked around the room curiously while five figures, dressed in dark cloaks and concealing hoods, hovered several inches from the ground. Their sickly white and bony hands hung limp at their sides. Their hoods fluttered, suggesting their breathing patterns. They didn't utter a sound other than the rumble of their deep breathing.

Beside them stood the eager Minister, rubbing his hands together with excitement and a bright grin. "Ah, Mr. Potter, how are you today?"

"Well," Harry responded while looking to Dumbledore for answers. Why were these creatures here with the Minister? Were they from the Academy? If so, what should Harry do? Decline on the very spot?

"Mr. Potter, or Harry? You don't mind if I call you Harry, do you? Of course not. That'd be just silly." The Minister stepped forwards, ignoring Harry's blatant distasteful look, and raised his hand to the five grim looking figures. "Well Harry, before you stand the five greatest mentors of King Author's Academy. I wanted to introduce you to them ahead of time, so you had an idea of what to expect come August-"

"August?!"

"Yes, Harry. Your training starts in August, no exceptions. Now, as I was saying-"

"I will not start my training in August. We made that clear."

The Minister sighed and turned to look at Harry as a man would look down at a stubborn child. "Do not interrupt me, Harry."

Dumbledore looked over his moon shaped spectacles and chuckled lightly.

"If you do not start your training in August, you won't graduate early enough."

"Then I guess I won't be graduating. Or attending the Academy for that matter."

"What?! Not attend? Are you out of your mind, you insolent boy? Where else could you possibly acquire training as promising if you don't attend the Academy?"

"Perhaps from those who have fought against Voldemort," Dumbledore suggested before he sipped his tea then continued to chuckle.

Then, one of the five Mentors, the one to the right of the lot, turned to look at Harry from beneath his hood. He then shook his head and said in a low, ominous voice, "We are wasting our time here, gentlemen."

The five mentors chuckled themselves, then one by one, they began to vanish.

"No!" Cried the Minister, "Wait! Please, you don't understand! Harry's just confused, of course he'll attend the Academy! Won't you, Harry? You were just kidding when you said you wouldn't right? Oh please, don't leave!"

"There is no place for him at our school," the final Mentor whispered before he faded away.

Fudge paced around and around, hoping that some part of the Mentors was left behind for him to cling to then bring forward. But they had completely vanished and left not even a lint ball. The Minister then turned around and clenched his fists at his side. "Harry, what is the meaning of this? Not attend the Academy, are you bloody out of your mind?!"

"No sir. I am doing the right thing. I have friends who can teach me more than your Academy could ever."

"Friends who are more capable then my mentors? Really now, Harry, I thought you were smarter than this. Apparently I was wrong. I offered to help, but since you'd rather go into battle unprepared, I guess that's your choice if you want to die. But I had better not hear a single person blame me. I offered you a chance, now you'll just have to rely of these friends of yours."

Harry watched as the Minister grabbed his coat and headed towards the door. "Good day then. Just you wait, Harry. When August rolls around, you'll be begging at my doorstep, asking me to help you, but no. I won't. You'll just have to face this on your own. You had your chance!" He opened the door, then slammed it shut.

Harry winced and Dumbledore popped a few lemon drops into his mouth. "Sir?"

"I think that went rather well."

HARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER

"No... stop." Harry tried to push April away. What she was trying to make him feel he only felt when one other person did it. Her advances did little more than make him feel uneasy. "Please..."

Nevertheless, April continued her advances, for she was unaware of Harry's predilection for the male body. But then again, Harry wasn't putting up much of a fight, and he did lure her towards a desolated area. Most people were at Hogsmeade or out in the Quidditch pitch. Not on the bridge. "Just once?" April asked.

"Just once? You promise? Just once?"

"Yeah. I do."

Harry's arms fell to his sides. He then closed his eyes and prayed that no one will find them. No one.

Of course, they didn't see the person who was about to board the bridge. Caitlin smiled to herself then skipped off. Oh, I have to tell Severus. She thought as she headed towards the inner halls of Hogwarts. She knew Snape would have to pass by in order to get to his meeting. So she leaned up against the walls and waited for only three minutes before she saw her husband passing through with a folder in arm. She tried to maintain a serious face, but once he passed a look at her, she started to giggle. "Caitlin?"

"You won't ever guess what I just saw over at the bridge."

"Care to tell me?"

"It's Potter. It would appear that he's found himself a woman."

That content look on Snape's face was gone. "Is that so?"

"Mmm yes. Someone should stop them befere he does something he will regret. It's getting rather steamy over yonder if you know what I mean," Caitlin winked and then walked off.

Snape, on the other hand, careered off in the opposite direction of his conference.

The sight to behold infuriated Snape. Harry and April were still there. Harry's arms were steady, adjacent to his body. April's, however, were latched onto Harry's face while he coerced him into kissing her back. To Snape, April was stealing kisses from his young man. Worse, he couldn't even begin to fathom why he felt such jealously in the first place. Or even why he would allow himself to be conquered but such licentious desires. He was married. And Harry was his student.

Snape groaned then advanced.

Harry had adjusted himself against her. Trying to keep a little space between them so there was room for his imagination. If he could convince himself that April was someone else, then he wouldn't grimace and turn away. If he could convince himself that April's lips were that of another man, then maybe he could kiss back; give way to that tongue that was trying to coax his into a slow dance. Then somewhere between his thoughts, he picked up a light scent of a mix of potions. It wasn't horrible, but it was familiar. Horribly familiar. Severus? Harry slid back his eyelids by a fraction then, before April realized Harry was stepping back, he thrust her away and was trying to find some way of explaining himself to the one person he didn't want to see. "I...­ I...."

"Twenty points from Ravenclaw and Gryffindor for immodest behaviour. Now, get out of my sight."

Once April came back from her daze, she nodded before taking a hold of Harry's hand to lead him away. Harry had barely turned before he felt Snape's hand upon his shoulder, stopping him from taking a step further. "A word, Potter, if you please."

Reluctantly, Harry shook off April and they stood in silence for a few anxious moments before April disappeared behind the corner. Harry looked up finally but silenced himself before he spoke. What took you so long?

"Already back on your feet and feeling lonely, Potter?"

"We weren't doing anything that you and I haven't already done."

"Rather ambiguous, do you not you think? What have we not done, Harry?"

"We were just kissing. That's all. And I really wasn't enjoying it so..."

"And why are you confiding your misfortunes in me? Trying to reassure me?" Harry's eyes widened in realization and then Snape continued, "Yes. You looked sick. It did not meet your expectations, did it?"

"Bugger off! I know what I prefer and-"

"She was not it." Snape came up close and pushed Harry against the bridge. Ironically, in the exact same place April was lean up against just moments before. "Can she not give it to you the way I did?"

"I...." No. This could not start up again.

"I spoiled you, did I not? I had you so wrapped up that you lost yourself several times." The folder in Snape's hand dropped to the side so that one hand could press against the wood and the other could hold Harry's chin. "Look at me. I cannot sleep at night thinking that she's with you."

Snape's statement stumped Harry and unconsciously the boy's guard dropped. Snape then wanted to remind Harry what it was like to be with a man. It only took a rough initiative for the memories to come pouring back. Harry grasped a hold of Snape's body because he was afraid he was going to stumble and fall to his knees. Snape's kisses were like fires against his ice cold body. Once they mingled, Harry felt tingly and his glasses were fogged up to the point that they were utterly useless. Harry 'let them fall to the side then he slid his arms around Snape;s neck to hold the man close to his body.

Quickly after and they shared frenzied kisses. Nothing sweet and tender like the one he shared with April. Snape preferred for it to be overwhelming and fervent. He liked the whimpers and mutters Harry uttered when he was being subjugated. And in turn, Harry thrived on the sensations he felt when Snape's tongue was ravishing his mouth and savouring him. "Never forget." Snape whispered and then Harry felt him pulling at his tie and collar. But he didn't question the man so long as he continued to kiss him like this.

Then Snape pulled away and looked carefully at Harry's reddened lips. "You prefer it when I am with you."

Harry rolled his head back and then winced when he felt Snape's tongue pressing hard against that one spot at the base of his neck. Quickly after and Harry was moaning and clawing into Snape's back. Snape's teeth were working their magic and Harry's eyes were shut tight. The entire school could have been watching them and neither of them would've noticed.

"Do not let Samala probe around too much," Snape whispered as he pulled away from Harry's neck. "Or she will demand answers." Snape then pressed his finger to the spot he had just tended to and it felt wet, cold, and abandoned. A mark that hurt much like the one he left on Harry's heart when he walked away from Snape that one afternoon. It was then that Harry thought: I shouldn't have done this. What was I thinking?


A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review and I'll update as soon as I can.