Shades of Truth

Shades of Truth

Chapter 15

*****

Hermione locked herself in her study when she got home, even though Ron was off at a game and shouldn’t be back for at least an hour or so, just because she was used to caution in her line of work.

Part of her just wanted to trust Harry without watching the memories. But the researcher in her needed to know every detail of the situation that she had the ability to learn. That part was strongly in control as she poured the first memory into the Pensieve and raised it so that it was a projection she could watch from outside.

She saw right away that it was Dumbledore’s office, and even saw the deceased headmaster scribbling on some parchment when a knock sounded at his door.

“Come in,” he intoned, and then stood in surprise as a beautiful redhead walked in with a man that Hermione immediately recognized as a much younger Snape. He was probably in his early twenties, as was the strikingly familiar woman with him. “This is unexpected. Lily, I thought you and James were in hiding with Harry.” Hermione gasped as it because immediately clear who the woman was and why she looked so familiar.

“We are, sir, but I felt you might be more likely to hear Severus out if I were here to vouch for him.” She indicated the man at her side. He was staring at her in a way that Hermione almost immediately comprehended. Snape loved this woman. Or, he had.

“Professor, before I say anything further, I want you to know the situation completely.” And with that, he pulled back the sleeve on his left arm, revealing what Hermione immediately recognized as the Dark Mark etched on his pale skin. “I have sworn myself to the Dark Lord, but I wish to forsake him in favor of your Order.”

“Continue.” Dumbledore sounded neutral at the news of this proposal.

“You probably recall interviewing a woman for the Divination post quite recently. She went into a trance and recited a prophecy about the birth of someone who could challenge the Dark Lord. The innkeeper caught someone eavesdropping who reported their findings back to the Dark Lord, advising him of what they had heard, and necessitating the concealment of the two possible children who could have been the subject of that prophecy.”

“You were the eavesdropper.” Dumbledore sat at his desk again, smoothing his beard.

“You knew?” Snape quirked an eyebrow.

“Why else would you bring it up?” Dumbledore smiled slightly.

“Indeed.” Snape ran a hand through his lank hair before continuing. “Sir, I have seen the error of my ways, and I regret the risk I have placed…these families under. I wish to serve you, and to that end, I have a proposal. I shall pretend to be a servant still to the Dark Lord, but in truth, I shall be your spy. I will apply for a post at Hogwarts, and if you feel you can trust me, you will post me as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. I will tell the Dark Lord that I am now ideally placed to spy for him, but will only feed him false information.”

“I have a few questions.” Dumbledore spoke finally, “Firstly, Voldemort is a very skilled Legilimens. How do you plan to keep your true intentions secret?”

“I am a very skillful Occlumens. I challenge you to read me, sir.” There was a long silence before Dumbledore moved to his next question.

“Secondly, how can I trust you to serve me, when you block your mind so easily?” he steepled his fingers together.

“I intend to swear an Unbreakable Vow to that effect, with Lily as our Bonder.” Snape answered readily, and it was clear he had thought this through in advance.

“Excellent,” Dumbledore smiled. “You are aware that to break such a vow causes death?”

“Yes.”

“And you are still willing to go forward with it?”

“Yes.”

“And finally, I have a question for Lily.” Dumbledore turned his attention to the woman. “How is the baby?”

“Very well, thank you.” She flushed and stepped forward. Hermione watched in shock as Snape swore to obey every direct command Dumbledore gave him. Just after the ceremony ended, so did the memory, and Hermione took time to digest this. Dumbledore had trusted Snape so implicitly because of that vow. However, she had the feeling he may have gone along with the idea without even that to secure his trust. Clearly, Dumbledore must have seen how Snape felt about Lily. So why…

Shaking her head, Hermione decided to look over the second memory. After putting the first one back, she emptied the second one and cast a projection.

This time, Dumbledore and Snape looked like how she recalled them in Hogwarts. In fact, unless she was much mistaken, one of Dumbledore’s hands looked dead and shriveled. So it had to be her sixth year. He would die this year. Harry, Ron, and she would leave Hogwarts for good. As would Draco. And Snape. Things were coming to a head.

“Severus, may I speak in metaphors?” Dumbledore asked as they strolled about the grounds.

“I doubt I could stop you.” Was the surly reply.

“Sadly accurate.” He laughed, eyes twinkling, “When a student first learns a spell, the spellbook serves a helpful purpose, correct?”

“To instruct and illustrate.” Snape agreed.

“However, every student must learn to move beyond the book. Firstly, it would be silly to carry so many books into battle. Secondly, you’d be defeated quickly if you relied on the books rather than learning the spells yourself.” He continued.

“A valid point.” Snape nodded sharply.

“And Harry has reached that point. I will soon hamper him. If I stay, he will weaken. If I leave, his abilities will surpass my own, and those of his adversary.” Dumbledore nodded swiftly, “It is time to test your vow.”

“What?” Snape froze, mid-stride.

“Severus, do you think it odd that I agreed to a spell that nearly robs one of their agency; and have since made no notable use of it? I have others direct you, or I imply directions which you have faithfully followed without having the force of an Unbreakable Vow behind your complicity.” Dumbledore paused, gazing over the grounds as he waited for Snape to regain the use of his feet.

“I have not thought of it so much, though your discretion with such power has, of course, impressed in me the notable difference between yourself and my former master.” Snape replied, moving to stride alongside the headmaster again.

“However, I accepted the Vow.” Dumbledore smiled sadly, “How much better does that make me, I wonder?”

“Without intention of using it, it shows your strength of character.” Snape replied swiftly. “That day, I wanted to be sure you would trust me, but you have insured that I will always trust you.”

“But I do intend to use it.” Dumbledore answered. “I have a command for you, Severus, but I hope you can think of it more as a favor amongst friends.”

“What do you wish me to do?” Snape was clearly a bit nervous as he prompted the ancient man.

“I have reached an end.” Dumbledore explained. “My strength is not what it was, and I lack a certain…functionality,” here, he raised his wasted hand to draw attention to it. “I’ve had a full life, and I don’t worry about being forgotten. I know that I have made my contribution to the world, and I feel fulfilled in my many associations, and I have no desire to live forever. I know that I shall soon die, though not of natural causes, and I wish for you to be the one to do it, when the time comes.”

“Why would you want that?” Snape’s voice was oddly weakened.

“Because, I would rather you kill me than have you die needlessly.” Dumbledore shrugged. “I’ll die either way. I know what you’ve sworn to do for Mr. Malfoy.”

“How could you know that?” Snape scowled, obviously agitated.

“It was an easy enough conclusion. I’m aware of his orders, and his half-hearted attempts to carry them out. I can assume what is at stake, and it was only a short step from there to infer what his mother would do to assist him in his endeavor.” Dumbledore turned to Snape and patted his shoulder warmly, “You have an endearing weakness for chivalry, Severus.”

“I never…I was hoping you could shelter Draco in the way you sheltered me. For this, and to be sure you continue to lead the Order, I was ready to die. Happy to die.” Snape explained. “Do not order me to do this, I beg you.”

“You’ve already sworn it with another. I just want you to know that I hope you succeed. I know Mr. Malfoy does not have it in him to kill, but I have an undeniable feeling that he will be an asset to us, and to Harry. I do not bring you here to order you to kill me. I trust you to do that when the time comes. I order you to defend Draco, whatever the cost, for as long as that remains possible. I feel sure that he will prove himself greater than you or I could guess. Until he finds his courage, you must protect him.”

“I would have done that anyway.” Snape told him. “He is dear to me as a son.”

“I know.” Dumbledore smiled. “But there may come a day when your courage fails, and my command keeps you on the path we share now. For his sake, and for Harry’s, I secure you to that road.”

“I think you cannot give up meddling, and that is the full reason.” Snape grumbled.

“You’re the only one who can protect him now. His father is too cold, his mother too gentle.” Dumbledore explained. “So you must live for his sake.”

“This is idiocy!” Snape snapped, “You’d be a better guardian than I would. Besides that, if I do kill you, I’ll be as useful as Sirius was to young Potter. A wanted man on the run.”

“I want you to advise Harry when I am gone and he needs it. This is better.” Dumbledore insisted.

“There are many better suited to that! You know how we grate on each other. He won’t listen to a word I say.” Snape argued.

“Perhaps if you could let go of your schoolboy grudges, Severus, and try to see Harry, not as his father’s son, but as a boy not so different from yourself,” Dumbledore insisted, “he could teach you as much as you could teach him.”

“I can never do that. He is too much like James; it irritates me just to see him.” Snape refused the suggestion.

“Then attempt to remember Lily, and for her sake, look out for her son the way you wished to look out for her.” Dumbledore’s voice rose slightly. “Can you hate the son of the woman you loved?”

“He is a reminder that she loved the man I hated!” Snape whirled about angrily. “What’s to love about a snarky brat whose very existence reminds me of my own regrets, my failures?”

“He is all of Lily that is left.” Dumbledore replied, his tone calm once more. “I know she would feel at ease knowing you are assisting him through the tough times that lie ahead for him.”

“I have no way of helping him against the Dark Lord.” Snape kicked at a stone sullenly.

“I meant for you to help him after the war.” Dumbledore replied. “So, Severus, you must survive.”

“I still find this ridiculous.” He answered after a long silence.

“And I can only ask you to give me what I have given you.” Dumbledore started turning toward the castle. “Trust.”

----------

Hermione was brewing a cup of tea and thinking over the memories she had witnessed when Harry came to her door, distraught and worried. She invited him in and sat him down, quickly brewing another cup of tea before he said anything.

“He’s gone.” Harry finally spoke the words as though he feared the meaning they carried.

“What?” Hermione’s brow furrowed.

“Snape.” He explained, “He left while I was out.”

“Well,” she heaved a deep sigh, “I wish I could say I’m surprised, but I can’t imagine he’s a fan of goodbyes. I am disappointed, though. I only just had a chance to watch the memories.”

“He just left.” Harry seemed to be stuck on that detail.

“Are you worried…you know, that he’ll be caught?” Hermione asked.

“Well…a bit, but he knows how to handle himself, how to be stealthy. I’m sure he’ll be fine.” He took a sip of the tea. “I guess…I knew it was coming, but now…I needed his help with Draco. And he’s gone.”

“We can take care of that without him, Harry. I know we can.” Hermione assured him. There was a long silence as they sipped at their tea before Hermione reached over, setting her hand lightly on Harry’s arm. “It’s okay if you miss him.”

He looked as though he was struggling to say something, and she leaned forward, squeezing his arm encouragingly.

“I’m home!” Ron’s bright exclamation ended their discussion. They looked at each other in continued silence, their conversation on hold for now. “Hey, I stopped by the store, and they had these—“

“Welcome home,” she spoke when he stopped at the threshold of the dining room.

“Harry!” he exclaimed happily, “I didn’t know you were coming over! I would have left work early.”

“No, I just felt like visiting. Is that alright?” He asked, not rising from his seat.

“Of course it is!” Ron set his groceries on the counter and sat down next to him. “I haven’t seen you for a while. Are you still doing that investigation?”

“Er, yeah,” Harry coughed awkwardly. He felt horrible pretending all the time around Ron, but he didn’t feel like there was anything he could say that would make the situation better or easier.

“Let me know when you have some time off, we could go to a game together or something.” Ron suggested, getting up again to begin dinner preparations. “Are you going to stay for dinner?” he asked as he moved into the kitchen, his voice carrying back to Harry and Hermione from there. She turned to him, a pleading look on her face.

“Sure, if it’s not any trouble.” He answered loud enough for Ron to hear and gave Hermione a quizzical look at the same time.

“Not at all! I’m making up some fish and chips. They had halibut on sale, and I thought it’d be good.” He called, poking his head back into the dining room for a moment.

“Sounds great.” Hermione gave him a tight smile and he returned to the kitchen swiftly. She turned to Harry and shook her head swiftly. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, “It’s been rough lately…between us.”

“I saw…you guys seem kinda distant.” Harry felt distinctly out of his depth, but he could see a certain distance in their interactions, or lack thereof. “The wedding thing still?”

“I’m afraid to say anything, like if I bring it up, we’ll have a fight, but there’s all this tension…” she shook her head.

“Did you…um, did you want me to talk to him?” Harry offered hesitantly.

“What would you say?” Hermione asked, her tone low and desperate.

“I don’t really know.” He admitted, “What do you think I should say?”

“If I knew that, we wouldn’t be having this problem. If Ginny were here, she’d…sorry, Harry.” She apologized, realizing too late the sensitivity of that subject.

“I’m fine.” Harry was surprised to realize he was telling the truth. “I heard you spoke to Draco. What did he suggest?”

“To marry someone else.” Hermione rolled her eyes. “He also suggested that I could leave him just to let him know I meant business. I’m sorry, Harry, but if he considers those to be valid strategies, you are in for it.”

“Well, that’s part of the package when you decide to date a Slytherin.” Harry shrugged with a soft smile, then gave a slight frown. “Or, I mean, see them…romantically. Not that we are now, after today. But you know—“

“Yes, Harry, yes.” She giggled at him, “You’re babbling.”

“I know.” He smiled apologetically, “I’m just worried. About Snape, and Draco, and us, and you, and Ron, and that last memory, the trial—“

“Still babbling.” She cut him off again.

“Yeah, sorry,” he took a deep drink of tea and slumped in his chair. “I think we’re failing.”

“At what?” she quirked a brow.

“Life.” They both laughed then, and lapsed into silence, listening to Ron in the kitchen, a cacophony of clangs and sizzles.

“I have an idea.” Hermione offered finally. “What if I try sorting out Draco, and you try sorting out Ron, and we can see if that helps at al.”

“I don’t know if that’ll work.” Harry pointed out, “You got me into trouble to start off with.”

“Well, it was just an idea.” Hermione sulked, which Harry noticed she should really practice more, since she wasn’t nearly as good at it as Draco. Or as cute. Perhaps he had a tiny bias on that last count, though.

“Fine, if you really think it will help.” Harry gave in, mostly so he wouldn’t have to be subjected to her sub-par pouting, which only made him think of Draco, which only depressed him. “I still have no idea what to say to Ron, though.”

“You’ll think of something.” Hermione sounded rather confident, but Harry had his doubts about this scheme. However, he also couldn’t think of exactly how he could mend things with Draco. At least with Hermione’s help, he’d have less chance of having his heart broken.

“Besides,” Hermione went on after a while, “If I can’t fix things right away, I can at least get him to work on retrieving that last death.”

*****

To be Continued…