The New Me

Disclaimer: Don't own it, I just have a copy of each of the books.

Warnings: Gonna have some flashbacks in this chapter, so yeah...

Important notice!
We're going to see a sample of Vernon Dursley's opinions about gay people in this chapter, and let me just say - I do NOT have those opinions myself! So please don't leave an angry review saying how much I suck for thinking gay people are freaks - because I don't feel that way! That's all.

A/N: Hi! I know...it's taken me a ridicolously long time to get this chapter up... But in my defence, the workmen building the round about outside my house managed to dig right through our telephone cable, like 3 times, and we didn't have any internet.
But still, I apologise for the long wait, and I'll try to be quicker with the next one, oki?
And this is more of a filler chapter, the good stuff will probably start the in the next one. Without further ado - chapter 15!

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Chapter 15

Pandemonium broke out at the Snake Table as several people choked on what they were eating, or simply sprayed their neighbour with pumpkin juice. Every single person at the Slytherin table turned towards Hermione where she sat, looking curiously at Harry.

“W-what?!” Harry stared at her with shock and a hint at panic in his eyes.

“I asked if you were gay. It’s not like you’ve had any crushes except Cho Chang in the entire time that I’ve known you, so I’m wondering if perhaps you’re gay?” Harry’s face paled dramatically and he pushed his way up from the table, clamouring to get away.

“Harry? Are you okay?” Hermione asked worriedly as she too stood up.

“I-I’m not a faggot!” He hissed before bolting out of the Great Hall, leaving a stunned Hermione, a shocked Blaise, a worried Pansy and an absolutely miserable Draco behind.
At the Head table Professor Snape got up and quickly followed his traumatized student.

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‘Filthy…faggot…I’ll have none of your kind in my house, boy…none of those queers deserve to live…I’ll beat the queer out of you, boy…’

This is what was running through Harry’s mind as he bolted through the school, making his way towards the Room of Requirement, about the safest place he had at the school right now. Shouting in his mind for the Castle to open up the Room and not let anyone in, he dashed through the door and let it slam shut behind him. He sank to the floor in a small huddle, sobs wracking his muscular frame as the memories continued to assault his mind.

*flashback*

He sat curled up on the floor of his room, his uncle standing over him imposingly, a riding crop in his fat hands.

“I’ll beat the queer out of you, boy. I’ll not tolerate a sodomite under my roof, I always suspected that you enjoyed your punishments a little too much. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t screw up as much as you do.” Vernon smirked. Harry started shaking, just waiting for the riding crop to fall over his shoulders and face.

The reason for this punishment was that he had been looking at pictures in one of Dudley’s magazines when he was cleaning his room. Of course, Vernon and Petunia had no idea whatsoever that the magazine belonged to their overweight son, they thought that Harry had brought that filth into their respectable home.

It was of course a magazine with homosexual material.

“Did you really think that we wouldn’t find out? And to think you tried to blame this on Dudders by keeping your filth in his room? I’ll teach you respect, boy.” And that’s when the first blow struck him. The riding crop made welts appear on his shoulders and arms, as he wasn’t allowed to wear any other clothes than a pair of Dudley’s old jeans. Tears were silently pouring down his cheeks, but he knew better than to make any sound, as it only seemed to make his uncle hit him more. He had learned that at an early age.

It seemed like the punishment would never end, and in a small hidden part of his mind, his soul was screaming for someone to make it stop. He could not believe that he wasn’t able to defend himself towards his uncle, after all, he was almost 16 years old and had been training to defeat Voldemort for more than a year.

Suddenly a blow landed on the back of his head, and everything went black.

*end flashback*

Snapping out of the memory, Harry started rocking back and forth where he sat on the floor, fresh tears making their way down his face.

‘True Heir, are you alright? The Potions Professor is outside looking for you. He is trying to blast his way through, what should I do?’

‘Let him in, Dearest, I do not want him to hurt you for my sake.’ Sighing heavily he turned towards where the door had appeared, waiting for Snape to make his way inside.
The door burst open to reveal the very worried Potions Master. He quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind him, making it disappear again.

“Mr Potter, are you alright? What made you run out of the Great Hall like that? Was it Miss Granger’s question?”

“Yeah. It brought back memories I would rather forget.”

“Would you like to talk about it? My promise is still valid, you know.”

“I know, I can feel the spell working. It was the summer before last, after fifth year. I was cleaning my cousin’s room and found a magazine under his bed that held…well, it was a magazine with homosexual content. Suffice to say, being gay is not something that would be accepted in the Dursley home. Naturally, my uncle walked in at that moment, saw me standing there with the magazine, and assumed it was mine and that he had been harbouring a filthy faggot in his house for 15 years without knowing. He beat me with a riding crop after that, all the while telling me how disgusting it is to be anything other than ‘normal’. Which is something I’ve had beaten in me since I can remember. Vernon’s sentiment was, if he couldn’t beat the magic out of me, he was damned well going to keep me from being unnatural in any other way. So when Mione asked me if I was gay…”

“All your bad memories came rushing back.”

“Yeah. I just had to get out of there, before I got stuck in another flashback. I get them from time to time. Usually there’s a trigger.”

“Would you like to come and talk to me about this every evening after dinner? It would be good for you to try and process all of your experiences.”

“You know what? I think I would like to do that. Maybe it’s time I faced my fears instead of just trying to suppress them.”

“Then we will meet in my office every evening at 8 o’clock. Are you ready to go back down to the common room? I am sure that your friends are worried about you.” Snape rose to his feet, having sat down next to Harry earlier.

“I’ll be down in a bit. I’m going to work out for a while first, but you can tell them I’m okay if you see them.”

“Hm. More Death Eaters, Mr Potter? I must say I was surprised when I walked in on you last time. What are you training for?”

“That I can’t tell you yet. The time will come when we will have to defend ourselves again. I am merely making sure that I haven’t lost my touch, so to speak.”

“Just be careful, I don’t very much fancy having to come back and scrape you off the floor.”

“Don’t worry, she won’t let anything serious happen to me as long as she can help it.”

“She?” Snape raised an eyebrow at him as he blushed and looked away at his unintentional slip of the tongue.

“Never mind. I’ll see you tomorrow night, Professor.” Turning his back to the Professor, he clearly showed that the conversation was over on his part. Snape, not wanting to push him further, left and made his way down to the Slytherin common room, prepared to try and pick up the pieces of his Godson.

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After Harry rushed out of the Great Hall, Draco felt completely numb.

‘I was right. It’s doomed, he thinks it’s disgusting to be gay. How could I have hoped that he would feel the same for me someday? I should have gotten a clue when he didn’t want me to touch him.’

“Draco? Are you alright?” Pansy asked him timidly, a gentle hand placed on his shoulder. He drew a shaky breath before turning towards her and smiling slightly.

“I’m okay. I should have guessed shouldn’t I? Nothing could ever come of this, and the sooner I realise that, the sooner I can move on with my life. And as you said – come graduation day, I’ll never see him again. Maybe that’s for the best.”

“What are you talking about, Draco? You never used to give up this easily before. Fight for him, if you think he’s worth it! Don’t just give up. If you do that, then obviously, you can’t have been very sincere in your affection.” Pansy raised her voice, gaining the attention of the entire Hall. Hermione cleared her throat, catching their attention.

“Maybe we should take this discussion down in the common room, or in Draco’s room? The Great Hall doesn’t seem the best of places to talk about this.”

“You’re right. Let’s go. Should someone go after Harry?” Draco asked worriedly.

“Professor Snape went after him. I think he might be the best person for Harry to talk to if he’s angry or upset, Snape’s never backed down from anything.” Hermione answered as they left and made their way down to Draco’s room.

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When Snape arrived down in the Slytherin common room nearly an hour after rushing after Harry, he had expected to find his Godson in a fit of despair, as he had always been prone to dramatics when things didn’t go his way. Of course Snape knew that Draco had feelings for Potter, he had seen it even in their first year, that Draco had been heartbroken over Harry’s refusal. Of course, Draco had not realised this himself, instead choosing to take his feelings out in hatred and making Potter’s life as difficult as possible.

Ah, the foolishness of youth.

As he could not see any of the teenagers in the common room, he made his way up to the Head Boy’s room, hoping to find them there. As he knocked on the door, the voices inside silenced and Pansy opened the door.

“Professor Snape! What are you doing here?”

“I came to see if my Godson had drowned himself in misery, as is his custom when things do not go his way.”

“That’s a rather unkind thing to say, Sev.” Draco said from where he was sitting on his bed.

“But none the less, it is true.” Snape sat down in one of the green chairs facing the bed, so he could look Draco in the eye.

“I take it that Mr Potter’s answer was not to your satisfaction?”

“No, it wasn’t, but I shouldn’t have been surprised that he felt that way.”

“Ah, but there are several things about Mr Potter that you do not know, Draco. It may have something to do with the way he reacted to Miss Granger’s rather blunt question.”

“Is Harry alright, Professor? Did you manage to find him?”

“Yes, and he tells me he is fine. He will be down in about an hour, I would guess. He said he had some workout to do, foolish boy.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s training against Death Eaters, the fool. One would think he has a death wish, although that in itself would not surprise me at all.”

“Why would Harry have a death wish, Sev?” Draco asked.

“I can not tell you. I made a magically binding promise never to tell a soul, living or dead, anything that he told me about it. If he wants you to know, he will tell you in his own time.” Snape got up from the chair, having discovered that everything was in fact, alright with his Godson.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have several essays to grade. Good day.” And with that he left.

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Walking back towards the dungeons after his exhausting work out, Harry didn’t notice Remus standing on the other side of the corner at first. So he got quite the surprise when he turned the corner and almost ran into him.

“Moony! I didn’t see you there.”

“That’s quite alright, Harry. I was wondering if you would mind coming with me to my office, I would like to discuss your Animagus form a bit more with you, if you have the time?”

“Um, sure. What is it you want to know?”

“Well, I was wondering how it is that you knew you would have that form? It is very unusual, you see. It takes an immense amount of magical power to be able to, since the Winged Fenris is considered to be almost pure magic.”

“I can’t really tell you, I just knew that that’s the form I would have. Just like Hermione was pretty sure she would have the form of a unicorn.”

“I see. Well, how is the incantation coming along? Are you having any trouble with it that I could help you with? I’d be happy to help in any way I can.”

“It’s fine, I’m not having any trouble with it. Are we really going to attempt the transformation the next class?”

“Yes, I think that you’re all ready for it, so we’re going to give it a go.”

“Cool, I’ll be looking forward to it.”

“Hm, yes. I must admit to being quite excited about it also. You have all worked very hard this semester, and it will be nice to see your work paying off. I had thoughts on weather we should have the class in the Room of Requirement, since your form at least, will be quite large.”

“That might be a good idea, it’s not like we could be outside, now is it?”

“No, that would not be wise.” Remus chuckled.

“Well, I kind of have to go now, so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Harry said, fatigue catching up with him once again. Remus frowned a bit at him, before smiling gently.

“Of course, cub. I’ll see you tomorrow, have a good night.”

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When Harry arrived to class the next morning, the others were already there, waiting for Remus to show up. Since Harry couldn’t see a note on the door about their new classroom, and he knew that they were supposed to be in the Room today, he got the others attention.

“Hey guys, I think we’re supposed to be in the Room of Requirement today, Remus said something about it last night when I ran into him. Maybe we should go up there now, we can leave a note on the door for him or something.”

“Okay, come on guys, let’s get going, we’ve already waited here for ten minutes and he still hasn’t showed up.” Pansy said before turning and following Harry.

He led the way up on the seventh floor, the others following rather quietly, which was quite unusual. Usually they talked and laughed with each other during Animagus class, House rivalry forgotten for a while, but everyone was nervous about today’s class.

“Ah, I’m glad to see that you managed to find your way to our classroom for today. I probably should have put a note on the door, but I knew that Harry would tell you where we would be. Now, since we are attempting the transformation today, we have been given permission to use the entire day, with a few brakes for lunch and such. Now, is everyone clear on how the transformation should be performed?” As his classmates seemed to be considering Remus’ question, Harry asked the Castle to provide them with an area large enough that all of their Animagus forms would fit at the same time. The door appeared in the wall, surprising those of the students who had not been to the Room before (basically just Pansy and Blaise).

“Good, good. Let’s go inside, everybody and then we can get started.” On a line the students made their way into what seemed to be a room roughly the size of the Great Hall, but without the tables and the enchanted ceiling.

Standing in a semi-circle around Remus, the students prepared themselves to start attempting their transformations.

“Okay class, I would like you to attempt the transformation one at a time, it will be easier for me to help you should anything go wrong. Who would like to begin?” Remus looked expectantly at his students, but no one volunteered to go first. Finally, Neville raised his hand.

“I-I’ll go first, Professor.”

“Excellent, Neville! Well, go on then. If you would give Neville some space, he can start. Now, Neville, you are quite certain that you know the incantation?”

“Yes, Professor.” Neville squeaked before gripping his wand tightly and closing his eyes to concentrate better.

“When ever you’re ready, Neville.” Remus said kindly. He had always liked the soft-spoken boy, reminding him so much about himself at that age.

“Animagus Reformae!” After speaking the incantation, Neville’s image began blurring, as it was prone to doing the first few times one performed the change. Neville frowned and seemed to be concentrating even harder than before, as he miraculously managed to complete the transformation to his Animagus form. In front of them a young male lion lay panting in exertion.

“Well done, Neville! Very well done, not everybody manages to complete their transformation on their first try. Just rest for a while before you try to move around or change back. Who’s next?”

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When it was time for lunch, Parvati and Pansy had also managed their transformations and there was now a lion, a russet coloured cat and a Peregrine falcon in the room.

“Very well done everybody. What do you say to taking a break for lunch before the rest of you try to transform?” Remus asked. Receiving nods from all of his students, he quickly called some of the house elves and ordered a lunch of spaghetti Bolognese and a tossed green salad.

“Why don’t you guys change back, and we’ll eat our lunch together.”

There was a blur around the three students again before they appeared in their human forms again. Sitting down on the floor, the students each smiled at their friends before digging in on the food.

After they all finished their meal, Remus stood up again and turned towards Blaise, Hermione, Draco and Harry before asking who wanted to go first.

“I’ll try.” Blaise said as he stood up, taking his wand from his robe pocket.

“Go ahead when you’re ready, Mr Zabini.” Remus said.

“Animagus Reformae!” Blurring appeared around his body, his magic struggling through his first transformation. After roughly five minutes of trying, he finally succeeded to change into his Animagus form. Flapping his wings tiredly, the golden eagle hopped around the floor a bit.

“Well done, Mr Zabini! Just try and hold your form for a while, but wait before trying to fly. As I told Miss Parkinson, it takes practice to learn how to fly properly. Hermione, would you like to go next?”

“Okay, Remus. Animagus Reformae!” Unlike the other students, Hermione had an almost seamless transformation. She turned into a beautiful unicorn, her coat moonlight pale, her forget-me-not eyes calmer than they had been in a long while.

“Mione, you’re beautiful.” Harry said breathlessly as he stroked her soft neck. Hermione nuzzled his face in return, before throwing Draco a pointed look over Harry’s shoulder.

“Mr Malfoy, are you prepared to begin?”

“Of course, Professor.” Draco raised his wand and calmly said the incantation, changing instantly into his miniature silver dragon form, spreading his wings and giving a loud roar of pride at his success.

“Wow, Draco! Your animal is really cool!” Pansy squeaked loudly. The others nodded their agreement at her statement as Draco preened proudly.

“Only you left, Harry. Are you ready to begin?” Remus asked as they all turned to look at Harry, where he stood next to Hermione. Silently he dropped his hand from her back and backed away to gain some space. Without picking up his wand or even speaking the incantation, he changed in about two seconds flat.

They all gasped at Harry’s animagus form, surprised at the sheer size and beauty of it. They could see now that the image that they had seen when they had taken the potion, really hadn’t done the animal justice.

Harry stood up and shook his wings, standing almost as tall as Draco’s dragon form at the shoulder.

“I am most impressed, Harry. That is the first time I have seen anyone transform so quickly their first time.” Remus said, awe present in his voice.

“Thank you, Moony. That means a lot to me.” Harry answered.

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A/N2: There you have it! Please leave a review and tell me what you think! And, also, who would you like to see Hermione end up with? Should she even have a new relationship after Ron? Tell me what you think!
Until next time!
//LoveGD