Dear Lily *COMPLETE*

WARNING: This chapter contains character death.

Dear Lily

After that shocking announcement I, of course, did a thorough search of my house and its surrounding environs, but there was no Fenrir. So, of course I went back up to Hermione's bedroom where she was still adamant that he was indeed here, I had a difficult time to convince her otherwise. She was too frightened to be left on her own, so I occupied a chair in the corner that my mother used to sit on and I on her lap as she was reading me The Chronicles of Narnia - where as I said before I cheered at the downfall of the evil witch!

When I had arranged the seat to my satisfaction she looked at me tearfully.

"I'm sorry, Severus, you must think I am a coward," she said in a small voice.

"What is it with you Gryffindors?” I asked exasperated. “It's perfectly normal to break down every now and then you know. You're not Super girl, Hermione, you are a human being. And I am surprised you are still alive with all what you have been through!"

"I swear he was here, I heard his voice in my head! He was calling me, he was ordering me to go back to him, and then he said that when I had come back he would do what he should have done in the first place."

I started at that, I had forgotten that Fenrir knew telepathy and that was how he managed to control his pack, and one of the reasons that he picked on children because they were easier to control, as they were not yet strong enough to fight back.

I sighed as I looked at Hermione, her brown eyes wide and her complexion pale, sitting on the chair wasn't going to be enough, I had to sit closer to her. Also the telepathy presented a problem to me, of course it was different to what Harry went through but it would still help. I got out of the seat, and then sat on the bed, and placed my arm around her shoulder. She leaned over and snuggled into my embrace.

"Can you sing Severus?" she asked.

"No I can't," I replied. "But I'll try what would you like me to sing?"

"Anything!"

The only thing that I could think of was Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. I started singing it and she looked up at me and kissed me on the nose. I kissed her nose back. She returned it with a brush on my lips. I tipped her chin up like before and kissed her softly and gently.

“Severus?” She asked.

“Hmm,” I replied brushing my lips on her cheeks.

“Don’t stop,” she said. I picked her body up and kissed her thoroughly. She put her hand on my chest and sat a little way from me. She gulped but then she brushed the nightgown down her shoulder I kissed the revealed skin, she moaned slightly. She picked my hand up and placed it on her breast.

“No,” I said. “Hermione, we can’t!”

Her eyes flashed hurt, and pain.

“Fine then,” she snapped. I winced.

“Don’t get me wrong, Hermione,” I explained. “Nothing would please me more than to make mad passionate love to you. In fact your very name sometimes causes my body to react, and at some times it is highly inappropriate.” She giggled. I tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear. “It’s just that you need to rest, and well, making love to me certainly would not rest you.”

“It might,” she sighed.

I smiled and hugged her tighter to me so that she could rest easily. She sighed contentedly against my chest and then went to sleep. When I knew she was asleep I felt safe to go to sleep myself.

I awoke in the morning in my parents bed with Hermione still snuggled up to me, she looked calm and serene and beautiful, I caught a reflection of us in the mirror and decided to get up gently and carefully so she didn't have to face me first thing in the morning. It obviously was not gentle enough.

She murmured and stirred and then she awoke.

"Good morning," she said blinking her eyes to get some sleep out of them. She got up in a sitting position hugged her knees to her chin, and then squared her shoulders as she looked at me. "Look, I am really sorry for last night!"

"Don't be stupid, Hermione," I said. "You are a beautiful, brave girl and -"

"And what?" she asked.

"Nothing!"

And I love you! That is what I wanted to say.

"So, what are we going to do today?"

"Get dressed and go back to Grimmauld Place only through the use of Floo Powder this time, we can't risk detection."

She nodded and got out of bed, she then walked up to the wardrobe pushing me out of the way first. She rifled through them like before and picked out a few garments and transfigured one of them into a bag, she then grabbed a few more and chucked them into the bag.

She then forcefully evicted me out of the room so that she could get dressed. I decided I had to buy some more robes. I thought it would be nice to take Hermione with me; I couldn't wear the same purple robes all the time. A nice burgundy red I thought or maroon. A few minutes later she came out wearing a lovely light blue robe that happened to be my mothers favourite.

"You are lovely," I said.

"Thank you," she replied. "And purple really suits you much better than that black."

I walked up to her and put a hand on the small of her back and looked deeply into her eyes, I felt some electricity between us. And she obviously did as well as she blushed and averted her gaze. I stepped up close to her and kissed her warmly and hungrily, our tongues danced together beautifully.

"Grimmauld Place," she said huskily. She then coughed to get her voice back to normal.

"Grimmauld Place," I agreed. I walked away from her careful not to touch her, as I was afraid of what it might do to either of us. I needed to talk to someone about this, and fast! I wasn't sure whom I could talk to. I mean everyone in the Order fallen in love with people they were supposed to and there was me - always falling for the wrong girl - not bad, evil girls, no they generally were always good, kind girls who only liked me because they felt sorry for me and that was it. I could never tell Hermione how I felt about her. She had enough problems with Fenrir; she wouldn't like another evil, ugly git liking her. I also noticed that I seemed to be attracted to Gryffindorian women to. Just the thought of what could have happened last night made me feel like a dirty old man.

She stepped up to the fire place and bought out the pot of Floo Powder and let me pinch some.

"Ladies first," I offered.

"All right!"

She stepped into the fireplace and confidently said the name of the destination, and then I stepped into it and did the same. I got there and Molly was serving her usual fare for breakfast, she threw me a disapproving look.

"What have I done now?" I asked.

"Chinese take-away is not what Hermione needed last night she needed proper sustenance."

"It was nice," Hermione said as she walked up to me. "He did his best and he was very gentlemanly." She brushed some of the ash of my shoulders and chest. I took her hand.

"Thank you, Hermione," I said stroking her hair. I glanced across the room and saw Weasley Jr throw a disgusted look in my direction. Ginny ran up to Hermione and bought her in a big sisterly hug. Harry came up to me and smiled, he held out his hand and I took it. Hermione was watching this.

"You all right, Severus?" he asked.

"Fine, it is Hermione that I am worried about," I said quietly. "We need to talk!"

"Sure after breakfast we'll go into the Study and talk there, okay."

I nodded. Molly herded us all to the breakfast table and made us eat, it was wonderful. Scrambled eggs, sausages, toast dripping with butter and baked beans done softly. She was serving plum tomatoes as I was sitting on the chair.

She looked at me.

"You need fattening up," she observed. "You're like Harry; skinny as a scarecrow."

Harry and I glanced at each other and smiled shaking our heads. Hermione sat by me.

"So, have you and Harry become friends?" she asked.

I put a fork full of egg and a bit of sausage in my mouth and when I swallowed I answered:

"Yes, I think we have."

She leaned up impulsively and kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm so proud of you!" She exclaimed with tears standing in her eyes.

I said nothing as I looked again in Weasley jrs eyes. Now I have managed to get my grudge out of my system and had eaten humble pie I knew I had to gain Weasley jrs trust, and that seemed an insurmountable task. I watched Hermione pick up a sausage and as she wrapped her mouth around it I shifted in my seat. DOWN BOY! She bit into it slowly, and then she chewed it for a while she looked up and saw the dark, intent look in my eyes, she blushed. Thankfully, no one else noticed.

After that satisfying breakfast Harry and I withdrew to the study.

He sat on the edge of the desk. He folded his arms and looked at me over his glasses. Merlin, was he doing that deliberately? That was Dumbledore's trademark look.

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Hermione needs to be taught Occlumency," I stated bluntly. "Fenrir is using telepathic communication and whilst it was not quite what You-Know-Who did to you in the fifth year it is enough to make her do something she doesn't want to do."

"Like?" he asked.

"Well he can order her about for a start. I wonder have you ever read Dracula?" Harry shook his head. "Well, I have and there is a speech where Dracula tells the heroine Mina, that now she had drunk some of his blood she is now flesh of his flesh, kin of his kin, and then he says that she will come when he calls and she will obey every command. Mina, of course, is horrified and disgusted. Well, the same thing has happened to Hermione. Fenrir uses telepathy to keep the pack under control and that’s the main reason why he targets children, they are not strong enough to fight back!"

Harry rubbed his eyes and then placed a hand on his forehead.

"Poor Hermione," he moaned. "She doesn't deserve that. She's too damn sweet for that!"

"I know, Harry, so do you think you'll be able to trust me to teach her that?"

He began pacing around the room and picked out a book at random and flicked through it and then placed it back on the shelf:

"If she does would she well -"

"Lose her sense of compassion, empathy, and all that makes her the loveliest woman to exist and perhaps the cleverest witch of her age?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.

"I don't know," I replied. "But, remember, Dumbledore knew Occlumency as well as Legilimency. And he was the sweetest man to ever have lived."

I said the last part quietly and guiltily!

Harry walked up to me and placed a hand on the upper of my arm.

"If you think it will help her and not hinder her. But if anything happens to her…"

He need go no further. I knew exactly what he meant.

"I'd kill myself!" I said.

He nodded again and rubbed his eyes.

"Tired," he explained.

"Why?"

"I've been up all night thinking about the Horcruxes. I hope you didn't mix them up that's all!"

I bought out the locket from my other pocket and did a reversal spell on it and it remained the same.

"Good! That's one worry out of my head."

"Why don't you have a nap?"

Harry shook his head.

"Impossible there's just so much to do."

I smiled and ruffled his hair a little, which earned me a typical teenage glare. I laughed and he did to. I then walked out of the room. I wanted to talk about my feelings for Hermione but that might have complicated the Occlumency question and that is complicated enough!

As I wandered out of the study I saw Weasley Jr talking to Hermione, Hermione was trying to stop him from doing something and he was resisting her efforts. She also looked at him angrily. I could tell they were arguing and I didn't have to be within hearing distance to know that I was the subject of their argument.

Weasley Jr then stormed off leaving Hermione slumped against the wall with her head in her hand and she was shaking. I walked up to her and put a hand on her arm to announce my presence.

"Follow him please," she said tearfully.

"Why?"

"He said something about going to Wiltshire to sort something out, he wasn't specific, but I don't want him to go!"

My heart stopped beating, what the bloody hell did that kid think he was doing?

"Okay, I will follow him and make sure he isn't going to do anything stupid."

She hugged me fiercely and then looked up in my eyes.

"You were going to add something earlier on back at your house what was it?"

"Like I said nothing!"

"No, it wasn't, it was something, I am not stupid, Severus. Tell me how you feel about me."

"I better go and see what Weasley is up to," I said. "Before his mother gets an inkling that he's gone!"

I knew I was frustrating her, and knowing Hermione she probably has it all figured out anyway but it's different isn't it. I imagined the repulsed look of disgust in her eyes as I said I loved her. No, I couldn’t follow through with another heartbreak. I steeled my heart for so long, I could not risk it being hurt.

I followed Weasley. This was going to be fun!

************************************************** ***************

Weasley had apparated to Malfoy Manor and I saw his hulking form walk up to the door. He opened it and swearing I followed him. I transformed into Ebonium and slunk in the doorway before it closed. He stopped when he heard voices. They were coming from the main sitting room. He walked over to the area. I froze as my animal senses kicked in and they were tingling all over with evil vibes. I heard HIS voice. You-Know-Who was in there this very moment. I heard a yelp, it was obvious Fenrir was being punished for not managing to secure Hermione properly.

"As for you, Narcissa, I had hoped that the lesson I taught you over the Unbreakable Vow incident would have been enough to make sure you never failed me again now I think that handing me this trinket whilst very pretty is not what I NEED!" He roared the last word.

I heard a whimper and a female crying.

"No, Master, please don't!"

"Avada Kedavra!" he said rather off handedly.

Silence! It truly was the last time Mrs Narcissa Malfoy had failed You-Know-Who! If he was in this mood what would he do to Ronald? There I said his name! Regulas dead, Sirius after that, and now Narcissa. The Black name was not going to survive through this war.

"Master!" it was Bella’s voice.

"Whilst you too were involved with the Unbreakable Vow and were partly responsible for the failure of Miss Granger’s disappearances twice I still need you, Bella! So, I will just have to content myself with a Crucio."

"Thank you, Master, thank you ever so much!"

"Afterwards, you can open the door to an unwanted guest who broke in," he said.

"Of course, Master!"

I noticed Ronald blanche slightly but he waited slouching slightly against the doorframe. After a few yells from Bellatrix she crawled to the door and opened it. Her hair was wild and her expression vague and emotionless.

"It's a Weasel my Lord!" she sneered. Getting back some of her composure. I again quickly slunk in before the door shut.

"How interesting," he said in bored tones. "And what could I possibly do for you muggle lover?" he asked sneeringly.

Ronald looked away from His eyes.

"I want to ask you something," he said looking at the dead frozen body of Mrs Malfoy with a sick expression on his face.

"You are free to ask, Mr Weasley, but it depends on my mood whether I am prepared to give to you. And IF I do give to you, bearing in mind it's a big IF, then I want something in return."

"You will," he said.

"Then ask, Mr Weasley, by the way do your parents know you're here?" he sneered again. I was tempted to scratch his eyes out! At this rate I'd be re-sorted into Gryffindor, perish the thought.

"I want you to leave Hermione Granger alone," he said. "And for this I am prepared to turn Severus Snape to you!"

"Weasel by name," HE said. "Weasel by nature!"

"Snape means nothing to me!" Ronald said.

You stupid, stupid boy!

"And Miss Hermione Granger does I presume?"

"Yes," Ronald said.

HE paced the room methodically and calmly; his black robes sweeping the floor; his silence frightened me.

"You do realise, Mr Weasley, you presume too much to think that YOU could foil my plans for the sweet pretty Mudblood."

Ronald was shaking that did it!

"Right!" he spat bringing out his wand. The wand was expertly knocked out the boy’s hand and rolled at the feet of Bellatrix Lestrange; she picked it up with a strange glint in her dark unforgiving eyes. No remorse for her dead sister just like there was no remorse for her dead cousin!

"You are going to have to be quicker than that child if you think you have even a tiny chance against me!" He bought his wand closer to Ronald’s face and used the tip to bring his chin up and made Ronald look in HIS eyes. "Now, for your impertinent cheek to presume that I, Lord Voldemort, would do a blood traitor ANY favours you will suffer!"

HE swished his robes around him and walked a little further away; HE then turned around and pointed the wand directly at Ronald’s chest.

"Cruci - what the?"

I leapt out in front of Ronald and then looked fiercely with absolute hatred at Him and landed full pelt on You-Know-Who's face; I scratched HIM, and then I transformed into my human self in mid leap. I started the jump as a cat, and finished as a human. I made a quick grab for Ronald’s hand, and ran as I fast I could to the shrubbery where we could both apparate back, but I was stopped in the doorway by a very animal like Bellatrix. Her eyes flashed and she presented me with her claws.

"Want to pway boy hewo Sevwus?" she asked in her mimic baby voice that she was so fond of.

"Bella duck!" Fenrir yelled. She did as she saw something that I didn't. Ronald tried to pull me down, but I was trying to run away; a spell hit me on the head and then I remember nothing!

************************************************** ***************

I awoke in St Mungos. My head pulsating and with a worried Hermione at my side stroking my hand tenderly.

"Ronald?" I asked faintly.

"He's all right though he doesn't deserve it!" Hermione answered peevishly.

"What - what happened?" I mumbled.

"Ronald dragged you back; and we knew the best place for you was here," she said. "The Minister for Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour, wants to arrest you but Harry won't let him."

"I'm sorry, Hermione," I murmured.

"What for?"

"Hey, you're awake!" It was the cheery voice of Tonks. She bought in Remus and he smiled down on me as he held Tonks to him. "We bought you some grapes, if you're going to be in Hospital it might as well be done properly."

"Thank - thank you!" I said yawning half way through.

"The healers all reckon you should have died you had about ten Crucio's sent your way." Hermione said. "But one Healer said that only two actually hit you!"

"Why are you all here?" I asked.

"Because we care about you," Remus said. "You've done some really good things."

"I killed Dumbledore though," I admitted. "By rights I should be in Azkaban."

"Try telling Harry that," Tonks said. "After this he won't hear a bad word said against you it's almost the way Dumbledore was. He's even saying to Ron that he trusts you!"

"Does Ronald trust me?"

"Well, he's sorry for what he did but, he still doesn't like you," Hermione said as she was picking a grape off the wooden stem and gave to me. I opened my mouth as I couldn't move my arms and hands, I could barely move full stop.

"How long have I been here?" I asked.

"About a week," Hermione said. "I've been by your side all that time, the Healers were not too pleased about that but I wanted to do something for you as you have done so much for me!"

I was touched by her underserved loyalty.

That night I couldn't sleep and, although I could barely move, I decided to try to walk around, after all if Tonks could discharge herself when she was still weak surely a walk around the ward would not be a problem.

My wanderings took me to the Janus ward or something like that; I couldn't quite see the sign, as it was dark. There is something eerie about a bedarkened hospital ward, everything is gleaming and sparkling for no one. As I was about to explore further as this was my first stay in St Mungos another man wandered out of the ward. A blonde man in a blue nightgown. Merlin it was Lockhart!

"Come back here, Mr Lockhart!" A stern healer said as she followed him.

"Who is this, Mr Lockhart, you keep on about?" he asked of no one in particular. At other times I would have sneered at this misbegotten idiot but tonight was different.

"Hello, Professor Lockhart," I said as nicely as I could. To think all that Half-Blood Prince business could have been easy, imagine Lockhart telling everyone that he was the Half-Blood Prince and that it was him that invented those spells! I almost laughed at the thought.

"Nice to meet you Professor Lockhart," he said to me. He obviously did not hear the hello. "Do you want my autograph?"

I nodded. The nurse bought him back in the ward and wincing with pain I followed. He then gave me a sheet of paper. It read 'To Professor Lockhart, from ME!' I shook my head and was about to walk out of the room when I heard a faint snoring coming from the other end of the ward. I walked up to the bed and looked at the board, Alice Longbottom, it read. Neville’s mother! There was a box full of empty sweet wrappers and she was dribbling on her pillow.

"Very sad, of course," the same Healer said. "Those empty sweet wrappers she gives to her son. She won't let us throw them away. And there is her husband, both victims of several Crucio's and other such nasty spells. They were Aurors; and very against Dark Magic!"

I did that Lily! That was I; and everyone in the Order care about me! She cares about me! How could she care about me, Lily? How could you? I shouldn't have had a Crucio or two I should have had the Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra? That was it! If no one else was going to kill me I would. I hobbled back to my ward and found my wand sitting on the top of the small chest of draws. I tore out a leaf or two of my book and wrote a goodbye note and folded it in half and wrote, Miss Granger, on the empty side. I grabbed my wand and then I walked out of the ward and into the guest area.

I knelt down with the wand against my head.

Severus

A/N - Ron is an idiot in this one isn't he? I hope not too many of you are freaked out by the idea of Snape and Harry getting along like father and son; I think that they have a lot of potential to be like that together.