Torn - Repost

TITLE: Torn
AUTHOR: Ravenkiss
STATUS/PART: 15/?
EMAIL: Ravenkiss2000@yahoo.com
RATING: NC17
PAIRING: SS/RL, SS/RH
SPOILERS: OOP
WARNINGS: AU, M/M Slash, Rape, Violence, Mpreg
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, no money made.
SUMMARY: Dumbledore visits a sick friend.
AUTHOR\'S NOTES: For those of you that have been asking, \'What happened to Harry?\' Read on...
This story and many others can be found at: http://www.livejournal.com/users/ravenkiss_/
http://borgin.thegoblet.net/disclaimer.php?
BETA: The Goblet and Sylvadin

Part - 15


The entire building was permeated by the harsh odor of disinfectant which, he presumed, was used in a vain attempt to cover up the taint of sickness. Everything in this place reeked of it. The old wizard wished that he had the nerve to use a Bubble Head charm to hold the nauseating smell at bay.


It has been said that smells can be a powerful trigger for memories. The stench brought out many vivid ones out to contend for a place at the forefront of Albus Dumbledore\'s mind. No matter how hard he tried to stave it off, the first was always the death of his mother. At the age of ten he has spent many months watching her slowly wasting away as a cancer took first her lovely voice, her dazzling smile and eventually her life.


The next unwanted image that flashed past his mind\'s eye, was the loss of his beautiful wife Miranda. Selflessly throwing herself into the path of the curse Grindelwald had meant for him. Somehow her valiant spirit managed to hold on for three days as the wasting charm ravaged her already delicate form.


But the pain of his past losses had lessened. Their once debilitating pain had been dulled by the passage of many long years. And even those bitter memories could not destroy the sweet echoes of their love that he carried in his heart. Thoughts of what was lost so long ago did not bring tears to his eyes, or cause his heart to ache as they once had. After he had reached his one-hundredth year, Albus Dumbledore had begun to believe that nothing could affect him.


He had actually begun to accept that time itself had washed away his ability to feel sadness, guilt or regret. But these last few weeks had proved how very wrong he was.


The Headmaster of Hogwarts felt sadness, guilt and regret in abundance as he made his way through the halls of St. Mungo\'s. He strode past the Mediwitches in their crisp white uniforms, who smiled pleasantly but could not quite meet his eyes.


He could feel the sickness all around him as he past through the powerful wards. It was not the presence of any simply malady that caused the waning of physical strength or the withering of limbs that crawled over his skin. It was the twisting of the mind, the breaking of the soul that he felt in this place. His destination was in a part of the hospital that was completely isolated from the outside world.

The large solid oak door was heavily spelled, for it was meant to hold one of the most powerful wizards of all time. Yet he wondered if it really would hold him, should that wizard someday decide that he did not wish to stay?

It would seem that the staff of St. Mungo\'s agreed, for they had kept Harry Potter heavily sedated.


Albus touched the door and spoke the words to allow him to enter. Even so, the magic barrier around that room was a thick swirling mass that made him feel as if he were moving through warm water.


The door closed automatically behind the older man as he turned to see the reason that he had come to this place.


This was his penance, the price he had been forced to pay for the Light\'s victory over Voldemort. \"Harry,\" he said softly to the unmoving figure in the chair beside the window. Albus felt heartsick, as he looked at the pale, bedraggled boy with his hollow green eyes staring out of a small barred window.


The Headmaster could faintly see the magic swirl around the bars that imprisoned the Boy-who-lived. Could Harry see it also? Did he understand what had happened to him?


\'At least they have removed the straight jacket,\' thought Dumbledore sadly. The hunched boy wore only a simple blue hospital gown and loose fitting trousers of the same thin blue material. \'The poor child looks so cold,\' he sighed inwardly as he carefully took a heavy white blanket from the foot of the bed and lay it over Harry\'s legs. There was no reaction from the still form at all.


\"Harry, can you hear me?\" He really did not know whether the boy understood him or even knew that he was in the room. After raving for almost an hour about the horrible things that \'Sirius\' had done, the young wizard had suddenly fallen silent. He had slowly slumped in his chair, seemingly asleep. A few hours later at St. Mungo\'s the Savior of the Wizarding World opened his eyes once again, but they were empty, like those of the victim of a Dementor\'s kiss. He had not spoken since.


\"Do you know who I am?\" Sadly he was no longer surprised that in answer he received only silence. The last time he had been here, poor Harry had been near comatose. Albus had made sure that the hospital staff knew that he would be displeased if the dose of sedative potion was not reduced. Even so, the older wizard was not surprised that Harry would not acknowledged his presence.

\"Ronald and Hermione were asking about you,\" he said softly as he sat down on a hard metal chair that was securely bolted to the floor. \'Asking about you,\' he noted with a sigh. \'They watch me day and night. They want to know why this happened to you, and I can not give them a satisfactory explanation.\'


\"Molly Weasley would like to come by and give you a new sweater she knitted. I have asked that she be allowed to visit you. There is sometimes still a chill in the morning air, and a nice new sweater would help to keep you warm. Perhaps she could knit some thick socks as well?\"


No answer, not even a blink of the unfocused eyes.


\"Oh, you would be happy to learn that Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw quite handily in the Quidditch match last week. Young Ginny Weasley is an exceptional Seeker,\" Dumbledore continued to speak of simple everyday things. Nothing that might excite or upset Harry if on some level he heard and understood.


He did not speak at all of Severus Snape or the child created by Harry\'s madness.


Dumbledore managed to keep up his false good humor for about an hour, then he fell silent. For a time he continued to watch the frail, unmoving form, but eventually the sadness became overwhelming. A tear started to fall down his cheek as the Headmaster stood. \"Goodbye Harry,\" he said as genially as possible as he turned to leave. \"I will see you next week,\" he assured as his hand touched the door handle.


\"Dum-ble-dore,\" rasped a voice so weak and thin that Albus almost missed it.

\"Harry? Did you speak?\" he gasped, moving to stand before the pathetic figure. He dropped slowly to one knee and gripped the younger wizard\'s cold hands, unsure if he had actually heard anything at all.


\"Dumbledore,\" whispered Harry as he slowly turned from the window to gaze at him with veiled eyes.


\"Harry child, do you know me?\" His old heart quickened, could this mean that there was hope?


\"I know,\" the younger man looked up with real comprehension in those exhausted green eyes, for as far as Dumbledore knew the first time since being sent to this place. \"I know that you are Headmaster Dumbledore,\" Harry blinked at him. \"You just missed Sirius.\"


The Headmaster swallowed hard, his heart falling to his shoes, \"You saw Sirius Black here?\" Dumbledore had spoken to one of the staff when he arrived. The wards on this room were monitored night and day. No one had been in here since the orderly had brought Harry\'s breakfast that morning.


\"Uh huh,\" his head bobbed up and down slightly, \"Sirius says that he left some presents for Snape before he left Hogwarts,\" said Harry in a low hoarse voice, his eyes becoming more alert as he spoke. \"Things that could hurt him, and the, b-baby,\" he stuttered. There was fear in those deep green eyes. \"You will protect them, won\'t you, Sir? Please do not let Sirius hurt them.\"


\"Harry, child you must tell me exactly what Sirius has done,\" said Dumbledore carefully.

---


Severus Snape stood just outside the double doors of his private supply cabinet with a clipboard in one hand and a long black quill in the other. With everything that had been going on, it had been ages since he had taken a full inventory of his personal stock of potion supplies. Now that he was able to stand on his own for long periods without collapsing, he thought this would be a good time to get it done.

Admittedly, he did feel a bit of trepidation despite himself. The last time he had performed the simple task of checking his classroom stores, he ended up almost dying. But Snape refused to allow a memory to take control of him again.


The Slytherin would be damned if he would let Potter defeat him!


He looked up at the high shelves with a critical eye. These were the ingredients that he used in his personal research, as well as some that were just too dangerous to be in the classroom where inexperienced children might accidentally or on purpose take the wrong vial. He also kept many of the bulk items here. The students tended to use too much of many common substances if they were readily available. Which was why he did not allow students or anyone else near this place.


It was not that there was anything illegal in that cabinet, but there were many highly poisonous or unstable compounds that he would not want in the hands of irresponsible children.


He had unlocked the doors and started to open them when he heard a loud knock behind him. Severus set down the clipboard and quill on a low worktable and with a muttered curse he stalked towards the hall door. It opened to the worried face of Remus Lupin.


Severus felt his stomach tighten even as his cheek burned at the memory of a gently brush of skin on skin. Snape quickly pulled his usual emotionless mask into place. \"You are too late for your entertainment. Poppy has already watched me eat breakfast,\" Severus informed him with as much annoyance as he could muster. He did not want to admit that he was actually beginning to be able to tolerate, even occasionally enjoyed both Remus and Hagrid\'s presence.


\"I know. She told me you mentioned inventorying your stores this morning.\"


\"Remus.\" He still sometimes had to force himself not to say the almost derogatory, Lupin. Breaking the habit of over twenty years was not easy. \"I also told her that I would not open any of the jars, only check the level of their contents. I am well aware of how dangerous many of the things in that closet are and have no intention of endangering the,\" he hesitated, \"the foetus.\"


Snape blamed Hagrid, now he found himself beginning to really think of the little intruder in his belly as a child.


\"I am sure that is true Severus, but I believe that Poppy has forgotten that some of the shelves in that closet are over three meters high. You are pregnant and even you must admit that your leg is still somewhat weak. You have no business being near any sort of ladder.\" Remus walked over to where the other man had set down the clipboard and quill, he took both and went back to where the other man waited and held them out. \"I will do the grunt work, you take these, sit in that nice comfortable chair over there and write.\"


\"I am not going to allow you near my private stores Lupin, you cannot tell Merlin\'s Staff Root from Horseradish!\"


\"Ouch, lousy O.W.L.s scores come back to haunt me again,\" Remus chuckled. \"However, I am not as hopeless as you think. While living alone, I was forced to improve my potion skills. And I also have the advantage of being able to read your handwriting, which you must admit is a chore by itself,\" the werewolf flashed him a broad grin. \"Besides, if you do not let me help you, I will run and tattle to Poppy.\"


\"Am I surrounded by children? Every time I try to move, someone is threatening to tell Madam Pomfrey or Dumbledore that I am being a naughty boy!\" Severus growled in exasperation.


\"Well, if you would not insist on acting like a naughty boy that is trying to get away with something, then perhaps we would not need to tattle so much?\" countered Lupin, not backing down one inch.

Severus glared, but after a moment his stiff shoulders slumped slightly in defeat, snatched the clipboard and quill, then stalked to the chair and sat down with an angry flourish of black silk robes. \"I preferred you when you were not so annoyingly assertive,\" Snape hissed under his breath.


\"No, I was just easier for you to ignore,\" corrected Remus having heard every word as he stepped through the double doors into the cabinet. \'You cannot ignore me any more Severus,\' thought Remus with a smile as he surveyed row upon row of jars, and vials of various sizes and shapes. It was, on the whole, a very impressive array of glassware. \"Should I just begin reading off the jars or will you read an ingredient and I look for it?\" inquired the werewolf.


\"They are in alphabetical order, bottom to top. Give me the name and the level of the contents.\"


\"Ok, let me see, Aardvark tongue, eww, one jar, half full. Absinthe, half a bottle,\" Lupin blinked, \"Absinthe? But this stuff is...\"


\"For several of the more powerful sleeping drafts,\" Severus informed him coldly.


\"OK, let me see. Aconite, one third full,\" Remus set down the jar and lifted another, \"Aloe Vera,\" he paused, \"Aloe Vera?\"


\"For burns.\"


\"Right, two jars of Aloe Vera, both completely full. No accidents lately? Well, there have been few potion classes for the last month.\" Snape frowned but said nothing. \"Let me see, Angelica,\" Remus stopped. \"I thought that was for...\"


He closed his mouth as Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose, a sure sign of the beginnings of a headache. \"Lupin, if you are going to question every item that you see, this is going to take all day!\" he sighed in exasperation.


\"Sorry.\" The Gryffindor looked sheepish. \"I am supposed to be making things easier for you, not getting your blood pressure up. I will just read off the labels, and content levels, no questions or editorial comments,\" he turned and lifted the next jar, \"Let me know if I go too fast. Anise seed two jars both almost empty. One jar Ashwinder eggs, half-full. One jar Ashwinder venom, completely full. One jar Arrowroot, fresh, empty. Two jars Arrowroot, ground, One empty, one third full...\"


They continued in a more orderly fashion until they had reached the Elder flowers, when they both heard Albus Dumbledore\'s very worried voice come from a small blue flame fireplace. \"Severus, Severus are you there? Please answer, this is urgent!\"


\"Yes Albus, I am here,\" Snape called as Remus descended the ladder and moved to the fireplace.


Just as the last word left Severus\' mouth, Albus Dumbledore stumbled out of the floo. \"Remus, thank Merlin you are here,\" gasped the older wizard catching sight of the werewolf.


Severus stood slowly and walked over to the obviously agitated Headmaster. \"What is going on Albus?\" he asked.


\"I have just spoken to Harry...\"


\"Harry spoke?\" gasped Remus. He was unsuccessful in holding back his excitement.


Neither man noticed Severus flinch.


\"Yes Remus,\" Dumbledore sighed. \"He told me that Sirius had been there.\" Remus\' face fell. \"I spoke to the staff at St. Mungo\'s, the wards were unbroken. No one had been in Harry\'s room since the orderly three hours before my arrival. Harry said that Sirius had left traps for Severus around the school. One is a bottle of Ashwinder venom in that cabinet.\"


\"But I touched the jar of Ashwinder venom,\" said Remus, \"nothing happened.\"


\"Harry said that it would explode if Severus got close to it,\" Dumbledore frowned. \"Probably set to his magical signature.\"


\"What would Ashwinder venom do?\" asked Remus feeling a little embarrassed that he could not remember.



\"It would not have killed him,\" said Albus, \"but...\"


\"Ashwinder venom even in small doses will cause severe muscular contractions,\" gulped Snape with a hand on his stomach as he finished the Headmaster\'s explanation. \"It is the primary ingredient in several illegal and dangerous potions to terminate pregnancy.\"


Remus\' placed a reassuring hand on Severus\' shoulder. The werewolf could feel the other man trembling as he turned to the Headmaster. \"Albus, did Harry tell you where all of those traps are?\"


\"He told me about five of them. But Harry\'s mind is so completely divorced from reality that it would be foolish to assume those are the only ones. That is why I intend for us to go through this castle from dungeon to tower to find and disarm any possible cures or traps.\" He looked to Severus. \"I will not allow you or your child to come to harm.\"


\"But Albus, I do not understand. Harry brewed the potion and used it to impregnate Severus in the first place. He would have had to set up these traps before the attack. Why would he create a child with every intention of harming it?\" asked the werewolf.


\"I am not sure, but from what I could discern, the part of him that is Sirius Black seems to consider the child as nothing more than a part of the prank. While Harry is horrified at all of this, his other self holds Severus in contempt and wished to hurt him in every way possible.\" With that the Headmaster strode over to the open supply cabinet and cast a charm on the innocent looking bottle labeled Ashwinder venom. It began to glow with a deep blood red light, revealing that it was indeed cursed. Severus froze as the container disintegrated within the confines of the spell. When the glow faded it was gone.


\"Remus, I will remove the other traps that Harry told me about. Perhaps you should take Severus to the infirmary?\" said the Headmaster, not liking the lost, frightened look in those deep black eyes.


\"Infirmary?\" Snape gasped in confusion, as if just waking from a sound sleep. \"No, I am, I will be...\" Severus felt Remus\' arms around him from behind as his legs tried to gave out.


\"Sh, it is alright Severus, everything will be alright,\" Remus held him tightly as the other man sobbed and trembled violently, in the throws of a full-fledged panic attack.


\"Potter will kill us both!\" he cried. \"He destroyed Voldemort, how can I fight him?\"


\"No,\" Albus took him gently from Remus and held him against his chest. Severus buried his face in Dumbledore\'s thick white mane. \"Harry is well guarded and cannot leave his room at St. Mungo\'s. He will not touch you or your child, I swear it,\" Albus assured, then softly began to whisper a spell in the frightened man\'s ear.


Snape slowly went limp.


Remus moved to catch the volumes of black cloth as the Potions Master slumped into his arms. He carefully lifted Severus and made for the floo. Dumbledore tossed a handful of powder into the fireplace. \"Hogwarts Infirmary!\" he shouted. Remus held unconscious man tightly to his chest as they both disappeared into the bright blue flames leaving Albus alone with his guilt and pain.


Dumbledore wanted to go with Remus, to stay close to Severus, but he could not. There were at least four more traps for him to disarm.

tbc