Marvin the Mad Muggle

Disclaimer: It’s not mine! *sob* Harry, all of his
friends, and the entirety of Potterverse all belong to J.K. Rowling and I swear
that I’m not making any money off of it. BUT…Marvin is mine, mine, mine and if
you touch him I will hex you into oblivion

Chapter 15: Snape’s Revenge

Harry stumbled as the portkey
deactivated only to have Snape grab his arm until he regained his balance. He
had expected to be allowed to fall face first in the dirt. Straightening up
Harry was immediately assaulted with over a dozen people jumping out from
behind bushes screaming ‘SURPRISE’! His wand was in his hand and a few good
hexes on his lips, but Snape gave his arm a squeeze.

“Easy there, Harry. Can’t have
you cursing your partygoers.” Snape had a little bemused smile on his face
that made Harry shiver. Really, he couldn’t handle this. In fourteen years,
Harry had never seen Snape do more than crack a smirk from time to time. If
the war ending had not changed the Potions Master’s attitude then Harry was sure
that a few pranks couldn’t do the trick.

“Er…so…um…this is just a surprise
party then,” Harry asked Snape quietly.

The Potions Master quirked a
brow. “Really, Harry, where did you think I was going to take you?”

Payback. Harry was certain
he had heard the portkey password correctly, but still here he was at the
Burrow and all the people that he couldn’t find all day were coming over to hug
him or clap him on the back.

Snape leaned in close for a
moment. “You go ahead and mingle; I’ll retrieve Marvin for you. I think
they’re hiding him in the house.”

Mingle? Did Severus Snape just
tell me to mingle?

Harry shook his head slightly as
he watched Snape walk away. He needed to talk to Albus and find out what he
had done to the man and how long it was going to last.

Ron walked over and punched him
lightly on the arm. “Well, I heard the fireworks were a smashing success. I hope
you didn’t mind my little addition.”

“No, I think it had an…interesting
effect.” Harry smiled as he spied Marvin and Snape coming back out of the
Weasley house. Marvin was giving Snape curious looks and when he caught
Harry’s eye he jerked his head a bit towards the tall wizard beside him. Harry
just shrugged and sipped on the drink Molly had thrust in his hand. He turned
to face Ron and tune back into to what he was saying.

“…really surprised actually. I
didn’t think he’d actually do it.”

Harry frowned. Didn’t think who
would do what? Were the twins up to something again? His questions died in
his throat however as Snape and Marvin joined them. Marvin came to stand
beside Harry and Snape…well Snape stood beside Ron and threw his arm around the
redhead’s shoulders. Harry narrowly avoided spewing punch all over the pair.
He glanced sideways at Marvin who was looking at Snape with a little thoughtful
frown.

Snape smiled brightly then and
called for everyone’s attention. Harry felt his stomach clench. “Everyone
could I have your attention please? I just wanted you all to hear me thank
Harry and Marvin. Guys, if it wasn’t for you and your spectacular fireworks I might
never have given Ron a chance.”

Before Harry could say anything in
response, Snape dipped Ron low and laid one on him. Everything inside Harry
froze as he watched the most hated teacher in Hogwarts’ history snog his best
friend. He barely register a camera flash as his vision began to blur and he
fell backwards, his body still clenched straight as a board.

______________________________________________________________________

Marvin blinked once, twice, three
times, but the image remained the same. Ron Weasley was sucking face with
Severus Snape. He heard a thud beside him and turned to see Harry passed out
on the ground. Then he heard the giggle. He turned to glare suspiciously at
Snape. “Did you just giggle?”

*snort* “No.” *giggle*

Marvin’s eyes went wide. “Yes you
did! Who are you really?”

‘Snape’ tried to glare at him, but
the giggles just ruined it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh no you don’t. I will believe
that Snape could smile, I might believe that he could grin, I might even be
willing to admit that the man would laugh if the situation was actually funny
enough (but only because I’ve seen it once before), but I will never EVER
believe that Severus Snape would giggle.”

“Thank you for that Mr. Vindeau,”
said a silky voice from behind him. “Still, are you implying that you believe
that I would kiss Mr. Weasley?”

Marvin spun around to see another
Snape, identically dressed and looking much more Snape-like with his slight
scowl. Turning back to regard the ‘Snape’ standing next to Ron, he thought
long and hard for a moment. Then something clicked. “Tonks!”

The auror quickly shifted back to
her usually appearance, bubblegum pink hair and all. She was grinning ear to
ear as she extended her hand to Marvin. “Actually, its Lupin now, but as long
as you don’t call me Nymphadora I won’t complain.”

Marvin doubled over laughing,
hands on his knees. “Oh man…I just couldn’t believe that! Severus, that was
amazing. Man did you have us going.”

He glanced up to see Snape
smirking at him slightly. “Yes, well its called subtlety, Marvin, you should
try it sometime.”

Marvin stood back up and took a
deep breath before giving Snape a little salute. “Yes, sir!” He looked down
at Harry then and knelt beside his friend. Patting the wizard’s cheek lightly,
Marvin tried to wake him. “Harry? Wake up, Harry, you’re going to miss your
birthday party!”

Harry’s eyes slowly opened and
focused on Marvin’s face. His body tensed for a moment and then seemed to relax
as he spotted Marvin’s grin. “Oh Marvin, I had the most horrible dream.
Everybody disappeared and forgot my birthday except for Snape! He was being
nice to me all day and it was really creepy. Then he portkeyed me to a
surprise party. Marvin he KISSED RON! I dreamt that Snape kissed Ron.”

Marvin chuckled. “Harry, it
wasn’t a dream.”

“What,” Harry said weakly.

“It. Was. Not. A. Dream,”
Marvin said very slowly. “You really did see them kissing, and you’re going to
have a picture to prove it.”

Harry suddenly became very pale
and then very green. Snape took that moment to step in. “Potter, do you
really think I would kissed the redheaded twit?”

Ron sighed. “And so the dream
ends. Oh well it was good while it lasted, Sevvie.”

Then Ron pretty much tackled Snape
to give him a quick kiss. (Marvin was pretty sure that he saw tongue.) Snape
quickly broke the embrace, pulled out his wand, and hexed Ron before apparating
away. Barely noticing as Harry fainted beside him once again, Marvin grinned
as he took in Ron’s little change. “Well, Ron, was it worth it?”

Ron’s now round and delicate face
pulled into a sheepish smile. “Oh yeah,” he said in a soft, high-pitched
voice. Marvin fell backwards to the ground and dissolved into fits of
laughter. It seemed they were going to have to call the redhead Rhonda for a
while.