A Reason To Be

When the Hogwarts Express had returned, Draco had pushed his way off the train and jumped in the first carriage he could find. The ride to the castle had never gone so slow before. Finally, when his carriage arrived at the door of the school, he leaped out and went inside. Harry and Ron watched Malfoy move with such expediency and wondered what he was doing. The two would have made a beeline straight to the hospital wing but Argus Filch had detained them for a search. Somehow Draco had managed to slip by Mr. Filch and his search for anything that could be used for trouble-making.

Draco ran through the halls and bounded up the stairs. All the students were coming down for dinner so more than once he had to shouted at them get out of the way or shove them aside. By the time he made it to the door of the hospital wing, Draco was panting heavily. He pushed open the wooden doors and walked in. At the far end of the long room stood Madam Pomfrey, Minerva McGonagall, Professor Hallimer and Dumbledore. They clustered at the foot of the last bed in the row. Draco slowed down to walk as he approached them. His gaze immediately went from the group of adults to the figure in the bed.

“Here he is. Mr. Malfoy is the one who discovered Miss Granger.” Professor Hallimer announced as he waved his arm in Draco’s direction. Draco slowed to a halt in front of the teachers. He stood uncomfortably with his hands in his pockets and waited for someone to tell him something. Draco scanned their faces and found all of them looked the same but still no one spoke.

“Draco, I would first like to say how very grateful we all are that you were there to help Miss Granger. One does not want imagine what would have happened if had not been there.” Professor McGonagall said, her voice soft and lips pursed. Draco sighed and cut her off before she could continue.

“How she is?” Draco asked, his voice was exhausted. The whole affair had drained all his energy.

“I tell you that she would have been much worse, we are all thankful…” Professor Hallimer commented, forcing a smile.

“I asked how she was, not wither you were thankful or not!” Draco replied impatiently. Everyone’s eyes went to the floor and no answer came for him. Draco’s eyes darted around to each of them; none of them would look him in the eye.

“For Merlin’s sake, say something!” Draco shouted at them. This time he did get a reply.

“Hermione is comatose, Draco. She was brutally attacked. Madam Pomfrey has deduced that the attacker used the Cruciatus Curse many times. Her wounds also suggest that they attacked her physically as well. She was nearly killed, she would have died in that alley had you not found her.” Dumbledore spoke gravely. The twinkle of joy and mischief in his eyes were nowhere to be found now. Draco’s eyes lost their focus as he looked over at the bed, his mouth parted slightly and he drew in a shallow breath. Draco slowly walked over to the bedside and looked down at her. They changed her into a pair of pajamas, the cuts and bruises had been attended to though the color had not returned to her skin yet. The only thing Draco could think of was that this was all his fault; it was because of him that Hermione was lying there motionless, looking as though she was on death’s doorstep.

“When will she wake up?” Draco whispered. Madam Pomfrey walked over Malfoy and laid her hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know, my lad. I don’t know if she will ever wake up.” The mediwitch said sadly. Draco looked up, eyes glassy. He could not believe what he was hearing, it was just a few hours ago that she was laughing and smiling. Now she was lying in a coma in the hospital wing of Hogwarts. Draco could not shake the horrible ache he felt in his chest when he thought that he had indeed been the cause of this. It just wasn’t right, it was not fair. He felt powerful guilt but the only thing that was stronger than that was the anger and hatred that was welling up within him.

‘Damn them, damn them to hell.’ Draco fumed. He could not stand to be there any longer. Draco walked away abruptly, nearly knocking Madam Pomfrey to the ground. He stormed out of the medical ward without as much as a word to anyone. He headed down the hall, the few students he did encounter steered clear of him. He stomped up to the staircase and huffed in frustration when it started changing directions.

When he finally made it to Antoinette’s portrait, he was in no mood to talk. Antoinette greeted him sweetly but he merely barked the password and walked in. Draco paced angrily as he kicked off his shoes and threw off the layers of Muggle clothes he had been wearing all day. He went over and flopped down on his bed. All his anger and frustration and boiled over and now he was completely and utterly exhausted. He didn’t even have the strength to pull the covers over him.

He lay there for quite sometime, replaying the events of the day. Meeting Hermione in the music store and shopping with her. He remembered her smile and her laugh. She proved she could flirt just as well as he could. Then the warm smile and laugh melted from his mind and all he could hear was Pansy’s nasty giggle and all he could see was Hermione; bleeding and broken. It was then when his eyes welled up and a tear rolled down his cheek.

‘Oh come off it! It was just the mudblood, who cares?!?!’ Draco screamed at himself when he felt the hot tears in his eyes. It was no use though; he couldn’t even convince himself that she didn’t matter. Draco wiped the moisture from his face and rolled over to bury his head in his pillows. He lay for a long time, hoping and praying that sleep would come, but of course it never did. When he finally moved, he looked at the clock and found that a few hours had past and now everyone would be in bed. Draco stared at the face of the clock for a few minutes. He then pushed himself up from the warm bed and got up. He grabbed the nearest shirt and pajama pants available and slid his feet in his slippers. He went to his nightstand and extracted his wand from the drawer and then shuffled over to the door and pushed the painting open. Antoinette was asleep. He knew he had been rude to her earlier but was thankful she was not awake. He did not want to talk to anyone.

“Lumos.” Draco whispered, the tip of his wand providing him with enough light to navigate the dark corridors. He then made his way carefully and quietly down the stairs, being very careful to avoid wherever he thought Filch or Mrs. Norris might be lurking. Finally he came to his destination; the hospital wing. The great doors were locked of course but Draco made short work of it with a simple incantation.

When he entered he saw there were a few torches that dimly lit the large room. He walked over to where Hermione still lay and stood at the foot of her bed. Draco just stared at her for a while and then something caught his eye. There was a chair near her bedside that had not been there earlier.

‘No doubt Potter and Weasley have been here. Bastards probably think I did this to her.’ Draco thought to himself as he made his way over to the chair and eased himself down into it. He extinguished his wand and leaned back into the chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

“This is my fault you know, they did this because of me.” Draco whispered, half to her and half to himself. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in efforts to ward off the massive headache he felt coming on. Then he thought about what he had said to them on the train. He felt a small surge of determination.

“They aren’t going to hurt you again though, I promise you. I’ll sit here day in and day out if I have to. I will kill them if they try again.” Draco whispered to her. That was the last thing he said. Soon after he leaned his head back in the chair and his tiresome state caught up with him. He slept in the chair beside Hermione’s bed until the next morning when a confused Madam Pomfrey awakened him.