Tequila

It was the end of a long school day and Severus sat in his favourite chair, a glass of whiskey in one hand while the other tried to massage the scowl from his face. He was exhausted from trying to school his features into their usual glower as opposed to the sadness and weariness that so belonged there at the moment.

He’d been thinking long and hard about the situation with Harry and had come to no conclusions. He felt deeply for the boy, and missed every second that he had not seen him, but he was determined to talk to no one until he’d figure out exactly what he wanted. Unfortunately the past 2 days of hard thinking and little contact with other people had caused his emotions to become extremely turbulent and he now had less idea than ever of what he wanted. Harry had affected him in a way he had never thought possible and he knew that he desperately needed to sort his head out if he was ever going to be able to function normally.

He heard a firm rap at his door and, as usual these days, ignored it. Only Albus had been in touch with him recently and he knew to do it through the floo otherwise he’d be as resolutely ignored as this person was just now. Severus reached out with his magic and after determining that the person on the other side was in no kind of distress and was absolutely not Slytherin he turned his back to the door and continued to sip his drink. The rap came again. And again. And again.

// God dammit, why isn’t this person giving up? //

After about the eighth knock on his door, Severus’ tense emotions sprung loose and he threw his glass into the fireplace forcefully, shattering it into a thousand pieces and sending up a little whoosh of flames before striding to the door, angrier than he’d been in a long time. His magical burst threw open the door long before he arrived at it and the person standing on the other side was confronted by the sight of a furious potions professor striding towards the door, anger distorting his features, his hands held out in front as if to strangle someone.

Most people (most sane people) would have turned and run, screaming in horror and probably traumatised for life, but Hermione Granger was not most people and as she looked at the professor, he could see by the steely glint in her eyes that she was not moved. Stopping before her, he tried to make himself massive and intimidating as he had done for years but she was clearly unaffected.

Stepping around him and into the room, she appraised him coolly before stating, “Your little temper tantrum does not impress me professor. Please sit down so we can talk rationally like adults.”

Severus was flabbergasted. Never in his life had a student spoken to him in such a way, and if any would the LAST person he would expect to hear this from was Hermione Granger.

He instantly felt like laughing.

Pushing the door closed behind her he sat down and gestured for her to do the same.

Hermione serenely took a seat, all smiles and politeness.

// Well she’s just won a little victory, I suppose she can afford to be gracious. //

“What can I do for you Miss Granger?”

Hermione looked appraisingly at her teacher. She had never seen him looking so weary.

“I’ve come to apologise for missing your class today Professor. As I’m sure you are aware, Harry is unwell and took a little turn for the worse this afternoon and I didn’t want to leave him alone.”

Hermione smiled inwardly as she saw a flicker of pain in the mans eyes at the mention of Harry’s name before his whole face contorted with worry at his ‘turn for the worse’.

“Is he alright Miss Granger? Has he been taken to the hospital wing?”

“No, sir. We have left him in his dormitory. He is refusing to be moved to the hospital wing. We none of us really know what’s wrong with him, but he’s been listless and mopey for days now. As far as anyone can tell he’s fine physically, well apart from not eating, but emotionally he seems to be very down. We think that the whole war situation might be finally hitting him. Like a delayed reaction to everything that happened.”

Hermione leaned forward in her seat, catching her professor’s eye. “I was thinking that you might visit with him sir. You always seemed to be a comfort to him when he was upset during the war and I was thinking that if anyone could pull him out of his misery it would be you.”

Hermione watched Professor Snape’s eyes dart back and forth and was shocked. She’d never before seen so much emotion on his face. It was really quite astounding. Not even when he’d been hailed a hero after the war and various people had begged his forgiveness for ever doubting him did he even flicker for a second from the mask of indifference that he kept up daily. She decided to put the man out of his misery.

“Professor, I know about you and Harry. I know you’ve been seeing each other and I know you fought the other night.” She held up her hand as she could see Snape was about to interrupt. “Please, Professor, let me finish. I was going to say that I’ve never seen Harry happier than I’ve seen him these past few months that you’ve been together. He’s desperately sorry about what he said about Draco and he really didn’t mean it. You’ve got to see that. He’s spent so long being antagonistic towards Malfoy and being tormented in return that it was said in the heat of the moment. Now I don’t know the circumstances of what’s going on with Malfoy. Harry wouldn’t break a confidence, no matter whose, but I understand that something unpleasant is happening and if you thought about it, I’m sure you’d see that Harry is one of the best people to help you out in this situation. Surely you can see that he has the ability to know and see things and people that most people would miss, and I’m not talking about any kind of special magical ability, I’m talking about props that he can use and his way of seeing into the very heart of people. Please sir, talk to him about this and sort things out. I’ve never seen you both so upset.”

Hermione had said as much as she could without giving away anything about the marauders map and she was just standing to leave when she heard a croak come from her Professor.

“Please Miss Granger, stay a moment. If you think that the incident with Mr Malfoy is the only thing that’s causing problems then you are very sadly mistaken.”

Severus had never spoken to anyone about his love life (or lack usually) and was very hesitant to speak to a student about it, but being that she knew the situation and was one of Harry’s closest friends, he was hoping she would be able to help him.

Severus rubbed his hand over his face before snapping his fingers and producing 2 glasses and a decanter on his table.

“Can I offer you a drink Miss Granger? Don’t worry, it pours as firewhiskey for me but will pour as pumpkin juice or some other form of non-alcoholic beverage for yourself.”

Hermione instantly reached for the decanter and poured a fresh tomato juice into her glass.

“How wonderful,” she said running her hands over the decanter curiously. “What an unusual item. Wherever did you get it?”

Severus smiled around his glass. “Dumbledore bought it for me several years ago as a birthday gift. He never told me where he got it or how it’s enchanted, but the possibilities of it are endless. If I could find something that would pour out the potions ingredients that I needed when I needed them, I would save months of research trying to find them. Dumbledore however is being uncharacteristically closed mouth about where he got the thing.”

Severus leaned back in his chair and tried to think of the best way to frame his thoughts about Harry.

“Miss Granger. I understand you and Harry are very close and I want you to please assure him that while I was saddened by his reaction to Mr Malfoy the other night, it is by no means the reason for my avoidance of him.”

Hermione watched the professor trying to sort out his thoughts and decided to wait till he was finished before saying anything.

“I am a lonely man Hermione, I have been all my life. And I do not say this to entice sympathy from you because for most of my life I’ve been happy being alone. Then your young Mr Potter comes bursting into my life making me feel things I haven’t allowed myself to feel for more than 20 years and I must admit, it’s blown my head a bit. Not only do I have to deal with the fact that I want to be with someone, but I also have to deal with the fact that I’m attracted to a student, the saviour of the wizarding world and a 17 year old boy as well. You understand that for a man as closed as myself that this is extremely difficult to deal with, and I absolutely do not want to string Harry along while I explore whether my feelings for him are long lasting ones or flash in the pan lusting ones.” Severus pleaded with his eyes. “Surely you can see that I have to sort this out before I hurt him?”

Hermione felt a sympathy with Severus that she really thought she would never feel for the acerbic man. She had spent so many years thinking of him as a teacher that she’d completely forgot that there was a soul lurking deep beneath those robes.

“Professor Snape. I understand that you do not wish to hurt Harry while you think about this, but you have to realise that this unwavering silence from yourself is hurting more than if you’d just told him you never wanted to see him again. He’s confused and unsure about where you both stand in regards to this relationship and while he was happy exploring his feelings with you, shutting him out completely is causing more problems than you could know. Please just explain to Harry what’s going on. Put the boy out of his misery and explain that you’re trying to sort your head out. Otherwise you might find that the decision is no longer yours to make.”

With that, Hermione stood up and left the older man to his thoughts. And he had plenty to think about.

Walking down the corridor toward the Gryffindor common room, Hermione thought hard about the revelations she’d received that day. With only a few weeks left of school, she should be concentrating on her goals for after the summer, applying for muggle universities and looking into furthering her learning in the magical world as well, but Harry’s happiness was important to everyone and everyone felt they owed him something for the war and so, although she knew Harry would never expect it of her, she was determined to see him happy before she left school.

She arrived back in the boys dormitory to find Harry still in bed, his curtains closed and the other boys sat on Seamus’ bed talking about it.

“I can’t figure out what's wrong with him,” Ron was saying, “he wont talk to me. He doesn’t even seem interested in quidditch any more.”

“Yeah,” Seamus shot back. “He’s seemed really happy recently then suddenly WHAM!” Seamus smacked his hands together and Neville started, “he’s back being all moody and stuff.”

Hermione looked at them all sitting around, discussing their friend like he had something to be sorry for, before ushering them out of the room.

“And it’s our bloody dormitory too,” Dean mumbled before leaving hastily at the look on Hermione’s face.

Once they had all left and she had closed the door behind them she made her way over to Harry’s bed. His curtains shot open, almost before she’d even cleared her throat.

“What did you say to him?” he demanded eagerly. “What did he say to you? Tell me everything, I can’t believe you went and spoke to him about it!!!!”

Harry wanted to be angry about it but he was too desperate to hear what they had said. And he couldn’t really say she broke her promise cause she hadn’t told anyone who didn’t already know.

“Well we had a little chat. You know he has this really interesting decanter…”

“Hermione,” Harry almost screamed.

Hermione smiled before relenting and giving him what he needed.

“He didn’t really say much except that the fight the other night wasn’t the main reason he was avoiding everyone. He said he needs to think about things and try to sort his head out. I think he’s just a bit wary of the fact that you’re so much younger than him. I know that in 50 years it won’t make that much of a difference but for the moment he’s still thinking that he’s almost double your age. I would advise leaving him alone for a bit. Let him think about everything he needs to.”

Her eyes took on a sneaky look.

“I think the best thing you could do is to put your self in his line of sight without hounding him. Let him realise how much he is missing you without pushing him. He’ll soon realise how much he cares for you.”


Harry stared at his best friend for a long few minutes before smiling and saying, “Are you sure you shouldn’t have been in Slytherin Hermione? That’s a rather sneaky little scheme.”

Hermione chuckled. “It’s not really you know. It’s how I made Ron finally get up the courage to ask me out. While you were in training all that time, I only saw him in classes and at meals. He obviously didn’t have you and it started to slowly filter into his mind that he didn’t have me either. Eventually he asked me to go to Hogsmede with him. And that was how we first started dating.”

Harry felt suddenly bad that he’d never heard this story before. He’d known for ages how they felt about each other and had com back from his training one day to find them firmly attached at the lips to the embarrassment of just about everyone under the age of 16 in the common room. After giving them an ‘about time’ smile he’d left it at that.

Hermione anticipated what he was gonna say. “Don’t worry about it Harry. Your love life is far more interesting than mine just now. Me and Ron are so ridiculously perfect for each other that we’re like a really old married couple who still has sex.” She giggled mischievously. “I promise Harry, if you do that, he’ll start talking to you again. Whether you sort out the problems or not, he won’t be able to resist you being so unavailabley available.”

Harry smiled and for the first time in days got out of his bed for something other than the bathroom, the Slytherin side of his mind scheming. Heading into the shower before bed he began his wicked thoughts.

// Oh, Severus. You really don’t want me playing games with you. //