Deathsong Balladeer

Dark God\'s Fall

Severus turned slowly, his eyes blank and his mind chaos. //And so it will end.// How things had come to this, he did not know. Lucius was standing across the room, watching Severus with placid, amused eyes. //He is too far gone. There is nothing that can get through to him now. I have no choice in what must be done.//

\"Lucius.\" Severus took a step forward, heart wrenching at the task before him.

\"You\'re being over dramatic, Sev.\" Lucius pouted, then tilted his head back and laughed.

\"Most likely.\" Severus gave a wry smile. //I wish it had not come to this, Lucius. I wish you had not gone so far into your dementia. I wish...// But if wishes were broomsticks, beggars would fly.

\"Do I even want to know what, exactly, has transpired tonight?\"

\"Most likely no.\" Severus shook his head, slowly approaching Lucius. \"But we are alone now. Come. Sit.\" He lowered himself to the couch, and patted the seat beside him. He would be as kind as he possibly could.

\"Tired with your young lover already?\" Lucius ignored the spot next to Severus, straddling his lap directly. \"I knew you\'d come running back soon enough. You know who truly loves you.\"

\"Yes, I do.\" Severus nodded, suddenly seeing Lucius not as a heartless monster, but a man who had been done a great wrong. //He was once as sane as Harry or myself. Voldemort did tho hio him.// It was a sad, sobering thought. Voldemort had created the monster that was Lucius Malfoy. Severus turned tired eyes to the man whom he had once called his lover.

\"You seem sad, Sev.\" Lucius reached up to run his hand over Severus\' cheek.

\"I am, Lucius, I am.\" He leaned into the other man, resting his head under Lucius\' chin. \"I am old and tired and I want very muc res rest.\"

\"You\'re not old at all, Sev.\" Lucius wrapped his arms around Severus, pulling him close. \"You\'re younger then I am, and I\'m not even into my prime.\"

\"Age isn\'t always years, Lucius.\"

//He can sense something. Seldom is he quite so complacent. He knows that there is something wrong.// Severus did not look up, content for the moment to lay against Lucius. For a moment, he could pretend things were as they had been, so long ago. Yes, Lucius had always had a tendency towards violence, but it had been nothing like this. There had been a sane, reasonable man inside there somewhere.

//And I loved him once. A part of me loves him still, and will love him even after he is gone.// The golden god, the blinding creature that had once captured him was tarnished now, but the same. Like a fallen god, altar toppled and temple razed, he was a violent shadow of what he had once been. //He is the demon to Harry\'s angel. From the ashes of one, the other has risen. A pretty thought, I suppose.//

\"Pah. You\'re speaking nonsense.\" Lucius tilted his head down, lips caressing Severus\' forehead. \"Let me ease your suffering...\"

\"No Lucius, let me ease yours.\" Severus sat up, his throat tightening. He rested his hand on Lucius\' thigh, searching his eyes for any spark of sanity. //It\'s useless. He\'s gone. Do this, and be merciful.//

\"I\'m not suffering, Sev.\" Lucius smiled like a small child.

\"You are, Lucius. You are a rabid animal. You have no sense of the things you do, the proportion of the things you do.\"

\"I\'ve no idea what you\'re talking about.\" Lucius pulled back, grey eyes narrowing.

\"Which is why I must do this.\" Severus\' voice was weighty and grim. He could feel his resolve weaken, even as he gathered it about himself.

\"Do what? Turn me in'd l'd like to see you try, you backstabbing snake!\"

\"No.\" Severus shook his head. \"What sort of fool do you take me for? And I have far too much compassion for you to do that.\" He gave another small smile.

\"Then just what in Hecate\'s dark name are you talking about?\" Lucius raised an eyebrow at Severus, obviously confused.

\"I am sorry.\" Severus was trembling. He had killed before, but never like this. He had killed with his hands, with the curse, with various weapons...but he had never attempted to kill someone he loved. He reached up, hands caressing Lucius\' cheeks. He leaned forward, brushing his lips against the blond man\'s, ignoring the confusion in Lucius\' eyes. He would do this. He had to do this.

\"What are you doing, Severus?\" Lucius pulled back, grey eyes like steel. Severus swallowed hard. He could offer no explanation, give no justification. He could only do what he had steeled himself to do.

\"Lie back, Lucius.\" He forced what he hoped was a seductive glint into his eyes. \"I thought perhaps we\'d have a bit of fun.\" //How can Lucius buy these words?// They sounded forced and strained even to Severus\' own ears. But Lucius nodded, and stretched back like a cat, collapsing gracefully onto the couch. Severus laid himself down over Lucius, his hand slipping to the inside of his boot, where a small dagger was hidden. The tip was coated with a painless poison. A small, shallow cut would be enough. //It is all I can give him. A clean and painless death.//

\"You\'re acting quite odd tonight, Sev?\" It was more a question then a statement. Severus nodded.

\"Yes. I know. I\'m sorry. Now simply lay still...\"

\"What do you have in mind? You know I don\'t enjoy the role of the submissive.\" Lucius looked up, hair falling over his forehead to obscure his eyes.

\"Perhaps you should try.\" Severus said. \"Perhaps, for once, you should attempt to achieve the form of intimacy others do.\" //He should feel it , in, in his life.//

\"I\'ve no taste for such soft things.\" Lucius said with a bit of a sniff. \"You\'re confusing me with my son.\"

\"Lucius, I am an old man and I would like you to indulge me.\" Severus said sternly, silencing Lucius with a soft kiss. He felt Lucius\' lips go slack, but he insisted. He would do all he could to ease this night. And to perhaps save Lucius\' soul...

***

\"What do you think he\'s doing?\" Draco was pacing out in the hallway, arms folded over his slender chest. His white shirt was open, and his loose white pants were hanging low on his hips. He looked akin to a caged animal, and Harry was getting dizzy watching him.

\"What you were going to, probably.\" Harry said, sitting on the floor, cloak tucked up under him. He felt tired, and nervous. What if Severus wasn\'t able to do it? Or Lucius fought back? What if...?

\"It was my right!\"

\"Draco, no it wasn\'t. It\'s no one\'s *right*. Just like it wasn\'t your father\'s right to do all of that to you. Just...just be happy someone\'s finally doing something, okay? He\'s risking everything for you!\" Harry felt horrible about taking his fear and anger out on Draco, but there was no one else. \"So just stop acting like a spoiled little brat for once and act like at least a real person! Severus could go to Azkaban! And what do you care? You\'re whining that it\'s not you!\"

\"Shut up Potter.\" Draco glared in Harry\'s direction, and leaned against the wall. \"You still don\'t know what you\'re talking ab You You can\'t. You\'ve never been through what I have. Don\'t even!\" Harry had been about to remind Draco, that yes, Lucius had raped him as well, but Draco cut him off. \"He\'s not your father. And it was once. And whose name did he call out? And afterwards, did he tell you he loved you, and that was why he did this to you? Because he loved you, and this was good for you, and you made him so proud...I didn\'t think so. So keep your stupid Gryffindor nose out of this.\"

\"Don\'t be a prick.\" Was Harry\'s mumbled response. Draco was a bit of a drama queen, in his opinion. He certainly felt for what had been done for him, but Draco needed to learn that he wasn\'t going to get anywhere by bemoaning his situation.

\"I wish I knew what was going on...\" Draco turned sly eyes to Harry. \"Let me see your cloak...\"

\"No!\" Harry shook his head. \"Look, just let Severus do it.\"\"I \"I should be a part of it!\" Draco lunged at Harry, and the young Gryffindor had to take a step to the side to avoid injury.

\"Draco, if you don\'t stop this, I\'m going to use a body bind on you!\" Harry glared threateningly. He had enough to worry about without adding a prima donna Draco to the list. Draco didn\'t answer, simply folded his arms and pouted in the direction of the closed door.

***

Severus rested his head against Lucius chest, eyes closed. Lucius was very still, his breathing soft and hushed. His hands were resting lightly on Severus\' back, not moving just resting there.

\"There now.\" Severus said softly, kissing Lucius neck. He had never once taken Lucius before, and was actually a bit surprised that he\'d been allowed to. It had taken enough to be able to so shortly after climaxing. Lucius was tight, though not a virgin.

\"And you take pleasure in this?\" Lucius asked, a slight hint of mocking in his tone.

\"Yes.\" Severus began moving inside of Lucius, slowly and gently. He closed his eyes, kissing Lucius\' neck and chest. His hand was wrapped loosely around the hilt of the knife, waiting for the right moment to end this all. Lucius was unmoving beneath him, as Severus nuzzled at him gently. Nothing. There was nothing. Whatever Severus was trying to give him, it would come to nothing. Lucius would not be saved at the last moment. A horde of forgiving angels would not come and wing him to his rest. He sighed, his breath warm on Lucius\' neck. He shifted, hands sliding along smooth, lean thighs to grasp at the ivory hardness of hips. He moved himself tenderly inside Lucius, gently, lips never leaving neck and collarbone. Lucius remained unresponsive, even when Severus climaxed again, with a small, muted sound.

//End this. You have no right to thrust this upon him. Let him die as he has lived. Abandon these foolish, maudlin notions and just end this.// He knew he was right. He took a deep breath, his body shuddering as he did so. He moved his hand, the knife tasting air, then flesh. Lucius made a soft hiss, but one of pleasure, not of pain.

\"That\'s the way, Sev...\" Lucius mumbled, chuckling deeply in his throat. Severus returned the chuckle, weakly. It would not take long, for the poison to take effect. He felt Lucius\' hands tightening on his back, nails sliding against skin.

\"Lucius...\"

\"Yes Sev?\"

\"Just...lie still a moment.\" He rested his head against Lucius chest, carefully monitoring the rise and fall of Lucius\' chest, and the beating of his heart. It was slowing. Lucius would begin to feel groggy...

\"That actually sounds a good idea.\" Lucius gave a laugh. \"I find myself tired...perhaps you\'re right, we are old.\"

\"Perhaps.\" Severus looked up, bestowing a rare smile upon Lucius. It was strained, but it was obviously a smile.

\"Mmm. My chest...Severus, my chest feels tight...\" Lucius turned suspicious eyes onto the black haired Slytherin. Severus could not meet those eyes, and that seemed all the answer Lucius needed.

\"And so the rumors are true.\" Lucius scoffed. \"You are a traitor.\"

\"This has nothing to do with politics, Lucius.\" Severus sat up, guilt assuaging him. This was Lucius. His golden god, whom he had loved in his youth. //Not a god. A monster.\"

\"Then what? Surely not over what happened with your lover...\"

\"Not entirely.\" Severus answered. \"What you have done to your son. To Harry. To me. Lord knows who else.\"

\"Don\'t give me that tripe!\" Lucius made a move as to grip Severus, but tensed, his hand going to his heart.

\"It is not tripe Lucius. You have gone beyond the bounds of mental health. I...regret that it had to be done.\"

\"SO serious, Sev. And so dutiful. Bowing and scraping to whatever master you choose to hail to today. Whether it be our lord, that muggle loving fool, or your own damned conscience.\" Another bitter laugh, halting and obviously with some pain. If he had only lain still...\"I suppose, this is to be expected. Rather to die by your hand then any other. Save perhaps my own.\"

\"And so it shall be. Now lie still, and there will be no pain.\"

\"I care not about pain, and you know it. Come. Lay beside me. Give me my last rites, if you\'re so inclined. How long do I have?\"

\"A few more minutes.\" Severus laid a hand on Lucius\' forehead, smoothing back his hair.

\"Send...send for my son.\" Lucius sighed. \"I\'d like him by me.\"

\"Of course.\" Severus nodded, and went to the door. He was well aware they would be waiting outside. \"Draco? Your father would like to see you...\"

\"What?\" Draco was standing across the hall, arms folded. Harry was sitting down, and he rose to his feet when the door opened.

\"It is...nearly don Sev Severus said. Draco nodded, and slipped into the room, pale and silent as a ghost. He walked slowly and stiffly to Lucius side.

\"Draco...\" Lucius reached out to touch his son\'s cheek, but Draco shied away.

\"Say you\'re sorry, Daddy.\" He said, folding his arms. Severus sighed. This was not the time. There would never be a time.

\"Draco!\"

\"Just say you\'re sorry...\"

\"I. Luc Lucius\' fingers brushed Draco\'s cheek and then fell away. \"Have nothing to apologize for...\"

***

There would be a short respite before all hell broke loose. Severus decided to spend it in his room, in his bed, wrapped tightly in Harry\'s arms. He tucked his head beneath Harry\'s chin, not speaking. He waill ill and silent, and Harry stroked his back gently, not speaking either. What could be said? As Lucius had finally slipped from life, Draco had collapsed crying against him, screaming he was sorry, and cursing Snape for what he had done. He had always been a very delicate boy, and prone to mood swings. But done was done, and Severus had few regrets.

\"Do you think...Draco wouldn\'t...?\"

\"Leave it, Harry.\" Severus shook his head. \"It\'s done. It is over. I\'ve no wish to speak of it. Until tomorrow, when I shall be forced to.\"

\"Then we\'ll deal with tomorrow tomorrow.\" Harry said, kissing the top of Severus\' head. \"And the day after, and after that...\"

\"You still refuse to let me go?\"

\"I love you, Severus. I\'m not going to let go tonight, or tomorrow. Now just be quiet and let me hold you, all right? You\'ve been through enough. Like you said, it\'s over for now.\"

\"Yes.\" Severus said, closing his eyes and aligning his body against Harry\'s. What foreboding those words had. But it was now, and now was all that mattered. Tomorrow would be different. Tomorrow there would be summons, and questions, and accusations. But now there was only Harry, and the love Severus had for him. And that was all that really mattered.

\"For now.\"

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And that...is that.

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