Understanding

Special thanks to Shem, the best beta in the world!
Don't own anything. All songs are Evanescence, all HP belongs to JKR.
Understanding
Chapter Fifteen:
Before the Dawn

****Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you
I am nothing more than to see you there
And maybe tonight we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
If only night could hold you where I can see you, my love
And let me never, ever wake again
Then maybe tonight we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn****

And so I slept with Severus that night.

Well, I didn't SLEEP with him.

He kissed me and held me, but he refused to make love to me in Dumbledore's castle. I said fine, let's go out by the lake, but he didn't think that was funny.

The man picks odd times to get all moral.
Nonetheless, after that night I considered Severus my boyfriend. Though boyfriend was an awfully juvenile name for someone like Severus Snape, I had no other way to explain him. He wasn't my lover, "partner" seemed too formal, and I could not for the life of me think of anything else to call him. Severus and I spent every second that Dumbledore was away in each other's company, talking all day long and holding each other as I sang him to sleep every night. It was the single most peaceful period of my life, its memory only sullied by the knowledge that it could only last a week.

The day of the Headmaster's return I left Severus' rooms early in the morning with a promise to return to the music room that night. I spilled some tears, but they were dried quickly as Severus mocked me.

"Oh come now, Miss Granger!" he spat in his most fearsome Professor Snape voice. "Your tears are becoming most annoying."

I sniffled and smiled.

"You know you're a jackass, right?"

"I pride myself on the fact."

"Well, as long as you know."

And with a quick kiss goodbye, I returned to my rooms, bursting to tell Minerva all that had transpired. Upon Dumbledore's return, my life fell back into the pattern that had been established earlier that summer. Days were spent with Minerva (who had apparently made up with Albus. All's well that ends well, eh Minerva?), and nights were spent singing to Severus. The only change was that now Severus would come into the room with me, occasionally even sitting on the piano bench with me. We rarely spoke, and when we did it was never about our relationship, but sometimes I'd find little notes from him hidden in my sheet music. We knew we had to keep our relationship a secret, but we were bound and determined to still have some semblance of a relationship.

As happy as I was with Severus, I was becoming equally furious with Dumbledore. I still could not believe he'd been so closed minded about Severus or that he'd been so psychotically protective of me. I couldn't believe he was so unwilling to believe I had feelings for Severus. And everytime those damn eyes sparkled at me I wanted to pound my fist right between them. Severus warned me to keep my anger in check- that it would only be bad for him and his working conditions if I retaliated . Ienteented for Severus and only for Severus.

Had it been up to me, I would have jacked Dumbledore right in the chin.

But the rest of July hurried by and then August, and soon classes resumed. I knew I would be going home soon, and the thought excited me. Every bit of my life seemed to be coming together; the pieces were slowly being picked up.

That is, until I received the first letter. I rarely received any post, but when I did it was usually a card or note from Tonks or the Weasleys, so I unrolled the parchment with no apprehension. I never would have imagined what I found, though.

My jaw dropped and my stomach sank as I read it, but I calmly (albeit with shaking hands) folded the parchment anid iid inside the heavy tome I was reading- a well-worn hardcover copy of Stephen King's "The Stand." The letter was not signed, but I knew exaclty who it was from.

And I cannot say I was altogether surprised to receive it.

****
The resumption of classes severly cut into my "masturbating to thoughts of Hermione" time. After our week together, all thought of any research had fled from my mind, and everything I did was in some way influenced by Hermione. I thought before I berated students. I tried not to take away excessive points from Gryffindor (God, that was difficult!). God help me, I actually caught myself smiling alone in my room. I began to look at myself in the mirror as I prepared for the day, wanting to look perfect for my...

My...

Erm...

What exactly should I call Hermione?

In any case, I had begun a second journal for her, this one full of sane, happy thoughts. Though I doubt anyone who knew me would consider me sane if I admitted to being happy. My plan was to give her the journal on her birthday, the day she moved home. She had asked me to accompany her, and I had accepted instantly.

I accepted even before she whispered in my ear, "You know, I'll be eighteen, and we'll be nowhere near Dumbledore." She knew what she was doing, and had I not already agreed, it would have sealed the deal as she licked my ear. The girl had a voracious, barely-suppressed sexual appetite, and she had taken to cornering me anytime she found me alone in the corridors. We found broom closets and corners and unused classrooms wherever we could. One day after the start of term, she had backed me into a niche in a dark dungeon hallway in the seconds before my Advanced Potions class was about to begin.

"Hermione, please," I mumbled as she hungrily seached out my lips. "I'm going to be late for my class." She merely shrugged and kissed me wholeheartedly. Breaking away, I held her at arm's length. "You are a naughty girl, and if I were still your professor I would discipline you," I growled low in her ear in an attempt to her her a taste of her own medicine.

"Ooh, discipline me, Professor Snape," purred Hermione, and I was suddenly furious with myself that I'd started the little game.

But God help me, I'd never expected her to respond like that.

"Hermione," I began as she squirmed against me. Instead of stopping, she simply looked up at me, her eyes wide and innocent.

"Yes, Professor?" She licked her lips in a way that would have been considered innocent if I hadn't been able to see the wheels turning in her head. Noticing that I hadn't bought the sweet and innocent act, she gave me a lopsided, wicked grin.

I was done-for.

"Merlin, I can't do this!" And I capitulated, crushing my lio heo hers. I pushed her away immediately. "Go to your rooms. You never know who Dumbledore's got watching."

The weeks before Here's e's birthday sped by and though I was becoming increasingly happy, I deducted more house points over that time than I ever had before. Well, except for the points I'd taken from Potter and Weasley.

And Longbottom.

And that insufferable Abbot girl.

Hermione had been a member of a remarkable class, hadn't she?

And that class had also included the incomparable Draco Malfoy. It was the first day of classes when an owl dropped a letter in front of me. The parchment's complete and utter normalcy made me immediately suspicious, and for a moment I wondered if Hermione had sent it to me. I had warned her not to contact me, but I knew she had been getting antsy as of late to move our relationship forward. Picking up the parchment, I quickly glanced around for any clue of the sender. Hermione was not in attendance; she had chosen to eat in her rooms instead of facing the students she'd known last year. As I unrolled it, I let out a slow breath. I had been expecting this for some time and was actually quite surprised it hadn't come until now.

*The mudblood is important to you, isn't she? My father was important to me. The Dark Lord was important to me. I'm watching you. Fair's fair, Snape.*

To be honest, if I had not started receiving threats from Malfoy, Hermione would never have been able to leave Hogwarts with a clear conscience. The more threats I received (and I received at least one a week), the closer I longed to be to Hermione. I knew Malfoy could not do anything to her while she was on school grounds, but I still longed to protect her. Every night I saw her, I moved further into the room, eventually coming to sit next to her on the bench.

I should have known it was a bad idea. I should have known it would end messily. I should have known because Hermione was hands-down the most frustrated virgin I'd ever come in contact with.

It was her last night in the castle, and she was in a giggly mood, singing some song about coconuts and one she could barely finish she was laughing so hard which began "I like big butts..." We were both excited about the next day,and I suppose we got carried away, for soon she was only playing melody while her left hand began to caress my thigh. Soon my arm was wrapped around her shoulder, and I was nipping at her neck and whispering in her ear. Soon she'd given up all pretense of music, and soom we were making out as furiously as two sixth years who had just discovered the irresistible pull of sex. I was quickly worked up and straddled the piano bench, pulling Hermione on to me. We were kissing each other with all the sloppy ackwardness of teenagers and loving every minute of it.

That is until it happened.

I'm not saying it wasn't a long time coming. I'm not even saying it was not warranted. All I'm saying is he should have waited until my hand left her breast before he startled me.

"SEVERUS SNAPE!"

Hermione cried out in pain. In my panic, I had reflexively clenched my fists, including the one on her breast.

"Headmaster, I... I'm sorry-" I sputtered, though it was hardly convincing while Hermione sat astride me. I nudged her to get her to move. She took the hint but instead of sitting as I expected her to, she stood defiantly, her arms crossed over her chest.

"How dare you! In the castle! Under my nose! How dare you take advantage-"

"ENOUGH!"

Hermione, it seemed, had snapped. Oh, boy. This is going to be good.

"Severus has never taken advantage of me, and he never will! How dare you try to keep us apart! How dare you insinuate that I could never love him! I am an adult, and I do not need to have my decisions made for me!"

Hermione was physically shaking with anger, but Albus continued on as if she hadn't spoken. He didn't even look in her direction.

"You went to her. After I expressly forbade it!"

"She came to me," was all I could muster.

"After you left her at her house? I find that unlikely."

"Well, I did go to him, no matter how unlikely you believe it to be. I thank you, Headmaster, for your hospitality this past summer, but if you will excuse me, I was just about to turn in. If you need me before my departure, I will be in Professor Snape's bed."

And she walked calmly past him without a second glance. It was the first time I can honestly remember seeing Albus Dumbledore dumbstruck. His jaw was actually hanging open, and I wished for a camera. The opportunity to watch a once-in-a-lifetime experience like Dumbledore speechless was enticing, but I strolled past him as nonchalantly as Hermione had. As I approached him, I heard him whisper under his breath.

"The little minx..."

"Aah, yes-" I couldn't resist. "Speaking of felines, if you have any questions you should probably ask the minx- I mean, tabby in your own bed."

With that I left him. After all, there was a beautiful girl waiting in my bed.

*******************A/N******************
Once again, "Baby Got Back" belongs to Sir Mix-A-Lot.

Thank you all so much for the reviews- you rock. As the previous note said, things are sucking at work, so the chapters might be VERY slow coming. Sorry!

Also- read and review my first challenge fic- "Smackdown at Snape Manor" at Lordandladysnape.net. Same pen-name. Review it lots, please!!! It's a judged thing!

Thanks:
Jenny7611: Thank you so much! You rock!

Red Writing Hood: Hope you liked the way Hermione dealt with Dumbledore. Somehow, I felt it better to silehim him with words than with fists. Though I do love throwing fists...

redsugg: Thanks! Hope you liked it!

Sirius Star Holder: Okay, okay! Thanks for the review!

Deb: I'm so glad you liked the songs! They are the reason I began writing this story. Glad someone's reading them and not just skipping over them! As always, you rock harder than I previously believed to be humanly possible!

morgana: Glad you like it, and sorry for the threats, but a girl needs her affirmations, you know! I love your name, BTW!

spaz141: Thanks! Guess you've noticed I kinda get off on making people cry!

deblovesdragon: Thank you, Number One. Think of a superhero name, yet? GrrArrg is going to be in our justice league too. Oh, God, I see an entire series of fics that only we would understand. A comic book maybe?

casi: Thanks! I know you don't like being threatened, but you reviewed, didn't you? =)

Agnes: Je suis desolee parce que je n'ai pas des accents et parce que je n'ai etudie pas le francais pour cinq ans! Mais, si tu ecrit en anglais, je peux ecrire un petit peu en francais! Merci pour les mots tres chere!

msmalcontent: Thanks!

coriander: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like it!

Florentia: Thanks! Glad you liked the songs!

mele: Thanks! Glad to get such a response!

pyewacket: Thanks! I'll keep writing, don't worry. I was just PMSing and feeling fat and unloved. you know the bit... ;)

GrrArrg: Again, no hints on my story 'til I get hints on yours! Yes, smut is coming... Thanks to you =) ooh, that sounded naughty! Just as long as I keep believing you look exaclty like Martine McCutcheon and you believe I am the spitting image of Alison Hannigan... Just in case anyone else is reading... Don;t want any unhealthy images... =)

casi(again): Glad you like my sense of humor. It is,regrettably, the biggest part of my personality. Can't control myself sometimes! The hufflepuff line is one of the favorites I've written!

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