The Hepatic Hex

Chapter 13.

“YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?” Snape bellowed through the dungeons.

“Pee in a cup.” said Hermione with an amused voice and a big smile as she handed him a specimen container.

“No. I will not do it. Snapes do NOT urinate so that people can gawk at the results.” Snape said crossing his arms across his chest and glaring at Hermione with his best classroom scowl. Hermione was unfazed though by this look after the intimacy they had shared earlier and told him as much. Snape tried to intimidate her by employing the same techniques that he used on unruly first year students, like glaring, hissing, stomping, throwing insults and scathing remarks-but to no avail. Hermione wouldn’t budge.

“Severus, if you wont do it voluntarily, I swear I will run up to the Headmaster right now and get him to come down here and put you under ‘Imperious’ so you will be forced to.” Hermione said with finality.

“You wouldn’t dare.” purred Snape dangerously, reaching for his wand. Hermione merely smirked at him and plastered a triumphant look on her face that screamed ‘try me’.

Snape, sized her up and realized that there was nothing that was going to discourage her. Snatching the container from her he mumbled something like ‘Goddamn, know-it-all Gryffindors being the bane of his existence’ and stomped off into his bathroom slamming the door to add drama to his exit.

Snape emerged a short time later wearing the sneer that Hermione had expected.

“Now you have it what are you going to do with it?” He demanded.

“Artemis sent me some special Muggle \'magical\' sticks that I will dip into your sample. I will be able to check for any abnormalities in a minute or so by comparing you stick results against the possible results indicated on the side of the product container. It will show us if there is anything the medical potions have missed…hopefully.” Hermione said showing him the Bayer Multistix packaging.

“You mean you humiliated me by having excrete into a plastic container, and your not even sure if it will tell us anything new?” Snape shrieked.

“Well what do you suggest Mister ‘High and Mighty’? I don’t hear you coming up with any suggestions as to where we go from here.” Hermione spat, rapidly getting pissed at his childish carry on. Snape was taken aback by her out burst and mumbled a hesitant apology before flopping into a chair and deciding that he needed a cup of tea to calm him down. He began the incantation to produce himself a pot, but other than a pale shimmer of light from his wand, nothing materialized.

“Great.” He said out aloud.

“What is it?” Inquired Hermione who calmed down immediately after hearing the tone in his voice. She turned from the bench in the lab where she had just completed the test on his ursampsample to look at him.

“Nothing really. I’m just so tired and physically weak from the past few days that I can’t even conjure up a pot of tea.” He admitted dejectedly.

“Here, let me do it for you” said Hermione and with a few waves of her wand, a few more then usual she noted to herself, she produced a steaming pot of Earl Grey. Snape thanked her as she sat down opposite him and poured each of them a cup.

“Do you have the results yet?” He asked after a moment.

“Yes.” Hermione sighed. “And I am afraid that they are all normal. I just don’t understand what is going on,” she said in tone that echoed her exhaustion.

“Maybe you should tell me what exactly these tests look at so I have an idea of where we are. I mean apart from the fact that we are back to the beginning.” Snape offered.

“All right” Hermione said trying to sound enthusiastic at the thought of lecturing again. “These \'magical\' sticks measure 13 different compounds that are present in our urine. Some are always there; some are only there when we are suffering from an illness. Cin cin compounds in specific combination indicate what the illness may be. This brand of stick measures levels of creatinine, albumin, human chorionic gonadotropin or hGC, glucose, bilirubin, ketone, specific gravity, blood, pH, protein, urobilinogen, nitrate and leucocytes. I suppose you would like me to explain each of these for you Severus?”

“Would you mind terribly?” Snape said with innocent eyes.

Hermione scoffed. “Of course not, just because it is 7:00 in the evening, which means we have been working for 9 hours straight, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t delight in imparting the knowledge I have obtained from Artemis’ notes to you. I mean I know that it must be painfully difficult to bring yourself to read them independently.”

“Ahh… have you finished with your little tantrum?” Snape enquired amused by her outburst. Hermione shot him a glare before continuing.

“Creatinine is a nitrogenous waste product of protein and nucleic acid metabolism. Albumin is the most abundant plasma protein and it is concerned with the movement of water between the fluid compartments .hGC is a hormone secreated by the trophoblast layer and later the chorion which develop into the placenta and outer membrane surrounding a fetus respectively. hCG forms the basis of pregnancy tests for this reason, and hopefully explains where ere was no trace in your sample.” Hermione paused at his raised eyebrow and chuckle before contig.
g.

”Glucose is produced in the body for the energy needs of cells by the digestion of complex carbohydrates and presence in the urine can indicate diabetes mellitus as well as other conditions. Bilirubin is a red bile tincture colored by the iron laden pigment of haemoglobin and is derived from the breakdown of red cells. Ketone is an organic compound that in small amounts can be used as metabolic fuel. Specific gravity is the density of a fluid compared with that of an equal amount of water. It depends on the quantity of solids dissolved in a fluid. Blood, well I think that is pretty self-explanatory and the pH levels of urine indicate whether it is acidic or neutral or alkaline. Protein is a complex nitrogenous organic compound formed from amino acids. It is vital to all living organisms as it is needed for cell division, growth and repair and to form more functional proteins like enzymes, hormones and haemoglobin.” Hermione paused and sighed.

“You know I really don’t see the point in all of this Severus.” Hermione said.

“Please humor an old man, if for no other reason than because I am enchanted by your voice.” Said Snape seductively. Hermione looked at him intensely at his request. ‘What the bloody hell is he playing at now?’ She thought to herself.

Hermione sighed again. “Fine. Urobilinogen is a microbial action in the bowel that converts bilirubin to the pigment stercobilinogen. Levels detected in urine decrease in obstructive jaundice and increase in liver disease and haemolysis.
Nitrate is a salt and finally leucocytes are white blood cells.” Hermione finished.

A moment of silence passed between the two.

“I told you that it wouldn’t give us any new ideas from the beginning Severus.”

“I know and I knew it was pointless from the beginning.” He replied with a mischievous grin on his face.

“Then why in Merlin’s name did you make me go through it all knowing how exhausted I was?” Hermione demanded.

“To get you back for making me pee in a cup.” Snape said shrugging his shoulders before breaking out in his deep baritone laugh again at the pure look of rage in Hermione’s face. Hermione though, only contained herself for a moment before launching herself from her chair and jumping on Snape. Her action was so violent it caught him off guard and as a result the chair he was sitting in toppled over taking the two of them with it. After a short struggle, Snape was able to overpower Hermoine and flip her onto her back. Grabbing her wrists he pinned them on the floor above her head and stilled the remainder of her body by settling his weight on her.

“What are you going to do now Miss Granger?” Snape asked seductively while looking deeply into her eyes. Before she could respond however, her kissed her with a bruising force. Hermione didn’t counter at first, still angered by his little game. Gradually though, the feel of his weight on her, the intoxicating arousal she was enveloped in from his heady scent of spices and the passion he was releasing on her mouth, caused the rage she was feeling to slowly ebb away and she found herself quickly returning his kiss with an equal quantity of enthusiasm and more confidence than she would ever have believed she possessed.

Snape gradually let go of her wrists when he was confident that she wouldn’t try and push him away. He slowly let his hands run down her body while Hermione took full advantage of her hands also being free and brought them down, tangling them into his hairSilkSilky. His hair is silky not greasy’~ Hermione thought as Snapes hands continued their painfully slow journey down her body. He reached the hitched up hem of her robes and began to caress the silky smooth skin on her well-shaped legs, which earned him a raspy groan into his mouth from Hermione.

Snape slipped his hand under Hermione’s right knee and lifted it around his waist where she firmly locked it onto his back. Hermione’s own hands moved from Snapes hair, to his back, where she began to trace small circular patterns as she unconsciously began grinding her hips against his. She was rewarded when he moaned into her mouth and pushed himself harder against her. They were both completely lost in their lust for one another that neither noticed the first knock on Snape’s chamber door. Neither did they notice the second nor the third a moment later. They did not notice the white-haired wizard silently walk through Snapes office into his sitting room where they lay sprawled out on the floor locked in each other’s arms. They did notice however, when he cleared his throat to announce his presence.

Hermione would have jumped had she not been pinned down. She tossed her head sideways to lock eyes with the Headmaster and her face turned white with fear. Snape on the other hand was much more composed and after looking at the Headmaster then back to Hermione, simply said to her “My dear, I do believe we have been busted.”