Jaded

For Summery, warnings, spoilers and disclaimers see chapter one.


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Chapter Fourteen: My zero to your power of ten equals nothing at all

(Title from ‘One White Duck / 0(10) Nothing At All’ by Jethro Tull, album- Minstrel in the Gallery)

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“Oh, for the love of Merlin, Sirius, why didn’t you just go with James?” Remus moaned pitifully and sat up. Harry, who was trapped under his boyfriend’s body tried to straightened his form and sit up without looking to ashamed. They were trying to have a little snogging session on the sofa in the common room taking full advantage of the fact that for once the tower was empty. Well, almost empty… from some reason Sirius Black decided to stay behind rather than go with James as he usually did and that meant that once again Harry and Remus could not make the full usage of their dorm room and common room as they so anticipated.

It was true that Sirius had no fundamental problem with the two of them together, the thing was- with the emptying of the castle for the Christmas holidays it meant that most girls left to go home as well and Sirius was left rather entertainment-less, until he found the potential of interrupting every romantic encounter between his friends, under the simple justification that if he wasn’t having any fun than no one should either. It’s been three days since the rest of the school left and already both Harry and Remus were ready to toss Sirius out of the tower window.

“Come on guys, it’s so beautiful outside, we should go and have a snow fight.” Sirius tried to cajole the two into it, knowing full well that this might very well be his defeat, as they were more than likely to gang up against him, but Sirius was bored and a bored Sirius was more dangerous than a transforming werewolf.

“I hate snow,” Remus grumbled, “And right now, I hate you too.” Sirius flashed him a brilliant smile, completely unfazed by the coldness of tone Remus used. “Tell me again why you didn’t go to James’ this Christmas?” Remus sighed, cursing James for not dragging Sirius with him,

“Because,” Sirius began in an exasperated voice, “James decided he’s going to visit with Lily’s parents. Poor Prongs, stuck half the holiday with muggles…” Sirius giggled and Remus nodded in sympathy, if there was one thing James excelled at it was making a fool of himself. And being a pure-blood amongst muggles was a sure recipe for hours and hours of fun at James’ expanse.

“Still you could have gone and stayed with his parents. They’d loved to have you there no matter what.” Remus objected. Harry stifled a smile, Remus was acting as if Sirius could actually still do something about the matter, but he figured that every excuse to spend time alone with Remus was worth it. “You can also go to Grimauld. It’s empty for the hols; your family went to France.”

“How do you know that?” Sirius questioned suspiciously, this wasn’t like Remus to know what was going on in the Black household. Even Sirius didn’t know where his parents spent their holidays nowadays. After he left home at the age of 16 he never looked back and truth be told, he never wanted to. It was by far enough that he had to see Regulus in the halls and during meals.

“Reg.” Remus answered simply.

“Since when are you and my brother so chummy with each other?” Sirius barked, feeling completely miffed that things were happening behind his back.

“He and Alex are an item and Alex is best friends with Jaime.” Remus explained simply and Harry nearly smacked him in the head. Why don’t you just hang a sign on us saying ‘Come and kill us’ you daft wolf! He thought furiously but didn’t get a chance to say it out loud because the heavy breathing, red faced Sirius beat him to it,

“WHAT? My brother in not gay!” He bellowed and Remus chuckled, but before he could comment Harry pinched him hard on the arm to silence him,

“Hey, Pads, listen I’ve been thinking- why don’t you teach me how to turn into an animagus?” Harry tried desperately to stir the conversation away from anything that would frame him. Not that it made much difference what Sirius thought of his brother but if he’ll learn that Harry and Remus helped bring him and Draco together there was no telling what Sirius might do to them.

Besides, it wasn’t a lie or anything, because Harry did want to learn to transform, to be with Remus more than anything, but Remus wasn’t exactly the man to help him, since he never transformed to his animagi form voluntarily.

“Really? Of course I’ll teach you!” Sirius jumped on the opportunity to have something to do, and besides, it wasn’t like he really cared about Regulus’ sexuality… “It’s going to be brilliant!” Remus shot Harry an accusatory glare and Harry shrugged, it was your fault, you opened you big mouth! “Let’s start now!”

Before Harry had time to protest Sirius dragged him by the arm to the middle of the common room where he cleared a space by pushing the furniture back with a spell. Remus followed them, looking rather bored. If it was up to him, he’d send Sirius to butt heads with Alex so that he could have a couple of minutes alone with Jaime but so far Jaime proved to be much more Gryffindor than most of the house members and Remus just knew that if Sirius was out for blood Jaime would go after him to stop him. So he simply sighed in registration and leaned against the sofa’s back, watching the other two.

“Alright, first of all, a little theory, I know this is the professor area,” Sirius chuckled as he ducked from the slap Remus was aiming at his head, “but we have to go through it. Briefly. There are two major types of magic, one that is outside and one that is in. The outside magic is the one you perform with your wand, it still comes from within you because otherwise you’d be a muggle waving a stick but you still need the wand to function as a conductor to your magic. The other type of magic, the inside one, is a lot harder to tap into and a lot of witches and wizards just don’t bother with it.” Harry looked at Remus with an amused expression and the latter returned it with a shrug. Apparently Remus wasn’t the only ‘professor’ around. Unfortunately Sirius caught the little exchanged look; he crossed his arms over his chest with a huff.

“Anyway! What you need in order to become an animagus is to dig deep inside you and find your inner animal, in your case a wolf.” Sirius said with a generous gesture to draw the attention back to himself. “Close your eyes, picture your animagus form and when you see it reach for it, with your mind.” He instructed and Harry nodded, trying to figure out how he’s going to act on these vague instructions.

“Think of it as a form of Occlumency, you need to control your thoughts and be able to wonder inside your own mind freely.” Remus supplied helpfully. Harry nodded and closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind and ignore the stares he was getting from Sirius and Remus. He tried to clear his head as best as he could bringing forward the image of the wolf and then tried to mentally touch him, only to have the illusive form slip between his mind’s fingers each time.

“Jaime, Jaime, come back.” Harry opened his eyes startled and found himself wrapped securely in Remus’ arms, panting and sweating. He straightened himself up on his own feet and rested his head on Remus’ shoulder,

“Did something happen?” He asked hoarsely and Sirius shook his head sadly,

“Nope, you just fell forward and Moony caught you.” Remus ran his hand comfortingly up and down Harry’s back,

“Don’t worry, it was a good first effort, you’ll just have to try again.” He assured Harry. Harry at the moment didn’t really feel too worried about animagi forms, not when Remus’ hands were travelling his back so deliciously.

“Right! Let’s have another go.” Sirius cried out excitedly and Harry gulped a little. Damn. Three seconds and he already forgot about Sirius… He detached himself from Remus’ arms reluctantly and walked to the centre of the room again.

For the next hour he tried again and again to reach the wolf and each time found himself bereft. Harry slumped to the floor tiredly, taking off his glasses and rubbing his sore eyes,

“It’s not working. I guess I’m just never going to be an animagus…” He lamented softly. Remus crouched next to him and Harry burrowed into his hug,

“No you’re not; you just need to practice more.” He said reassuringly and Harry lifted his eyes hopefully to him,

“Jaime!” Sirius snapped and Harry nearly jumped up, “Describe your wolf to me.” Harry looked at him puzzled,

“What?”

“Describe your animagus wolf to me.” Sirius repeated and crossed his arms over his chest. Harry frowned for a moment before answering,

“Hmm, he’s grey, well brownish grey with golden eyes…” He said uncertainly and Sirius slapped his own forehead with exasperation,

“You utter twit! You can’t try and morph into someone else’s animagus!” He cried and Harry opened his mouth to protest, “Show me your animagus form again.” Sirius demanded and Harry complied with a pout at being called a twit. The image of the wolf morphed before them and Sirius walked closer before he dropped to his knees,

“You see, your wolf is much darker than Remus’ and it has green eyes… Why would your wolf have green eyes?” Harry tried to shrug it off as not knowing so Sirius would drop it.

“You mean he’s been trying to tap into my wolf?” Remus asked in an amused voice and Sirius nodded grimly. Remus turned to the blushing Harry and hugged him tighter, “This is the nicest thing anyone tried to do for me…” He mumbled into Harry’s hair, causing the other teen to blush even harder.

“Alright, that’s enough you two, there are other people about!” Sirius complained loudly, rising to his feet and trying to put some distance between him and the cuddling couple on the floor,

“Try it again, and this time try to think of your own wolf.” He instructed and Harry reluctantly let go of Remus. The two of them stood up and Remus retreated back to his place by the sofa while Harry closed his eyes and tried to focus on the dark-grey, green-eyed wolf.

“Oh, bloody hell.” He heard the soft whispering and opened his eyes, looking puzzled at Sirius,

“What? What happened?” He asked anxiously when he saw the shining eyes of his friends,

“You were glowing, this bloody works! Try again!” Sirius demanded and Harry tried to smile while swaying on the spot with fatigue,

“Sirius, I think he had enough for one day, we’ll continue tomorrow.” Remus interjected softly, and Harry smiled at him in thanks,

“Yeah, well, no wonder he’s done, if he would have focused on his own wolf from the start we’d be miles ahead of ourselves by now.” Sirius muttered to himself and Harry tossed him a furious glare. “Tomorrow, ten a.m. here.” Sirius said before he stepped out of portrait hole, leaving the young couple to their own devises.

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“Come on Jaime; just tell me where we’re going…” Remus pleaded, but Harry wouldn’t relent, and kept leading his wolf blindfolded and stumbling through the corridors. Remus tried to be excited about this little adventure, he really was but the fact that on top of it being the full moon it was Christmas day was making him feel completely deprived. It was simply not fair. In fact his bad mood started pretty soon after the holidays did but he managed to keep it under wraps at the sight of Jaime’s excited face whenever he practiced his animagus form but today was just too much for him to keep on a cheery façade and Jaime bloody well knew it and still he was playing games.

“Stand here for a second.” Harry instructed and Remus crossed his arms over his chest to indicate his displeasure.

“Come on Jaime, this isn’t funny…” He grumbled and a second later he felt Harry’s hands on his arms, “Can I open my eyes now?”

“Nope.” Remus was about to defy the order and be done with things but something in Jaime’s voice stopped him and he obediently let the other boy lead him. “Now you can open your eyes.” Harry’s voice was soft coming from behind Remus’ shoulder. Remus ripped the cloth from his face and opened his eyes gingerly looking around him, his jaw dropping in astonishment, “You like it?”

“I… Oh, Merlin…” Remus breathed out as he took in the look of the Room of Requirements, “Is that for me?” He asked hoarsely, feeling his bad mood dissipating away, Harry wrapped his arms around his wolf’s waist and placed his chin on Remus’ shoulder, smiling broadly,

“Yes.” Remus’ eyes roamed around trying to take every detail in. The place looked amazing, no it was beyond amazing it was… flabbergasting, formidable.

The Room of Requirements looked nothing like a room anymore. Instead it was a forest clearing, beautiful and serene bathing in last rays of sunset. The grass was soft and springy and the trees in the outskirts of the clearing looked strong and old. In the middle of the clearing was a rock-pool. A beautiful basin full of bubbly water and inviting steam rising from it, the air was warm and fragrant and made Remus forget all about the winter that was biting harshly outside.

“The water is full of aromatherapy oils meant to sooth and relax. I named it ‘Remus bath’ so if you ever feel like coming here for a bit of a soak this is what you’d need to think of.” Harry explained, feeling a tad nervous by the fact that Remus still hasn’t said a word. He knew that if Remus didn’t do anything soon he’d panic and start to babble like an idiot, which would make things so much worse so he turned the stunned teen in his arms and pressed their lips together. Remus returned the kiss with vigour, trying to let it talk for his word-bereft mind.

“Why don’t we continue this in the water?” He breathed when they parted and started unbuttoning Harry’s shirt. Harry smiled widely and slid his hands under Remus’ blue sweater to lift it up. They fumbled with their clothes for a while before they managed to get each other naked. Remus grabbed Harry’s hand and led him towards the edge of the little pool. Harry could feel his skin tingling with anticipation, wanting nothing more than to be immersed in the fragrant tub with his lover.

Remus was the first in, shuddering when his skin came into contact with the hot water. The basin wasn’t very deep and the water didn’t even reach his waist when he was standing up. He slowly sank down and sat on a little ledge of rock that was forming from the side of the pool, and spread his arms wide on the rocky edge, enjoying the little jet streams of bubbles that were engulfing his body like thousands of little kisses on his skin.

He sighed deep and closed his eyes in bliss, yes; this was something that would be quite easy for him to get used to. He opened his eyes after a while to look at his lovely boyfriend standing naked on the edge of the tub, looking hungrily at him. On any other day of the month Remus would probably duck under the water with beet red face at the sight of such undiluted lust but the wolf in him was strong and he knew what he wanted,

“Are you going to stay there for long?” He growled and Harry smiled, slipping into the pool gracefully and walking towards Remus, his eyes never leaving the golden orbs. When he closed the short distance between them Harry dipped down to straddle Remus’ hips, feeling the bubbles dancing on his skin and loving every second of it. They kissed for a long while, just enjoying the feel of the bubbles on their skins before Remus wrapped his arms around the slim waist of the boy on top of him and rose on his feet, turning around and placing Harry on the ledge of the rock-pool.

A quick thought formed a small pot of lubricant next to Harry’s thigh and Remus wasted no time in preparing the other teen. He placed his hand on Harry’s chest and pushed him backward, until he lay sprawled on the soft grass, his body supple and waiting. Remus hitched Harry’s legs around his waist and let the head of his cock tease Harry’s eager entrance, causing the boy to arch and moan with need, but Remus did not push further. Harry opened his eyes in frustration, wondering what it was that caused Remus to stop so close before heaven and met the feral golden eyes fixed on him,

“Say it.” Harry frowned at his boyfriend and his hand sneaked towards his aching cock to create some much needed friction only to have it slapped away by the growling wolf. Remus brushed the head of his cock against Harry’s entrance again and repeated his words, “Say it!”

“Say what?” Harry was trying to understand what was going around him, while his entire being was screaming for release, but Remus wouldn’t let him have any,

“You know what. Say. It.” Harry closed his eyes and spread his arms and his body to his tormentor,

“I love you.” He whispered,

“Louder!”

“I LOVE YOU!” Harry nearly screamed and the last word turned into a deep moan as Remus slammed into him, hard.

“Again.”

“I love you.”

Another hard slam that was bruising his prostate and sanding shockwaves through Harry's body, and gods did he want more of that,

“I love you.”

He practically sobbed, desperate to feel his lover inside him, as far as Remus could go, words didn't really matter anymore and right now he'd tell Remus anything he wanted to hear just to be fucked so thoroughly.

“I… lo…Oh, gods yes!” By now Harry was babbling and he didn’t even know what he was saying anymore, he could hear his own voice and Remus’ growls and moans but nothing made sense anymore. He arched his back high when he felt Remus’ long fingers close on his erection and working him at the same brutal rhythm he was working his prostate. He felt himself exploding between them, coming hard and long, before his abused arse was flooded with Remus’ essence. He felt his lover collapse next to him, sliding softly from his sensitive channel and into the water again.

The two took their time coming down from their orgasmic height, Remus was still immersed in the hot water, letting the bubbles and oils sooth his aching muscles while Harry stayed where he was, legs in the water and laying on the grass, trying to make sense of the world around him.

“I have to go.” Remus’ voice was the first coherent thing that entered Harry’s brain and he slowly rose to a sitting position. He nodded and pulled Remus to him, placing a soft kiss on the other boy’s lips before Remus reluctantly climbed out of the pool and went in search of his clothes. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked before he opened the door and Harry nodded again.

After the door was closed behind Remus’ back, Harry still sat there, watching the bubbles playing around his flexing toes and wondering sadly if he’ll ever hear those words spoken back at him.


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A/N: Random phrases that come to mind…

-My boyfriend’s a Bitch.

-It’s your own damn fault for listening to your mother…

-Get over yourself and find someone who isn’t screwed seven ways to Sunday!

-Grrr.

Take your pick. Or just tell me who you think would say each sentence…