The Burden of Memory

Authors Note: Many thanks go to my beta for this chapter and next, Shannon! I'm attached to my team awesome!

Chapter 14

Harry stirred to the sound of snickering.

His eyes flicked open and he looked around the room, finally resting on the slight form of his cousin Lara in the doorway. She had a broad smile across her face and was trying to suppress more laughter. Harry frowned, unsure of what was so funny. Nothing could possibly be that funny so early in the morning.

“You two are so adorable,” she cooed, and Harry blushed furiously as he realized the compromising position Lara had caught them in.

Draco was wrapped comfortably around Harry’s torso, his head resting on Harry’s chest, and Harry had his hands wrapped tightly around the Slytherin boy cuddled against him.

“I’m going to have to lecture your father on not teaching you how to knock,” Harry groaned, elated that Lara wasn’t taking the sight as badly as she potentially could.

“Oh, I see. Did you want some alone time with my fiancé, Harry?” she teased.

Harry rolled his eyes and tried to pry himself out from under Draco’s warm body, only Draco kept holding tighter, cuddling back against him.

“So this is your evil murderer,” she joked, gesturing toward Draco’s angelic face.

“I know he doesn’t look so bad now, but trust me,” Harry groaned, still unable to extricate himself from Draco’s arms.

“What’s he going to do, snuggle me to death?” she teased.

“Very funny. Can I have a hand here?” he asked and Lara came over to help lift Draco from Harry’s body.

“Five more minutes,” Draco mumbled in his sleep causing the other two to snicker softly.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you have a crush on my fiancé, Harry,” she laughed.

Harry paled and looked away, pretending to adjust his pajama bottoms. “I’m going to take a shower. Would you maybe start some tea?”

“Sure,” she replied, slightly less mirthful than before.

Harry pretended not to notice it and shut the bathroom door behind him, hoping Lara would leave his room promptly instead of snoop around and find out about Harry’s sexuality the same way Draco had.

--

Draco felt soft kisses being pressed into his cheek and he grinned. “Harry?” he sighed in question.

“Does Harry usually kiss you awake,” a voice asked, that was certainly not Harry’s and didn’t sound even the slightest bit amused.

Draco opened his eyes and narrowed them. “Lara? What are you doing here?” he asked, pulling himself upright.

“Trying to figure out what’s going on,” she replied curtly.

“Nothing’s going on, where’s Harry?” he asked, feeling suddenly nervous.

“Why were you so pleased by the idea of Harry kissing you?” Lara demanded.

“Who said I was pleased? I was just dreaming,” Draco lied.

“About Harry?” she asked with a scowl.

“Not like that, and so what? I’m allowed to dream about whomever I want,” he huffed, pulling himself from the bed and padding out to the kitchen. He didn’t want to fight with her, but he wasn’t going to keep lying to her either.

“Actually, no, you can’t. You’re marrying me, Draco. You shouldn’t be dreaming about anyone else,” she yelled, obviously hurt and angry.

“As if I can help who I dream about?” Draco growled. “And maybe we shouldn’t get married, you barely know me.” He wasn’t sure why he said it, but the words just came tumbling out. All he could think of was Harry and touching his body and talking to him and just being close, and once he thought of the possibilities with Harry he could no longer fathom a relationship with Lara. It wasn’t fair to anyone to keep this going any longer.

Lara’s mouth fell open and tears welled in her eyes. “I thought you cared about me,” she whispered, trying to stifle the sobs that were nearly choking her.

“I do, but maybe we should just think about things,” Draco reasoned.

Lara paused, speechless and dumbfounded before bolting quickly out the door. Draco stood in the kitchen and leaned against the icebox, willing his head to stop throbbing and his stomach to stop churning.

“Where’s Lara?” Harry asked from the doorway.

“Left,” Draco said.

“For how long?” Harry asked, watching Draco’s face curiously.

“A long time I imagine,” he replied, not meeting Harry’s eyes.

It seemed he knew instantly what Draco meant. “You didn’t?” Harry asked, but Draco just nodded. “Why? I thought we talked about this?”

“She didn’t leave me much of a choice. She was kissing me in my sleep and I thought it was you, hoped it was you,” Draco groaned, sliding down the icebox to land on the floor, his head in his hands.

“Shit,” Harry muttered, before joining him on the floor.

Draco looked over, giving Harry what he hoped were apologetic eyes. “Did you mean what you said last night? That even if I leave her, you won’t date me?”

“I meant it, Draco. I can’t, it’s too soon, and she’ll already be livid with me,” Harry groaned.

“So then what’s it matter if she’s a little more livid with you?” he asked with a charming grin.

Harry chuckled and ran his thumb along Draco’s lips. “She’s the only family I have,” Harry whispered. “And you won’t have any either if we do this. Your parents would disown you in a heartbeat.”

Draco shrugged and flicked out his tongue, running it the length of Harry’s finger. “Maybe you should be my family, and I should be yours,” he replied at last.

“Maybe we should just wait and see how much you hate me when you get your memory back,” Harry countered, his eyelids fluttering at Draco’s touch.

“Maybe we should start with whichever memory you seem to think will turn me away from you,” Draco offered, sucking gently on Harry’s finger.

“I would be happy to do so, if I knew which memory that was. I have no real idea why you hated me so much aside from the fact that we were in different houses and on opposite sides of the war,” Harry mused.

“That’s probably because I didn’t hate you,” Draco replied easily. “I remember being really hurt by the way you rejected me right off that first day. I can’t remember hatred though. Even with the one you mentioned last night, when I tried to use an unforgivable on you… I never really wanted to hurt you; I was only scared that you were going to tease me for crying in the bathroom.”

“I wouldn’t,” Harry corrected, shaking his head in dismay.

“I know that now, but the old Draco didn’t,” he replied, looking a bit sullen.

Harry looked at him and ran his thumb over Draco’s face again, trailing it over his cheek and threading his fingers through his silky blonde hair, and then pulling him into a soft and gentle kiss. It was magical, the way Harry felt, the way he tasted and a shiver ran through him. He laced his fingers through Harry’s raven locks and pulled him closer, never wanting to let go.

Out of everything Draco discovered since waking up in the hospital, these moments he spent with Harry were the only things that felt right.

When Harry pulled away it was like someone sucking the air from his lungs and it took Draco a moment to recover. “I’m not ruling this out, I’m not even sure I could if I wanted to at this point. But I can’t do this with you right now. I need to make amends with Lara before I can even think about us,” he said.

Draco nodded, temporarily content that Harry was even using the word ‘us’. He saw the reason to the boy’s decision he just didn’t like it.

They got up, and Harry made tea while Draco showered. He let the hot water trail over his skin, letting it wash away the villainy he felt at being so rude to Lara. It would all be worth it though, he thought, if he could walk away with Harry in the end.

He didn’t know what it was, but something about the boy drove him crazy and made his whole world do flip-flops in time with his stomach.

When Draco emerged from the shower he found Hermione and Ron sitting on the sofa across from Harry. “You might want to give her some time, mate,” Harry was warning Ron, who looked like he was about to leap up to go comfort Lara.

When his blue eyes settled on Draco, he looked murderous. “How could you do that to her?” Ron howled, closing the space between him and the Slytherin with a few short steps.

Draco put his hands up in defense, trying to ward off the red head. “I thought you of all people would be pleased.”

“You hurt her,” Ron growled.

“No matter how I broke it off she would have been hurt, Ron,” Draco said.

He didn’t know if it was the words, or the fact that he called his supposed rival by his given name, but Ron looked shocked and then relaxed slightly and went to sit beside Hermione again.

“So I brought these floo records,” Hermione interrupted, handing out a stack of parchments to each of them. Draco sat across from her and rubbed the length of his leg against Harry’s as he did. A slow smile inched across Harry’s face as he took his stack from Hermione.

“These will show us everyone in contact with the Malfoy Manor via floo for the month before and after Malfoy’s disappearance,” she stated calmly. “I thought we could look through them and see if anything stood out as suspicious.”

“Good idea Hermione,” Harry said with a nod and began flipping through the parchments, one by one.

--

Research was never his forte, and even less so when he had other things he would rather be doing, which was always. But even more so now.

Ron looked around at his friends and Malfoy, all seemingly absorbed in the task and he let his mind wander to Lara and what he still considered their first date.

When he took her for ice cream, she had been the loveliest thing, wearing a little baby blue sundress, her hair falling in soft red curls and her eyes, how they glittered like jewels in the sun.

She ordered chocolate, and Ron ordered the same. He had been so embarrassed when Lara reached over, giggling, and wiped some of the dessert from his lips with her thumb. He hadn’t known what he was thinking, or even if he was thinking, but he kissed her.

He leaned in and pressed his chocolaty lips to hers and kissed her.

What surprised him most though, was that she kissed back. It was short and sweet and the moment they broke apart they were both blushing crimson. Then her face fell and she started backing away.

“I can’t Ron. I’m so sorry. You’re such a sweet guy, and that was wonderful, but I’m engaged. This is wrong,” she cried, looking torn and distraught.

“He’s no good for you, Lara,” he tried convincing her, but she only shook her head.

“Could you please take me home?” she asked quietly, and he could only nod and lead her from the quiet park where they had been sitting.

He quietly berated himself the whole way back for ruining things. Then when she called him a friend later that night all hopes went out the window that he would ever see her again.

Then a day or so later Harry’s owl tapped on his window and Ron went to see what his friend had written him, but found the note was from Lara instead. She said what happened couldn’t happen again, but that she still wanted to be friends and Ron was eager to take what he could get.

So they hung out several times, Ron even met her father when he had lunch with her one afternoon at the hospital. They always had a good time, laughing and teasing one another, and Ron secretly hoped things would change between them now that Malfoy broke it off with her.

“Merlin, you can cut the sexual tension with a knife,” Hermione muttered, pulling Ron from his thoughts.

Ron looked over at her, completely baffled. “I’m not interested in you anymore, Mione, I’m sorry but-“ Ron began to protest, but Hermione only rolled her eyes and pointed to Harry and Draco.

“Not you and me, Ronald, them,” she hissed quietly.

Ron gaped, eyes wide, and watched the two for a moment as they looked over the parchments. They weren’t looking over their own individual documents, but rather sharing. Their hands grazed over one another’s lightly as they turned a page, and occasionally one of them would snicker or blush at something the other whispered.

Ron paled, completely horrified. “You don’t mean… no, it couldn’t be… impossible… he’s Malfoy,” Ron whispered at last, finally drawing the attention of the other two boys.

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Ronald, honestly, sometimes you are so naïve.”

“Harry? It’s not true is it?” Ron pleaded in whimpering tones.

“What?” Harry asked, looking perplexed.

“You never looked at my bum or anything did you mate?” he asked, looking paler and paler by the moment.

Harry frowned. “No, what are you talking- Hermione?” he shouted as everything seemed to click into place. “What in Merlin’s name did you say to Ron?” he demanded.

Hermione waved him off with a shrug. “I was just speculating, and he took it all out of context,” she said.

Ron sighed. “So Harry’s not with Malfoy,” he said with relief.

“No, I’m not,” Harry agreed, shooting an odd glace over to Malfoy.

“But he wants to be,” Hermione added with a smirk, to which Harry said nothing and glared at her petulantly.

“You… you can’t mean it,” Ron stammered. “I mean, he’s Malfoy, and he’s a boy,” he added.

“I’ve noticed that, Ron,” Harry replied.

“But you still… I don’t understand.” Ron mumbled, shaking his head. “Harry, are you gay?” he finally asked, still gaping.

“He doesn’t know?” Draco asked Harry, and Harry shook his head.

“Malfoy knows and you didn’t tell me?” Ron demanded.

“I didn’t tell Draco,” Harry replied.

“So it’s Draco now?” Ron yelled.

Harry rolled his eyes. “You can call him whatever you want, but yes, to me he’s Draco, but no we’re not together,” he huffed.

Ron took a deep breath and let it out slowly, calming his temper. “Well, so long as you’re not dating Malfoy,” he sighed.

“Not yet,” Draco corrected.

“What?” Ron yelled.

“If I get my way, he’ll be dating me very soon,” Draco replied, ignoring the scolding look from Harry’s direction.

Hermione snickered and sat back, captivated by the show.

“Oh, no he won’t,” Ron shouted. “Our Harry doesn’t date death eaters,”

“Well, I’m not a death eater, and soon enough your Harry will be my Harry,” Draco added with a wink.

“If you have no memory, how come you seem to recall the best way to be a sniveling ferret?” Ron taunted.

“I just remember that a Malfoy always gets what they want, and I want Harry,” he replied.

“Stop calling him that!” Ron shouted, his face turning a vibrant red to match his hair.

“Ron, Draco, that’s enough,” Harry boomed, his power wafting through the room like air that had gone too thick with fog.

“Ron, I’m gay and you’re just going to have to come to terms with that, and if I choose to date Draco, you’ll have to deal with that too. I understand if you need a little time,” Harry said softly, but clearly.

“And you,” he said, rounding angrily on Draco. “I won’t be dating the arrogant trouble making Malfoy, are we clear?” he asked, and Draco nodded reluctantly, a small smile still playing on his lips.

Harry nodded curtly and stormed back to his room, turning around to glare at Hermione. “Don’t think I forgot about you either. You’re one more instigation away from being banned from my flat, Hermione,” he shouted before slamming the door.

Ron huffed and paced the living room before leaving the flat to visit Lara. He had been accosted with too much information, but the only good thing that had come from it, was that he was certain that Lara and Malfoy would not be getting back together.

Authors Note: lets see how many cheers I get for Lara's short departure...