At the Shore of The Heart

Severus surveyed his house slowly and lifted a small stack of books, placing them into a half-full cardboard box. Almost everything he needed was packed, and anything he didn’t need was going into storage in the attic.



A House-Elf shuffled into the room, his small ears pointing straight upwards, his eyes beady as he stared up at Severus.



‘Is you ready to leave, Master?’ he said quietly.



‘I believe so, Gregor. You may take the rest of my things. And inform the Headmistress I shall be there shortly. There is something I need to do first,’ he looked at the elf coolly. Gregor bowed deeply and shuffled back out of the room. Severus could hear the slight popping of his things being apparated away, and felt the tingle of elf magic for the first time in many, many years.



Severus took a last look around his sitting room, then lifted his wedding photograph and placed it inside his robes.



He left the house through the front door and didn’t look back. When he reached the Apparition point, he took a breath, and then disappeared.





******



Severus walked up the path to Lucy’s grave, sidestepping the puddles and walking quickly to avoid getting soaked by the downpour that had started as he left the house. He had protected the roses this time, and the small card fastened to them, which read simply, ‘all my love’. He approached Lucy with haste. He had no desire to be reminded of this day, and had planned his move to Hogwarts purposely so that he would be distracted.



Bending his knee slowly, Severus laid his flowers reverently on the mossy grass-covered mound. He stared for a short moment at the headstone, tracing Lucy’s name with his eyes slowly. It was unfathomable to him that she had been gone a year already. At times, it felt like she had died just yesterday.



As usual, the grave was neat and tidy, but it wasn’t Severus’s doing. In fact, he didn’t know for sure who it was who maintained this peaceful haven for his wife, but he had a feeling that Hermione might still visit, a suspicion that was confirmed when he saw a small bunch of freesia’s, tied together with ribbon and sitting just on top of the black granite headstone. A small card dangled from them, and Severus stood and lifted it. He recognised her neat, rounded writing, and smiled as he read, ‘Fondly remembered, Hermione,’ His heart sank a little as he read her name, and he was gripped by a sudden feeling of guilt and a vivid memory of their last night in Italy. He ground his teeth together and cursed himself for thinking of such things at Lucy’s graveside. Gently, he caressed the granite that marked her resting place, and said a silent goodbye.



The guilt hadn’t lifted as he arrived just outside the gates of Hogwarts, and the sight of the familiar towers and their rugged backdrop did nothing but compound it, as memories of Hermione started to force their way into his thoughts.



She had written to him numerous times after he returned without her from Italy. And on each occasion, he had ignored her requests for contact. He did however keep all of her correspondence, and had brought it with him. She had been nothing but frank with him in her letters, telling him to stop sulking, that they could just pick up their friendship and forget what had happened between them. But Severus wasn’t blind, and he could read between the lines. She had laid her feeling bare on each page, and he wasn’t sure he could give her what she wanted from him. Eventually, she had stopped beating around the bush and told him how she really felt. He frowned to himself as he walked slowly up the long sweeping path to the school, recalling her last letter, which had arrived a month ago. She had informed him that if he chose not to respond again, that would be the end of it and she would move on. The decision was his. He had been so close to writing to her then, to the point where his quill had been dipped into the ink. But his hand had started to shake at the enormity of what he had been about to agree to, and he had dropped the quill and turned to a bottle of Firewhisky instead.



Severus’s thoughts were pushed from his mind when he saw Minerva, awaiting his arrival in the large entrance hall of his old stomping ground. Her face broke out into a huge smile and soft tears welled in her eyes as she walked up to him and took his hands in hers, gripping them and gulping gently, unable to speak. Severus was touched at her obvious affection for him, and he smiled slightly.



‘Headmistress,’ he bowed his head slightly.



Minerva McGonagall let go of his hands and slapped him slightly on his arm.



‘Don’t you dare, Severus. We have known each other far too long to allow formality to get in the way of friendship,’ she said firmly.



Severus caught her eye and chuckled. ‘I thought that would have the desired effect. No tears on my account, Minerva, if you don’t mind.’



‘Starting as you mean to go on, Severus?’ Minerva pursed her lips together, but her eyes shone brightly. ‘How are you?’ she asked him. It was a loaded question and they both knew it.



‘In need of distraction,’ he said quietly. It wasn’t just a distraction from Lucy’s death he was referring to, but that was something he preferred to keep to himself.



Minerva smiled sadly. ‘I am so very sorry for your loss, Severus. But as you are in need of something to do, you had better come and see the Potions dungeon,’ she shook her head, ‘the last incumbent caused chaos and I really don’t know where to begin.’



Minerva started to walk purposefully down the hallway and after a few moments, Severus smirked and followed her with long strides, his robes billowing as he did so.



On the walls, the portraits looked at each other and shuddered.





***********



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