Darkness Within

After Hermione had reconnected with her friends, Severus noticed a marked change in her. Her confidence rose dramatically and her appetite returned, along with her sense of humour and her interest in academia. Her physical appearance had benefited too, and her figure had filled out, her hair had grown lustrous and her skin became almost luminous with health.



She had been sharing his house for almost six months and it was agreed that she would give up her flat and just move in fully. The arrangement suited both of them and they enjoyed each other’s company. Severus started to give Hermione wages for her help in the lab, but she had counteracted this by insisting on paying him rent. An argument of phenomenal proportions had taken place, and it was at that moment that Severus knew Hermione was back to normal.



He was in the lab, clearing up after a particularly taxing day, making complex potions for a very exacting client. He stacked the unused phials back onto the shelf and took a small bit of parchment, scribing down briefly the ingredients he needed to restock.



Hermione stuck her head around the door and smiled as she watched him. He was so graceful, he moved with hardly a sound, and she loved to watch him work.



‘I’m nearly done,’ he murmured without turning around. He had caught a whiff of her shampoo and knew she was standing behind him without turning around.



‘Great. I’ll grab our coats, it’s starting to rain already,’ she said.



Severus turned around and saw her still standing there, smiling at him softly.



‘I thought you were getting the coats?’ he grinned at her.



Hermione snapped out of her daydream and blushed. ‘Yes, right, I am,’



Severus chuckled to himself and shook his head. They were going out for a curry. It had become their normal Friday night routine and one they both looked forward to. Severus wasn’t sure what part of it he enjoyed the most, the food or Hermione’s company. He feared it was the latter. His stomach clenched a little. It was taking all of his resolve not to try and entice her into a physical relationship, and he was sure she wouldn’t protest if he suggested such a thing. But something stopped him.



Although Hermione now had a social life beyond Spinners End, Severus had a suspicion she had not embarked on a romantic relationship with anyone since he found her. He was sure she would have told him. She told him everything else. Recently he had caught her watching him a couple of times and Severus wasn’t stupid. He thought she probably had a slight crush on him and understood it but didn’t encourage it. He was too old, too boring, and the thought of what having sex with him would do to her scared him. He could be a fierce and passionate lover, and after Hermione’s past experience, he knew that wouldn’t be good for her at all.



Severus sighed a little, and then closed the door of the lab to be met by Hermione thrusting his jacket at him.



‘Hurry up, I’m starving and it’s pissing down now,’ she muttered and walked to the front door.



Severus rolled his eyes and followed her.





*******



Hermione was gesturing with her fork as she spoke, her eyes animated. She was telling Severus in great detail about her last visit to Ginny’s, and in particular about Albus Severus. Apparently he was now able to sit up unsupported, but James found it amusing to push him over whenever he walked past him.



‘It sounds like sibling rivalry already, can you believe it?’ she said.



‘I might accompany you the next time. I should like to see how my godson is progressing,’ he murmured, taking a forkful of chicken jalfrezi.



‘I wish you would. Harry and Ginny always ask after you,’ Hermione smiled up at him warmly.



Severus felt his stomach lurch as he looked at her and he held her gaze for a little longer than he should have done. Hermione blushed, and then reached her hand across the table to stroke his face gently. Severus closed his eyes and sighed at her touch. He took her hand away softly and smiled at her.



‘The food is getting cold,’ he said quietly. Hermione held his gaze for a moment, and then nodded.



They ate the rest of the meal in silence.





*******



Hermione had made hot chocolate, and they were sitting drinking it in front of the fire. Severus looked over to her and cleared his throat a little.



‘I was wondering if you had thought about recommencing your studies?’ he asked her.



‘My studies? What do you mean?’ Hermione frowned at him and curled her feet underneath her in the chair.



‘I was wondering if that was what you had planned, if everything had gone well in Australia,’ he murmured.



‘I hadn’t really decided. I was going to talk it over with my Dad,’ Hermione’s voice caught and Severus eyed her with concern.



‘I didn’t want to upset you,’ he said.



‘No, no, it’s fine, really,’ Hermione gave him a small smile. ‘I did want to go to University. I even thought of working for the Ministry for a while, but I would need my degree first.’



‘What would you study? Potions? Arithmancy?’ he smiled gently at her, encouraging her to continue.



‘I’m not sure. I was thinking Muggle Studies,’ she laughed a little.



‘But you were brought up as a Muggle!’ Severus laughed out loud.



‘Yes, it’s silly, isn’t it? But I wanted to work in the Muggle Relations Department and without a degree in Muggle Studies, I wouldn’t get past the selection process,’ Hermione laughed too.



Severus caught her eye and took a deep breath as they smiled at each other.



‘I think you should consider it. You’re still young Hermione, you have your whole life ahead of you. You have all the time in the world to study, make your dreams come true,’ he murmured as he looked into her shining eyes.



‘Perhaps I will. But it would mean moving out of here. I’m not sure I want to do that yet,’ she whispered.



‘You will always have a home here, Hermione. You could come back, during the holidays and such,’ he tore his gaze away from hers.



Severus heard Hermione move from her chair and walk over to him. He looked up at her uneasily. Her hair was shining in the light from the fire, her eyes burning amber as she stared down at him. She knelt down and rested her arms on his knees gently, gazing up at him.



‘You have been so kind to me, Severus. I would miss you so much if I went away to study,’ she whispered softly.



Severus looked back at her and smiled a small smile. He was so tempted to run his finger through her hair and to kiss her.



‘I’m not planning on going anywhere, Hermione. I’ll still be here if you need me. At any time,’ he breathed.



Hermione smiled, lifted his empty mug from his hand and stood slowly. She bent her face to his and kissed his cheek.



‘Goodnight Severus,’ she whispered.



Severus waited until she had left the room and then let out the breath he had been holding, rubbing his face with his hands.



‘Gods,’ he whispered.





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