Life From the Start

A/N: I have the chapter on time!!! :D

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! ^_^

I seriously couldn’t think of a title… so please, excuse my stupidity. xD

Chapter 14: Path to More Confusion

“Well, it’s great that you guys came to visit me today,” Hermione smiled at both men; she bent down and gave Harry a light kiss. She straightened and smirked at the brunet, “And Harry, remember next time you come here, don’t go up the stairs that leads to the girls’ dormitory.”

“I didn’t know it would turn into a giant slide!” Harry exclaimed; he grumbled and stood next to Draco, leaning slightly against the blonde’s body. “I just wanted to check out what’s upstairs…”

Draco held back his laughter and looked at Hermione; he placed one hand on Harry’s shoulder. “We’ll take our leave now.” He steered Potter towards the opened portrait hole. Before he stepped outside he turned back, “And thanks for… the talk.”

“What talk?!” Harry asked from outside; Draco rolled his eyes and then nodded at Hermione before departing.

During their return trip, more than once did Harry bump hands with Draco, clearly wanting the blond to actually hold hands with him. But every time Draco looked at Harry’s direction, the brunet would be looking to the side; he simply didn’t meet Draco’s eyes. Now, they were at the flights of stairs, both walking side by side, every step matching the other.

They didn’t talk much, which was really surprising since Harry was usually the talkative one. But here they were, silent. One was deep in thought, while the other was contemplating whether he should try again to take the other’s hand.

Draco stared unseeingly ahead; his body was working on its own. It was a wonder that he still hadn’t tripped and rolled down the stairs…

.: Back in time… thirty minutes ago :.

“What do you mean?!” Draco hissed, after getting over his speechlessness. “Are you sure, Hermione? Harry has feelings for me?”

Hermione scowled at the blond next to her and placed her teacup a bit firmly on the saucer. It made a sharp ‘clink’ and at Hermione’s icy glare, Draco shrank back just a bit.

“Of course I’m sure, Malfoy!” Hermione whispered snappishly; Draco arched his eyebrow at being called by his surname. Hermione cleared her throat, realizing what she just did. “Sorry. But yes, Draco, I’m quite sure.”

“How can you know for sure?” Draco looked away from the girl, “Harry could’ve stared at me all those times because he… he hated my guts! You, being one of his best friends, should know we ‘hated’ each other for a good five years!”

“I know that!” Hermione threw her hands up in the air, “Look Draco, I’m not stupid or blind. Believe it or not, Harry talks about… you sometimes… Of course it was never when Ron’s here, but he talks to me.”

Draco narrowed his eyes at the brown haired girl, “What does Harry talk about? I bet you it’s all the stuff he hates about me.”

“Actually, no. There was this one time when we were studying in the common room late at night. It was for Potions you see, and Harry wanted to do well in Snape’s exam. Anyway, all of a sudden… well I guess it wasn’t since I saw him fidgeting around, but he blurted out how… handsome you look when you brew potions in class.”

Draco almost choked on the tea he was drinking. He quickly put the cup on the round table and coughed a few times. Hermione looked at him with a small smile; Draco glared at her.

“Yes… surprising isn’t it? I had the same reaction as you did just now. But then I put on a straight face and asked him why he thought of you that way.”

“Yeah… why indeed…” Draco muttered.

“Harry just shrugged and told me he just does and went back to studying. I almost wanted to strangle him that night, but I refrained from doing so.” Hermione sat back in her chair and looked at Harry, who seemed to be still occupied by the scrapbook. Hermione then let out a sigh with a shrug of her shoulders, “It was then I started to think about Harry’s true feelings towards you.”

“I still think it’s impossible for Harry to like me…” Draco muttered, “Every time we saw each other, we wanted to hex each other’s arse off. I did it because I had to mask my feelings; Harry had no reason to…”

“Oh god… Draco, would you stop being so pessimistic?!” Hermione snapped; Draco clamped his mouth shut. It was unwise to make Hermione angry. “Why can’t you accept that Harry can love you, too?”

“I-It’s hard…”

“No it’s not!” Hermione grounded out, “God, you’re as stubborn as he is!” She jerked her head in the direction of the brunet on the couch, “You two will make such a great couple.”

Draco furrowed his eyebrows and refused to look at the girl beside him. Hermione sighed and shifted in her seat. The blond glanced at her warily.

“It’s not as one sided as you think, Draco.”

.: Present time :.

“… Draco? Draco?”

Malfoy looked around; it seemed he had stopped walking all of a sudden. He and Harry were now standing in a empty hallway, far away from their quarters. He looked down—not much since the top of Harry's head reached his forearms—and found the brunet looking at him worriedly.

“Are you alright? You just stopped… I’ve been saying your name for the past minute or so.” Harry frowned at his guardian.

“Oh… I’m fine.” Harry looked at Draco skeptically, “Really, I am.” Draco tried a smile; Harry’s expression softened and returned the smile.

They started walking again and as they went to the lower levels of the castle, the air around got cooler. Harry shivered and tugged at his jumper; Draco shuffled at bit closer to the teen.

“Harry?” Draco said the brunet’s name without looking at him.

“What is it?”

“What if… What if one day, you wake up and you realize… everything in the past was just a dream? Like, it was an alternate reality. What would you do?” Draco asked; he had been thinking about it… since the days with Harry were getting short.

“That’s crazy!” Harry laughed, “How can everything that happened be a dream?” He looked up and found the blond scowling and realized it wasn’t a joke. Harry looked sadly at Draco, “You’re… not kidding.”

“No, I’m not.”

Harry swallowed; his throat was feeling unusually dry. “Well, I can tell you that… if this was a dream, then I would think of it as a really nice dream.” Harry smiled softly, “My time with you were filled with happiness. You were always there for me and loved me unconditionally, Draco. I will never forget that.”

‘Are you sure…?’ Draco thought sadly.

“Harry… what if you wake up one day and you… hate me.”

“I will never hate you!” Harry cried out; he grabbed Draco’s arm forcefully, stopping the taller teen from walking. “How can you even say such a thing?!” Tears were filling Harry’s eyes and he quickly wiped them away with his free hand. “I can’t hate you, Draco… I never…”

Right there and then, Draco felt like a first class jerk. He pulled the sniffling teen to him and wrapped him in a hug.

“I’m sorry, Harry… I was just… Never mind. Forget everything I said in the past ten minutes.” Draco murmured; he carded his fingers soothingly through Harry’s mop of hair. It calmed the brunet immediately.

“I just don’t understand why you would ask me such things,” Harry sniffed; he moved away from Draco’s warm body and glared up at the blond. “And as far as I’m concerned, none of this is a dream.”

Draco smiled but didn’t answer Harry; he let go of the brunet and was about to continue his way when Harry took his hand.

Not caring that this was a teenage Harry, Draco linked their fingers together. Time was short and Draco was going to cherish every second of it.

HPDMHPDM

It was well passed midnight and Draco was huddled on the couch, watching the fire in the fireplace dance. Harry had wanted to stay with him that evening but the blond ushered the younger teen to bed.

Words from his conversation with Hermione repeatedly replayed in his mind. Draco wanted to believe every word that came out from Hermione’s mouth but it all seemed too surreal. More than anything, Draco wanted Harry to like him, and in time love him, as well.

It was just too much to think about. His head was starting to hurt from thinking too much.

With a sigh, Draco straightened his legs and stretched—he had been sitting in a curled up position for the past half hour. He slowly got up and padded in the direction of his bedroom. Draco was fumbling with the door knob of his door when he saw, from the corner of his eyes, that Harry’s door was slightly ajar.

‘Why do you care? Let the boy sleep!’ Draco chided himself, ‘Besides, it’s not like Harry’s doing anything interesting… He’s sleeping.’

Draco shrugged and was back fumbling with his door knob when he heard a soft groan coming from the other side of Harry’s door. Draco stopped twisting the knob and marched (three steps) to the door next to his own bedroom.

A number of questions ran across Draco’s mind:

1. Is Harry sick?
2. Is Harry having a nightmare?
3. Did he fall off his bed and bumped his head?
4. None of the above.

‘There should be a fifth option…’

Draco used the toes of his right foot to push the door wider so that he could slip in without making any unnecessary sounds. Draco stood by the doorway, his hands behind his back so that he could close the door.

The first thing he saw was a squirming lump on top of Harry’s bed; Draco immediately crossed out question number three. As he got closer to the moving body under the covers, Draco started hearing soft moans; questions number one and two came back. Worried about Harry’s health, the blond quickly made his way to the side of the bed and was about to check if the teen had a temperature, when Harry moaned again.

“… Oh… Don’t…” Harry murmured breathlessly in his sleep; he twisted under the blankets, hands gripping the top in tight fists.

Draco loomed over the distraught brunet and inspected Harry’s face. It was a good thing the window was right there behind Harry’s bed. Soft moonlight shone through the glass and illuminated Harry’s face. Malfoy could see that Harry was a bit flushed, his lips parted fractionally; beads of perspiration dotted across Potter’s forehead, making his dark tresses stick to the skin. And he was still moaning... And his hips were making subtle, small thrusts. One thing came to Draco’s mind: Harry looked like he was in a middle of an extremely good shag.

Bloody hell.

“Draco…” Harry moaned; he unconsciously bent his legs and opened them.

Draco squeaked. Yes, he squeaked. For god’s sake, Harry just moaned out his name; who wouldn’t squeak?!

“Harry… Oh Merlin…” Draco shook his head, “Stop it, Draco. You can’t think of Harry that way. Not now.” Draco reminded himself and slowly backed away from the moaning brunet. “You just can’t.”

Then Harry started panting.

Draco’s blood pressure went through the roof… then all the blood rushed south. This time it was Draco’s turn to groan. It was just so enticingly delicious to see Harry writhing on top of the bed, even though Harry was just dreaming. Draco turned on his heels and bolted out the door, before he was going to do something drastically stupid to the brunet.

That night, Draco Malfoy didn’t get any sleep at all.

HPDMHPDM

Like clockwork, Harry the human alarm clock ran into Draco’s room at exactly eight o’clock Sunday morning. The winter holidays were coming to a close; actually, school starts the next day. Harry clambered up onto the soft mattress and smiled when Draco shifted away, making room for the smaller teen. Potter sighed and lied down next to the blond, green eyes staring up at the ceiling.

“What? I don’t get shaken up today?” Draco asked; he was already half awake when Harry ran in. Draco groaned tiredly and rolled onto his back, lying in the same position as Harry. “You’re awfully quiet.”

“Oh… I-I uh… didn’t get much sleep last night. Woke up very early. Yeah.” Harry said choppily; Draco twisted his head to the side and found Harry looking at him. The younger teen blushed and looked away quickly, back to staring at the ceiling.

“And why didn’t you get any sleep?” Draco queried. He knew the answer of course; Draco just wanted to see if Harry would actually tell him. He was not disappointed; Harry folded his hands on top of his stomach and began fiddling his thumbs.

“I-I had a dream last night. Yup. It was… interesting.” Harry said offhandedly, “I kept thinking about it… that’s why I couldn’t sleep.”

“Really?” Draco drawled and sat up; he slowly stretched, not noticing the way Harry was eyeing him.

“Ye-yeah…” Harry stammered; his green eyes traveled downward to where a sliver of pale skin showed as Draco’s pajama rode up. “I-I don’t remember much about it though.”

Draco hummed and turned to smile at the brunet who was still lying on his back. His smile turned into a smirk when he saw how Harry’s eyes were drawn near his hips. There were two splotches of pink on each of Harry’s cheekbones. An evil smile slowly formed and Draco inched his hand towards Harry’s stomach. With a sharp jab, he got Harry’s attention.

“Why’d you do that for?!” Harry whined as he rubbed the sore spot on his stomach. “And stop looking at me like that!” Harry mumbled when Draco continued to smirk at him.

“What were you staring at?” Draco shot back; he smiled in satisfaction when Harry blushed.

“N-nothing!” Harry said quickly, his eyes diverting away from Draco. He rolled to his side and curled up into a ball. “I wasn’t staring at you, that’s for sure.” Harry said firmly.

“Oh yes, Harry, I am sure you were only staring at my beautiful wardrobe on the other side of the room.” Draco said sarcastically; Harry made a nonchalant grunt. “Now if you’re just going to lounge around on my bed, be my guest. Me, on the other hand, will go out to the Great Hall and have breakfast after I freshen myself. You can join me when you decide to get off the bed.” Draco said and got off; he walked to his ‘beautiful’ wardrobe and took out some fresh clothes. “I suggest you go to your room and dress. I know the house-elves are going to make a nice English breakfast for us if we’re not too late.”

Draco heard Harry gasp and without turning around, he knew the teen had run out the room, if the running footsteps were anything to go by. The blond chuckled to himself and got ready for the rest of the day.

HPDMHPDM

Since it was the last day of the holidays, students were coming back and thus, the Great Hall was about a quarter filled. Draco had barely opened the heavy double doors when Harry ran passed him and straight to the Gryffindor table. Draco was secretly glad that the Lions’ table only had a few students, most were of underclassmen. He spotted Granger right away; Harry was already there, sitting right across from the girl. Malfoy made his way over and calmly sat down next to his charge, who was waiting impatiently for his plate of breakfast to appear.

“Good morning, Hermione.” Draco greeted politely; Hermione smiled at the blond.

“Morning, Draco.” Hermione grinned, “It seems Harry is a bit excited.”

“Of course he is. I mentioned food when we were still back at our quarters. It only took him ten minutes to do his morning rituals.” Draco said.

“I’m hungry!” Harry cried indignantly, “You can’t starve a growing boy!” He humphed and went back to fidgeting.

“Sooner or later you are going to break the bench from all the fidgeting.”

Draco rolled his eyes when Harry scowled but stopped moving nonetheless; Hermione giggled at the interaction between Draco and her best friend.

Harry whooped when a huge plate of breakfast appeared before him; Draco and Hermione calmly started on their breakfast while Harry ate with fervor. It was a wonder how Harry had managed to stay so slim, seeing the amount he consumed each day.

Potter cut a piece of sausage, stuffed it in his mouth, chewed and swallowed before speaking. “Mini, how come you stayed during Christmas? Don’t you always go with Ron to his house?”

Hermione stopped forking her eggs and looked up at Harry, shocked. She caught Draco shaking his head at her and whatever question that was about to tumble out of her mouth was gone. The brown haired placed her fork down beside her dish and dabbed her mouth daintily with her white napkin. Glancing at Draco, the blond teen was back sawing into his sausages. Hermione sighed and tried a small smile; Harry was looking at her, his cheeks puffed out from food.

“Ron did ask me to visit his family this year…” Hermione started, “… but I thought better of it. It is his only time spent with his family after all. I didn’t want to intrude.” Hermione said softly; Draco looked up from his scrambled eggs and just from the look on the girl’s face, he knew there was more to what she said.

“Oh… So that’s why you stayed?” Harry tilted his head to the side, “Well, Christmas is the only time of year when… Charlie would come back from Romania; you know how Ron almost never sees Charlie--”

“What else do you remember!?” Hermione forced out; Draco was glaring at her now but she ignored him. “How much you know? You… Harry do you remember everything?”

“Hermione, why don’t you finish your breakfast?” Draco gritted out, “Maybe we’ll talk after we’re all done.”

“I’m full, Draco.” Hermione glared at the blond.

Harry was looking back and forth between the two older teens. Why did he say Charlie? Where did that come from? When he tried to search through his memories of who Charlie was, Harry couldn’t find it. Harry frowned and placed his own fork down; he wasn’t so hungry anymore. Half of his breakfast was left uneaten.

“I don’t know, Mini…” Harry muttered, “The name just seemed familiar… but now I can’t recall…” Harry scowled at the plate in front of him and pushed it away.

Draco snarled at the bushy-haired girl; Hermione returned Draco’s snarl with one of her own glares.

“We’re going to have a nice long talk, Draco.” Hermione said in a deadly tone; there was a thin smile, but she was anything but happy.

“I’ll be more than happy to converse with you, Hermione.”

HPDMHPDM

Draco watched as Harry was running along the lake shore, stopping every now and then when there was a ripple across the lake. Draco assumed the giant squid had come out from hibernation. Malfoy had told Harry that he needed to talk with ‘Mini’; Harry told them that he would be by the lake and did not ask any questions before he ran off. Draco sighed and leaned against a giant oak tree trunk; Hermione was making herself comfortable on the hard, icy snow. Once she was, she scowled at the blond beside her.

“Tell me, just how much does Harry remember of his real memories?” Hermione shot out, “I thought he only remembers a little. But there he was, remembering Charlie and me going to the Burrow every Christmas!”

“It’s was a gradual thing, Hermione.” Draco answered tiredly, “It started when Harry aged to seven years old. It was then he began getting these relapses and he would see images of his real memories.” He pulled back his arms and folded them behind his head. “Harry would blank out for minutes and everything would be back to normal. Sometimes I fear that he would remember how he hated me…”

Hermione’s angry expression softened, “Is that why you think Harry doesn’t like you?”

“That’s part of the reason I guess,” Draco murmured, “I’m always afraid that he would hate me one day… because he remembers every little detail… all the hatred between us.”

“Well, from what I’m seeing, he loves you more than anything.” Hermione smiled softly, her eyes trained on the brunet who was now sitting by the lake, watching the scenery before them.

“I asked him yesterday,” Draco said, “I asked Harry what would he do if everything that happened was all but a dream. I asked him what if in reality, he hated me.”

“What did Harry say?”

“He broke down and he asked me how I could say such things.” Draco laughed bitterly, “If he only knew how true my words were.”

“That’s the thing. Harry doesn’t know.” Hermione put her hand on Draco’s shoulder and gave him a comforting squeeze, “Let him believe this is all true. There is a chance the things that happened now would be remembered, right?”

“A slim chance, but you’re correct.” Draco confirmed, “But I just have this feeling that Harry won’t remember.”

“Maybe… maybe not.”

“This is all so confusing!” Draco yelled; he leaned forward and placed his chin on his bent knees. “Part of me wished that the accident never happened. I live my life, and Harry lives his life. Another part of me is thankful that the accident happened because I got to know Harry better… Am I being selfish?”

Hermione chuckled and shook her head, “Of course not, Draco. You’re not being selfish.”

They stayed silent for a moment, both watching Harry trying to make a snowman. It was a very badly made snowman, but it was still one nonetheless. Draco tore his eyes away from Harry and glanced at the girl beside him; Hermione was still watching Harry so she did not notice Draco looking at her.

“How come you didn’t go with Weasley this year?”

Hermione snorted at how bold the question was, but she obliged by answering the blond.

“We’ve been… having many disagreements ever since Harry got turned into a toddler.” Hermione murmured, “The first day, Ron complained about why Harry was in your care. His exact words were ‘How come the Ferret gets to watch Harry? He’s our friend and his enemy!’”

“Typical of Weasley to say such things,” Draco scoffed, “Do continue.”

“Well, you know how Ron is. He’s very stubborn. So everyday after that, he always complained. He’s always asking me why we couldn’t see Harry. At first, I agreed with Ron. Harry is a Gryffindor after all and he should’ve stayed with us.”

“You said ‘at first’. What changed your mind?” Draco asked; it was interesting to hear about other people’s problems. Draco knew it was awful for thinking that way, but he was tired of always talking about his problems to people.

“That day when we first saw Harry during Potions,” Hermione smiled at the memory, “Harry was three… and he called Professor Snape, ‘Professor Slaps’.” Hermione let out a small giggle, “I thought he was so cute… and then I also saw how he was so happy around you.” She looked to the side and met a pair of grey eyes. “When you were gathering ingredients, Harry was asking for you the whole time. He was telling me and Ron how you told him about Potions… It was then I realized, it was the right choice for Harry to be in your care. You made him happy. You gave him the chance to have a normal childhood, without all the harsh words that came from his relatives.”

“I see… But still, that didn’t tell me why you refused to go with Weasley.” Draco looked away from Hermione and back at Harry—the snowman was half done now.

“Ron had actually planned to ‘visit’ you and Harry and then forcefully take Harry away from you!” Hermione fumed, “That was the most preposterous thing he had ever come up with!” She furrowed and frowned at the memory. “I yelled at him, telling him to stop being a git and just accept the fact that Harry is happy being with you. Do you know what he said to me?” Hermione asked.

Draco shook his head. This was all so amusing.

“He actually asked me why I was taking your side!” Hermione threw her hands up and rolled her eyes, “Then he asked me if I like you… I slapped him. I couldn’t take any more of his words.”

Draco was speechless… and happy. Hermione slapped the Weasel!

“Is that why you didn’t go with him? Well, good for you, Hermione. Weasley needed to be slapped.” Draco smirked.

“Yeah… that’s about it. He was mad at me and didn’t talk to me for days… I was kind of glad not to hear him yap about you and Harry. But, knowing Ron, he’ll probably forget everything when he comes back.”

“Huh… wait until he finds out his best friend might actually like me. He’ll explode.” Draco said humorlessly.

“I’m not stupid enough to tell Ron that!” Hermione scoffed, “He can find out himself. He’ll be angry… but later on, he’ll accept it.”

“Really?” Draco asked skeptically.

Hermione clucked her tongue, “Ron’s the least of your problems. Do you plan on telling Harry… when he’s normal again?”

“Tell him what? That I like him?” Draco combed his fingers through is blond hair.

“Tell him… everything I suppose.”

“Hermione, you should know Harry is not the most level headed person in the world.” Draco sighed, “I still think he won’t take it too well if I told him…”

“You should try at least.” Hermione suggested, “What harm can it do?”

“Possibly, a lot.”

HPDMHPDM

A/N: Telling Harry may cause many problems. Please read instructions before doing anything drastic. Said actions might cause unnecessary explosions.