Everything I Ever Wanted

Chapter Fourteen



‘Belle!’ She heard the familiar voice, but it sounded so far away, and she was so tired. Ignoring the voice, she tried to sink back into the dark again, but then it came again. ‘Bella, please!’

And another voice she knew. ‘Billie! Come on now. Time to wake up.’

Billie groaned, then felt a pain rip through her belly, bringing her immediately back to reality. She cried out, clutching at her stomach, and opened her eyes, seeing Remus’ relieved face.

‘Thank God,’ he said, tears in his eyes as he grasped her head and kissed her quickly. ‘Remus, we’ve got to start,’ came Rowena’s voice.

‘What…’ she began, but Rowena’s face came into her line of sight.



‘You’re haemorrhaging, Billie,’ she said urgently. ‘The baby is stressed and its heart rate is slow. We are taking it now.’

Billie looked around: they were in a white sterile room, several people were quickly moving around.

‘Billie, we’re going to put you to sleep again now,’ Rowena said, glancing at Remus, who looked terrified. ‘I’ll give you a moment.’



He nodded and leaned down. ‘Belle, do you know how much I love you?’ he whispered urgently.

She nodded, and he said fiercely, ‘Then don’t you even think about leaving me now. Alright?’ Billie nodded again, not understanding what was wrong.

She didn’t feel any pain now, and the baby was coming. ‘It doesn’t hurt anymore,’ she whispered, her voice croaky.

This didn’t seem to reassure him, and he gripped her hand harder. ‘Don’t you dare go,’ he said desperately. ‘Belle, promise me you’ll come back.’



She nodded, still not understanding but getting a little scared now by his obvious fear. ‘Remus….’ she heard Rowena say and he nodded.

‘Tell me you love me, Bella,’ he whispered, kissing her forehead.

‘I love you, Remus,’ she said quietly, and he kissed her lips, Billie feeling his tears drop onto her face.

‘I love you,’ he whispered. ’You are everything I ever wanted.’ Then he was forced away from her.

‘Billie, I’m giving you a potion now, and you’ll go to sleep alright?’ Rowena said, holding a vial to her mouth.

Billie could see Remus watching as she drank the liquid, then fell back onto the bed unconscious almost immediately.



****



Remus sat with his head in his hands rocking slightly on the chair. He had thought he’d been afraid before, but now he realised he hadn’t even come close to feeling the absolute terror he felt now.









He’d been abruptly woken just before dark by an ashen faced Alice, who told him Hagrid had carried an unconscious and bleeding Billie into the castle. He and Poppy immediately left for St Mungos Hospital, where Rowena was already waiting for them, pacing anxiously.

‘She’s still unconscious,’ Poppy said as they arrived, Remus lowering Billie to a bed. ‘She’s still bleeding.’

Rowena took one look and yelled out, ‘We need to deliver now.’ She ignored Remus and Poppy for a few minutes, ordering the healers to get potions and equipment. Remus held Billie’s hand, talking to her, trying to get her to open her eyes.

‘Remus,’ Rowena said, putting her hand on his shoulder. ‘She’s lost a lot of blood. We’ll try our best, you know that, but…there’s a chance neither of them will make it.’ He nodded, and called out to Billie again, finally seeing her open her eyes.



He put his head back against the wall now, looking at his watch. They’d been in there twenty minutes. Shouldn’t the baby be out by now? His breathing felt laboured and he suddenly couldn’t sit still, beginning to pace the hall. Poppy had gone back to the school to try and find out what had happened, and had agreed to contact the Weasley’s for him.



Suddenly he heard a tiny cry - a baby’s cry and he spun around, moving quickly to the door. Just as he reached it, he saw two healers pushing the baby in a cot.

‘Where are you going?’ he asked, and one of the women looked up.

‘We’re taking the baby to get checked over by one of our mediwizards,’ she said. ‘You’re the father?’

When he nodded, she said, ‘You can come if you like.’



Remus looked down at the tiny baby in the cot. ‘Is it ok?’ he asked, seeing the red infant, gasping and crying.

‘He’s too early, but with the right care, his chances are good. He seems strong.’

‘It’s a boy?’ he asked, gazing down at his baby.

‘Yes,’ she said with a smile. ‘It’s a boy.’

He looked up at her with pleading eyes. ‘Belle?’ he begged. She frowned.

‘They’re still working on her,’ she said quietly. ‘She lost a lot of blood.’

The other woman indicated that they should leave. ‘Look, he’ll be fine for now,’ she said quickly, motioning to the baby. ‘Stay. Wait for word on Billie. We’ll be upstairs when you’re ready.’

Remus nodded and they wheeled the baby away, disappearing at the end of the hall.



His dread was growing, and he ran his hands over his face and head distractedly. ‘Remus!’ he heard from down the hall, and he saw Molly, Bill and Harry walking quickly towards him. Molly hugged him, and for a moment he lost control.

‘God, Molly,’ he said hoarsely. ‘They don’t think she’ll make it.’

Molly’s arms tightened and he could see Harry and Bill’s shocked faces. He pulled away from her and grasped her arms.

‘Could you go upstairs?’ he asked. ‘The baby. They took him up there, but I need to know…’

The words refused to come, but Molly nodded. ‘Of course,’ she said, turning immediately, giving Bill a look her son interpreted to mean ’Don’t leave him’ to which he nodded.

Harry hugged Remus as well, then Bill put his arm around him, leading him back to the chair.

‘Sit down, Remus,’ he said, then looked at Harry. ‘Why don’t you grab us all a drink, Harry,’ he said.

Harry nodded and left. Bill and Remus sat in silence until he came back, then all three sat silently until an hour later when Rowena emerged from the room.



Remus stood up abruptly, the other two men following his lead. ‘Well, is she alright?’ he asked.

She frowned. ‘She’s still unconscious,’ she said, taking his arm and leading him to the door. ‘You can see her if you like.’

Relieved that Billie was still alive and suddenly feeling weak, he nodded and went through the door, seeing a white faced Billie lying perfectly still on the bed.

‘She’s had several blood replenishing potions,’ said Rowena. ‘And she’ll need more for a week or two yet.’

She let Remus have a few minutes with her, watching as he stroked her hair and whispered to her, then pulled him aside.

‘Remus, you need to listen to me now,’ she said, her tone urgent. ‘She shouldn’t still be unconscious, but she is. That’s not good.’

She hated seeing the pain on his face, but he had to know. ‘There was too much damage, Remus. I’m sorry. She won’t ever be able to have another child.’

Remus shook his head, not caring about that now.

‘Is she going to be alright?’ he asked, irritated when she hesitated. ‘Rowena!’

‘I don’t know, Remus,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘Just sit with her. That’s all we can do right now.’



So he did. He barely left her side for two days, only moving to quickly visit their baby, who was doing much better than his mother. The lycanthropy tests were done, and the result was negative - Remus had not passed on the infection. He was relieved by the news, but nothing seemed to matter unless Billie got better. The Weasley’s and Harry were taking turns sitting with him and the baby.



He was watching her one night when he saw her eye twitch. Thinking he might be seeing things, he stared at her until he saw it happen again, then her head moved slightly to the side. He got up quickly.

‘Bella,’ he said hoarsely, waking Harry who was sleeping on a chair in the corner.

‘What happened?’ he asked, standing up and coming over to the bed.

‘I think she’s waking up,’ Remus said, a little disbelievingly. ‘Get the healer, Harry.’

Harry took off quickly, leaving Remus with Billie, who he now heard moan a little.

‘Belle,’ he said, taking her hand. Her head turned towards his voice and he smiled. ‘Bella. Come on, honey. You’ve had enough rest now, and we’ve got a baby to name.’



Her eyes opened just as the healer walked in. He quickly moved to stand opposite Remus, waving his wand over Billie, who suddenly became much more alert.

‘Remus,’ she said softly, and he nearly fainted with relief.

‘You know how scare the hell out of me, don’t you?’ he said, taking her face in his hands and kissing her.

‘God, Belle,’ he murmured, pressing his face to hers. ‘I thought I’d lost you.’

She moved her hand up to hold his head to her. ‘I’m alright,’ she mumbled.



As he pulled away, the healer took over, asking them to step aside for a minute so he could examine Billie. Remus made certain he stayed within her sight, and he saw her watching him as the healer poked at her.

‘Baby?’ she said with a frown, relaxing a little when she saw Remus smile.

‘We have a beautiful little boy, Bella,’ he said with a grin. ‘He looks just like you, and he’s healthy. Completely healthy.’

Billie smiled. ‘Can I see him?’ she asked, but it was the healer who answered.



‘Not just yet,’ he said with a frown, touching her stomach. ‘Billie, does this hurt?’

She gasped, and he smiled grimly. ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’

‘What’s wrong?’ said Remus, but the man shook his head.

‘It’s fine,’ he said, soothingly to Billie. ‘We’ll get baby down here tomorrow for a visit, alright?’

She nodded and he handed her a potion from his pocket. ‘Get some sleep,’ he said, smiling at her expression. ‘You’re going to need all the sleep you can get for when the little one comes home.’

Remus stepped forward. ‘Go on, honey,’ he said, taking her hand. ‘I’ll be here when you wake up.’

She smiled and took the potion, falling asleep immediately.



‘Right, now what’s wrong?’ Remus said to the healer, his expression changing from smiles to concern.

‘I think she’s got an infection,’ he said, with a frown. ‘It’s a worry because she’s still very weak.’

He removed the sheet over her and waved his wand, muttering incantations.



Finally, he looked up. ‘It was only just starting, I think I’ve managed to halt it. The potion had an anti infection herb in it, but we’ll start her on something stronger tomorrow. Otherwise, she is doing well.’

He smiled at Remus and Harry. ‘She won’t wake up until the morning,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you go and get showered and changed and come back a little later?’

Remus shook his head, but Harry insisted.

‘Yes, Remus,’ he said, dragging him out the door a few minutes later. ‘She’s fine. I’ll stay until you get back.’



He frowned but agreed, quickly Flooing back to Hogwarts, where he found Alice in her room. ‘How is she?’ she asked urgently when she saw him.

‘She just woke up,‘ he said. ‘They think she’ll be alright.’

‘And the baby?’ she said. Remus smiled proudly.

‘A little boy,’ he said, for the first time realising he was a father now. ‘He’s gorgeous, Alice. He looks just like Belle, except Molly thinks he’s got my nose.’

Alice grinned. ‘I’m so happy for you, Remus,’ she said, hugging him. ‘Tell Billie not to worry. Every one here is fine.’ He nodded.

‘I’m going to change, then go back to the hospital,’ he said. She smiled and nodded. ‘Tell Billie I’ll be there on Saturday if she’s not home.’



‘Home,’ he thought as he walked to their room. ‘Where do we go?’

He wondered if Billie could stay in their room for the holidays. They hadn’t really talked much about where they would live permanently or how soon she would return to work. Remus thought as he showered and dressed in clean clothes, gathering some for Billie as well. He would rather she didn’t go back to work, maybe his wage would be able to cover their expenses until the baby was older. He got distracted as he thought of the baby, smiling.

‘My baby. My son,’ he thought, grinning again. He needed a name.

He Flooed back to the hospital and woke up Harry, sending him home. He settled in a chair, then fell asleep with his head on Billie’s bed.



Two weeks later



‘Finally,’ the healer said, tucking his wand back into his pocket. ‘We can be rid of you.’ Billie and Remus grinned.

‘Really?’ Remus said, standing up. ‘When?’

‘Yep!’ the man said with a smile. ‘Today. Now. I’ll get Rowena to sort out anything you need to know.’ He waved and left the room.

‘I can go home,’ Billie said, letting out a sigh of relief. Remus sat next to her on the bed, and hugged her to him.

‘Thank God,’ he said, kissing her neck as she leaned into him.

‘Mmm,’ she said, trying to get closer.



He kissed her again, then moved to her mouth, kissing her quickly at first, then for longer as she responded and he felt his body stirring. A few minutes later when Rowena walked in, they were lying back on the bed, Remus lying across Billie, kissing her deeply.

‘Jesus,’ the older woman said with a smile. ‘I’ll need a cold shower if you two keep that up.’



Remus lifted his head and grinned, sitting up and pulling Billie up as well.

‘It has been a while,’ Billie commented, flushing a little as she straightened her shirt.

‘Hmm, yes,’ Rowena said. ‘About that….’ She saw a slightly alarmed look on both their faces and decided to tease them.

‘You are aware it takes Muggles weeks, sometimes months before they are ready to….‘ Remus made a growling noise in his throat and she laughed.

‘Luckily you aren’t Muggles. Thanks to magical healing, you are fine to resume full marital relations whenever you want,’ she said. ‘Just try to wait till you leave the hospital.’



‘What about Noah?’ said Billie with a frown. ‘When can we take him home?’

‘A couple more weeks,’ she said, holding her hand up as they opened their mouths to object. ‘Maybe less. Remember, he’s supposed to be still curled up inside you. He’s doing really well, but he was ten weeks early. Anyway, I don’t know how you’re going to get him away from the healers up there. He’s a charmer already.’

She got up and hugged them both. ‘Go and get some time together before he comes home,’ she advised. ‘He’s got no shortage of visitors, and I’d say you could do with making some arrangements before he’s home for good.’

They conceded that was true and she left, promising to visit soon.



Billie and Remus walked up the stairs to the next floor, spending the next hour holding their son and talking with the healers there, who did seem to adore Noah. Molly arrived and shooed them away when she realised Billie had been released.

‘About time you sorted that new house out, isn’t it?’ she admonished Remus.



He and Billie had finally talked, honestly, about what they were going to do now. Remus was relieved to find out that Billie would rather stay home with Noah, at least until he was ready for school.

‘We are so lucky to have him, Remus,’ she said, a little tearfully. ‘He’s the only child we’ll ever have and I don’t want to miss a minute of his life.’

He agreed, then bought up his concerns. He was on a minimal wage, enough for him and maybe Billie but a baby…



‘I probably should have told you this,’ she said with a smile. ‘But I didn’t think I’d still have it; I thought dad would end up taking it so I never said anything, but now he’s gone….’

Her father was in Azkaban, for assaulting her and for the atrocities he committed against her when she was a child, Billie‘s and his own memories convicting him.

‘You know I have money,’ she said with a smile. ‘Well, technically I guess we have money now.’



She explained that her mother left her a significant inheritance as well as their old house, which she had sold years ago, not wanting to ever go inside it again.

‘We could buy a house in Hogsmeade so you can still teach, but come home each night,’ she said with a smile.

Remus was reluctant to accept the offer, but she insisted, moving the money from both their vaults to a joint one at Gringotts.

‘Wouldn’t you tell me how silly I was if I refused to take any of your wage to live on?’ she asked, finally seeing him cave.



She had trusted Remus to pick out a new home, saying she didn’t care what it looked like. Molly and Fleur had gone with him though, telling Billie that they had saved her from some pretty ratty places.

‘We just had to remind him that he’d be raising his son there and he moved on pretty quickly,’ Fleur said, assuring Billie that the new house was lovely and that she would make sure he got some decent furniture for it.



Billie and Remus apparated to their new house, Billie letting out a squawk when Remus picked her up and carried her over the threshold. As he put her down, he kissed her, setting off a reaction in her that made him pick her up again, and head straight for their bedroom, throwing her down on the new bed with him on top of her.

‘Are you sure this is alright?’ he asked against her lips as they pulled each other’s clothes off quickly.

‘You heard Ro - it’s fine,’ she said, then hissed his name when his tongue licked her nipple.

‘Fuck,’ he said, when her hands found him and he kicked off his pants.



Reaching under her, he ripped down her knickers, then made an attempt to slow down, touching her gently at first then, as she thrust her hips up and told him in no uncertain terms exactly what she wanted and how she wanted it, he pushed himself into her, cursing when he almost came immediately.

‘Shit, Belle,’ he gasped desperately, as she wrapped her legs around him. ‘I can’t hold on long.’

‘God, will you just move?’ she said, raising her hips. He gave in, thrusting hard and fast, until less than a minute later, shudders rocked them both.



Remus rolled her over so she was lying on top of him and kissed her hard. ‘That must have set a record for the quickest ever,’ he muttered, slightly embarrassed he’d lost control so completely.

‘Can’t say I noticed,‘ Billie said with a laugh and kissed him again, feeling him harden inside her. ‘Hmm, looks like you might be ready to redeem yourself.’