Secrets

The next month passed slowly for Snape and Hermione, as neither were used to such company. They often worked hours into the night, and sometimes would even sit and talk until the sun rose. They would exchange soft kisses that were filled with passion, but never anything more. He would often hold her, but would often get up suddenly and go attend to something else. Their relationship was comfortable, yet had Hermione quite confused.


Snape was sitting next to Hermione on the couch, turned towards her, wondering what in the bloody hell she could want to talk to him about.

She fidgeted, and Snape had a feeling this was not going to go well.

"What is it?" he asked, surprised at the reluctance in his voice. He had come to count on and enjoy Hermione's presence...could she want to end it?


"Severus...is everything alright with us? Er...what I mean is...um-"
"What is it, Hermione?" Snape asked, getting defensive.
Hermione hesitated for a moment, and then tried again, "Do you find me attractive, Severus?"

He paused for a second, choosing his words carefully. "Whatever made you think that I am not attracted to you, Hermione?"

Hermione blushed slightly, which Snape just barely noticed as she was staring at her hands in her lap. She looked up at him, her eyes looking deep into his, and said, "Because we....we've never been...you know. Sexual."
It was Snape's turn to blush slightly. It wasn't the mention of sex, it was the idea that she had that for some reason, he didn't want her.

"Hermione, you know I find you very attractive. I just," he sighed heavily, "I just don't want to rush you. Or...what we have. I've...I've never done this before. I don't know how to act. I don't know what exactly is expected of me. I've learned a bit here and there, but...if you want or need something from me, all you need to do is ask."

"...What have you learned?" Hermione asked curiously.

Snape smirked for a moment before replying, "Well, I've learned you're a night person, so any time before noon is probably not a good time. Your favorite snack is chocolate and peanut butter. I've learned you hate your hair but have learned to live with it over the years, even if it still bothers you. I've learned you love for me to kiss you when you least expect it, even though you'd never admit that to me, because you think I don't enjoy being affectionate. Shall I go on?" he asked, slightly joking, yet willing to keep on listing things if it would make her happy or more comfortable talking to him.

"Do you?" she asked, Snape looking at her quizzically. "Do you enjoy being affectionate? Sometimes I feel like you do it just to make me happy...like it pains you to do it."

Snape sighed heavily again while staring into the fire. He looked deep in thought (a look Hermione had come to know well over the past months) before answering, "Hermione, I need you to understand something. I meant it when I said I'd never done this before. The closest I have ever had to a relationship was with Lilly...and that wasn't much of anything." He smirked ruefully, but continued in a low tone, still staring into the fire as he told Hermione what he needed to tell her. "I swore I would never love another woman after Lilly and I stopped being friends. I...I never wanted to love again." Snape seemed to mentally shake himself, and suddenly straightened up and turned to face Hermione. "I find you extremely attractive, I just...I can't right now. Can you understand that and be alright with that?" he asked, hoping his vagueness wasn't too obvious.

Hermione frowned a bit, then nodded. Snape leaned over and kissed her cheek, breathing in her now so familiar smell. He moved away quickly, and Hermione rose from the couch and left, presumably to go back to her room.
Snape held his head in his hands, massaging his temples, trying to make the dull ache between them subside.
"What am I doing?" he mumbled to himself.


Hermione, instead of heading back towards her rooms, turned down the other end of the corridor to walk toward the library. Did he think that she wasn't a sexual person? Surely he didn't think she was a virgin. There had been Ron their seventh year, right before they broke up, and then Daniel, a fellow Potions student that she shared a few classes with at University. He had been sweet and caring, yet too hung up on his ex-girlfriend to care enough about her. Did he think she'd be bad? Hermione began to get a bit angry. She wanted to get worked up, but then thought better of it. She thought, "Surely he has a good reason for it, right?" She had finally made it to the library, but standing outside the door, she realized she didn't really want to be here right now. She doubled back, mulling it over.


The next week was awkward at best between them, their work in the classroom going smoothly. Yet after they were done, Hermione would clean up, bid him goodnight, and then quickly go to her rooms. It was Friday, and after a full week of this, Snape was in his room trying to make a decision. He struggled, going back and forth, trying to reason with himself, yet it was doing no good. Something in him finally broke, and he strode quickly to the door.


Hermione heard a strong knock at her door, a knock that she knew as Snape's. She went to answer it, making sure to pull her t-shirt down over her knickers. What could he want at this hour? She opened the door, and Snape stood there, a set look on his face. Before she had a chance to say anything, he swept into the room, slamming the door with his foot as he pushed Hermione back onto the couch. He kissed her hungrily, wanting to taste her. She moaned as his erection pushed between her legs. Her hands moved to his robe, but he was already there, sliding it off in one swift motion. She started unbuttoning his white shirt, exposing his chest, then his stomach. His hand slid up her loose shirt, and cupped her breasts while she took off his shirt.

She looked up into his eyes, "Are you sure?" she asked. He hesitated a moment, and then kissed her hard.
"Not here, then...the bed."

He lifted her up and took her to the bed. He lifted the shirt over her head and threw it to the floor. He took her nipple into his mouth, lightly flicking his tongue over it before sucking hard. Her fingers clenched in his hair as she arched into him.

"Touch me," she whispered, her voice ragged. His fingers slowly trailed down her stomach until they got to the top edge of her knickers, where he traced his finger over and over before moving down between her legs. She took off her knickers, exposing herself for him. He touched her lightly, feeling how wet she was and amazed that he had done this to her. "Touch me," she said with more urgency this time. His finger finally stopped on her clit, and he pressed, just a bit. This slight contact made Hermione moan with pleasure and arch up to him, trying to increase the pressure. He moved in slow circles, watching her face and her body's reaction. She finally sat up and went to undo his belt. He removed his trousers and briefs and crawled on top of her, kissing her neck- nipping, biting, being sure to leave a few marks.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Hermione?" Snape asked this time, before they did something they couldn't take back.

"Yes. Are you?" she said, concerned, yet breathing heavily from her arousal. She saw Snape hesitate for a moment before kissing her again and hearing his whisper, "Yes, I'm sure."

He rose up slightly, and looked at her intently while asking, "Hermione, are you a virgin?"
Her red face flushed even more as she softly replied, "No, Severus." He nodded, and positioned himself to enter her. He looked directly into her eyes as he thrust slowly inside her. She gasped and her eyes went wide, her hands grasping at the back of his neck to pull him down into her, to kiss him deeply. Snape moaned, loving how tight she was...the noises he could draw from her. She was amazing to watch. He went slowly, kissing her, rubbing his hands all over her body as she writhed beneath him.

"More," she breathed heavily, "I need more, Severus. Harder." He sat back and grabbed her legs, placing them on his shoulders before lowering himself on her again. Her moaning was louder and more frantic now, yet his pacing hadn't changed any.

"Oh my god!" Hermione screamed, over and over, not being able to get over the wonderful sensation of his cock hitting her at just the right angle. Snape increased his speed, thrusting into her harder and faster while Hermione begged him not to stop. All of her moans and cries suddenly stopped as he felt her tense beneath him, her face contorting with pleasure as she gasped, "I'm coming...Oh, Severus."

He sped up, welcoming his orgasm- something he hadn't done in a long time. He came quickly after Hermione, collapsing on top of her as she held his body close to hers and gently kissed whatever part of his face she could. She was still shaking beneath him from her earlier orgasm, and Severus moaned at the thought as he came hard. They lay together silently, finally drifting off to sleep, Hermione's face relaxed and soft.


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A/N- I am SO sorry it has taken me so long to update! Let's just say I've been busy...
But, wow, Snape and Hermione finally went through with it. This was my first time writing any thing like this, so...let me know what you think.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and thanks for reading. :)