It's About Time

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Chapter Fourteen.

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Remus was positive he had never witnessed a more awkward scene in his entire life.

The Gryffindor common room was buzzing with conversation and there were plenty of students scattered about studying but in the corner nearest the fireplace, a group of seventh years sat in complete silence. The friends had gathered together, at Remus’ insistence, to study for a Potions exam, however, to the detriment of their studious endeavor, things were not going according to plan.

Hermione and Sirius were not speaking to one another, though neither had acknowledged this fact. When James then Remus and, finally, Peter had inquired as to the reasoning behind their mutual silent treatment, they had both feigned ignorance of any unusual behavior.

Remus, being the only individual privy to Sirius’ innermost thoughts, figured their recent actions, or lack thereof, was a result of something to do with their palpable attraction towards one another. Sirius had confessed his feelings for Hermione to the werewolf and though Remus could only assume that Hermione reciprocated his friend’s feelings, it was a nearly certain assumption… it was just bloody obvious, actually.

But the circumstances surrounding their recent coolness towards one another remained a mystery. In the two days since Sirius and Hermione had gone to London, there had not been an appropriate opportunity for Remus to ask his friend what had actually happened. By no accident either, it seemed. Sirius was apparently avoiding everyone for fear of being interrogated about that very topic.

James, too, was immensely curious about what had gone on in London though he was not terribly troubled by the fact that his best friend and his girlfriend were clearly upset with another. Truth be told, he rather liked not having to worry about catching Hermione gazing at Sirius or being caught in the middle as they glanced back and forth at one another in class and during meals and in the corridors… and, well, everywhere, as a matter of fact. Perhaps, they thought he had never noticed… but he most definitely had.

But now, for the first time in quite a while, when he was with Hermione he felt that she was paying him her undivided attention. And for that, he was not even remotely upset, even if it was a result of some sort of argument that she’d had with Sirius. The only distressing aspect of the whole thing was that Sirius had begun to make himself scarce. James supposed that Callie was likely enjoying more time with Sirius just as James was with Hermione.

But, he thought to himself wryly, Sirius would come around as he always did when he was ready to move on to another of the beautiful girls in school.

Though right now… at this particular moment, the four Marauders and Hermione found themselves all together. James sat on the sofa, Hermione to his left and Sirius to his right. Remus had settled into his favorite armchair across from them and Peter was sprawled on his belly upon the rug. All five teenagers were thoroughly engrossed in their own thoughts, none of them focused on Potions.

Arriving at the conclusion that this study session would not be very productive unless they actually spoke to one another, Remus ventured to engage the group in discussion.

“Why don’t we go over the properties of the Dreamless Sleep Potion since we know Slughorn will include that in the exam,” He spoke up.

There was no reaction from the group. He tried again.

“James? Do you want to add anything?”

James smirked. “Come on, mate. You know we’ll all pass with flying colors,” He jested confidently.

Remus shook his head and smiled at his friend’s arrogance.

“Alright then. Sirius? Hermione? Do either of you have anything to add?” He offered looking between them.

Hermione stiffened and looked at her open text book while Sirius shrugged at his friend.

“No,” They answered in unison, then wincing in turn as they heard themselves speak as one, went back to their previous positions of staring at opposite sides of the room.

“Great. This has been a most productive use of time,” Remus said sarcastically.

“I still don’t know the difference between the Dreamless Sleep Potion and the Draught of Peace,” whined Peter from his place on the floor, frowning at his parchment where he had scribbled some indecipherable notes.

Remus rubbed his eyes tiredly and said nothing, so James, who had no immediate plans to study for a test on which he was sure he would earn top marks, volunteered to help.

“The Draught of Peace uses powdered moonstone,” He said knowledgably as he slid off the couch to sit beside Peter. “The Dreamless Sleep Potion doesn’t, see?” He pointed to a list of potion ingredients in the text book.

James’ sudden vacancy had created an open space between Hermione and Sirius that to the two of them felt like a black hole, pulling them towards one another against their will, as they were both extremely aware that there was no longer a barrier separating them. Hermione gripped the arm of the sofa so as not to move even a centimeter towards the scowling boy at the opposite end of the couch.

The portrait hole swung open, just then, and Lily walked in followed by Frank Longbottom with his arm around Alice. They spotted their fellow seventh years near the fireplace and headed over to join them, Lily fell behind with hesitation.

“Hey everyone,” Frank addressed the group with a warm smile and the Marauders and Hermione each greeted their housemates in response.

Lily’s eyes immediately found James, who was hunched over Peter’s textbook, assisting his friend patiently. The bespectacled Head Boy looked up at Lily and nodded casually in her direction. He failed to ruffle his hair as he always had when she was nearby, she noticed with an odd sense of disappointment. She smiled at him tentatively… it had been a few weeks since she had placed that juvenile Perma-Stick Jinx on him and she wasn’t sure if he’d forgiven her as the only time they had spoken since was when dealing with their duties as Head Boy and Girl.

James smiled back at her pleasantly, before turning his attention to Hermione. He winked at her playfully and reached up to grab her hand, Lily, it seemed, was forgotten.

Hermione, meanwhile, was watching apprehensively as Lily approached them. It did not seem in Lily’s character to disclose someone’s personal troubles, but the fact that Lily had heard Hermione’s embarrassing confession about Sirius, made it almost impossible for Hermione to breathe properly when she was nearby.

But as Lily’s eyes fell upon Hermione, there was not the slightest trace of judgment within them. What she found instead was kindness, warmth… and, peculiarly… defeat. Lily smiled at her and transferred her gaze to the sofa where she surveyed Hermione’s hand linked with James’. Whispering something hurriedly to Alice, Lily excused herself politely and retreated to the dormitory.

“Mind if we join you?” Frank asked the group jovially as Lily ascended the stairs.

“Not at all,” James invited waving them to sit in the available space on the sofa.

Frank, though, was oblivious to Sirius and Hermione’s recent bought of silence and rather than sitting down between them, wedged he and Alice both between Sirius and the edge of the sofa, pushing Sirius up against the one person he wanted to be furthest from in the world; much to James’ discontent and Remus’ innate desire to maintain harmony among the group.

Hermione found herself helplessly crammed beside Sirius, her hand breaking away from her contact with James. The sofa certainly had not been intended to comfortably seat four grown teenagers, she thought exasperatedly. And she hated beyond comprehension that her body reacted so positively to his proximity even after the terrible things he had said to her. She swore she would never speak to him again but her staunch resistance waivered as his hand rested on his thigh and his fingers brushed against her leg, jolting awake parts of her that should always remain dormant among polite company.

Their elbows battled for reign over the miniscule space they were compelled to share.

Hermione turned her head away briskly, sending a wave of curly hair flying into Sirius’ face. He furiously nudged it away with his shoulder and forced himself to take a very deep, calming breath when the scent of her hair stirred his subconscious into a whirlwind of stimulation.

Sirius cursed himself silently for not being able to assert better control over his hormones and knew this would be a very embarrassing situation for him if he didn’t get away from Hermione at once. Jumping to his feet briskly, the conversation that had been taking place between Remus and Frank came to an abrupt halt.

“I’m going to bed,” Sirius said as he strode quickly away from them towards the stairs in a robe- billowing gait that could put Severus Snape to shame.

As he disappeared up the stairs, all eyes but Hermione’s watched him curiously before then turning to look at the young witch who was summoning every ounce of restraint to appear calm and not bolt from the room as Sirius had done.

James and Remus had both been observing their friends while paying little attention to their respective conversations and were not at all ignorant to the acute reactions the sardine-can like seating arrangement had elicited from Sirius and Hermione. Judging from the expression on Sirius’ face, Remus was able to tell that whatever had happened between the two of them had only intensified Sirius’ feelings for her. Neither seemed pleased to have been shoved together but their responses were hardly as negative as one would think given their recent actions.

Remus braced himself as he shifted his gaze to James who was still seated on the floor peering at the empty staircase that Sirius had so recently climbed.

James was horror-struck as he came to the eye opening realization.

Remus saw that James had finally caught on to what he himself had known for quite a while.

Sirius liked Hermione.

Everything suddenly clicked James’ mind. It was so obvious. How had he not realized it sooner?

The fleeting stares between Sirius and Hermione were not just an over abundance of his best friend’s flirtatious nature… he liked her.

Sirius genuinely liked her.

James turned his attention to Hermione as he took it all in. She twirled one of her long curls between her fingers and bit her lip, looking from the ceiling to the fireplace. The very picture of innocence.

He then turned to Remus whose expression gave away all the verification of Sirius’ treachery James needed to believe its accuracy. Remus knew as well then. ‘Was he the last to know?’, James asked himself. ‘Had he been merely playing the fool all this time as his friends sat idly by allowing Sirius to attempt to charm Hermione away from him?’

Unbeknownst to him, however, James had missed one critical point: the motivation behind Hermione’s reactions to his best friend.

Maybe he was blinded by his feelings for her or perhaps he had been so focused on his suspicions about Sirius’ intentions that he had failed to surmise that Hermione’s behavior was more meaningful than just an awkward response to Sirius’ advances. Whatever the reason was behind his unawareness, he decided that Hermione was blameless in this situation.

Sirius, though, had his playboy reputation working against him and, later, would have one hell of a lot of explaining to do.

Shooting Remus a glare that clearly said that this would be discussed later, James got to his feet and reached for Hermione.

“Let’s go for a walk, I need some air, I think,” He said quietly, trying to wrap his head around Sirius’ disloyalty.

Hermione paled. ‘Oh, Merlin, He knows,’ She panicked mutely.

James led her out of the common room by the hand and she held her breath, awaiting a barrage of anger that she knew was more than justified. After all, not only had she kissed James’ best friend but she had been mentally unfaithful to a much more explicit degree on a great number of occasions.

As the pair walked through the vacant corridors, she prayed silently, and not for the first time, that James had not recently learned legilimency.

Hermione was so caught up in her internal web of potential excuses for her horrid behavior that she gasped aloud when James stopped abruptly.

He clasped both of her hands in his own and pulled her close to him, as he spoke earnestly.

“Hermione, has Sirius ever… God, I can’t believe I’m actually about to say this but… has he ever… made a pass at you?”

That was not the barrage of anger that she had been expecting.

“Don’t be ridiculous, James!” She sputtered in response, choosing her words carefully. “Sirius is your best friend!”

Not exactly a lie, she thought… Sirius never had actually come on to her. He had kissed her, yes, but hadn’t she kissed him back?

“Yes, yes, he’s my best friend. I am painfully aware of that fact at the moment,” James growled and began to pace before her. “Haven’t you ever seen the way he looks at you? Because I sure as hell have.”

Hermione swallowed hard.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Ok… that time it was a lie.

“Gods, Hermione! Are you blind? He likes you!” James shouted, his words echoing down the corridor.

Hermione followed the sound of the retreating reverberation of his voice with her eyes. The hint of a smile played upon her lips but was washed away when reality ensnared her attention.

“No, James,” She said sadly. “He doesn’t.”

“How do you know for sure?” He asked, ceasing his pacing and staring at her intently as he awaited her explanation.

She stepped closer to him and reached up to straighten his glasses that had slid askew during his outburst.

“I know because Sirius would never allow anything to come between you two,” She answered plainly.

“But he – ”

“He doesn’t want me, James,” Hermione interrupted, her voice raised a degree. She took a long, shaky breath. She hadn’t prepared for the emotional blow of saying those words aloud. “He has Callie. That should be explanation enough.”

James nodded but was not entirely convinced.

Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and looked at the floor, trying to disguise her sadness.

“I’m getting tired,” She concluded. She gave James a long penetrating stare before turning back towards Gryffindor tower.

James watched her for a moment before trailing after her. He had no idea what to think now. He didn’t think he had misread Sirius but, perhaps, he had overreacted. Though, in addition to his concerns about his best friend, James was now wondering why Hermione had looked so miserable when she’d confessed that there was nothing between her and Sirius. Mentally adding that to the laundry list of worries he would ruminate over later in bed, he followed Hermione through the portrait hole.

She stopped at the foot of the girls’ stairs and whispered a goodnight to James. But before she could leave him, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head tenderly.

“Goodnight, Hermione.”

Their eyes met through the dim light. James’ were affectionate but marred with uncertainty while Hermione’s expression was plagued with anguish and guilt.

She managed a brief smile before jogging up the stairs and around the corner.

Hours later, Hermione still lay awake in bed. Sleep had evaded her all night as her brain refused to be put to rest.

This situation was beginning to get out of hand. She had managed to diffuse some of James’ concerns for the moment but if she did not learn to control herself around Sirius, it would not be long before James discovered the truth, that she was pathetically attracted to Sirius Black. ‘Honestly,’ she scolded herself, ‘You are no better than any of the ridiculous Marauder groupies in this school.’

What made it worse was that she was still so angry with Sirius. But no matter how rigorously she drilled that fact into her conscious mind, her body refused to obey. Why couldn’t she feel that way about James? His mere presence didn’t send an eruption of butterflies twirling about her stomach. She didn’t understand. James was wonderful… amazing even. Smart, funny, gorgeous. The kind of man Hermione could only have ever dreamed of having as her own. And she cared for him… she loved him… she loved him…

Over and over these words played in her head as she drifted off to sleep… she loved him… and Sirius’ face came into focus as her final clear thought.

At the same time, two teenage boys lay awake in their respective beds in a dorm across the tower. Neither speaking, neither moving… but both focusing on the very same thing.

One hoping he had the solitary affections of the girl he was growing to love.

The other wishing he could have what the other possessed.

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The next morning, Sirius sat up in bed and sighed heavily. He wasn’t sure what time he had eventually managed to fall asleep but he felt thoroughly exhausted; physically, mentally… just exhausted. He was not used to regrets and had never harbored so much ill will towards himself. Dwelling on it all was fatiguing in itself.

His argument with Hermione was a constant presence in his mind. The terrible things he had said to her pained him repeatedly, when replayed in his mind. The remorse was eating away at him, causing him actual physical pain, far worse than when Hermione had slapped him… he had deserved that and he deserved the pain he felt still.

A tease! What prompted him to hurl such a contemptible slight to a girl who was the furthest thing from a tease he had ever known? Maybe she had kissed him rather than James but he had been the one to initiate it. He initiated it and then threw it back in her face… all because he was too selfish to show any respect for his best friend’s relationship. Because he allowed her joking remarks to wound his damned pride.

He hadn’t meant a God damned word that he had shouted at her.

Hermione, on the other hand, had been undeniably accurate about something… James was ten-times the man he would ever be.

He tried to convince himself that good would come of the awful words he’d said though, that there was a silver lining beyond this accursed cloud. Hermione would be driven back into James’ arms where she belonged, he thought bitterly. His best friend would finally have the happiness he deserved.

And Sirius? Well, for now he had Callie… and someday maybe love, too. At least now, he had a certifiable excuse to stay away from Hermione. She could haunt his dreams and invade his every thought, but he would stay as far away from her as was possible from this point onward. That is what she wanted anyways.

With that depressing thought in mind, he swung around in bed and placed his feet heavily on the cold wooden floor.

James chose that moment to come into the dormitory from the showers, dressed in fresh robes, his hair still a bit damp. He saw Sirius and looked away quickly, rubbing a towel roughly over his head to finish drying his unruly black hair.

He picked up his glasses from the night stand and putting them on, glanced over at Sirius. James sat down purposefully across from him on his own bed.

“Padfoot,” James addressed him seriously.

Sirius nodded in return. “Prongs.”

“I want to know what happened between you and Hermione in London,” James demanded coolly.

Sirius’ head snapped up, suddenly alert. “Nothing of consequence,” He stated, matching James’ tone.

“Don’t treat me like a fool, Padfoot. We’ve known each other too long for that,” James shot back. “Something happened between you two and I want to know what it was.”

“Why don’t you go ask Hermione?” Sirius retorted, pulling himself to his feet.

“Well, you both have been awfully secretive about the whole thing. Neither of you will say a word about what happened and now you aren’t speaking to each other at all! I’m left to my own devices to guess what went on while you two were alone in your parents’ house – ”

“That’s what you think?! You think I shagged your girlfriend, James?”

James leapt to his feet, his face flushed with anger. He shouted “What would you think if you were me?! Do you really think I haven’t seen the way you look her?”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!”

Remus entered from the bathroom just then and when he saw his friends standing face to face, feet apart, poised to fight, he ran over and shoved himself between them, forcing them away from one another. His lycanthropy lent immense strength when he chose to assert it.

“What the hell is going on?” He commanded in a furious growl.

Remus looked from James to Sirius, neither responded. Sirius heatedly shoved himself away from Remus but remained glaring fiercely at James.

“ANSWER ME!” James bellowed, struggling against the werewolf who was restraining him against his bedpost with both hands.

Sirius turned away, ignoring James completely.

James fought against Remus’ grip and tried to lunge at Sirius. “Turn around and answer me!”

With a deep breath to maintain the little composure he had left, Sirius pulled a towel out of his trunk and tossed it over his shoulder as he retreated to the showers without another word.

Remus held James pinned against the bedpost for another moment until he was sure that his friend wouldn’t go charging after Sirius. Finally, when James had stopped struggling, Remus pushed him back until he sat heavily on the bed.

“Tell me you two were not just fighting over a girl. Please!” Remus snapped. He loomed over James, exuding a distinctly frightening presence.

James was silent. He flexed his hands that had been balled up in fists and glared out the window.

“James!”

“What do you want me to say, Remus?” He asked in a tone of defeat. “He wants her. You know he does.”

Remus shook his head angrily.

“You two are like brothers, James. You’ve been friends since first year and you are going throw that all away because of some girl?” He knew his words were harsh but there was a point to be made. He had to get through to his friend.

James jerked his head up to stare at Remus in disbelief.

“She isn’t just some girl, Remus! Don’t call her that!”

“Fine. But is she worth losing your best friend?”

“Some best friend he is,” James grumbled under his breath.

“For Merlin’s sake, James! Listen to yourself!” Remus shouted.

James buried his face in his hands and groaned in frustration at the battle that raged within him. Remus sat across from him and forced himself to take a calming breath.

“This is Sirius you’re talking about,” Remus repeated in a firm yet solemn voice.

“Does- Does he… love her?” James asked slowly, squeezing his eyes shut as though blocking out the impending answer he feared.

“Do you?” Asked Remus cleanly.

Taking off his smudged glasses, James looked up at his lycanthropic friend.

“I think I- I don’t know. I’m just… drawn to her, I guess. It’s strange… different,” He managed to sputter, however, incoherently.

“Well,” Remus began cautiously. “Then, it may be best if you figured out exactly how you feel about her before you engage in anymore dorm room brawls with Padfoot.”

James opened his mouth to respond when his friend’s words sank in and he ran a hand through his already ruffled hair.

“He told you didn’t he? That he likes her…”

Remus raised his eyebrows to his friend, refusing to confirm or deny the question. Sirius had confided in him and he was not going to divulge his secrets.

“Does it matter?”

James furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Of course it matters, Moony! If he is expecting to… compete with me… for her then I need to know. If he is sneaking around behind my back, then I have to know.”

Remus leaned forward and looked his friend dead in the eye.

“Compete with you? Sneaking around behind your back? Prongs, does any of that sound like something Sirius would actually do?”

James considered the question for a minute.

“No,” He admitted. “No, it doesn’t. But you have to agree that he hasn’t exactly been himself lately.”

“Maybe not. But after all these years, don’t you think he deserves the benefit of the doubt?”

James nodded. “It’s just that Sirius – ”

“You have something you want to say to me?!” Boomed a voice from the doorway.

James’ expression hardened as he stood up and turned to face Sirius. Clearly the shower had done nothing to assist him in relinquishing his fury… in fact, he looked angrier than he had when he had left.

“Yeah, I do, actually!” The anger boiling up in James once more.

Remus was prepared this time, however, and sprung into action before the two boys could begin another altercation.

“You two can talk when you’ve both calmed down. Prongs, why don’t you go down to breakfast?”

“What?” James hissed at him.

“Go,” Remus ordered threateningly.

James stared defiantly at Remus before throwing a glare at Sirius and stalking out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Remus shook his head. So much for progress, he thought sarcastically.

He turned to Sirius and raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to talk about it?” He offered.

“No,” Growled Sirius, as he rummaged through his trunk, tossing miscellaneous possessions aside, searching for a shirt.

“You would rather fight then, is that it?” Remus retorted ironically.

Sirius, however, was in no mood for irony. He slammed the lid of his trunk shut and stormed past his friend.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO!!” He bellowed, whirling around and smashing his fist into the window, shattering the pane of glass in an earsplitting crash. Wincing in pain, he withdrew his hand and screamed a curse to the skies through his rage-ragged breath.

Remus took a hold of Sirus’ shoulders and sat him down resolutely, pulling his hand out so he could examine it.

“Madam Pomfrey will be thrilled to hear the explanation for this one,” Remus sighed before forcibly taking his bleeding friend to the hospital wing.

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Sirius’ absence in every class that day was apparent. All day, their lessons were noticeably quieter at the distinct lack of the man that radiated charm and charisma, a man whom everyone took notice of when he entered a room. He was missed.

Remus related to Peter and James what had happened right away. Peter immediately wanted to scurry up to the hospital wing to check on his friend but Remus stopped him, assuring him that Sirius was fine and being patched up by Madam Pomfrey. Indeed, it was James’ reaction that Remus was most interested in. James’ first instinct was to do exactly as Peter had intended to do, bolt upstairs to the infirmary. The reality of the injury and its motivating factor though, kept him firmly in his seat, unwilling to make amends after that morning’s occurrence.

His concern was evident, however, and Remus could tell that he was fighting every urge to inquire for additional details.

Hermione too refused to allow herself to run to Sirius’ side upon being informed of the incident. Her place was with James and she wouldn’t permit herself to hurt him anymore than she already had.

It did not help that rumors had permeated the student body that James Potter and Sirius Black had fought. As they regretfully learned, their argument had been overheard throughout the Gryffindor Tower and the resultant breaking window created a dramatic flair that made the gossip mill turn ever faster.

By lunchtime, the Marauders were the subject of whispers, more so than usual, as speculation ran rampant that the two best friends, attached at the hip everyday for six years, had ended their friendship over a girl. Remus, James and Peter’s refusal to acknowledge the rumors and questions that bombarded them throughout the day only seemed to fan the flames of scandal all the more.

Sirius did not make an appearance until dinnertime, when he turned up with a bandaged right hand and sat apart from his friends, at the far end of the Gryffindor table beside Frank. Before Sirius’ concerned roommate could comment on his injury, Callie came rushing over from her own table, embracing her boyfriend tenderly, fawning over him.

Curious eyes throughout the room watched as Callie attempted to extract information from him, questions that Sirius was apparently refusing to answer as he shrugged off her doting gestures. Before even taking the time to eat anything, Sirius mumbled an apology to Callie and rose from the bench to leave. The pretty blonde tried to tag along but he pushed her back gently, shaking his head. Rising to his full height, he frowned in annoyance when he saw hundreds of eyes quickly look away as though they hadn’t been watching his every move.

Remus promptly got up and strode over to him, clearly attempting to convince Sirius to stay for dinner as he gestured towards the open seats near their friends. During their hushed conversation, James glanced over at Sirius, both remaining expressionless due to the vast audience of eager onlookers. Sirius muttered an irritated goodbye to Remus and departed quickly, refusing to meet any of the prying stares that followed him.

The moment he disappeared into the Entrance Hall the room erupted in animated whispers. A hurt and confused Callie slowly returned to the Ravenclaw table where she sat dejectedly and while Remus took his previous seat among his housemates. He was joined momentarily by Nadine, who knew not to press him for details. She simply rubbed his shoulders comfortingly and allowed him his silence, raising her eyebrows threateningly at any one who dared attempt to extract gossip from him.

Beside Remus, James frowned at his plate, pushing his food around aimlessly with his fork. He felt someone shift into the vacant seat on his left.

“What’s got Black’s knickers in a twist?” Lily jested amicably, trying to assist in making light of the situation to incite the missing smile on James’ face.

“Not now, Lily. Ok?”

“Oh… I’m sorry. I was just teasing…” She trailed off, her face growing warm with embarrassment. She really had only wanted to make him laugh.

James returned his attention to his plate giving Lily the opportunity to observe him; it had been so long since they had been this close. She had almost forgotten how nice he always smelled, the musky scent of his cologne sent a long forgotten waiver of yearning through her body and she wondered why she had to be so damned stubborn all those years that he wanted to be with her.

“Can I tell you something, James?” She asked tentatively.

James nodded though his eyes were had fixed on the door through which Sirius had exited and Hermione had yet to enter.

As much as Lily felt James deserved to know about Hermione’s inadvertent affirmation of her feelings for Sirius, Lily knew that she couldn’t tell him, it wasn’t her place. Instead, she bypassed that topic and decided to be completely honest with him about a different matter entirely.

“I miss you,” She blurted out quickly. That had been more difficult to admit than she had expected.

As if in slow motion, James turned his head to face Lily. He was certain he had misheard.

“Pardon?”

Lily chewed her bottom lip and fought to clarify. “I miss you, James. I miss… being friends with you...”

James withdrew slightly, with puzzlement. “We are friends, Evans.”

She emitted a brief, petulant laugh at his use of her surname. “Not like we were. For a while we were – but I suppose that was before…”

“Oh… ” James stated, when he realized the point she was trying to make. “It’s just that I’m with – ”

“I know.”

Lily smiled reluctantly. He was even more striking when flummoxed, she reflected. Her brevity did nothing to disguise the emotion she exuded. In short, her silence spoke volumes.

“Oh,” James uttered again, the impact of what she’d said and even more so, what she hadn’t said, bowled over him like a train at full speed.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw Hermione enter the room and her face fell. James caught Lily’s reaction and turned to see what had caused it. He did a double take, swiveling his head back and forth between the two girls, torn as to what he ought to do. The shock of Lily’s confession had not worn off and he was intrigued to hear what more she had to say.

Lily rested her hand upon James’ arm and cocked her head with a small smile.

“I hope you’re happy, James,” She said with the purest sincerity. Then as an afterthought, she added, “You really deserve it.”

Lily stood and nodded hello as Hermione approached them. She surrendered the seat beside James with a slight gesture of her hand and took one final look at him over her shoulder before leaving the room.

James pulled his eyes away from Lily’s retreating form and turned to Hermione, offering her a weary smile as she squeezed his hand.

“You look tired,” She said with concern.

He nodded. “Yeah, it has been a really long day. Where have you been?” He asked soothingly.

“In the library,” She answered. Then having noticed that one particular Marauder wasn’t present, she added hesitantly, “How is Sirius?”

James tensed visibly and looked down at the table. “He’s fine.”

“That’s good.”

The fight between the two friends and Sirius’ ensuing injury when combined with James’ conflicting thoughts, had clearly taken a toll on him.

James looked around the room and noticed that they were still the subjects of a great number of stares. He sighed heavily. “Let’s get out of here, eh?”

He pulled her to her feet, saying goodbye to Peter and clapping Remus on the shoulder as they walked outside into the cold evening.

They strolled wordlessly for quite a while before James stopped near the north bank of the lake. This was the place their walks usually led them when they would spend time together on the grounds. The dozens of times they had wandered about the lake with one another, they had shared a great deal about themselves and come to learn much about the other. James felt unusually protective of Hermione. More than physical attraction, he was aware of an unspoken connection between them, almost as though they had met before. Indeed, she seemed to understand him better than anyone, apart from his friends.

For Hermione, James provided a consoling presence that even before they had grown as close as they were, had been reassuring for the girl who was lost in a time other than her own. She had felt so strongly about him the moment her eyes first met his. She had been so sure it was love… even now she was certain it couldn’t be anything but. Though, the bond they had formed surpassed thoughts of mere romance, moonlight and roses… they had a companionship.

As they stood together, listening to the rhythmic slapping of the water upon the shore, Hermione leaned into James and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, each drawing comfort from the other after a trying day.

Hermione shifted to rest her head against his chest and he secured his arms around her holding her close. The beating of his heart lulled her away from her worrisome thoughts.

Placing a finger under her chin, James tilted her face upward. He scanned her face pensively, this was the point when he had always backed away… hesitating to kiss her for reasons he had never been able to make any sense of. But, he thought, in light of everything that had taken place and all he had been willing to sacrifice for the girl before him, it was now or never.

He lowered his face towards her and let his lips brush against hers lightly, her warm breath cutting through the frosty air. Hermione closed her eyes but did not move.

When she didn’t pull back, James dipped his head and drew her in as he covered her mouth with his own. Her hands moved up to his chest, the crisp night air chilling her body and she edged closer to his warmth. She parted her lips slightly and slowly returned the kiss. Timidly, it began to deepen as they experienced one another for the first time, shyly aware of their every movement.

They pulled apart gradually as the kiss slowed. James’ hands were fixed on Hermione’s shoulders as he drew a shaky breath, their eyes met in piercing stares.

“Oh…” James muttered for the third time that day, his forehead creased with perplexity.

“Yeah…” Returned Hermione, slightly awe struck.

Neither looked away from the other as they both pondered an identical unforeseen dilemma… something wasn’t right.

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