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One's True Nature

By: Kaspjo
folder Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating: Adult +
Chapters: 30
Views: 13,803
Reviews: 69
Recommended: 0
Currently Reading: 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
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Confessions of two wounded hearts

14

To say Draco was very disappointed by the turn of events, it would have been the kind interpretation. He thought since Harry had continued the kiss that that meant the ice was broken, at least as far as Harry deciding he would give them a chance. However, though Harry had consented to return home, things were still just as fridgid and Harry almost looked the same as when Draco first found him, despite a goodnight's sleep. Draco sat on the edge of Harry and Ginny's bed, watching Harry with the upmost anguish combined curiosity. He never realized just how stubborn Harry could be.

"I'm not ready for this." Harry breathed out after minutes of tense silence. "I want it, I mean, I have thought about it before, but this is just too fast Draco." Harry's shoulders were slumped as he stared ahead out of the window. Harry wasn't about to do this now, there were just too many things that had happened in twenty years. He had kids, a wife until the divorce was final. A high ranking job. He was angry at himself for leting himself give in to the kiss. He looked at Draco's expression reflected in the window pane and hated himself even more. He had to be more careful about Draco's feelings in this too. He didn't know what to do from here.

"Harry, I'm sorry, this is my fault-" Draco started to apologize. Harry started to shake his head and Draco wanted more than anything to sweep him up in a furious grasp and shake the indescision out of him.

"No, it's mine, I should have put a stop to it. I am the one at fault." Harry said with a sigh.

"Alright Harry, fine. It's all you." Draco got up to leave. "It's all about you in this-" And he motioned with his hand in exasperation. "crazy, whatever this is." and with that he left Harry with only the sound of his cane as he left the room with a weak limp.

"Professor Snape," Harry smiled sadly. "I wish I had some of your courage and bravery right now." He whispered the words in soft recognition of his own cowardice for something as simple as love. He dug his nails into the windowsill as he continued to stare out into a soft winter evening, just before dark. He sighed in anguish. The feelings were only worsened by the fact that Draco had allowed the Weasely and Potter families to stay at the manor for the chistmas celebration. He didn't know if he could go there.

~-~-~-~

Draco sat down in the livingroom on the sofa. He found a wizarding magizine to intrest himself in. He didn't want to engage in the likely conversations that looked to be on the faces of all the people in the room. Ron had amused himself with wizarding chess, but Ginny and Hermione looked at him with deep concern, or curiosity on their faces, he didn't much care to know exactly why.

"Are we engaged in some sort of staring contest ladies?" Draco said irritably pretending to be very interested in this particular page in the magizine. They both seemed to get the hint and went to another room. Draco guessed they would converse about what had possibly taken place between Harry and himself. He tried not to feel a bit violated by that thought, but he did, he felt that far too many people understood his personal feelings for Harry. He continued to read and soon found himself all alone in the room. He felt he might have a moment or two of peace when a boy came running into the running into the room fleeing another boy who was striking him quite hard on the head and shoulders.

"Ow, James! Stop, I didn't Ow!" Draco was about to act on the scene, but another boy burst into the room from the doorway. Scorpious sprang himself at James and pushed the older boy out of the way. He snatched up Albus in a protective hug and glared at James, who now looked absolutely furious. Draco could only watch, slightly shocked by his son's actions.

"Are you alright Albus?" Scorpious asked lightly. The boy nodded, with some tears in his eyes. Scorpious looked at Albus with a soft expression.

"Oh, that's nice of your boyfriend to protect you Al, you're so pathetic." James' words were dripping with anger as he spoke. Draco looked at the deep and furious eyes of his own son, amazed at how powerful they looked.

Scorpious continued his protective hug, glaring darkly at the older boy. "I may not have my wand James, but hit him again and I will hurt you!" And Draco knew he should stop this, but he was litteraly having a epiphany right this moment, something about the way his son protected the youngest Potter. He wondered if Harry ever had someone who had protected him that way. He was brought back to his senses when James struck Scorpious in the side of his face with his fist.

"James Potter, if you strike another blow to my son or anyone else, I shall teach you about the dragon fire jinx." All three boys froze, obviously they had been unaware of their audience because all three lost a bit of color. Draco was going to scold them and discover the nature of the trouble when Harry Yelled as he came down stairs.

"JAMES POTTER! MY OFFICE! NOW! WAIT THERE UNTIL I COME FOR YOU-" Harry's glare was irritated and angry. "I have had enough of you picking on your brother James, you test my patience." Lilly and Rose slipped into the house and up to Lilly's room admist the chaos. "How many more times must I tell you not to do that?" Harry was near the end of his rope, Draco could tell he looked conflicted about what he should say to his oldest son. Scorpious and Albus just stood parted, but Scorpious had an arm around Albus' slumped shoulders. James eventually left for Harry's office. Harry wasn't going to follow right away, he was too angry.

Draco saw Harry's outburst as proof of the fact that Harry was cracking under the pressure of everything, not just Ginny's divorce of him, or his feelings for him. He was amazed Harry kept it together the more he thought of all the things Harry had done in the last twenty or so years, the more he was amazed that Harry stood before him. He hated himself more now, when he thought of how he treated Harry all those years in school.

Once James had parted for the office, Harry turned to the two boys. He walked to them and knelt down to look at his youngest boy in his face, but the boy refused to meet his eyes. "I keep telling you son, if you let him pick on you, he'll just keep doing it. You've got to stand up, on your own two feet, people can't be there to help you everytime there's a problem." Harry drew the boy's chin up, looking into his sad eyes. "Come here." Harry took his son in a hug.

"I'm sorry dad, I will do better." Albus sniffled. Scorpious looked like he wanted to speak, but he didn't. Ron and Ginny came into the living room and saw the situation, looking confused. Harry stood up, unaware of their presence. He turned to go to his office, but stopped when he saw them.

"Could you two wait in our room Gin? I have something to talk with you about." Harry's words were worn and tired.

"Sure," said Ginny with a small smile and she and Ron went upstairs to Harry's and her room. "Come on Ron." She coaxed. Harry turned and walked into the office to speak with James.

The office was still a mess. Harry wasn't particularly glad to be here under the circumstances. He tried so hard with James, but it seemed his son was determined to be rebellious and all around awful to his little brother. He was at the end of his rope with the boy as he sat down and steepled his hands, sighing exasperated and upset that they were having this conversation yet again.

"I'm disappointed in you James." Harry said camly.

"When aren't you?" James sneered.

"When don't you deserve it?" Harry retorted more by accidental sudden thought than purposeful. "You know, it wouldn't bother me so much if you just teased him in good fun, or it was mutual games of that kind, but James, you enjoy making him cry. I can't stand that, it's sick, it's wrong, so help me James. Why?" He closed his eyes, trying to control his anger.

James shrugged his shoulders. "Don't give me that bullshit." Harry was losing his temper. "Well, I don't have a degree in mental health, so, next time this happens, we'll go to St, Mungo's maybe they'll know." Harry let out an angry breath. "In the meantime, you can help Uncle George in his joke shop for the remainder of the hogmeade trips this year." Harry got up. "This is very disappointing James, I don't like doing this." He said truthfuly, a hint of defeat in his voice. "You may go help Aunt Hermione in the kitchen."

~-~-~-~-~-~

Harry didn't want to have this conversation, in fact, he felt like he had to drag himself the final steps of the stairs and over to his bedroom door. He turned the knob and with a cleansing breath, he pushed the door open to reveal Ginny and Ron sitting on the edge of the bed, they'd been talking. Harry could tell that from the awkward gazes on each of their faces. He sat between them. He didn't know where to start, this was all still confusing.

"So ummm, where do we start?" Harry asked nervously. Ginny fumbled with a paper in the pocket of her cooking apron.

"I figured I should let you know what I was asking for." Ginny said softly and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder as he unfolded the paper and read it. The first thing that jumped out at him was the date.

"This was four months ago," He said softly. Finally realizing that this wasn't just recent. He'd let his marraige fall apart. Tears were falling down his cheeks. "You really were going to leave me Gin, I thought I was-" He took a shaky breath. She squeezed his shoulder and Ron an arm across his shoulders for added support. "I didn't even realize how awful I must have been." Now Ginny was crying.

"Harry, don't ever think that." She said sniffing. "I still love you, we just-" She thought for a moment. "Need different things now." Harry didn't make a response. He looked over the paper and kept reading it. He nodded. He thought he deserved worse than this, considering how Ginny must be feeling.

"This is really generous of you, Gin." Harry said tears struggling out of his green eyes. "I feel like I lied to you, like you didn't know and I did. I didn't-" Harry was shaking. Ron tried to tighten his grip. Are you sure this is all you need? I can give you more money, I-" She put a finger to his lips.

"You are too noble for your own good, Harrold James Potter." She smiled. "No dear, it's alright what I have asked for. I planned to take the position of Charms teacher at Hogwarts next year, with the kids in school all year, this place is just too lonely." He nodded.

"You asked for the house, does that mean you want me to move out?" Harry asked, wiping his eyes with a hankerchief that Ron had offered.

"No Harry, we don't hate eachother." She smiled sadly at the pain her husband was in, the obvious self torment he was enduring, all over his features. "I don't mind if you want to stay here forever, but we just aren't going to be married anymore." Harry shook his head again and gave a soft cry.

"What about the kids Ginny?" He asked, clearly this was his most pressing fear now.

"We'll have to talk to them at some point, but we will wait until summer, if that suits you better." She looked at him with a gentle gaze. She saw him now, as she had in school, strong yet fragile underneath. She kissed his temple.

"I feel like everyone is pushing me into this new life, I'm not ready." He winced in agony, fighting his emotions.

"Mate," Ron finally spoke. "I have known you for close to thirty years. You are the most stubborn and conflicted man I have ever met. If we didn't push you to do things for yourself, you'd live your life always doing for others and never being truly happy. Harry, you're in love with Draco Malfoy, if you look at the evidence, you have since school. Quit hiding it, be happy for once mate, just be happy. We care for you ok?"

Harry nodded and with that, the best friend and now former wife left him alone with his thoughts.

~-~-~-~-

Harry didn't know how long he sat alone in the room before there was a knock at the door. The door came open before he could answer.

"May I come in?" Draco asked quietly. "Sorry to just barge in, but I thought you might be asleep or something."

"It's alright, yeah, you can come in." Harry said awkwardly, he didn't know why he felt sudden excitement in his chest. Harry watched as Draco limped on his cane to the edge of the bed and tried to sit down carfuly. He almost slipped and instantly, Harry stabalized him.

"Thanks." Draco said, his breath caught by the sudden fear of crashing to the floor. "Long day I guess." He breathed out. They sat there for several awkward moments, niether sure of how to start talking to the other. Harry fidgeted and Draco just breathed. Then after several tense moments passed, Draco spoke.

"Harry," He said in a even tone. "I want to make you a deal."

"What kind of deal?" Harry asked confused.

"I know you said you aren't ready for a relationship with me yet. That's ok, but then, I want to do something for you, to help you. No strings Harry, just hear me out." Harry nodded his attention focused. "How long has it been since you had a real vacation?" Draco asked him raising an eyebrow.

"Ummm, we went to Australia last summer. I got called back though." Harry looked sad at the memory.

"Then, I want you to take a couple of months off from your Job Harry. No stresses, no sleepless nights, no worries for that time. You can come with me, we'll go after the holiday and just take a break from it all. Then, I want you to do one other thing-" Draco said gently, taking Harry's hand absently.

"What's that?" Harry asked.

"I want you to let me protect you." Harry looked at him confused. "I want you to be Harry, Just Harry. Not Harry Potter, savior of the wizarding world, or the great head auror. Just Harry, for just this one stretch of time, cut out all the pretext of your life and let someone else protect you. The way no one ever has."

And Harry hung his head in embaressment. "I don't know who Harry is anymore." He admitted. Draco looked at his downcast gaze.

"I won't hurt you Harry." Draco said gently.

"I-" And Harry was cut off by a knock at the door. "Who is it?" He called too loudly, obviously irritated at the interuption. Hermione entered the room, carrying a Daily Prophet, special evening eddition.

"Sorry," She apologized to them both, "But I thought you needed to see this." She handed the paper to Draco and turned around and left them alone.

Draco's jaw dropped. Harry leaned over and read the bolded black letters: MINISTER HOPEFULL DRACO MALFOY: SNOGGING STRANGER AT THE QUIDDITCH TOURNAMENT. Harry's own face dropped with horror. Draco looked pale.

"Well there goes my chance to be minister." He smiled bitterly. "It's ok, I probably wasn't going to win anyway." And Harry heard the clear hurt in his voice as he said it. Something in that moment reminded Harry of something, something from a long time ago, forgotten, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Why did you run for Minister anyway?" Harry asked, then kicked himself for sounding too casual.

"My wife, she thought it was a good idea. She always was trying to give me things to do that would help me forgive myself for my past." He smiled as his eyes glistened at the memory. "She thought I would be able to do so many good things that I would just one day be fine. I was such a mess for years, I still am sometimes, but-" He started shaking and tears came more freely. "I wanted to win, for her, she deserved it. She deserved to see that all that time she spent caring for me wasn't in vain." And then he put his head in his hands. "I still can't believe she's gone."

Harry watched Draco, he felt as if he'd been struck by lightning. He remembered why the moment seemed so familiar. In school, when he thought back to it, he always felt like his feelings for Draco were purely sexual and somewhat hormone driven. He'd buried the truth so often under his percieved feelings for Ginny that he'd forgotten the day in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, not the moment itself, but the feelings of compassion and love, yes, it had been love in that moment. He had wanted more than anything to hug the boy into his arms then, he still did.

"Draco, look at me." He said gently. Then he saw the watery silver eyes look at him and he knew, he'd found the truth. Ron was right, they had all been right. "Don't give up yet." He leaned in and they touched foreheads. "I love you Draco, I have since I can remember, please, don't give up yet." And they kissed, both shedding years of want and lost feelings and fears and self loathing, forgetting all their troubles.

Harry spoke when they finally broke the kiss. "It's a deal Draco, the one you asked me about." He said breathing hard with passion. "But if you get this, I want something in return."

Draco rasied an eyebrow. "What?" He smiled in surprise.

"Call me potter, I used to love it when you'd call me that. You have no idea how many times I wank-" And then Harry realized what he was confessing and blushed beat red.

Draco smirked, one of his old 'potter special smirks' and he leaned in. "Potter." he whispered in the man's ear. Then coaxed him to lay down on the bed. "Potter." He said softly, then he kissed Harry, hard. "Potter." He grabbed Harry's crotch and was greeted with a deep moan. "Potter." He was enjoying the look of bliss on Harry's face as he stroked him gently. "Potter." And then they were taking their clothes off, the temptation far beyond stopping. "Potter." And Harry was putty in Draco's hands.


End Chapter 14
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Haha, chapter 15 will have some more sexy things, promise. However, all is not what it seems as Harry remembers he's got an enemy in the ministry and Blaise is still missing. Draco tries to fix the damage from the picture. Please Review.
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