Always Loving You

AN: I'm so sorry that this took so long to update! I just had to think things trhought before finally I has some idea what has been going on and so on sure I should say something like that so that one one understands what the hell I am talking about).

And I must say.. this might be the longest chapter so far!

Now the really serious stuff is about to begin. Anyway, now Draco is in the clinic and hopefully all his problems will be resolved there. Harry will be in the picture. A lot.


Chapter fourteen


"Is there anything else you'd like to talk about, Draco?"

Draco glanced at his therapist before looking out of the window. He was sitting a very comfortable armchair, knees drawn against his chest. He had been here for two weeks now and Harry had not come visit him yet. He felt a little betrayed by it but deep in his heart he knew that Harry was giving him the space he had asked for so long ago.

He thought about the question the therapist, Simon, had asked him. It was the same question at the end of their every session. Sometimes he talked about his daughter or his childhood.

Simon's question brought his out of his musings.

"Has your husband come to see you yet?"

Draco looked at him without emotion displayed on his face. "He's not my husband," he simply said before turning to observe the life outside again.

"You are yet to mention him," the man stated and looked at Draco expecting to hear an answer.

Draco didn't look back he stayed still waiting to be released and get back on his other daily routines.

"Well, that is all for today. I'll see you again on Thursday."

With that Draco was dismissed. He walked out of the office and straight into his own room which was on the other side of the building. He sighed as he closed the door sliding down on the floor. The shaking of his hands was getting worse and he tried to suppress it by hugging them around his knees. He didn't feel at calm at all.

He wanted Harry to see him so badly. Now that he knew Harry was back in his life he couldn't help but think about him. How was he doing with Hannah alone? Was he missing him at least a little bit? Why hadn't he even send a letter or something, anything but this silence that seemed to swallow him whole.

~*****~

"Harry?" a little girl's voice called out shaking Harry out of his thoughts.

"What is it, Hannah?" he asked.

The young girl seemed to hesitate which made Harry slightly worried. She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. "I was just wondering if we could go see Dad."

Harry relaxed at her words and a smile spread across his face. "Of course we can."

Hannah smiled too. "Thanks, Harry."

He chuckled at his daughter almost bouncing out of the living-room.

~*****~

Draco was reading a book as someone knocked on his door opening it just to pass a message. "There is someone here to see you, Mr Malfoy."

The door snapped shut as Draco got up from a couch that was placed near the large window he had in his room. His heart leaped at the thought of Harry and possibly Hannah. He wondered briefly how Hannah's therapy was progressing as he placed the book down on a coffee table next to the couch.

He walked to open his door but when he reached it someone else opened it and he found his arms full of his only daughter. "Daddy!" the girl in his arms cried. He had to smile there was nothing else he could have done. He fell on his knees and hugged the girl tightly. "Hannah," he choked out.

He seemed too emotional, even though he was calm just a minute ago. He raised his head as the door clicked shut and saw Harry standing there looking at him with his intense green eyes.

Then the tears spilled from his eyes. His prayers had been answered finally.

~*****~

Harry didn't know what to expect as he stepped inside Draco's room with Hannah. Their daughter immediately rushed to hug her father. He shut the door after himself and met the gaze of his lover. He stood there watching his lover and his daughter talking to each other.

"Oh, daddy, I've missed you so much," Hannah said kissing her father's cheek happily.

Draco chuckled. "I've missed you too, Angel." He kissed her back and she giggled.

Harry felt as if he was intruding their privacy but he still stood his ground. He knew that he had every right to be there with his fiancé and their little girl.

Draco's eyes searched for his the second time. After staring into the grey eyes he knew he had to say something.

"Umm, hi," his weak attempt brought a smile on Draco's lips.

Draco stood up and walked to were he was standing at the door. "I've missed you too, Potter," he said and kissed him lightly on the lips.

Draco stepped away from him after that and guided Hannah to sit on the couch by the window. "Now tell me how Harry's been spoiling you while I'm away."

Harry laughed at his lover's comment making both him and Hannah to look at him. He composed himself and gave Draco a challenging look. "Are you sure you want to know, Malfoy?"

~*****~

Harry took Hannah home and return to the clinic. He walked towards Draco's room lost in thought. He wanted to talk to Draco in private. Hopefully his lover would let him stay the night. Earlier he had asked from the staff if it was all right to spend a night in Draco's room and they hadn't objected it in the least.

Oh, god how he had missed Draco. Just to be able to sleep next to him would be a dream come true. Bloody two weeks he had had to suffer without him by his side but that was about to change.

He reached the door and listened to be sure that Draco was alone. Opening the door he carefully slipped in as he saw Draco sitting his back towards the door reading a book.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Draco spun around. "Ha-Harry, what are you doing here?"

He smiled at his confused fiancé. "I wanted to talk to you."

Draco sighed. "All right. What do you want to talk about?" He lowered the book on the table and looked at Harry.

Harry walked over to him sitting next to him on the couch. "I don't want - no, I am not asking what you and your therapist have talked about but I want to know if you have been able to talk about what happened to you."

Immediately after the question Draco looked away. "I don't need to explain myself to you."

Harry ran a hand trough his hair in stress. "I'm not asking you to. Have you been able to open up? That is what I want to know. You need to deal with it, Draco," he said.

Draco jumped up from the couch. His face was red with anger. "The fuck I need to deal with anything! You come here and start pestering me with that kind of questions! Go to hell, Potter!" He stalked over the other side of the room and sat on his bed.

"Draco!" Harry exclaimed. "You are being childish and you very well know that." He also stood up taking a step towards his distressed lover. "You can continue to make yourself believe that your only problem is alcohol but that won't change the fact that you need to solve your other ones too." By the time he stopped talking, he had reached Draco.

Draco started at him vehemently. "You know nothing about my problems," he hissed from between his teeth. "You weren't there to save me that day, fuck, you didn't even try to stop the Aurors from taking me! You just stood there watching as my life turned into hell," he said, spitting on Harry's face.

Harry felt the spit run down his face. Slowly he raised his hand and wiped it away. "I apologise that I--"

"Don't even start! You can't possibly say anything that would make it all right. There is nothing that will help at this point. I've been used in the most despicable way there is and you think, you actually THINK that you can make it all right!" Draco roared hitting him on the chest making Harry stumble a few steps back.

Harry didn't dare to say a word. He stared at his lover completely at loss. He knew he was guilty and he had no way to explain himself to Draco. How could he even assume that Draco would understand what he had believed at the time he had been taken away. Draco would probably spat on him again if he told that he really had thought they were Aurors that took him away. No, the problem wasn't just that but he had actually let them do it. He couldn't justify his actions against that. He knew it and Draco knew it.

He watched as the tears of hurt and anger were falling down Draco's face. Neither of them said anything for a good five minutes. Harry took a step closer to his love. "I'm so sorry," he whispered pulling him into his arms embracing him gently.

Draco gripped his shirt burying his face in it and cried his eyes out. Harry held him until his sobs where merely sniffs.

"I shouldn't have yelled like that, please forgive me," Draco said wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"No, you were absolutely right at yelling at me. I was so full of myself that I thought you had understood why I did what I did." He still kept his arms around Draco not letting him go now that they finally had some sort of understanding. "I want to tell you what exactly happened that night when you were captured by the Death Eaters."

Draco nodded. "I will do it too. I think I need to let it out of my system or I'll go crazy."

Harry smiled a bit at him kissing his forehead. "All right, let's get comfortable," he said guiding Draco at the bed. He pulled the covers off and started to undress.

Draco eyed him warily. "What are you doing?"

"I'm spending the night here so we might as well do the talking while lying in bed," he stated but then his eyes narrowed. "You sneaky Slytherin, you thought that we are going to have sex, aren't you?"

Draco blushed looking away. "No, I though you were assuming that we would."

A smile tucked the corner of Harry's mouth as he reached out to turn the face of the other man towards his. "Do you want us to do it?" he asked his hot breath washing over Draco's face.

Draco gulped not really knowing how he should respond to that. He had been feeling a bit horny in the past few days but it had not been anything that a good wank hadn't been able to cure. But now the proximity of his very capable lover brought some ideas into his mind. He licked his lips unintentionally and it led into Harry kissing him.

He kissed him back but didn't let him any closer than necessary. Harry pulled away first and was about to scoop him into his arms again but he pushed him away. "We shouldn't do this now. We have to talk, remember?"

Harry sighed as he lowered his arms to his sides. "Yeah." He finished getting rid of his clothes and dived under the covers. Draco soon followed snuggling up to him.

They just enjoyed the feeling of one another. For the first time since coming to the clinic, Draco was finally calm. He was at peace with everything and he didn't want it to end but he knew that he might be upset after their conversation was over.

Harry sighed drawing lazy circles on Draco's shoulder with his fingers. "The night you disappeared was chaotic," Harry said deciding to talk first. "After the Death Eaters had fled and the fight was over, Aurors came to see if there was any Death Eaters who might have been left behind. The entrance hall was packed with people and two Aurors came through and started to ask me questions I didn't want to answer. I told them what had happened and who killed Dumbledore. When I tried to convince them that you weren't responsible for it, they told me that even though you weren't they would need to question you too. I couldn't argue with that. What could I have done. They were officials and I..." Harry's voice faded away.

Draco stroked his arm affectionately. "You thought they were right. You had no reason to doubt their words."

Harry nodded. "Yes and I couldn't see that they were really Death Eaters in disguise."

Draco understood now that Harry had had no other choice. Somehow Draco knew might have known that but he had wanted to blame someone else for his own mistakes.

Harry's voice brought him back from his thoughts and he concentrated to listen. "Then suddenly you came through the doors and ran to me. I couldn't say what I wanted to say at that moment. I wanted for you to run. I was so sure that you would be convicted if you were caught but I couldn't do that. It was too late for me to do anything when the Aurors came and took you away. It was only a minutes later that it came apparent that those were fake Aurors. The real Aurors came and started to ask me questions and I explained I had already spoke with them," Harry sobbed once. "I'm so sorry, Draco. I was a fool to believe so easily."

Draco hugged him close. "Shhh, it's ok. I understand. I think I have to explain something too." Draco took a deep breath and shut his eyes. "When I ran with Severus that night I was unable to think straight. I was in shock and it had been quite a while after I regained my senses. We had just reached the apparation point when I decided to return to you. I stunned Severus and ran back blindly through the forest. You know what happened then. I was caught and I realised that they were not Aurors when they were dragging me into the forest and not out the gates of Hogwarts. I ended up in Voldemort's hide out and had one of the most severe punishments that I have had in my life," he shuddered at the memory but went on with his story, "It was two months later I discovered that was pregnant. It seemed that Voldemort had known it since the beginning. I was a mess. If Severus had not been with me, I don't know what I would have done. He kept me sane and safe. after Hannah was born I was able to have some time to be alone with her. That was the best time of my life. I had someone to care for and someone who depended on me alone. No one could come between me and my baby," Draco paused opening his eyes.
"It was hell, Harry. You have no idea what I went through back there. When Voldemort was angry, he took it out on me. Probably because I knew he was only angry because of you. It must have thrilled him to think that I was suffering only because you had done something. I was suffering from it but not as much as I imagine you would had been, only if you had known that is."

The hand on his shoulder stilled. Draco lifted his head to look into Harry's eyes but found them shut. When Harry's eyes opened they were filled with anguish. Draco leaned forward and kissed his troubled lover.


AN: Stay tuned! lol.. anyway maybe this wasn't so good after all... hmmm... well Review anyway!! It helps me write!