Born in Frustration

A/N 1/8/07 Sorry for the long delay. Spank me later, me thinks you shall want to

Oh Yes guess who figured out html! *HAPPY DANCE*

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~Chapter Fourteen: So You Want To?~

Later that day, the two boys were seated on Harry’s bed, doing their Transfiguration homework. Both were casting furtive glances at the other, hoping not to be caught, but occasionally catching each other’s eye.

Draco couldn’t concentrate on his parchment, too busy thinking about what had transpired earlier that morning. The pulse point in his throat was still tingling from the tentative kiss that had been placed there and a myriad of thoughts were running around his brain; he liked how pliant Harry had been in his lap, he really liked it when Harry had cuddled down against him, nuzzling into his neck, and then… that shy kiss…

Every time Draco’s mind went there, his heart raced a bit. He wondered about Harry’s preferences; Draco himself had made no bones about it at school; sex was sex, whether it was with a man or woman. He didn’t particularly care which one he bedded as long as it was good, hard sex. He had seen Harry with that Ravenclaw Seeker the year before a few times, of course he also knew that nothing had come of it. Draco could tell that the youngest Weasel was interested in Harry as well, but what he didn’t know – had no clue about actually – was what Harry’s interests were.

He had a strong suspicion that Harry would, regardless of gender, NOT want a casual fuck buddy. Harry was a Gryffindor after all, although, on occasion Draco saw a bit of Slytherin in Harry. His constant breaking of the rules, though for honourable reasons, was still not a trait associated with the noble Gryffindor house, come to think of it, neither was Harry’s temper, the famous explosive anger that made Harry’s eyes sparkle with an inner fire.

Draco had, many times, been the object of that fiery gaze. Thinking about it now, Draco realised that he would goad the other boy, just to see that look. It was amazing. In those moments, one could really feel the power that Harry possessed, even if Harry never saw it himself.

Despite all that, he knew someone like Harry would want more then sex. Seeing how Harry lived, Draco had to wonder how the boy could still have such a capacity for love. Perhaps it was because of the way Harry had been raised, that made him seek out love and friendship. But Draco knew it had to be more than that – being abused doesn’t really serve as a good foundation for any sort of tender feelings. This atypical kindness then, must just be a part of Harry’s personality, and Harry would have had it even if he had been raised by psychopathic serial killers. His Harry just had an ability to see things differently, to endure and keep his heart safe. Draco thought it amazing that someone so ill-treated, could still tap into such a well of good feeling. Even the people in this house that so abused Harry could not escape being touched and protected by it; Draco knew that Harry would never harm them, nor wish any harm upon them and that was truly an amazing gift.

Still, none of this was answering Draco’s current dilemma. Would, could Harry maybe… perhaps… Draco shook his head. ‘What the hell am I thinking? This is Harry-Fucking-Potter. There is no way, in the Nine Levels of Hell, that Harry Potter would want Draco Malfoy,’ he told himself firmly. But then, Harry was catching his eye and blushing so very prettily. ‘FUCK!’ Draco’s brain shouted. ‘Get a bloody grip, you fucking ponce! Harry, pretty? Gods in the Wood, next you’ll be waxing poetic and mooning about Harry-Fucking-Potter’s silky hair and soft skin! Merlin’s blue balls, get a hold of yourself, you bloody git.’

“Problem?” he heard Harry ask.

‘Damn.’

“…no just thinking,” Draco tried to say casually.

“Oh…” Harry said.

Draco looked up into his eyes, noticing the confusion evident in those two pools of green. Throwing caution to the wind, Draco decided to fuck the consequences and just see what would happen…

“Harry…” he began tentatively.

Harry straightened up, keeping his gaze firmly on Draco’s eyes. “Yes?”

“Harry, I meant to tell you, that was… um… in the sitting room earlier, you… you um… you played along really well.” Draco mentally smacked himself. ‘Shit, shit, shit…’

“Oh, yeah, I guess.” Harry glanced down, blushing slightly.

‘Fuck all and then fuck them again! Say what you want, you stupid idiot. Since when do Malfoys get nervous?!’

“Yes you did. You were brilliant.” ‘Yes, that’s it, say it with confidence.’ “I hope it didn’t bother you?” ‘HA, HA, Draco Malfoy, cool as a fucking winter day.’

Harry glanced back up, eyes wide. ‘Gods, Harry’s eyes are just so fucking gorgeous. Merlin in Hell…’

“Bother me?” Harry asked softly.

“Err… yeah the um kissing and, you know… stuff,” Draco said with a slight quiver to his voice. ‘Fuck, where did all the confidence go?’

Harry smiled slightly, as pink tinted his cheeks again. “No, I didn’t mind,” he said a little nervously, quickly looking away from Draco and fidgeting with the bed clothes.

‘YES! He didn’t mind! But wait, did he mean ‘No, I don’t mind you kissing me’? Or, ‘No, I don’t mind playing along’?’

Draco’s brain was now doing a happy dance. “Really?” Draco said, cocking his eyebrow. “You didn’t mind me touching you?” Harry shook his head. “You seemed upset about it yesterday.”

Harry chuckled nervously. “I was, but… I dunno, I thought my uncle would… but he didn’t and… and you, well… I dunno.” Harry’s hands began picking apart the blanket on the bed.

‘That fucker won’t be touching you again or I’ll cut his fucking balls off…’ Draco snarled silently before mentally smacking himself. ‘Get on track, dolt.’

“Have you ever kissed a boy before, Harry?” Draco asked, his confidence building with each nervous gesture Harry made. ‘Let me be the first, let me be the first…’

Harry’s head shot up at the question, “NO!” he nearly shouted. Draco smirked in his patented Malfoy way. ‘YES!’

“How ‘bout a girl? Ever kissed a girl?” he asked, a wicked gleam forming in his eyes.

The other boy started shifting uncomfortably on the bed until Draco could practically see Harry’s internal argument playing out. He could feel the nervousness of his new companion. “Just between you and me, Harry,” he said, trying to ease the other boy’s tension, “I won’t go spreading nasty rumours.”

Harry cast Draco a searching look and Draco tried to silently communicate the honesty of his last statement, without giving away his current desire to snog Harry senseless. A difficult task, one he wasn’t sure he was capable of, but finally, after several long moments, Draco saw the trust behind the green eyes re-form.

“I know,” Harry began, “I just… Oh, what the hell.” Taking a deep breath, Harry answered Draco honestly. “Yes, I’ve kissed a girl. Just once though and it was bloody awful.”

Draco burst out laughing. His brain was now doing the happy dance conga. Harry stared at Draco for a moment, shocked, then, he too, was laughing.

“S-s-sorry,” Draco choked out after several long minutes, “seriously though, why was it awful?” ‘Please, please, please, tell meeeeee,’ his brain was screaming.

“Well…” Harry was thinking his words over carefully. “Well, she was crying, I guess, and I had never kissed a girl before, and I just, well, I dunno it just was… It wasn’t what I expected, I think.” A slightly confused Harry looked back up at Draco.

Draco was thrilled with that information. “Why was she crying, and more importantly, Harry, what exactly were you expecting?” ‘Say it was yucky and you never want to do it again.’

“She was upset about something else,” Harry responded, a tinge of guilt in his voice.

Draco could tell Harry was holding something back, but he put that thought with the rest of the things Draco wanted to know, but would ask later. Harry sighed. “I don’t really know what I expected,” he said quietly. “But, I think I expected to feel something more, some kind of… spark or something like that. Does that sound silly?” he asked, not really looking at Draco.

“No. That doesn’t sound silly at all,” Draco said. “Would you want to kiss this girl again?” he asked, as his brain was screaming, ‘NO HE WOULD NOT!’

“I thought I would, but no, not her anyway. And I think she hates me now so…” Harry’s voice trailed off.

‘Okay, Draco, old boy, ask the big one.’

“Would you kiss a boy if the opportunity arose?” Draco asked, his heart beginning to beat faster as he watched Harry. Harry’s brow furrowed as he contemplated his answer. His eyes flicked around the room, not looking at Draco.

‘He’s thinking about it! YES!’

“Truthfully, Draco, I’d never thought about it,” Harry said, finally looking Draco directly in the eyes, “until now.”

If Draco thought Harry wouldn’t freak out at this moment, he would have leapt across the bed and ravished the raven-haired, green-eyed boy right then and there. As it was, it was all he could do to restrain himself from jumping around the room with joy. Harry wanted to kiss Draco. He knew this, Harry had as good as said so. Draco definitely wanted to kiss Harry, so… what the fuck…

“Now? What’s different about now?” Draco asked, reaching his hand over to touch the back of Harry’s hand lightly with his fingertips. Harry trembled at the light touch.

“You,” Harry said so very softly.

Draco wasn’t sure, at first, that Harry had actually said it. When the answer finally hit him, he felt a great jolt of excitement run through him. ‘I don’t know what I did to deserve this,’ he thought to himself, ‘and right now, I don’t really give a fuck, but I wanted to say, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!’ The conga in his brain had switched to the tango, without missing a beat.

“So, do you want to kiss me, Harry?” he asked, sending Harry his most seductive gaze. “I wouldn’t object to that.”

Harry appeared to be frozen, his green eyes never leaving Draco’s grey as he swallowed nervously. Draco could tell that Harry wanted to, so, to help matters along, he began leaning forward.

“Harry, do you want to kiss me?” he asked again.

Harry took a deep breath. “Yes,” he whispered, leaning forward to meet Draco. Draco smiled and reached up with his other hand, grasped Harry’s neck and pushed their lips together, tenderly.

Sparks! Sparks of lightning flew through Draco’s body at the very first touch of those pink lips. Lips he had dreamed about for the past several nights. Harry’s lips were just as soft and pliant as Draco thought they would be. Knowing Harry was new to kissing, Draco gladly took the lead.

‘Sweet merciful Merlin,’ Draco’s mind raced, ‘so, bloody, fucking brilliant.’

Gently, he massaged Harry’s lips beneath his own. Reaching his free hand up to cup the other boy's face, he pulled Harry closer to deepen the kiss. Harry soon relaxed into him, his lips cooperating with Draco’s fully. Draco opened his mouth and brushed his tongue along the crease of Harry’s mouth, rubbing along Harry’s lower lip. Harry moaned softly and opened his mouth slightly; Draco smiled and slid his tongue into Harry’s mouth, teasing Harry’s tongue, asking it to come out and play. Draco was in heaven. His brain had now moved on from the tango to the rumba and everything in between.

‘Perfect. This is perfect. Harry is perfect,’ Draco sighed to himself. ‘More, Gods, I want more.’

Draco rose on his knees, as the gentle kiss became more heated. Slowly, he leaned forward, lowering Harry back against the bed. Draco never wanted this to end. He tasted Harry and it was like nothing he had ever tasted before, sweet and delicious. Fresh strawberries and sweet cream, that’s what his Harry tasted like; it was perfection.

‘Hmmm, my Harry,’ he moaned silently, ‘mine, all mine.’

Draco’s tongue explored as much of Harry’s mouth as he could. When he eventually drew his tongue back, Harry’s tongue followed and Draco took advantage, sucking it into his own mouth, teasing it, encouraging it to enter and explore. Harry did just that and Draco groaned with pleasure. He leaned further into Harry, moving his hands into that black, silky hair. Both boys were breathing hard and Draco could feel his heart racing, his fingertips resting gently over Harry’s pulse as it sped up as well. It was the most wonderful kiss Draco had ever had.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Both boys jumped backward, Draco nearly falling off the bed, as a loud crash and ear piercing scream filled the room.