Lucius and the Waif - COMPLETE

The character of Lucius Malfoy belongs to J.K.Rowling. I am only borrowing him for a while. No copyright transgressions are intended and no profit is made.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Chapter Fourteen – Anger and Sorrow


One area she lagged on, though, was her performance in the bedroom. She accepted Lucius into her body, and gave him sex in whatever way he desired. But she knew she was starting to disappoint him somehow. That in turn started to scare her, reducing her performance even more.

Lea was right. Lucius was starting to despair of ever truly breaking her of her dissociation when they had sex. She enjoyed it most when he used his tongue on her, but she could never quite meet his needs when he mated with her. And Lucius’ problem was that, in his head, he was now mating with her, not just using her body for his enjoyment. Lucius was saddened by his inability to really reach her physically. He knew she had a lot to overcome and it would take time, but he was still feeling like a failure and he hated that. Failure was total anathema to him in any form, but especially in the bedroom. His male pride was taking a beating, no matter how he tried to tell himself it wasn’t him personally she was distancing herself from. One evening six months into their agreement, things came to a head.


Lucius carried her into the second bedroom as he usually did when he wanted sex, but this time he just sat beside her on the mattress, staring straight ahead. Lea could feel he was unhappy and she didn’t want that. She put a hand on his shoulder in commiseration. Lucius looked over at her and sighed. Lea asked, sympathetically, “Lucius, why are you so lugubrious?”


Lucius smiled slightly at that. That must be her new word for the day. “Can you even spell that word?” he asked.


“Of course, I can,” she replied indignantly, “L-U…”


“Enough,” said Lucius, his face going somber again. “I think I need some time apart from you,” he murmured.


Lea’s heart leapt into her throat. He was sending her away. She hadn’t even managed to get through a whole shelf of his books yet. Her awakening conscience chastised her. She knew what he meant. And she was at fault. She knew she was cheating him in their bargain, but he was getting exactly what he’d bargained for, and she was more comfortable staying with her safety zone. He had asked her numerous times to try to open up to him more, physically. She hadn’t wanted to, because she was afraid if she did, he would mean something to her. Then he would leave her when his sentence was finished. He had no right to change their agreement!


Lucius said exactly what she was thinking, scaring her even more. “I bargained for precisely what I’ve been receiving from you. I am painfully aware of that. Very painfully aware. But I have come to the end of my ability to play your game. You have bested me, I think. That doesn’t often happen to me.” Lucius’ only solace was that he’d gone down before another, very intelligent, Slytherin.


He continued, “This last month, I’ve had a separate apartment prepared for you below mine. You will be comfortable enough there and I’ll see that you may borrow any books you wish from my collection. I can have wards put on your door, but I suspect you’ll be in danger if you leave your rooms. I am sorry about that. It’s my fault your movements are now as limited as mine. Unless you wish to leave the prison. That can be arranged. There is nothing legal holding you here.” Lucius grimaced, “I am assuming you will not wish to resume your former position.”


Sweet Goddess, Lea thought - never knowing she had even adopted Lucius’ way of speaking - he had been planning for this. He must have been unhappy with her for a long time and she…she held herself very still, absorbing the blow. Funny, how this hurt more than all the physical pain she had suffered. Her mind couldn’t escape this time. She had been protecting herself from caring about him and now, too late, she had discovered she cared very much. She didn’t much appreciate the irony. ‘Irony’ had been one of her new words last month and it was coming home to roost now.


Lea didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to leave her wizard. He was the center of her new world. She understood him well enough to know that a show of tears would be useless, even if they were heartfelt, and they would be. Her heart was pounding, and she was clutching the covers behind her as she sat with him on the bed. Her mind was racing, trying to think of a way to stay with him. He had already rejected her sexual abilities, so it had to be something else. How could she show him she truly wanted to let him in as far as he himself wanted to go? She fastened on that.


“Lucius, I understand I’m a disappointment to you physically. I’ve wanted so much to open up, but I always stop. I’ve been thinking about it and I was hoping we could try another way.” She paused.


Lucius was listening, but without much interest.


“I think I clamp down each time because that’s how I survived for years. But with you everything is the opposite. You’ve given me nothing but gentleness and consideration. And I haven’t responded. Perhaps you should try being more aggressive, break through more forcefully. I trust you now as much as I’ve ever trusted anyone. Maybe you need to show me your power instead of your kindness so I know you can protect me from everyone else. It is obviously the others that I am still afraid of, not you.” Lea held her breath, wondering if she had made any headway against Lucius’ painful plans for her.


Lucius got up from the bed and turned to solemnly face Lea. “I’ll think about it.” He turned toward the doorway, “I’ll see you at dinner. We can finish our discussion then.” He walked away down the hallway and entered his own room, silently closing the door.

__________________________________________________________________

Thank you all for your reviews. I want Lucius always in character; that's what is so fascinating about him. Much more to come...