Second chance; Second life

Draco made his way up, and looked up to find Flora’s eyes resting on him.

‘Do you have anything to say too?’

‘Actually, I have a few home truth’s for you,’ said Flora, her voice as hard as steel. ‘Someone told me what you did to the first year this morning.’ He sighed.

‘Really? I don’t need a lecture.’

‘I’m not lecturing. I was also informed of what was said between you and Miss Jordon. I must say, Draco that I agree with her. I thought you might have inherited your Grandfather’s courage and morals. He would never torture a Muggle-born. He may think of them as unworthy, but he would never lower himself to that. Miss Jordon is right. You are an exact copy of Lucius.’

‘That’s not my fault. It’s the way I was raised; everything I was taught told me my Father was the perfect wizard. But I hated him all the time because of what he did to me.’

‘Then why do you try to be him?’ Draco raised his eyes.

‘I don’t know.’

‘You have to be yourself, Draco. This act is no use. You will break completely if you carry on with it. You must be true to yourself. Miss Jordon knows that, and that’s why she’s so disgusted with you. It’s not what you did to the First Year. It’s what you’re doing to yourself.’

‘You said you weren’t going to lecture me.’ She shrugged.

‘I lied.’ He lowered his head the tears coming once more. ‘Draco, I can’t change you. I can only try to make you see that you will never be your Father. You’re so much better than him Draco. Please, understand and believe that. Lucius would have felt pleasure and pride if he’d seen you do that, and disgust at your tears. Your grandfather would have been disgusted with your performance, and proud that you realised you were in the wrong and were reduced to tears. But they are not you, and you are not them. What did you feel while you were torturing that first year? What do you feel now as you cry?’

‘I don’t know,’ replied Draco.

‘Yes you do.’ He sighed, realising he wouldn’t get inside unless he answered her question.

‘I felt… detached, like I was watching it instead of doing it. I was running on automatic, I guess.’ Flora nodded slowly, accepting this.

‘And now?’ Draco raised his head to try and meet her eyes.

‘I feel… unworthy and low. Lower than even a Mudblood.’ Courage ran through him and he managed to meet her eyes. She smiled kindly.

‘See? You’re already progressing. You feel neither your Father’s, nor your Grandfather’s emotions, which is the way you’re supposed to be Draco. Drop the act. When you don’t think you’re being watched, or you’re with someone who has seen you without the mask, you’re such a lovely, kind person. Why do you feel you have to prove yourself?’ Draco shrugged loosely.

‘I’ve always been watched. I’ve always had to be a certain person.’

‘Have you ever tried not being that person?’

‘No.’ she sighed.

‘You must try, Draco. That person is never going to be you.’

‘Maybe not.’ Flora stood in anger, her face flushed, her eyes dark and flashing, her fists clenched.

‘Draco Malfoy, you’re insufferable!’ she stated. Draco blinked.

‘Thanks. That really helped.’

‘I wasn’t trying to be helpful.’

‘Then what were you trying to do?’

‘I don’t know. I’ll know when I’m done saying it.’ Draco folded his arms and leaned against the wall.

‘Insufferable. That is what you are. You’re an insufferable, arrogant, proud young man! But you’re so much more! You don’t just end there. No one does; no one is ever that shallow. You have so much more depth. Your eyes show it.’ Draco frowned. Flora’s anger was dissipating as she examined his eyes closely. ‘There, you see? They’re like the ocean. Dark, stormy, and unfathomable. And there’s always so much more than you think; always another drop that hasn’t been examined yet. You try to make out to people that you’re this hard, cold, cruel, calculating person who loves nothing, when you’re so full of love you feel as though you’re going to burst; sure that someone will see it. Why are you so afraid of that?’ Draco was silent, and she carried on. It was like he’d become a part of the wall he leaned against, and Flora found it encouraging he was listening this hard. ‘Kay can see it. Even when you were battering that first year, she could see how you were screaming in protest inside. Harry Potter saw it today, when he found you by the suit of armour. He’d thought there was no more to you than the shallow, irresponsible young man he thought he knew, until he saw you, just sitting there, shocked at what you’d done. I saw it. I see it now. You can’t keep pushing people away, because soon people will just give up and walk away from you, and then you truly will be alone. Even Kay will think that you’re unreachable. So yes, you’re insufferable. You’re insufferable because you’re so sufferable.’ Draco said nothing as she sat down, her breathe coming in short pants. Draco stood there for a long time, shocked at her words that had reached underneath him and inside him.

‘Narcissa,’ he said quietly, and the door opened, Flora watching him intently. He stepped in, and lay down on the sofa, making no attempt to stem the tears. He found himself falling asleep, his brain exhausted, as he had the night before. But he knew exactly what he had to do.

Kay entered the room. Flora had looked at her very peculiarly as she had said the password, and she was puzzled as to why. She was also exhausted. The girl was fine, but had been a bit emotional, and Kay had spent over two hours trying to calm her. She saw Draco lying asleep on the sofa, and froze. He looked tired and worried, even in sleep, and was shivering. She sighed, and lit a fire, conjuring a blanket and tucking it round him. He didn’t move, and she noticed tear tracks lining his face. She bit her lip, wiping lightly at his face. She kissed his forehead lightly, smoothing back his hair.

‘You’re a bastard, Draco Malfoy,’ she cursed. ‘How do you always manage to change my feelings about you?’ she turned, and moved into her own room. When she’d kissed him, his face had relaxed instantly, and she smiled slightly at the sight of him lying there like an angel before closing her door.

Thanks for the encouragemtn Lenora

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