Hogwarts Online

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DISCLAIMER: i own nothing; standard disclaimers apply.

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Snape watched, transfixed on the sight before him. As soon as the incantation left his mouth, a scream was manifestly ripped from Hermione’s lungs. She dropped to her knees, her arms thrown out, and her head thrown back as all of her scars split open.

Inky blackness began to emerge from her body, like living smoke tendrils, spiraling upwards. Her gold flecked brown irises disappeared along with the whites of her eyes as the entire surface turned a glimmering black. Patches of pale flesh flashed between the blackness that was spilling out of her and her hair flowed around her head, being blown about by whatever was being torn from her. Snape thought she looked like an angel of death.

Snape began to panic as a full minute passed and nothing seemed to change. She was quiet and unmoving and the flow of darkness seemed never-ending. He didn’t know what to do and all he could do was watch in rapt attention as the tableau played out in front of him.

For the first time in his life, he crossed his fingers and prayed to whatever god or goddess was listening.

Just as he was about to run to her, to stop it all, the smoky limbs began to ebb and the black began turning gray. As quick as it turned gray, it began to turn white. Her eyes were now glowing, rays of light shooting from them. The white grew brighter and glittered silver before it began to retreat back in to her body, slowly filling in the wounds the blackness just escaped.

As the last of the white energy entered her body, her scars closed back up and her eyes returned to their normal brown before they rolled up in her head and she slumped to the ground.

*

Hermione felt as if she was hit by a freight truck. Her entire body ached. Even her hair hurt! A groan escaped her lips as she tried to open her eyes, but her eyelids felt as if they were weighted down with rocks.

“Hermione?” The voice was soft and familiar.

“Are you awake, love?” Yes, she knew that voice.

“Mmm…” she managed to get out. Taking a shaky breath, she tried again. “I can’t move.”

“Merlin’s robe!” the harsh exclamation hissed out of Severus. Understanding how he interpreted her last statement, she wanted to laugh, but knew that would make her hurt worse.

“No, no. I’m not paralyzed, or anything of that sort. I simply can’t move. It hurts.” The words came out in a slow whisper to minimize the use of muscle and nerve endings.

“I will be right back with a pain remedy,” and without waiting for a response, she heard him leave the room.

Hermione lay still, trying to remember what happened. She remembered Severus casting the counter-curse. She remembered feeling as if her spine had been pulled from her body. She remembered screaming. Then… then, nothing.

She did remember her dream, however. Dream might not be the correct idiom. What she saw was glimpses and snapshots of her life over the last three years. It was more of a conscious realization of what her subconscious already knew, but the curse had kept from her, and like the ton of bricks that she felt must have landed on her body, it hit her; she was now free from the curse!

That realization didn’t, however, quell her rising shame and regret as she become cognizant of the person she had become while under the curse: A walking husk with mos ofs of subdued clarity.

The past two years there was a small seed of resentment that had grown in her for how Harry and Ron had abandoned her. They moved on wtheitheir lives without leaving room for her. She always knew, probably better than they did, that after they graduated their lives would change and that their friendship would have to adjust to accommodate that, but complete desertion she never expected. She had put on a brave face, always telling herself that it was alright, and that it didn’t matter. However, now, she could admit that deep down it did.

What she also was able to admit now was that it wasn’t entirely their fault. Ginny stayed in touch, even though sporadically, but she now knew that it was because Ginny was privy to her night terrors. Ginny was always a perceptive woman and probably always knew there was more to what she had seen that night than Hermione was telling her. But the boys, they didn’t know, nor were they as discerning and insightful as Ginny.

She played a large part in the separation of her friends and family from her life. She systematically closed them out and they eventually became frustrated with the whole affair. She wasn’t forgotten or forsaken. She also realized something about all those letters to Ron and Harry that they never replied to. They didn’t go unanswered because they didn’t want to talk to her. Tears began to leak from the corner of her eyes. Not because of the pain in her body, but because of the pain in her heart as she realized that all of the letters she’d written over the past year, the ones that went unanswered, actually sat in a drawer. They sat in a drawer in her office. She never sent them. ‘My gods,’ shoughought. ‘How far gone was I?’

Just then, she felt a cool hand stroke her forehead.

“Ow.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “We do need to sit you up to get this potion in you. It should make you feel better.”

Hermione steeled herself and nodded. Severus reached his hands around her shoulders and as she pushed up on her arms, he pulled up, quickly piling pillows behind her for support. The only sounds she made were some low grunts as she grit her teeth.

“This is my extra-strength pain remedy. This is what I took after a particularly fun evening with the Dark Lord,” he said deadpan. She wanted to giggle, but befshe she could he tipped her head back and poured the potion in. She swallowed quickly, sighing, before lying back against the pillows. She fele sie side of her bed dip and knew Severus had sat down next to her.

It took no more than a minute before she started to feel the relief flood her body. It felt almost like a nip of brandy on a cold day felt, buzzing through your veins as it warmed you. Slowly she opened her eyes and saw the most beautiful sight in front of her. She thought he was beautiful before, but now, now she was looking at him through unclouded eyes. Hermione realized that had she kept going on, living under that curse, it would have been only a matter of time before she began to shut him out and leave letters to him unsent in a drawer. It would have eaten away at their relationship, rotting from the inside out.

Snape shifted uneasily under her gaze. It was intense and piercing.

“How do you feel now?” he said, finally breaking the silence.

“Much better, thank you. I do believe that the counter-curse worked.” At her words Severus sighed and she could see the tension in his body leave him.

“I’m going to make us some brunch and, no! You stay here in bed, Miss Granger,” he used his best teacher voice on her as she started to get out of bed. “I will bring it up here and we’ll eat in bed. You need to eat something or that potion will wreak havoc on stomach.”

“Alright, but I’m really starting to feel bet… wait. Did you say brunch? How long have I been out?”

“It’s only 10 in the morning. You didn’t have too long a lie-in. Now, get comfy, save me some room to crawl in with you, and I’ll be right back.”

Hermione looked at the man standing before her and could do nothing but smile. In fact, she thought she probably won’t be able to stop smiling for a long time. She was free.

*

Snape took a deep breath in, smelling the lovely citrus scent of her hair as she sat, curled against his side as they watched a DVD. After they had eaten brunch and napped for a couple of hours, she awoke and it was like a tornado ripping through the neighborhood. He had never seen her have sunergnergy.

She had posted a quick update on her blog before tearing through the house and cleaning like a demon. He watched her smile like a cheeky monkey as she mopped the floors! Snape decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and quietly stayed out of the way. She had essentially been trapped inside herself for so long that she had no alternative but to expend the sudden energy lest she explode.

“Severus!” he had heard her scream from the other room. “Bring me the dust pan!”

‘Ah, there she is. The bossy know-it-all is back,’ he had thought with glee before he made his way to the pantry to retrieve the dust pan.

Now here they were, after her whirlwind of emotional and physical release had exhausted themselves, relaxing and watching a movie as they sometimes did, and his quiet, collected, and serene Hermione was still here, but he could feel the difference. Her aura, her presence, everything, seemed to glow powerfully. That dominant all-knowing attitude of her younger years was back, but it had manifested itself as a confidence that wasn’t in-your-face. She was now tempered with a strong self-assurance and a large dose of wisdom.

It was just unfortunate that much of that wisdom was hard earned too early in her life.

As the movie was wrapping up, the credits rolling across the screen, Snape noticed Hermione’s contemplative look. She seemed a bit wound up and he knew, watching her brows knit and her teeth worry her bottom lip, that there was something she wanted to say, but was screwing up her courage to do so.

“Hermione, what is it?” he finally asked.

“Am I that transparent?” At his nod, she sighed deeply and stood up, holding out her hand for him to take. “I have something to show you.”

They made their way up the stairs and into the office before she let go of his hand and tightly drew her arms across her chest, as if she were cold. He watched her pace the space for a few minutes before she walked over to a drawer next to her filing cabinet and opened it. Then she stepped away.

Taking his cue, Snape walked slowly up to the drawer before looking in. What he saw confused him. It looked like a stack of letters, but who were they from? As he glanced back up at Hermione, and saw the look of anguish on her face, he nearly broke. Instead he schooled his face and lifted an eyebrow at her in askance.

“Remember asking me about Harry and Ron?” At this he nodded, but kept quiet, allowing her to continue. “You remember me telling you that they had stopped replying to my letters? Well, that was true, but only because they never received my letters.”

Snapes eyebrows nearly shot up beyond his hairline at this. Looking back into the drawer, he took hold of a letter that he noticed was addressed to Harry and opened it. He recognized her tight, rolling script and read a paragraph from the letter:

Harry, I thought we were friends. I evidently must have been mistaken in that assumption. I can appreciate how hectic your life must be, but you obviously don’t comprehend the utter pain and anguish I live with everyday. I feel like I’m descending into the layers of hell and I am unable to stop it. I am drowning in my own torment and my body physically cleaves itself open daily to allow fresh waves of pain to surround my muscle, sinew, bones, and soul.

The letter continued on after that in a tone that could only be described as lighthearted. She went on to tell him how her potions research was progressing. She described the web site she was creating for the client that she had at the time and how her own projects were moving ahead.

He looked up at Hermione and noticed that her hands trembled as she clutched her biceps.

“How long?” he asked her.

“Just over a year. I realize now that if we were to continue without this curse having been lifted, it would only be a matter of time before my letters to you would start to end up in that drawer. The fact that you knew about the curse, who knows what it would have had me do to completely disrupt and sabotage our relationship.”

Snape nodded in acknowledgment. What a subtle, yet sinisterly effective curse. Besides the dreams and physical manifestations, he wouldn’t have realized how far this curse affected her. He knew, on a surface level, how it had sapped some of her spirit, as would be expected living that long with those nightly terrors and daily pains. What he hadn’t realized was how it systematically stole chunks of her life.

“You do know what you need to do, don’t you?”

“I have a long letter of explanation to write. I need to send a copy to every person whom I’ve pushed away these past years along with every letter that belongs to them that sits in that drawer.” Clearly and resolutely she said these words.

Snape cocked his head and looked at her seriously before saying, “Actually, I would tell everyone that their letters were lost in the post.”

Hermione stared at him for a moment before she burst out laughing. She laughed so hard she fell to the ground. ‘Severus could be such a cad sometimes’, she thought, but his little joke was just what she needed to snap her out of her self-pitying thoughts.

Severus took that moment to pounce and Hermione felt the weight of his body over hers as small, choking laughs rumbled from her.

“So,” he drawled in that voice that made her shiver, “you think I’m funny, do you?”

“I think you’re funny, brilliant, sexy, brave…”

“Silence! I didn’t ask for a dissertation, Miss Granger. I do believe that infraction calls for a punishment, and since I can’t thoushouse points any longer…” he trailed off for a moment before swiftly sitting up and pulling her face down across his lap. He reached up under her, unbuttoning her button fly jeans then pulling them down to her knees, exposing her panty-clad arse.

“Severus, what are you…” but before she could finish the sentence his hand came down swiftly with just enough force to leave a light sting. She tried to shift a bit, but his other hand landed on her lower back, holding her in place.

“That will be five more for addressing me informally while I’m doling out punishment for your impudence. Do you want to push your luck?”

She craned her neck to look up at him and he broke his stern look for a moment, giving her a questioning expression that said ‘do you want to play?’ Realizing he was waiting for an answer, she responded.

“No, sir,” she squeaked, as her body began to tingle in anticipation of where this game was going to lead and watched as his Professor Snape face came back in place.

His hand gently caressed her arse cheeks before promptly lifting it and bringing it back down in another solid smack. She wiggled at the contact, feeling both his hand on her back add more pressure to hold her down and the hardness of his manhood as it began to stir against her. Heat flooded her at the apex of her thighs as she realized her lover was enjoying this game of his making as much as she was.

Again and again, his gentle fingers would stroke her skin before delivering another blow. By the time he was finished, her backside was tingling and she was thoroughly aroused.

Snape knew their little game had provoked a response in Hermione. His receptive olfactory sense easily picked up on her musky scent. Having finished doling out his corporal punishment, leaving a lovely pink rear end, he pushed her jeans further down along with her knickers and spread her thighs apart before dipping his fingers into her.

Feeling how wet she was caused him to groan and he spread her moisture around, stroking her folds, eliciting a stream of guttural moans from her. His fingers rolled over her clit a few times before stroking around her again and again. He removed his other hand from her back, slipping it under her to manipulate her clit.

Hermione lifted herself up on her knees slightly when she felt the weight lessen on her back, one of her hands snaking underneath to stroke his hardness through his pants. He was touching her folds so gently, barely grazing over her most sensitive spots, teasing her to new heights of arousal.

Snape saw her arse lift up before him and felt her hand begin to stroke him. Gods, he thought he would explode. Becoming bolder by the state of her stimulation, he took one damp finger and moved it around her anus. Slowly, he pressed in just a bit while pushing his middle and ring fingers into her cunt.

His fingers pressing into Hermione caused her to arch her body up into his hand harder. After that endless torture the pressure of his fingers inside her felt so good. He set a pace, stroking in and out, pressing his lubed finger farther in her tight backside a bit more at each pass. Her hand fumbled a bit before managing to open his pants and releasing his erection and the sensation of her hand stroking his hot skin provoked his movements even more.

Soon, they were both thrashing against each other as their tempos increased. Snape removed his middle finger from her and pressed it against his first finger, stretching her. Hermione moaned at the feel of it, never expecting to find such pleasure in that. The slight pain only pushed her to greater heights.

‘Oh, how good it was to feel again!’ she thought, as she felt the cadence of his fingers, the contraction of her inner muscles, the throbbing between her legs that was ready to burst. To feel this man touching her most intimate places, touching her heart, her soul!

“Oh, merlin... oh, oh... I love you!” Hermione screamed out at that moment as her body shook in ecstasy.

When she was done riding out her orgasm, Snape removed his fingers and flipped her over to her back.

“What did you say?” he asked, looking intently at her.

“I said I love you,” she whispered. She hadn’t realized it was true until it tumbled out of her mouth. “I love you,” she said again, her voice louder. Squaring her shoulders as best she could, as she lay on the floor being pinned down, and looking him straight in the eye she said it again, her voice at full volume, “I love you.”

Snape blinked a few times, staring at her.

“You do?” She nodded in response.

He smiled at her, then. And he kissed her. He kissed her hard, and passionately, and he kissed her like it was their first kiss. Trembling hands worked at buttons to remove clothes, but whose hands were on whose clothes, they couldn’t tell. They were one moving mass.

Once the last piece of clothing fell away, her legs opened under him, and wrapped around him, and in one swift stroke, he was buried inside her. It was then that he stopped.

Hermione looked up at him, and he tenderly pushed her hair from her face, smoothing it back, stroking her forehead.

“I love you, too.” And then they moved.

*

They awoke one morning, a week later, to the sound of tapping. Grumbling, Hermione reached over Severus and smacked the snooze button of her alarm clock on the nightstand, but the sound persisted. Hearing snickering under her, Hermione snorted.

“I’m not awake yet, so lay off,” she huffed, rolling back off of him. Severus rolled himself out of bed and walked over to the window to let the owl that was waiting to deliver her mail.

Hearing a hoot of appreciation as Severus gave her a treat, Hermione finally opened her eyes to have a look.

“Hedwig! That’s Harry’s owl!” Now wide awake, she jumped out of bed and walked over to Severus.

He handed her four scrolls that the bird was carrying. She took them with a shaking hand. This was the moment that she was simultaneously looking forward to and dreading. Taking a deep breath, she set herself on the bed, and put down three of the letters.

Snape watched as she fingered the first of the scrolls, rolling it in her hand. He knew she was nervous, that little nagging voice of doubt telling her that they’d never understand and she would never have her family and friends back.

“Open it, Hermione. Staring at it won’t make it go away or be all right.”

“I know,” she sighed. Looking at her love, she took strength knowing that no matter what happened she still had him. She wouldn’t be alone. Bearing down on her maudlin thoughts, she opened the first scroll.

Snape watched her face intently. It was a straight mask that slowly softened. He saw her eyes tear up, the tears sitting on the edge of her lids. As they slid down her face, she wiped them quickly with the sleeve of her sweater. Gradually, a smile took hold on her face.

“My parents say… my parents…” she kept trying to choke out. She was so sick of crying. She spent the past three years crying.

In a flash, he was by her side, holding on to her, soothing her. Chuckles snuck their way in between her sobs as her body shook against his chest. Taking a few deep breaths, Hermione composed herself pushing back from Severus.

“One down, three to go,” she said, smiling, handing Severus the letter she just finished reading as she picked up the next one.

They made their way through the rest of the letters with nothing more than a few sniffles from Hermione. She felt absolved, the pain of the past three years were her fifty Hail Mary’s. The letters that sat in front of her were from her parents, Harry, Ron, and one from Ginny and Molly Weasley. It seemed that Ginny filled her mom in on what she’d seen and they did a good job of guessing something was wrong.

Letting out a huge breath, Hermione dropped her back down on the bed. The web site was finished, and Hogwarts was now online. Muggle born students’ parents now had a resource that kept them connected to their children’s lives in the Wizarding world. Her friends and family now knew what happened and forgave her for hiding away from them all these years. Those relationships were on the road to being repaired. There was only one thing left to sort out.

“When do you have to go back?” To her credit, her voice only cracked once while asking that question.

“A week,” he answered. “You will come visit though. Minerva will be pleased to see you.”

Grabbing his hand, Hermione drew him down next to her on the bed, and snuggled up against his side.

“We’ll be OK, won’t we?”

“We will take what comes and go from there.”

“And what happens when you can’t get rid of me?” she asked, pushing herself up on an elbow, giving him an impish smile. “What will you do then?”

“Who says I’m looking to be rid of you? You are an acceptable cook, adequate in the lab, and I need someone to scrub cauldrons,” this earned him a snort from her, “and I couldn’t imagine anyone else being able to deal with my moods like you do.”

“You make me sound like a House Elf!”

“Love, you are much lovelier than a House Elf.”

“You know I love you, right?” He nodded his assent. “You know that while these letters are a start I have some bridges to rebuild?” Again he nodded. “You know as soon as I’ve sorted this all out with my parents, I’m taking you home to meet them?” He cringed and nodded.

“What was that? You looked as if I was expecting you to resurrect Voldermort.”

Snape grabbed Hermione and flipped her over so he was above her.

“You know I love you?” She nodded. “You know that I want nothing more that to see you have a full life, the way it should be?” She nodded again. “If after all of that, you still have room in your life for me, I would resurrect any one you wanted if you wished it of me.”

“It’s not a question of me still having room in my life for you, Severus. It’s a matter of everyone else fitting into our lives.”

Snape did the only thing he could think of. He kissed his teacher.

~end

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a/n: sorry this took so long. i have no excuse. i will offer no excuse. ;)

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