Angelica's Sorrow

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey returned to find Severus with his head buried in one of the diaries. Poppy carried needed supplies over to Draco\'s bedside table while Albus took a seat in his comfy chair. There was only a short time left until the potion could be used. He observed his Potions Master from this vantage point and took stock while Severus was otherwise occupied. Albus had known Snape lied about wanting to rest.

He waited and at the appointed time said, \"Severus. We can begin.\"

Snape raised his head, looked at the Headmaster and seemed aware for the first time of his presence.

\"I can\'t be bothered with that right now. It would drain me too much and I need to study this further,\" he spoke in an absent minded way, as if his mind was still fully in the book.

\"Severus, nothing is more important than finding the memory of the curse. You\'ve gone over those diaries a hundred times. What makes you think there\'s anything more to find!\"

Severus jerked his head back up as he realized,\' Albus is angry. Bloody annoying really, I wasn\'t even trying to piss the old man off and succeeded. Will have to remember that for the future. Damn, I haven\'t told him about the latest development.\' His eyebrow lifted as his own anger surfaced, \' how dare he accuse me of shirking.\'

\"Headmaster, If you will allow me to continue -\"

The indifference of the last few days was missing. \'If I handle this right Albus might well end up feeling like a total jackass!\'

Albus was still fuming, but gave a brief nod. Severus was getting spoiled. Acting like a damned first year who didn\'t want to do his homework.

Severus stood while carefully marking his place in the offending diary. He walked to the front of the desk, sat on the edge and folded his arms as if giving a lecture in class.

\"While you were off enjoying your usual hour and a half meal, I had an interesting conversation with Angelica.\" The emphasis on hour and a half was not lost on Dumbledore.

\"What did she have to say that drove you back to the diaries?\" Albus was still disgruntled but no longer furious.

\"It seems I have gained a small amount of her trust. She told me where another diary was located.\" He waited for the reaction with narrowed eyes.

\"You didn\'t tell me you found another diary!!\" Poppy\'s head looked in their direction as his words echoed in the room.

\"Was I given the opportunity before you insulted me by insinuating I was shirking my duty?\"

\"I am sorry I jumped to conclusions, Severus.\"

\'Well, maybe not a total jackass, but he at least looks sheepish.\'

Severus didn\'t feel generous enough to inform Albus his concerns about interference on Angelica\'s part may have been justified. Besides, nothing was proven, it might all be a bluff on her part.

\"Have you found anything useful?\"

\"Not yet.\" He twisted and picked up the volume in question. \"So far it seems to be a record of the changes he made, nothing more. I\'ve only gotten about a third of the way through it so I\'m hopeful he made a note somewhere. It\'s been frustrating. He doesn\'t mention anything about having to look at all her memories or about dealing with the dreams I\'ve had.\"

\"Perhaps that\'s a result of actually pulling the strand through your mind and out the other wand?\"

\"I have come to the same conclusion and I fear there\'s nothing I can do to change the outcome.\"

Severus had been flipping through the pages as he spoke and a folded piece of parchment fell. Perhaps used as a bookmark was his thought as he bent to retrieve it from the floor. The diary was placed back on the desk as his fingers worked to open what he saw was a note.

\"No, it can\'t be that simple,\" Severus whispered to himself as he read Salazar\'s handwriting. His eyes flew to Dumbledore\'s face. \"Please, tell me you know what kind of wand Salazar owned.\"

Albus frowned in concentration. \"I don\'t recall. It may be mentioned in the school journals. What does the note contain that makes it important?\"

\"It\'s imperative we find out,\" Snape stated as he strode to his side and gave him the scrap.

On it was a scribbled reminder from Salazar to himself. \'Order another wand as spare. New method used to fuse core providing exceptional control.\'

\"Why else would it have been left in the diary? He was using a special wand on the strands!\"




Dumbledore had been gone three hours already. What was taking him so long? It shouldn\'t be that bloody difficult to find out what kind of wand Salazar owned. Snape couldn\'t stand looking at the latest diary any longer. He marked his spot and pushed it to the side. Reading how Salazar had raped Angelica\'s memories was making him physically ill. Could he stand to continue reading if the wand proved another dead end? If Salazar was willing to do that to the mind of the woman he supposedly loved, what had he done to her body?

This inactivity was killing him. Severus stood and started pacing between the desk and the pensieve. Where the hell was Albus? If he wasn\'t so protective of his great bloody secrets, Snape could have helped look through the damned journals. It wasn\'t like Dumbledore was the only one who had ever had access to them. Every blasted Headmaster in the history of Hogwarts had probably read them at one time or another. The realization that every portrait in the Headmaster\'s office had read them spurred him to a greater pace. An actual snap of his robe as he turned to retrace his path caught Poppy\'s attention.

\"Why don\'t you take that activity where it will do you some good. You haven\'t been out of this room since we began. Go outside and stomp around, get some fresh air and sunshine. I\'m getting tired of seeing your pasty complexion.\"

The right eyebrow slowly raised as his head tilted slightly to the left while looking at her.

\'I\'m definitely going to have to work the snoring comment in somehow.\' Snape turned on his heel and headed toward the fireplace.

\'Hmm, might be able to catch Dumbledore reading one of the precious journals in his office,\' was his thought as he stepped through.

Poppy shuddered slightly as he vanished from sight. That calculating look on his face was never good news. What in the world has she let herself in for now? Oh, well. She\'d get him back, eventually. Anything was better than the depression he\'d been in the last few days. Poppy had mended his poor, broken body many times over the years but that had been the hardest for her to deal with. Nothing she had said or done had broken through.

Coming outside had been a good idea.

\'Damn her anyway,\' Severus thought as he stood with hands clasped behind him.

The light breeze blowing his hair back felt wonderful as a matter of fact. His eyes skimmed the surface of the lake before him, noting the absence of waves. Strange, a frown appeared, the weather had seemed very mild all summer. Snape couldn\'t remember the last time they\'d had a fierce thunderstorm. He liked to enjoy them from the Astronomy Tower and hadn\'t been there for quite some time.

Someone was walking towards him from the castle, just a swish now and then, but he heard it. Turning, Severus saw Narcissa. As she drew closer, he saw the dark circles under her eyes had almost disappeared. His annoyance at being disturbed evaporated.

The remembrance of their last conversation filled Snape\'s mind.

\'Perhaps a comfortable love is at least available to me. One that can be easily handled and not ask too much. If the question of Lucius\' health is ever settled I might pursue the possibility. The lady seems willing enough.\'

Severus\' heart protested the cold assessment that Hermione was lost to him. His mind argued back. Draco\'s conclusion, shown to him in dreams, seemed to end all hope in that direction. The battle halted as Narcissa drew close enough to smile at him.

\"Severus, I\'m so glad to see you before I have to leave.\"

\"I thought you were going to stay through the whole procedure?\"

\"The Ministry has summoned me. They didn\'t say exactly what for, but I\'m hoping it\'s news about Lucius. Good or bad, at this point I don\'t care as long as it\'s final.\"

\"Yes, I can understand.\"

His own situation was foremost in his mind. Severus did indeed understand, better than she would ever know.

\'Time to start building a few bridges I may want to cross in the future.\'

He stepped closer and took one of her hands, raised it to his mouth and gave it a lingering kiss in place of the polite ones from the past twenty years. Severus looked deep in her eyes as he continued to hold her hand.

The change was not lost on Narcissa, a faint look of surprise on her face for a moment.

\"Albus has been keeping me informed and assures me he will send an owl if I\'m needed. I don\'t know exactly how long I will be gone, they advised me to prepare for travel.\"

\"They didn\'t say where or how long?\"

\"No. If it does concern Lucius I see the need for caution. Wouldn\'t want the press to get wind of it and swarm around.\"

\"Yes, Arthur does have a much better head on his shoulders than Fudge ever did.\"

\"I need to stop by the estate and pick up a few things on my way there, so I should be going.\"

\"I\'ll walk you to the gates,\" Severus said as he held out his arm for her to take as he released her hand.

Narcissa hesitated and then grasped his arm as they turned. The warmth coming from him was difficult to adjust to so quickly. She couldn\'t say she didn\'t like it, but the flame of passion in his eyes from the old days was missing. It had been replaced by something akin to pain, she didn\'t like that at all.

The path to the gates was covered in silence, but was companionable as each was lost in thought about the possible roads of the relationship. Severus opened them for her, bent and placed a light kiss on a cheek.

\"Good luck, Narcissa. Return as soon as you can.\"

A slight smile graced her mouth. \"If it does have something to do with Lucius, I\'ll need all the luck I can get. Take care of Draco for me.\"

\"As if he were my own.\"

\"You always have.\" With that she stepped through the gates, took a few steps and apparated from his sight.

Enough of the outdoors, already. Dumbledore should surely have found something by now! Snape closed the gates and strode towards the castle entrance, robes billowing. If he hadn\'t, he was going to share the journals, especially if he wanted Snape\'s continued cooperation. A calculating gleam replaced the pained one Narcissa had seen.



Snape scanned the room as he stepped through the floor. Good, Dumbledore had returned and was seated at the meal table, but didn\'t appear well pleased.

\"Ah, Seveus. You have returned. I was just going to send Fawkes to find you. Would you like a cup of tea?\"

\"Perhaps later. Is Poppy around?\"

\"No, she had some things she needed to take care of in the ward. I felt it would be a good opportunity to discuss my findings. Please, have a seat.\"

Severus crossed and took a seat opposite him. \"Well?\"

\"I could find no record of Salazar\'s wand, or wands as the case may be, in his journals.\"

\"Bloody hell!\"

\"But, I did find an interesting entry in the expenses book for the school. It was around the time in question.\" Albus continued gravely. The twinkle was there but subdued.

\"He made the school pay for his wand?\"

Severus was impressed. He didn\'t know if it would have occurred to him to look there. Of course it was an intricate part of the daily life of a Headmaster, maybe he shouldn\'t be that impressed after all.

\"Apparently. It was quite expensive, even for this time of inflation, 30 Galleons.\"

\"Merlin\'s robe. What else?\"

\"It wasn\'t listed as a wand, only as experimental equipment. I recognized the name, it was paid to a Mr. Mountaguire.\"

The words that fell from the Headmaster\'s lips froze Severus in his seat.

\'I\'ve had the possible answer in my hand all along.\'

\"I take it that is the same maker of your unique wand?\" Albus gently inquired.

He didn\'t respond at first. \"Yes, it is.\"

Severus rose to retrieve the box from the dresser beside his bed. There were things associated with this wand that made him restless, not the least was the notoriety of simple ownership. His father played a large part in the uneasiness. Snape was never worthy of the wand in his eyes and had considered breaking it instead of passing it down through the family line.

Severus paused with the box in hand.

\'Perhaps it would be a good thing if the wand were broken. In a way she would be mine forever. Potter wouldn\'t be able to take her from me then.\'

Disgust broke the hold on his body. He\'d been spending entirely too much time in Salazar\'s diary. Snape turned and strode back to the Headmaster, placing it on the table. He felt dirty and his stomach became queasy as the realization of what he\'d been thinking rolled over him.

Albus watched as Severus sat down and opened the box. He noted a slight tremor in the hand that removed the wand but the gaze from Snape\'s eyes was steady.

\"I would like to try and retrieve the strand we\'re looking for without using the potion. If it doesn\'t work I can always try it again while under the influence of the potion.\" Severus\' voice was firm.

He really didn\'t want anything more to do with Salazar, or his brilliant potion.

Albus considered, nodded and together they rose from the table, walking towards the pensieve.