Fucking with Snape

Fucking with Snape
Chapter Fourteen
Still Snarky After All These Years


Thank the Gods he is finally asleep! I don’t think that I can take anymore tonight. No not sex with Severus, I can never get enough of that. I mean the crying, the constant wailing. Damn colic!

You would think that Severus could come up with a cure for the bloody colic, I mean he is supposed to be a Potions master. Oh, but no. Our son is as temperamental as his father it seems, because I am convinced that Severus is still colicky at the age of forty. What else could possibly explain his attitude in class?

Oh, but look at them! Aren’t they a pair? I love watching them sleep, little Axel especially. He looks so content plastered across Severus’ chest, his little hands clenching his father’s robes. The string of drool that is puddling on his fathers robes. Severus acts like he minds the wetness, but the vociferousness of his complaints are softened by the expression in his eyes.

Little Axel was a surprise, of course. Neither Severus nor I had even discussed the possibility of children. We didn’t think that we were parenting types, hell we still don’t. I actually thought that Madam Pomprey was joking me when she told me I was pregnant. Severus thought I was playing another prank on him until I enlightened him to the fact that I wasn’t.

He actually caused a first year Hufflepuff girl to faint when he, well I hate to say this, screamed in horror, “What do you mean you’re pregnant!” Then again perhaps it was the mental picture of the Greasy Git having sex that caused her swoon.

I suppose that I could have waited to tell him until we were in the privacy of our chambers, but I chose to do it in the Great Hall, in the middle of dinner because I thought he wouldn’t make a scene. You know, sort of like breaking up with a lover at a fancy restaurant or the theater because it’s too public for icky confrontations. But then telling your husband of two years that there is a baby on the way is rather different than telling some jerk you don’t want to see anymore, that you don’t want to see him anymore.

At any rate, the school stopped talking about it for awhile, until I started to show and then poor Severus had to put up with Albus’ constant twinkling and I had to put up with Minerva’s constant mothering. The students were the only levity on some days. My girls were of course fascinated and my boys drifted in between awkwardness and horror.

Then one day, a Seventh Year Ravenclaw made the mistake of thinking that Severus’ impending fatherhood had somehow, shall I say, mellowed him. On that day, the entire school learned that even though Professor Snape detests foolish wand waving, he will resort to it if pushed too far. The man has his pride after all and this boy’s stupid referral to my pregnancy as “ The Prof’s bun in ove oven” was a bit over the top. After the ids exs extra set of overly large breasts and rotund belly wore off, Filch found lots of things to occupy the boy with for the next month and Ravenclaw finished the year in last place.

We, had of course been exposed to all sorts of comments when we first came out as a couple. After that night with Severus, it was a foregone conclusion that we were to be together. Well to me at least anyway. Severus needed a little time to adjust to the idea of being part of a couple, and didn’t want to hold me back from life, so off I went to university to study for my teaching credentials. I had decided that I had had enough excitement in the war, so I read Arithmancy and of graduated in three years at the head of my class.

Severus couldn’t resist a remark about my being a “know it all” and how un-surprised he was at my status as head of the class. He then further surprised Harry, Ron and the rest of my friends (who were already shocked at his presence at the ceremony) by asking me to marry him.

It took a full five minutes to revive Neville. I don’t think that I have ever seen Albus laugh so hard, even after I had sent Snooks to Severus that morning.

Snook, by the way is doing exceedingly well and has quite recovered from the whole Mrs. Norris lust potion debacle in my seventh year, and they patrol the corridors together on some nights. Both are very protective of Axel, by the by. Sometimes annoyingly so, at least from Minerva’s point of view. I won’t go into that little episode, but suffice it so say that Madam Pomprey was very upset that I had popped a stitch on my incision so soon after giving birth, which only added fuel to her fire for I had had to have Axel in a Muggle hospital via a Cesarean section.

That was one of the few bad things that happened during the pregnancy. Aside from Severus’ fear of touching me let alone making love to me. I rid him of that fear one night when I could stand no more. (Pregnancy does the funniest things to one’s hormones!) Aside from his constant efforts to make me eat and make me rest-Gods it was so annoying. Once he had gotten used to the idea of being a father he really took the delicate in “delicate condition” too far. It lasted until I had my first hormone induced temper tantrum, then things went back to normal, as far as his personality goes.

No, he wasn’t in the operating room with me when I had Axel. Mummy was there instead because Severus had nearly fainted from the thought of me being cut open. It was probably for the best, because well, he did have a rather hard time with the Lamaze classes. He never admitted it, but I think the film really bothered him. Not to mention the fact that he, on more than one occasion alluded to the fact that he felt like an idiot with all of the huffing and puffing that he had to do. So we quit the classes, much to my secret relief.

It wasn’t so much the fact that I too felt like an idiot as well, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I was petrified at the thought of feeling any pain and had decided to go for the drugs.

So here we are. Axel is two months old today and Albus is fit to be tied since not only does Axel share his birthday but Albus is to be his Godfather. Minerva is to be his Godmother and Harry and Ron are honorary uncles.

They eventually got used to the idea o bei being Hermione Granger-Snape and made sort of a peace with Severus for my sake. They really are the best friends a girl could ever have.

Severus, once he actually got used to having a baby around (that took about a week) is actually very, erm un –Snape like with little Axel. Of course he is sometime un-Snape like with me too, but not too often. I love Severus the way he is, snarkiness and all. We fight and make up. Read together and debate the book’s points. There are days when we say nothing to one another and days when we don’t shut up. I help in the lab with his research and he stays away from my Arithmancy books. Best of all, is we still make love like demons, it’s still as wonderful as that first night, better actually.

Tomorrow is Severus’ birthday, and I have bought him a rare first edition novel that he has been wanting. It’s really quite old and needs to be wrapped very carefully.

Now where’s that bubble wrap?


The End.

I just to to take this opportunity to thank all of you who were so kind as to review my story. I am working on a novel, which I am hoping to have published in a year, but don’t worry, I am also working on my next Severus/Hermione fic too.

Live long and prosper!
Titania