The Shattering of Souls

i stand before you a... um.... well, i stand before you. i\'m here to tell you that what you find in here does not belong to me. well, some of it does.... but the majority of it comes from the wonderous imagination of one j.k. rowling. snape, harry, bill, remus... the lot of them belong to her. i\'m only borrowing them cos i thought they would work best here. you know.... snarky, sexy, bitchy... the whole thing. at any rate... not mine, nor is there any money to be made here. simply something to pass the time.

as always.... my standard raunch and nastiness disclaimer go here. i will not promise there will be smut here. but i assure you it is coming soon. and with..... oh, i\'ll leave that a surprise. at any rate... i juat wanted you all to know that this will not be clean. nor will it be pretty. so maybe you should bring something along. you know... just in case.

and, should you be feeling generous, please let me know what you think and how i\'m doing. i would like to know. really. please? k... i\'ll stop now.

Chapter Fourteen: Tortured Mind, Troubled Thoughts
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Bri sighed, lifting her head from the book while bringing her hands up to rub her eyes. She was tired of reading. Tired of not doing anything. Tired of not knowing anything. Just tired of it all. She was completely lost. In so many ways. And she hadn\'t been able to read this stupid page now for three days. She knew the first paragraph by heart. But that was the only thing she had been able to concentrate on. After that, it could have been written in Sanskrit. She just could not make herself concentrate one bit.

Closing the large tome, she pushed it to one side and decided that she should just go ahead and give it back to Severus. She would never get it read. And, at any rate, she wasn\'t all that interested in the topic. For some reason, potions just did nothing for her. She smiled as she thought of Severus. He\'d been kind enough to loan her books from his personal library. Most of them had been written about potion making, but a select few were actually more pleasurable reading. Items that she doubted he shared with anyone else.

He was behind closed doors, busy working. He had left strict instructions that he didn\'t wish to be disturbed. The others had actually seemed as if they were glad of his self imposed exile. She didn\'t understand why the others went out of their way to avoid Severus. He had to be the sweetest person she knew. Including before she lost her memory. He was always patient and kind with her, where as the others treated him as if he carried the plague. She couldn\'t understand that at all.

Standing, Bri stretched and stepped away from the chair. She moved to the window, looking out at the sunny sky and green grass. It was a virtual paradise here. And she felt as if she were being held prisoner. She hated that. The feelings of being completely lost and helpless. And she felt like that all the time. No matter how much the others tried to include her in their activities. She still felt as if she were on the outside with her nose pressed up against the glass, looking at her life as it passed her by.

Two months ago they\'d been cast into this eternally cheerful pit of hell. Two months that had done her no good in terms of recalling everything she\'d known before the dark, damp cell and Lucius Malfoy. Yes, she knew his name now. She\'d gotten Severus to tell her about him, so she could curse him in the deepest part of the night when she woke in fear. She still had nightmares. She just didn\'t wake screaming anymore. She didn\'t think the nightmares would ever truly go away. And she didn\'t think she would ever learn to live with them, to let them pass without waking in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. One didn\'t forget that kind of cruel torture.

Pushing those morbid thoughts to the back of her mind, she turned and looked at the bowed head of Bill Weasley. He seemed to spend much of his time in the library, with his nose stuffed in a book. His fingers were always stained with ink, as if he spent most of the day with a quill in his hand. But he never seemed to miss the opportunity to make her laugh. The red headed man was always telling her about his family, which seemed to consist of many brothers and one sister.

There were twins who were always planning some sort of mischief, pulling pranks on anyone they could. Fred and George, who seemed to single handedly wreak havoc on the unsuspecting masses as if it were their birth right, were the subject of many of his stories. Bri found she couldn\'t help but laugh when he told her about the trouble the twins caused at nearly every turn. His younger brother Ron, who tried to be as good at something as everyone else, but seemed to be just an average guy. A great guy who failed to notice his own wondeful character traits. His sister Ginny, whom he spoke of with a melancholy that lead her to believe that something tragic had happened to the girl. It was just as plain to her that he loved his little sister deeply. As he did all his family.

He had another brother, Charlie. This one worked in Romania with dragons and was always going on about some new thing they had found out about the scaled reptiles. A mention of his brother Percy once, in such a saddened tone, lead her to believe that this brother was dead. She didn\'t dare ask him how and when it had happened. But she did offer him a soft smile that told him she was deeply sorry for his loss. She understood loss at the moment all too well. She had virtually nothing.

Bri had decided not long after arriving here that she liked Bill Weasley. He was a very unassuming person. She wasn\'t sure how she knew, but she knew for a fact that he was a good person. She saw the man he was. That he actually seemed to be the man he portrayed to the world. And she liked what she saw.

She was just as certain that Remus was a very nice person, though she didn\'t spend as much time with him as she did Bill. He seemed to keep to himself much of the time. And when he wasn\'t on his own, he was curled in some corner with Tyler. The two of them would have their heads bent together as if they were conspiring. It was during those times when she would see him smile. A real smile that made him appear younger than he normally did. When he didn\'t smile, Remus looked as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

When he was lost in thought, Bri would study the man. She could sense that there was something different about him. Something... more. But she couldn\'t be certain. And she could also sense a thick tension between him and Severus whenever the two men were in the same room. It seemed the two of them had a history of bad blood. Alot of bad blood, if the disdain with which Severus treated Remus was any indication.

There were times when she would catch one looking at the other. Remus always seemed to have a look of sad longing on his face, as if he wanted desperately to say something to Severus. But he never made a move to. Severus, on the other hand, glared at Remus as if he were the one responsible for every ill that had ever befallen the Potions Master. Bri wanted to find out what had happened, but she didn\'t think either man would appreciate her nosing into their affairs. So she said nothing and merely watched them pretend nothing was wrong.

Then there were Harry and Izzy. She really didn\'t know what was happening with the two of them. Every morning, when they both joined everyone else at the table, she could see that they had been with one another the night before. Again. Harry always wore a look of smug supremacy, as if he were a king with knowledge that the others would only get should he deem them worthy. Bri knew that he hadn\'t always been like this. She had overheard conversations between Remus and Bill about him several times. It seemed that something was driving him over the brink, into the gaping maw of madness.

They both had spoken about what a wonderful boy he\'d been, before.... Before whatever it was that they wouldn\'t talk about in front of her. She noticed that, should they happen to look at her, they would close up as if she weren\'t allowed to listen in. Or as if it was something she wasn\'t suppposed to hear. It was as if they all thought she would react badly to whatever they were about to say. It made her wonder just what it was that they were hiding from her. If it had anything to do with her missing memories, she wished they wouldn\'t be so damned considerate of her feelings.

Izzy, on the other hand, seemed to be withdrawing from everyone but Harry. She stayed at his side like a lost puppy, practically cringing away from everyone who even dared breath on her. The bruises that marked her arms and neck were troubling, because Bri knew exactly what they meant. Harry was using Izzy the same way Lucius Malfoy had used Bri herself. Maybe not for the same reasons. But that wasn\'t important. What was important were the results. He was beating Izzy into something less than what she was. He was turning her into a mindless animal. It had to stop.

Bri knew well enough what she must have looked like when Severus had rescued her. To this day, several months after the fact, she still carried the scars. Most were mental, but there were one or two physical. Most notably was what had been carved into her back. Severus had told her that it was called the Dark Mark, and that Malfoy had claimed her as his with it. Made her his property. She had even gone so far as to look at her back in a mirror. The lines had faded to white, but it was plain to see. Severus had told her that they would never go away, that they were as healed as they would ever get. Malfoy had wanted her to know who had done it to her and why. Each and every time she looked in the mirror.

She wished she knew how to help Izzy. And Harry. She didn\'t want to see them travel the same path she and Malfoy had been on together for a time. She would have to think of something she could do to turn them back onto the right road. Before it was too late. She just didn\'t know how. Before she could come up with anything certain, her mind turned to the topic that seemed to be occupying much of her time these days. Severus.

Bri couldn\'t decide what was wrong with her. Every time she looked at Severus, a thrill ran through her. She couldn\'t name precisely what it was. She didn\'t know if she wanted to. When ever he laid finger on her, her blood pounded fiercely through her veins. Each of his kisses started a pulsing throb between her thighs. It was frightening to think that she wanted to let him touch her in more intimate ways, in more intimate places. To fill her with more than just his knowledge. She was scared, because she knew that she wanted him. And after what Malfoy and the woman had done to her, she\'d thought she would never want anyone to do that to her again.

And yet, it seemed she wanted Severus to do just that.

Her time in the dark, damp cell had been one continuous nightmare. Never mind she had been awake more than she\'d slept. The arrogant blonde had taken great delight in using her as brutally as he could. He had forced the long, thick length of his rock hard erection into her body whenever the mood struck him. He\'d battered her vagina and virgin bottom almost gleefully. He hadn\'t cared that she\'d been dry. He hadn\'t cared that he\'d ripped her open time and again, leaving her bleeding and bruised when he was through. He hadn\'t cared that he\'d hurt her. In fact, he\'d seemed to relish that with what could only be described as fanatical obsession.

The first few times, he\'d made her scream in pain. Made her cry tears of humiliation and shame. But she\'d learned to block it. She\'s learned to shut herself off from both him and the crazy woman that seemed to enjoy raping Bri as much as Malfoy did. She\'d had to shut herself down, pull away from the inescapably horrible situation. The woman had seemed to desire nothing more than to torment her. Where as Malfoy had been cruel and vicious bty calculation, she\'d just been plain mean and downright spiteful. He\'d always set himself to his task with purpose. He\'d been striving toward a goal. The woman had not.

Pushing the painful memories away, Bri turned her thoughts once again to her present problem. Severus Snape. The sad truth was, despite the overwhelming fear that came with her feelings, she knew she wanted him. She wanted him to take her to his bed, to lay her upon her back in the middle of the soft mattress and use his hands and lips and voice and eyes and so much more to bring her body to a fevered pitch. She wanted him to tease and tempt her into mindless ecstacy until she had no breath left with which to beg for him to stop. She wanted Severus.

She was afraid though. For obvious reasons as well as many others. She still had the harshly spoken words from Izzy to consider. She\'d tried, not all that long ago, to engage the other woman in conversation. She\'d been lonely and had hoped, despite the odd looks the woman had given her in the past, that the two of them could call a truce and talk. But Izzy had looked at her with an indecipherable expression on her face for a few moments. Then she\'s gone absolutely starkers and raved on and on about Bri being a traitor. Izzy had suddenly lunged at her, grabbing her by her upper arms to shake her violently. Izzy\'d demanded to know what Snape had done to her, why Bri seeme to look upon the man as if he were some sort of god. She\'d hissed at Bri that the man was no hero worthy of Bri\'s adoration and worship.

The encounter had left her shaken and confused. She felt fear overwhelming her. Fear of the woman\'s maniacal behavior. Fear that perhaps what Izzy had said to her was the truth. What if this was only hero worship? Was she so muddled in the head that she didn\'t know her own emotions? Part of her decried the claim. She had not latched onto Snape out of gratitude for saving her. Not that she wasn\'t greatful he had. She knew now that she would have gone quite mad if he hadn\'t gotten her out of the hellish place. But surely her feelings for him were true.

If she wasn\'t genuinely interested in him, if she didn\'t actually feel some sort of bond, some... connection, she wouldn\'t think about him as she did. Would she? If she saw him as her savior the way Izzy implied, wouldn\'t that negate her desire to become acquainted or reacquainted with the others? And she was making an effort to get to know them all. She\'d admit she was still a touch skittish about them. But she was honestly trying to be friendly. If she were so hung up on Severus in the manner implied, she didn\'t think getting to know everyone else would be something she\'d be worrying about or attempting to do. She really hated not knowing.

\'What are you so diligently trying to puzzle out over here, pet?\' hs voice was soft. It washed over her cool and smooth like silk, sending shivers racing up and down the length of her spine. Bri turned to look at Severus, a smile instantly tilting the corners of her lips up.

\'Nothing, really,\' she replied. \'Why do you ask?\'

\' I\'ve been standing in the doorway for some time, watching the expressions flitter across your face like the clouds sweeping across the sky,\' he told her. His voice was warm, liquid honey. She held back her groan. Instead, she watched as one of his fingers lifted to touch the spot on her forehead, just between her eyes where her brow creased up when she lost herself to thought. He smoothed out the wrinkled skin. It was something she\'d done as a student. It seemed that some things never changed, even if she didn\'t know they hadn\'t.

Severus\' hand moved until his finger touched her chin. He tipped her head up, giving him easier access to her mouth. She let go of the groan when his soft lips touched hers. Her arms moved up to circle his shoulders and wrap about his neck. His hands moves down to her hips, pulling her body closer to his. Letting his hands roam her figure, he molded her curves to his hard body.

His tongue touched her lips, driving them apart with the barest of flicks, then drove into the moist recesses like a man possessed. No matter how many times he told himself that he was punishing her, he couldn\'t help feeling as if she were made for him. From the very first kiss, the one she\'d started that night she\'d produced her Patronus dragon, she\'d known instinctively how to kiss him. Where to kiss him. As if she knew just exactly how he liked to be kissed. It drove him to distraction each and every time he thought about it.

Her tongue scraped along the edge of his, teasing his just the slightest bit. He groaned. He didn\'t know how a woman he hated could stir such a reaction in him. But she did. Even now, his cock was rock hard and straining against the confines of his black trousers. Almost mindlessly, he ground his erection into her belly. He sucked her moan down his throat, then gave her his own when she rubbed herself up against him.

It was nothing that she had ever actually done before, and it took him a moment to realize that she truly was pressing herself up against him in so wanton a manner. He felt it the moment her nipples peaked beneath the heavy clothes she wore. He swore he could actually feel the heat of her core through the layers of all their clothes. If he weren\'t so sure she was still afraid of the sexual relationship they were building, he would swear she wanted him. Badly. It was still a good sign.

His hands thrust into her hair, burrowing into the purple/black tresses to mold to the shape of her skull. The kiss deepened, their tongues battling one another for victory. His won, jabbing deep into her mouth until it was nearly to the back of her throat. She moaned softly, then switched from sliding her tongue along his to sucking on the probing muscle. He couldn\'t believe that she was so willingly joining the game.

Almost without thought, he moved forward, taking her with him to pin her to the wall behind her. She didn\'t make a sound of protest, merely lifted her legs up to wrap them around his waist. Giving him easier access to her molten core. He pressed his erection to her, up against her swollen lips. He could feel that through their clothes, knew she was slowly growing aroused. It only served to heighten his own need.

His mouth slipped from hers, kissing his way down over her jaw and along the line of her throat. Her hands clutched at his shoulders, her nails biting through his many layers of clothes and into his shoulders. His lips met her shoulder blade, her teeth clamping down on the skin there. She arched her head, arched her back so that her breasts pressed into his chest. His hips pumped forward three times, sliding his cloth encased erection along the eager flesh between her thighs.

Bri froze. \'Please, Severus,\' she gasped, her legs slipping from his waist to the floor. \'Not yet. I\'m... I\'m not ready. I\'m scared,\' she confessed. He stepped back, looking at her with his inscrutible expression. She blinked, her eyes looking moist. Heaving a soft sigh, he let her go. The smile he gave her was strained, but he didn\'t press the issue. He was, in truth, surprised she\'d allowed it to go this far.

\' It\'s alright, pet. I won\'t push you. We\'ll take as much time as you need,\' he managed to get out evenly. He was impressed with the way he\'d kept himself from sounding angry. And horny. And desperate.

\'You mean that?\' she asked with a sniff. He nodded, and she launched herself into his arms to hug him tightly. He ran his hand over her hair, smoothing it as one would a small child, then allowed her to pull away when she was done. \'Soon, Severus. I really think it\'ll be soon.\'

\' I\'ll be ready when you are, pet,\' he assured her. Leaning forward, he dropped a kiss on her forehead, then left her alone. She stared after him, wondering what had brought that on? Surely, if she reacted as she had, that meant that this was not a case of hero worship. Her insides tingled with pent up need, while her knickers were quite wet. Hero worship wouldn\'t cause that. No, this was sometihng more than a case of idolizing someone who had helped her. There were real feelings here.

Feelings like warm and toasty insides. As if she\'d been standing inside out before a roaring fire. Her toes felt as if they\'d curled right back into her feet, and her breasts throbbed with the need to be touched. She didn\'t even want to think about how wet and hot her pussy was. If this kiss was anything to go by, she needed him far more than he needed her. She was in such trouble.

~*~*~*~*~

Albus looked up when he heard the click of the latch on his office door. Minerva stood there, staring at him rather apprehensively. Her face was terribly pale and he could see the slightest of tremors shaking her thin frame. Her eyes appeared to be watery, as if she were on the verge of tears. Her hands seemed to be clasped together in a death grip about something. \'Minerva?\' he asked her softly.

\'This just arrived. It came by owl,\' she stated somewhat nervously. Slowly she stepped over to the desk, laying the object she\'d been holding on the flat surface before him. A fine parchment envelope lay on top of a small black box. The script was fine. Elegant. Aristocratic. Arrogant. Full of angry agitation, if the way the letters had been formed was any indication. He knew the writing well enough to know that the back flap of the envelope was sealed with a glob of hardened green wax pressed with an M. A letter from Lucius Malfoy.

With a sigh, he broke the seal and withdrew the folded parchment from within.

\'Dumbledore,

You will turn Potter and the Wallace bitch over to me, lest someone else meets the same fate as the person who presented me with this token so that I might send it to you. Open the box. I mean what I say. If you do not give me Potter and his bodyguard, you will receive more boxes containing gifts like this one. Some larger than others. I will contact you again soon.

L.\'

The box didn\'t feel very heavy, but that meant nothing. Lifting the hinged lid, Albus held his breath to suppress the groan. Laying on the pristine white satin lining was a finger. It was obviously from a woman\'s hand. It was already beginning the process of decay. Skin that had once been a healthy pink was now turning green. Gray. Black. Dead. The skin was rotting away with necrosis. Dumbledore barely held onto the rage he felt at this terrible crime.

A picture lay with the finger, containing the smiling faces of school aged childred gathered in a group. A sweet looking little girl was circled in red ink. She held hands with the boy next to her, plainly visible as they were on the front row. The boy had disheveled black hair and striking green eyes visible behind the round lenses of his glasses. Harry Potter grasped her hand, smiling lop-sidedly at the camera. On the hand he held, there was a small band of pale gold with an intricate design. The same ring rested just below the main knuckle on the dismembered finger. A ring that had belonged to that sweet little girl.

A girl. A young woman. A Muggle girl. Lucius was after innocent Muggles now. And he wouldn\'t stop until he had precisely what he wanted. Running a hand over his face and down the length of his beard, Albus sighed again. It seemed that now he had no choice. Harry and Bri had to come back from Otherworld. Before the Muggles were made to suffer for an old man\'s folly.

\'Albus?\' Minerva\'s voice sounded weary. He looked up at her to see she was giving him a very considering look. He managed a wry smile and shut the box. \'What is it?\'

\'Lucius has changed the rules of the game, it seems,\' he replied. When she merely stared at him, he shook his head. \' I will have to bring Harry and Bri back.\'

\'So soon?\' she looked shocked. \'Are you sure that\'s wise?\'

\' I have no choice. Lucius is now threatening the Muggles. I need to draw him out so that I can end this once and for all.\'

\'But... Harry? Bri? Are they to be casualties, too?\' she asked, her tone growing more indignant as the time went by. He looked up at her frowned.

\' I don\'t want that any more than you do. I know they were both in your House and both children you were fond of. But I cannot let Lucius run free to destroy the Muggle world,\' he told her sadly. \' In the end, we\'re all expendable.\'

\'Then all this time has been wasted. For nothing. Those children will die, and you\'ll be the one to give them to the man who will see it done!\' she protested, once again not letting her tears fall. \'I never thought I would see the day when you would give up, Albus. When you would turn your back on everything you stand for. Everything you\'ve worked for.\'

\'What would you have me do? I\'m an old man and I\'m tired. I grow weary of this game. I have a way to end it, and I\'ll take it,\' he snapped at her. She took a step back, staring at him as if she had never seen him before. \'Bri, of all people, understood the risks she undertook when accepting this assignment. She would understand my decision.\'

\'Bri Wallace knows nothing! How can you justify turning over a woman who knows not one small amount of information about her past?\' Minerva thrust her balled hands onto her hips.

\'That is nothing I can help! I don\'t like this any more than you do! But I will do what needs done to keep our world, the entire world, safe,\' he glared at her a moment. She stared back, looking at him as if she had never seen him before. After a few moments, she summoned a quill and parchment, then leaned onto the desk. It took her only a few moments to write, her movements sharp and full of rage. When she was done, she handed the parchment over to him. He studied the few carefully scripted words that were still drying. \'Minerva, you can\'t mean this,\' he looked up at her.

\' If you insist on going through with this insanity, then I most certainly do,\' she nodded emphatically.

\'But, Minerva,\' he began. She held up a hand and halted his words before he could utter them.

\' If you hand Harry Potter and Bri Wallace over to Lucius Malfoy, then you can consider that resignation in your hands official. I will walk away from this place and never look back. You have my word on that,\' she narrowed her gaze on him. \'After everything that boy and girl have done for you, you owe them more than this. They\'ve given up their lives in almost every way for you. They don\'t deserve your stabbing them in the back as payment.\'

In a flurry of skirts and robes, Minerva turned and stormed from the room. Long after she had gone, he stared at the written resignation in his hands. He didn\'t want it to come to this. He needed more time, damn it.

Just a little more time.

end chapter fourteen.
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my eternal gratitude goes to madam shark for all her help and encouragement. she really is one of my best friends and i would be lost in so many ways without her.

a special thanks to those of you who are reading this faithfully. i apologize for the wait, but my bunnies went on vacation without notifying me. but, they came back with a vengence this week. i\'m so happy. hopefully, it won\'t take as long for the next chapter.

please, if you\'re feeling generous, let me know what you think. drop me a note or something and tell me who you think i\'m doing. i would appreciate it lots.