A Secret Worth Keeping

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, only those that I created myself. Please do not harm me in any way. I only do this for fun.


A Secret Worth Keeping


Chapter Thirteen: Honorable and trustworthy?


Severus’s back was toward the door as he sat quietly, contemplating what had just happened. He barely heard the door open and the soft footsteps crossing the carpeted floor. In his peripheral vision, he saw Albus’s seemingly frail figure sink into his deep red, velvet chair with an audible sigh of contentment.

Albus noticed that his action did nothing to stir up the man before him. The lines of contemplation and confusion were deeply engraved on the younger man’s face. He looked sad and disenchanted and he now knew why.

“You love her.” It was not a question.

Snape’s head jerked up and his eyes caught the look in the old man’s eyes. He knew there was no real reason to lie now. Soon everyone would know what he had done and why Hermione fled and he doubted they would believe that he did actually love her.

“I do.”

“What do you plan on doing now?”

Severus shuffled in his seat and leaned forward, rested his arms on his thighs and laced his fingers to keep from flexing them in agitation. “Woo her, I suppose.”

Albus chuckled and pulled out a small flask from his desk along with two crystal glasses. He opened the flask and poured out the amber liquid into the glasses, handing one over to Severus. “That is a very old expression… to woo her. How are you going to accomplish it?”

Snape sighed staring down into the liquid swirling around in his goblet. “Not one fucking clue.”

Albus chuckled again, watching the other man over the rim of his own glass of brandy as he sipped. “Does she love you?”

Severus shook his head and placed his glass onto the desk without taking a sip. “No.”

“Perhaps not yet.”

“Perhaps not ever.”

Albus frowned and sat his own glass down as well. He leaned forward and folded his hands together, rested on his forearms on the desk, and gave Severus a curious look. “Are you willing to do anything possible to help her fall in love with you?” he asked.

Severus frowned but raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “What are you on about, old man?” Severus replied a little viciously. “I don’t want her to force herself into something that she doesn’t want? That’s happened already.”

Albus merely smiled in his own way, which caused Severus’s skin to crawl. He hated that all-knowing grin; it caused nothing but trouble. The elder wizard reached into a drawer, pulled out another item from his desk, and placed it before Severus.

“What is this?” Severus asked, picking up the cylindrical object and observing its milky-white appearance.

“It’s a candle.”

Snape sighed loudly and gave him an impatient look. He really didn’t have time for fun and games. “I am quite aware that it’s a candle, Albus. What are its properties?”

Albus leaned back again into his chair and grinned knowingly. “Nothing other than the normal properties of a simple, white candle, my boy. Magic, however, is not the point of this candle.” He plucked the candle from the other man’s hand and held it up before the other’s dark eyes. “For example, if you put a vast amount of candles, similar to this one, together, it can make up for a very romantic… atmosphere.” Albus lowered his head and looked at the man over his spectacles. “Do you get my drift?”

Severus let his mouth drop in surprise. He had never expected to get love advice from the Headmaster. “Albus…”

Albus laughed lightly and tossed the candle back onto the desk. The look on Severus’s face was priceless. “Now, now, my boy… I know I may be old, but I do remember romance. And I do remember the first time I had such a romantic dinner with Minerva… it was the most fantastic night in my life.”

Severus snorted at the thought of Albus and Minerva together romantically. “Don’t go there, Albus. I do NOT need that kind of mental imagery.”

Albus grinned and looked back at his friend perched on the edge of the desk. “Be that as it may… you need to show Hermione that you mean it when you tell her these things. Don’t just tell her that you love her…. Show her.”

Snape rose to his feet and started to pace the floor. “It’s not that simple, Albus. In case you have forgotten… I raped her.”

Albus sighed at the turn of emotions in his young friend. “From what I gathered, your body did, Severus… not your mind and spirit. You cannot fault yourself for another’s actions.”

“I’m afraid…”

Albus rose from his perch, approached the taller, younger man, and placed a comforting arm across his shoulders. “Love can indeed be frightening, but love can also be the greatest cure of all. Don’t give up simply because another man chose to try to take it away from you.”

Severus shook his head sadly. “You should be firing me, not being my friend.”

“No. None of this was your fault, as none of this is Hermione’s. There is no reason to punish you more than you seem to be punishing yourself.”

“She’s still a student.”

“True; now that she is back, you will have to be discreet.”

“I cannot have relations with a student,” Severus scoffed.

“I don’t think you have to worry about that now. I don’t think it could get physical for some time yet. You both have much to work out together.”

“True. I don’t think she would let me touch her at all…. Ever. Not that I blame her.”

“Give her time. As they say; time heals all wounds.”

Severus gave him a glare and shook his head. “This wound will just continue to get older and will eventually go to school here.”

“I don’t think Sebastian is a wound; he could be the cure.”

“Perhaps.”

“You’re a father, Severus. Rejoice in that. A child is a precious gift. Don’t go throwing it away.”

Severus’s brow furled as he looked up at the elder man. “I wouldn’t do that. I love him, he’s my son.”

“I know you wouldn’t, you are a man of honour.”

A snort of laughter sounded from Severus. “Honour?”

“Don’t, Severus…. You are a man of honour even if you don’t believe yourself to be.”

“I don’t feel honourable.”

Albus cocked his head, studying his young friend. “Perhaps you are not allowing yourself that particular emotion.”

“I have nothing to feel honourable about. My life is uncertain; it can be forfeited with one word from the Dark Lord. Moreover, it could happen soon when he learns of my child. A child that he will think I kept from him intentionally. Sebastian may yet become fatherless.”

“I don’t think so. I think Voldemort will want you to bring your son into his circle. He would expect you to pass on your darkness to your child.”

“Great. Wouldn’t Hermione be proud,” he spat.

“I wouldn’t worry about it now. Right now, you have to concern yourself with Lucius Malfoy. He will no doubt know that Hermione has returned, with a child, once term starts. I expect young Mr. Malfoy will relay the information to him.”

Severus’s teeth ground in anger thinking about his ex-friend’s betrayal. “I just don’t understand Lucius. Why did he do this to us?”

Albus’s face dropped as he let a small sigh escape. “I don’t know, Child. I don’t know what causes a man to do such horrible things to another. I can’t even begin to understand it.”

Severus glared into the distance. “I used to be like him. I guess I still am, to an extent.”

“No, my Son…. You are an honourable and trustworthy man. I know Hermione thinks so.”

“I still work for Voldemort, for the Dark Side.”

Albus shook his head, took up the brandy snifters once more, and passed one over to him. “You don’t, and you know it. Don’t try to make it worse. You are trying to make it better.”

Severus examined the glass in his hands thoughtfully. “I want to make him pay. I want Malfoy to suffer excruciating pain for the pain he caused her.”

Albus nodded and indicated for the other to sit down once more. “And how do you mean to do this? Without Voldemort’s knowledge?”

Snape lowered his eyes to the floor in thought. That would be the big question. How could he exact revenge without invoking the Dark Lord’s wrath?

“There’s one thing that bothers me.” Severus looked up once more at his mentor and friend. “Why hasn’t Malfoy thrown this up in my face these last nine months? He’s had plenty of opportunities to bring the subject up.”

Albus pondered the question for a bit before answering. “Perhaps he knew that you didn’t remember. Perhaps he didn’t want to bring it up in fear of his own health at your hands. I cannot fathom why he would want to remind you of that particular time. Mr. Malfoy is particularly adept at saving his own neck. He is more than likely living by the old phrase, Let sleeping dogs lie.”

Severus downed the remaining brandy and placed the empty glass onto the desk. “I still want revenge.”

“I know, and I’m sure you and Hermione will come up with the perfect solution.”

Severus walked to the door and glanced back at him with a worried look. “Do you think I should have gone and looked for her?”

Albus leaned back and laced his fingers together below his chin. “Why didn’t you?”

Severus looked to the ground, unable to meet his eyes. “I don’t know. I should have. I should have tracked her down and brought her back home.”

“Do you think she would have come back then?”

“Not with what I did still fresh in her mind.”

“Then, no. You did the best thing by leaving her alone to work out her feelings on the matter.”

“She had a very rough time during that point.”

“And you are here now to help her get over that.”

“If she will let me.”

“She will…”

Severus opened the door and looked out, paused, before turning and striding back to the desk to retrieve the candle.

“Just in case…” he whispered as he exited.