If the Crime Fits the Punishment

i\'m not doing this for money. i\'m doing it for the kicks. we all know these characters, except for a few, are not mine. we also all know that they are j.k. rowling\'s.

standard raunch warning. one never knows when a character is going to throw another character to the table and make mad, passionate...... well, you get the picture. ;p

and, finally: read and review. i love hearing from everyone. really.

Chapter Thirteen: Tattered Beginnings
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Kendra sighed as she heard the knock on the door. That must be the people her mum had hired to move her belongings back to the family home. She had decided, after a good long talk with her mum, and an even longer cry, that it was doing her no good to sit about her tiny flat and feel sorry for herself. Nobody was worth what she\'d done to herself over the loss of Severus. So the man didn\'t have any feelings for her. It was his loss, not hers. She needed to grab her life by the scruff of the neck and give it a good shake.

She\'d realized that she\'d been withdrawing from the world for sometime now. She couldn\'t say precisely when it had begun, but it had happened. Maybe she\'d done it because she\'d been in love with Snape all along, had confused the emotion with hate and had shut herself off from everyone and everything in her maniacal obsession. The month spent with him had been the best and worst of her life. Leaving him had broken her will. She\'d retreated completely into herself.

During this last month away from him, she\'d done something so completely unlike her. She had shut down. Totally. It had taken her mother\'s insistant persuading to make Kendra understand what she had done. Why it had been wrong. Snape had won. Because she\'d pulled back into herself, he\'d totally broken her will. Not any more. She was taking her life back. She\'d start with the trip her Mum and Da had given her as a gift for graduating Hogwarts. After that, she would figure something out.

Giving her trunks one last glance, she went to the door and opened it. This was no mover standing outside her flat. Her eyes went over the figure, back turned to her. Inky black hair brushed broad shoulders. Shoulders that were encased in a smoky gray silk shirt tucked into the waist band of snug black trousers. Snug enough to show the narrow waist and well rounded backside she knew so well. \'Severus?\' she whispered. His head swung round at the sound of her voice.

He was as beautiful to her as he had been that last time, his temper fully boiling and his face set hard with the emotion. He looked wonderful in his Muggle clothing. There was a curious lack of expression on his face, and it brought hope bubbling up. A smile began on her lips before she forced it down.

Severus watched the hint of a smile fade into a frown as Kendra looked at him. She was a sight to behold, even though her mother\'s assessment had been correct. She looked as if she\'d not been sleeping well, prehaps not eating as she should. The idea that she\'d been pining for him was like a balm to his battered ego. Until he realized that she\'d been making herself ill because he\'d behaved like an ass to her. He barely held back the scowl, but he felt his lips tighten in distaste. \'May I come in?\' he asked civilly.

\'Oh, of course,\' she said automatically, stepping back out of the opened doorway. There were trunks piled in the small living area, confirming the fact that she\'d been getting ready to leave. \' I\'m sorry, but I have nothing to offer you. I\'m...\'

\' It is of no consequence. I did not come here for your hospitality,\' he turned to face her squarely. He could see the question that she was going to ask in her eyes, and went on before she could voice it. \'I came here for you.\'

\'Me?\' she stared at him for all of ten seconds before he saw the anger gathering on her face. \'You came for me? I thought I made it clear to you the last time we spoke that I no longer wished to be your possession.\'

\'Quite,\' he agreed dryly. It was plain to see that she\'d gotten her cheek from her mother. He did so enjoy the sight of her, impassioned with emotion.

\'And yet, here you are. Are you so thick then, that you can\'t tell what the big words mean? Must I repeat myself? I can, if you like. I\'ll even be sure to use small words, so that you\'ll be sure to understand. I *will* not go back to being your toy! I...\'

\' I did not come here to fetch my toy back to me,\' he said, his voice low and serious. It caught her attention, and she stopped to stare at him. \' I came to fetch back Kendra MacLeod. She\'s a woman I happen to care about very much. I can see, though, that she\'s not here. I find before me the hateful little witch that annoys me to my very teeth. Perhaps when Kendra returns..... if she returns, you can have her drop me an owl. There is much she and I need to discuss.\'

With his last sentence, he made for the door. Let her stew over that for the time being. He\'d made the first move. He\'d told her how he felt. Let her come to him when she could stop acting so bloody abominable and childish.

\'Please, Severus. Wait,\' her voice stopped him just inside the open door. He looked at her over his shoulder. Her tone was normal, a little apprehensive. She was looking at him in something like hope. In wonder.

\'Yes, Kendra?\' he cocked a brow at her.

\'Do you mean it?\' she took a step toward him. She was tense. Nervous, as if she expected it all to be a dream. Her green eyes were huge in her pale face.

\'Mean what?\' he sighed.

\'Do you care? About me?\'

\'Yes, Kendra. I do,\' he turned back to her and she was heartened to see a crooked smile lift his lips. She didn\'t say anything for a moment, then covered the few steps that separated them to throw herself into his arms. He hugged her to him tightly, enjoying the way her body felt pressed against his. As if it were meant to be there. \' I finally realized that I..... \'

\' I\'m glad you did,\' she smiled up at him. Her eyes sparkled with happiness. He sighed. They had much to discuss and it needed to be done now. Before things went any further. She noticed the change in his mood immediately, breaking his hold and stepping back to look up at him expectantly. \'Something is wrong?\'

\'Yes. And no,\' he told her, sounding faintly indecisive. Not something he was used to. He searched his brain for something to say, but it was steadfastly refusing to co-operate after he\'d told it to piss off one too many times. He finally motioned toward the sofa with one hand, following behind her when she moved for it. He watched her perch on the old piece, awaiting what he had to say. He folded himself into one of her chairs and looked at her for the longest time. He had no idea what he should say. Too damn bad this wasn\'t like teaching Potions to a bunch of ignorant first years.

\'Severus?\' she asked softly. He could hear the fear in her voice. It struck him then that she was afraid he would reject her again. He offered the crooked smile once more, a movement that felt alien to his face after so many years of scowling. She relaxed just the slightest bit, still waiting for him to speak.

\' If this were Potions, I could simply fire off the required information without a single problem. But, as it\'s not Potions, you\'ll have to bear with me. I\'m not good at just speaking. I\'ve not had much opportunity to do it these days,\' he told her with a mirthless laugh.

\' I think you\'ll do fine,\' she encouraged. Gods, she was young. He could see it in the trust on her face. He didn\'t think he\'d ever been that young. Oddly enough, he didn\'t remember Kendra being so young when she was in class. She\'d had a brilliant mind when it came to her school work. He\'d never admit it to anyone, not even her, but he\'d always secretly hoped she\'d scored higher than Miss Granger had on her work. He still saw Hermione as a Know-It-All, as she had been in school. He\'d never liked a student who flaunted their knowledge like that. While Kendra had been a Know-It-All, she\'d been a silent one. The girl had never once raised her hand in class, and he\'d forgotten she\'d exsted more than once. But the open trust he saw on her face just now showed him how young the girl really was. He ran his hands through his hair, mussing it up with his agitation.

\' I think you and I should talk, before whatever we have together becomes anything else,\' he finally got out. She nodded wordlessly. She was being much more agreeable than he had expected. \'Now I\'m sorry you don\'t have anything to offer. I could use a drink about now. My throat has gone dry just thinking about this.\'

\'Well, I could always....\' she mumbled, more to herself than him, then put her hand out. Her lips were moving silently in some sort of charm or spell. He noticed she didn\'t have her wand in her other hand. In a moment, a bottle of pumpkin juice sat in her up turned palm. He stared at her, and she blushed. \' I don\'t really need the wand. It more or less acts like a focus. But everyone expects a witch or wizard to use a wand.....\' she explained, then handed him the bottle.

\'Thank you,\' he took the chilled container and popped the top, then took a deep drink. It slid over his parched throat like water down a slide. He felt infinitely better. \' I want you to understand that I\'m not a nice man. Nor am I easy to get along with. I\'m surly and sullen and mean. Quite frankly, I\'m a bastard. I don\'t know that I can change my ways, as set in them as I\'ve become.\'

\' I\'ve always known you were a bastard, and I\'ve never expected you to change. It\'s part of who you are. It\'s part of what attracts me to you,\' she smiled at him. \' In fact, I rather like you. Just as you are.\'

\'Kendra, what kind of life would you find with me? I\'m rotten. And I\'m old. I feel I\'m too old for you. You should be with a man your own age. I.....\' he protested, unsure as to why he was even as he did so. He waited for his brain to offer some insight, as this was just the sort of thing it lived for. But it merely turned its back on him.

\'Stop. I know this is new and rather scary for you. It\'s just as new and scary for me,\' she reminded him. She liked that he was showing his insecurity. Even if he didn\'t know it.

\'But look at you!\' he went on, his gaze raking the length of her body. Damn it, but she was beautiful. He wanted her right there on the couch. He clamped down in his rampant lust. They needed to talk, or they\'d end up where they had been when everything had exploded in their faces. \'You\'re a beautiful young woman. I\'m....\'

\'Beautiful,\' she interjected, smoothly and simply. He stopped to stare at her. He was sure his expression was typical of someone who watched another person suddenly sprout a second or third head. \'Severus, I find you beautiful. It doesn\'t matter what anyone else thinks. It only matters what I think. And I think you\'re beautiful. The most handsome man I\'ve ever had the priviledge of knowing. We\'re sort of a pair, aren\'t we? Both of us ugly ducklings, ignored by one and all until we scream at the top of our lungs.\'

\'Kendra, I\'m saying I don\'t know how to be the man you want me to be!\' he finally ground out in exasperation. She was twisting everything he said. She cocked her head, tilting it slightly to one side while she looked at him.

\'Haven\'t you figured out yet that you already are the man I want you to be? Severus, I love you as you are. Not for something I think you could be. For who you are now. For who you were in your past. For who you will become as you get older. You can\'t change your past anymore than I can change mine. And I don\'t wish you to.\'

\'Love? How can you love me? How could it have happened?\' he sounded stunned by the news. She chuckled at him, then moved to kneel in front of him. She took his hands, long fingered and elegant, in her own.

\' I think I always have been. Ever since that first day in Potions, when you came in and made poor Harry look like a fool. Didn\'t you realize that he knew nothing about the wizarding way of life until he was brought to Hogwarts? You treated him horridly.\' A faint smile passed his lips at the memory of that day. He had been particularly hard on Potter. All seven years the boy had been at the school. Annoying little git had gotten in and out of so much trouble, and had still been the Golden Gryffindor. It had royally pissed Snape off.

\' I don\'t know if I can love you. I don\'t know if I know how. I don\'t remember ever having done it before,\' Severus sighed softly. He looked into her eyes, expecting to see rejection there. Instead, the clear green orbs held deep understanding and unflinching resolve.

\'Then I shall have to teach you, shan\'t I?\' she asked softly. He could get lost in the fathomless bottoms of those green pools. She was offering him something he never thought he\'d ever have. A chance at a normal life. The love of a good woman. Happiness. It was all mind boggling to him. \' I don\'t expect poetry and songs from you. I think I would run screaming should you start spouting prose at me. All I ask for is the opportunity to share your life with you. To share my heart with you. We\'ll take everything else as it comes. One day at a time.\'

\' You can\'t know how much I\'ve missed you,\' he told her gently.

\'No more than I\'ve missed you, I\'m sure,\' she returned, smiling up at him. He looked at her face, thinner from missing him. And it brought his anger back at her lack of common sense. He frowned down at her.

\'You seem to be lacking in judgement, young lady,\' he remarked almost angrily.

\'Excuse me?\' she drew back, wondering at his change of topic.

\'You look decidedly as if you\'ve not been eating. I should hate to think that I must take you back to Hogwarts, only to put you in the hospital wing with Poppy,\' he reproached gently, trying to hide his flare of temper at her childish act. She caught it, though, and forced a smile.

\' I\'m sorry. I\'ve actually been a little under the weather, and food makes my stomach tumble about in a most upsetting manner. I\'ve nibbled here and there, but not really eaten,\' she admitted sheepishly. She\'d never been sick a day in her life, and hadn\'t even seen the doors of the hospital wing at Hogwarts.

\'Well, I suppose I shall have to do my utmost to make sure you return to perfect health and stay that way,\' he replied. She merely smiled, then nuzzled her cheek against the back of his hands. Her skin was soft as down and smooth against his work roughened hands. He slipped one from her grasp, turning it so that it cupped her cheek. She turned her face and pressed a kiss against his palm. Her breath was warm and moist on his cool flesh.

She\'d kissed him. On his palm, but it was a kiss. And he\'d never kissed her. Hadn\'t felt it would be right. Kissing was far too personal, and he hadn\'t given thought to the act. He didn\'t feel it would have been proper to kiss her before, because as much as he tried to deny it, she had been his possession. But now, they were starting out fresh. In a real relationship. And he wondered if she would mind too terribly much if he...? Oh, bugger it! He was willing to give it a try.

He pulled his other hand from her grasp, bringing it up to rest on her other cheek. She looked up at him, watching his black gaze rove over her face as if to memorize it. He looked uncertain about something, but it passed as he gently pulled her up on her knees. She had a few seconds to wonder what was going on before his mouth touched hers. Her brain was running about her head, screaming in uncontrollable joy at this turn of events. He was actually kissing her.

The pressure his lips exherted at first was light, as if he were unsure about himself. She could tell that he hadn\'t done anything so simple in quite a long time. Her hands crept up over his shoulders, hooking about his neck. He\'d had his mouth on practically every part of her body when they\'d shared his bed, but she\'d never known they were so soft. She\'d never imagined what gentle things they were capable of, after receiving so many scowls and tight lipped looks.

She rose up on her knees, pressing her body the length of his. His legs tightened around her hips, pinning her between them. He slid his arms around her back, pulling her in even closer. His head slanted to the side, his tongue passing lightly over her lips. She sighed, opening them under his own. His tongue slipped into her mouth, probbing at the moist recesses insistently. The pressure of his lips grew, became more demanding. Her mind tumbled over itself as it tried to form coherent thought. It was not happening with Severus\' lips so very thoroughly plundering her own.

The kiss was pure heaven. Her heart was pounding in her chest, heat coiling low in her belly. Her nipples tightened into painful peaks, rubbing against his chest through the clothes they wore. She could feel moisture already pooling between her thighs. His cock was hard, pressed against her stomach. The sex between them had been good before. She knew, despite having only been with him and the Malfoys, that he was rather an excellent lover. With this new dimension in their relationship, she could only imagine what spending time in his bed would be like. Both physically and emotionally.

Her hands drove up into the lush silk of his hair, pulling his head even closer to hers. Her mouth tasted like a good honey mead, sweet and intoxicating. He\'d not wanted to kiss her before, because he felt it was too personal. He had been right. Had he kissed her before discovering he had a heart and it knew how to feel still, it would have only made things between them worse. Now, though, it was like a heavenly gift. Her lips were rose petal soft, crushing themselves against his in much the same way her body was crushing itself to his. He couldn\'t help, nor hide, his erection. The last thing he needed to do was bury himself inside of her at the moment.

Despite the intensity of the moment and his desire to take her on the carpeting beneath his feet, he pulled away reluctantly. She opened her eyes, her gaze glassy and unfocused. He had to hide the smile that threatened at the idea that he\'d kissed her senseless. He wanted nothing more than to give into his baser needs, but they needed to really get to know one another before he could risk sinking his cock back into her. \'Yes, well,\' he said faintly, tugging on the now too tight crotch of his trousers. \' I can see we both found that a rousing success. Despite my being a decade or so out of practice. Now, I think it only fitting that I ask you the question I came here to ask you.\'

\'Question?\' she stammered, trying to corral her wayward brain. It was still jumping about ecsatically. He smiled at her this time. Seeing her disconcerted wasn\'t something that happened often. He\'d have to kiss her much more often and make sure she stayed in the state. ~Bloody hell! I\'m all for that!~ his brain cheered enthusiastically.

\'Yes. A question,\' he nodded. When she didn\'t say anything else, he continued on, a touch more subdued than a moment previous. Her hands had slid from his shoulders and now rested lightly on his knees. \' I was bloody miserable without you. It seems I grew quite used to you being there, breaking up the tedium of my daily life. Once you were gone...... well, suffice it to say that I don\'t think I shall want another drink for a very long time. I would be very pleased, Kendra, if you could find it in your heart to move into my dungeons with me. I know it won\'t be easy to live with me. My behavior is quite deplorable, even at the best of times. But I\'m certain that I could not face them again without you.\'

\'You want me to move in with you? As in a couple? As in, I\'m.....\' she began, but he cut her off before she could get the topic snowballing into epic proportions.

\'Yes. As in a couple. You and I as........ I\'m not certain boyfriend and girlfriend is the right set of words. But I think you can get my meaning,\' he told her, waiting anxiously for her answer. She tipped her head to the side again, studying him for a full five minutes before a beautiful smile broke over her face.

\'Of course I will! I\'d be a bloody fool not to, after you\'d asked me so nicely,\' she agreed readily, throwing her arms about him to deliver a tight hug. His arms wrapped around her, hugging her back. The emotions were so new to him, but he would have to see what they would bring. She broke from his embrace first, getting to her feet. He stood after her, intending to oversee the moving of her belongings. More like, to find a way to move her belongings without the entire Muggle population of London seeing them. He was distracted from the task, though, when he felt something warm and wet splattering over his lower calf and leather shoes.

\'What the bloody hell?\' he snapped as he looked down. A huge black cat was sitting near his feet, cleaning his paws disinterstedly. He could see the dark stain on his trouser leg and scowled. The cat turned it\'s green-gold gaze up to his black one, and Severus got the distinct impression that the animal was not only sizing him up, but warning him as well. Kendra\'s gaze followed his, and her eyes widened when she saw what had been done.

\'Wickersham!\' she spoke in a tone meant to chastise. The cat merely ignored her and continued to lick himself in what could only be called a snobby manner. She brought her gaze back up to his. He was scowling again. \' I\'m so sorry, Severus. I didn\'t realize he....\'

\' It\'s alright, Kendra. I don\'t think the beast likes me over much,\' he replied with a sigh. Just what he needed in his dungeons. A psychotic feline with a sense of vengence. This was going to prove rather an interesting arrangement, if he didn\'t kill the ruddy animal within the first two hours. Very interesting, in deed. He couldn\'t wait to see the animal\'s face when he and Kendra finally acted upon their heated desires. It might be worth the humiliation of being pissed on....

end chapter thirteen
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all i want to say is thank you. to every one.